Day 881 This is really hard sometimes

25 06 2015

My buddy Jim and I went to the Texas Rangers game last night for dollar hot-dog night. I was so pumped to eat so many hot dogs I threw up. Well I’m sad to report that I ate 3. Yep only three it’s just a sign Im getting old and hot dog are not what I imagined them to be. Rangers lost 8-2 and I laughed a bunch and that’s all that matters..

I can speak for the people close to me and my family within Rock Bottom life is a journey. Some of it has been simply amazing, the day I was married, the day my daughter and son were laid in my arms the first time, the day I got my first job out of college, when my dad said he was proud of me, when my daughter said I could stop apologizing and she was proud of me. Those are just a few of the great moments in my life but like I said its a journey. I spent more of my life in the valley, grabbing a hold of rocks and slipping down the hill, left in my own tears, watching them lower my father into the ground, telling my kids we were getting a divorce, finding out my mom had Parkinson’s, walking out of the courthouse the day of my divorce, pulling up to the hill in Aubrey Texas to take my life. I would go back further but not to bore you. Many days I wake up having no clue what I’m doing or why I’m doing it. I just trust that I’m hearing God right and let him guide me because when I followed my own way I feel into a pit and sometimes I do still. Sometimes when I hot publish on this blog, I know my trolls are about to attack. I know when I speak or post on my Facebook page Im going to get good and bad. When I speak on the radio some person is not going to agree and the verbal and personal jabs are going to hurt. Then comes yesterday!

I posted the following yesterday: Show a man his failures without Jesus, and the result will be found in a roadside gutter. Give a man religion without reminding him of his filth, and the result will be arrogance in a three-piece suit. But get the two in the same heart – get sin to meet Savior and Savior to meet sin – and the result might just be another Pharisee turned preacher who sets the world on fire.
Max Lucado
Romans 10:9-10 (NASU)
That if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.

Two people who I have been friends with over 30 years began an onslaught of things from my past: You’re a lying fool, I remember when you pulled a gun, when you passed drugs to someone, when you beat up that guy, etc.. He pulled all my past and then stated your “Jesus” didn’t save your marriage  or the things that went with it, like your dad, your business etc.. He said I listened to your radio show on Monday and just laughed you and everyone with Rock bottom are just a bunch of attention seeking whores that are just going to hurt more than you help. I didn’t say much more than you must be trying to find something because you listened to the show and you follow me closer than most. I said I all I can do is pray for you and love. He said no need I wont be a part of your crap anymore. 30 minutes later A girl I “dated” on and off for 2 years from high school to college texted me and I got the same words essentially.  She left me these words do remember what you did to me how many more did it happen to or now. It’s like they were talking over coffee and said let’s get this SOB. That they did!

So what did it do? It made me question me more than I ever have. Yes I know it’s not the truth and its two broken people trying to attack someone in a place they can’t be right now. Very true they know my past garbage but I’m not that man anymore. I know Im not perfect and Im not trying to be. God didn’t say don’t sin, he said confess your sins. Rick with Rock bottom and I talk often how we are held to a standard of perfection and we will never be able to do that. When we don’t I promise I beat myself up enough. I am convicted now and that’s better than I ever was. Jesus walked the earth and was lied about, ridicule, and eventually they beat the crap out of him , poked holes in his body and hung him to die. So why would I think I should be treated any different? I don’t, it’s just really hard sometimes when your trying to live your life right and then you get beaten down so bad.

I know what I signed up for. I would never change any of it. I wish I could make everyone I know that I hurt that I was sorry and they believed it but that’s not on me. I have said all I can say. I ask you this: If you have people in your life that are trying to better themselves please stop beating them over the head with their past. They know much better than you how they screwed up. Give them a chance to show you and listen to them be Jesus to you because it maybe the only Jesus you see in an earthly form. If what they are saying to you indirectly or directly is affecting you it might be time to listen.

Please don’t feel sorry for me I have enough warriors on my side to get me through my journey but if this bothers you and it upsets you, I always have room for more on my journey…

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Day 807 There will always be a consequence

13 04 2015

Baseball is here! Opening day for the Texas Rangers and almost everyone is hurt already and my son’s team is 3-0.  It’s so cool to watch little kids grow in such a short amount of time. Listening to them encourage and at the same time knock each other around is so cool. I miss those days but at least I get to watch it now. Denton Texas has a lot of great outside venues and a  lot of places you can’t smoke which I enjoy. I will say this I would smell cigarette smoke over the guy or girl who crop dusts people with the most fowl odor. Remember spreading toxic fumes is a crime  or I think if not it should be. This is your friendly PSA Public Service Announcement.

One lesson I’m teaching my babies is that there is a consequence for EVERYTHING we do. If you’re doing good, good will come back in many ways. It may not come back to you today or tomorrow but it will. We don’t do good to get it back but when you need it the most it will come in. It makes God happy when we give from a grateful willing heart.

I want to make sure that I believe God doesn’t punish us. He does give s free will which I think sometimes is punishment enough but no matter what everything in life will have a consequence. Some call it karma, life, or what goes around comes around. The past month  things I did 20’s and yes 30 years ago are coming back around to me now. I know Im forgiven there is no doubt but you don’t do some of the things I did or we all do and think we get off scott free. Many of the fights I participated in my body and especially my hands don’t function the way they should, I had 9 known concussions that were diagnosed and countless others that were not. Since I was trying to show my manhood, be tough etc.. I get foggy ad lost sometimes. Yes it could be old age but it’s also the absolutely beating I took in sports and fighting. Sure I have great stories and lots of memories but they are catching up. The way I treated people not only in just dealing s but sexually have caught up to me. When I have been treated a certain way I’m like I can’t believe they did that to me but then I remember oh yeah you weren’t always the best either.

The alcoholic that drank himself  to sleep every night for 20 years liver is failing. Yes it is and it doesn’t matter what you have changed in your life, what you cleaned up or what has been forgiven it always comes time to pay the piper. The drug user that got high all the time and now they can’t function, the cheater that cheats and now they slept with a good guy and now they have something. I could go on and on. This is my belief that no matter what the decision we made and make will have a consequence. Yes God can stop some it but you can’t do bad things your whole life and get nothing in return. I still never regret my life but I do wish I didn’t hurt some people who I did. If I could the feelings they had towards me I would, or the things my kids heard during their mom  and I’s fights i would.

So the good news is God is a great redeemer!! When your past catches up to your body, your heart and mind don’t be mad or astonished that it’s happening. Use it as a learning tool so we can teach those around us young and old that there is always a consequence good or bad. make sure to tell them the good too. Out of all the rock bottom I can stand in front of 1 or 1000 and tell them through my bad choices there came great from it but man does it hurt not only physically but mentally. The best vase is a shattered vase when glued back together because the sunlight has so many more places to shine through





Day 807 There will always be a consequence

12 04 2015

Baseball is here! Opening day for the Texas Rangers and almost everyone is hurt already and my son’s team is 3-0.  It’s so cool to watch little kids grow in such a short amount of time. Listening to them encourage and at the same time knock each other around is so cool. I miss those days but at least I get to watch it now. Denton Texas has a lot of great outside venues and a  lot of places you can’t smoke which I enjoy. I will say this I would smell cigarette smoke over the guy or girl who crop dusts people with the most fowl odor. Remember spreading toxic fumes is a crime  or I think if not it should be. This is your friendly PSA Public Service Announcement.

One lesson I’m teaching my babies is that there is a consequence for EVERYTHING we do. If you’re doing good, good will come back in many ways. It may not come back to you today or tomorrow but it will. We don’t do good to get it back but when you need it the most it will come in. It makes God happy when we give from a grateful willing heart.

I want to make sure that I believe God doesn’t punish us. He does give s free will which I think sometimes is punishment enough but no matter what everything in life will have a consequence. Some call it karma, life, or what goes around comes around. The past month  things I did 20’s and yes 30 years ago are coming back around to me now. I know Im forgiven there is no doubt but you don’t do some of the things I did or we all do and think we get off scott free. Many of the fights I participated in my body and especially my hands don’t function the way they should, I had 9 known concussions that were diagnosed and countless others that were not. Since I was trying to show my manhood, be tough etc.. I get foggy ad lost sometimes. Yes it could be old age but it’s also the absolutely beating I took in sports and fighting. Sure I have great stories and lots of memories but they are catching up. The way I treated people not only in just dealing s but sexually have caught up to me. When I have been treated a certain way I’m like I can’t believe they did that to me but then I remember oh yeah you weren’t always the best either.

The alcoholic that drank himself  to sleep every night for 20 years liver is failing. Yes it is and it doesn’t matter what you have changed in your life, what you cleaned up or what has been forgiven it always comes time to pay the piper. The drug user that got high all the time and now they can’t function, the cheater that cheats and now they slept with a good guy and now they have something. I could go on and on. This is my belief that no matter what the decision we made and make will have a consequence. Yes God can stop some it but you can’t do bad things your whole life and get nothing in return. I still never regret my life but I do wish I didn’t hurt some people who I did. If I could the feelings they had towards me I would, or the things my kids heard during their mom  and I’s fights i would.

So the good news is God is a great redeemer!! When your past catches up to your body, your heart and mind don’t be mad or astonished that it’s happening. Use it as a learning tool so we can teach those around us young and old that there is always a consequence good or bad. make sure to tell them the good too. Out of all the rock bottom I can stand in front of 1 or 1000 and tell them through my bad choices there came great from it but man does it hurt not only physically but mentally. The best vase is a shattered vase when glued back together because the sunlight has so many more places to shine through





Day 175 Tell me Im a good man

1 07 2013

Have had weird weekend so far. I had a blast Friday night at the Texas Rangers baseball game with my buddy. We got the 24 inch hotdog  called the Boomstick and Waffle Fry brisket nachos and shared those. I usually don’t eat like that but one night. Until we found out that in both items there are 7000 calories in both. Rangers won so it was worth it. I met a friend  yesterday and it was great to catchup stir a lot of emotions from past that I didn’t know I had. Last night hung out in Fort Worth one of the coolest cities in the US and watched the idiots get their drink on. Nice looking crowd if your single A college friend died on Cancer Friday and then I woke up on the sad side of the bed today and I’m trying to fight through that.

When I got home last night I caught the last 15 minutes of saving Private Ryan. One of the greatest War movies ever created. You can run the gamete of emotions in the movie but the last 5 minutes pull at you from every way. In the clip below it the last 2 minutes that made me think something I always want to hear.

youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1r8zgU7wE8w

Every man wants to hear: Tell me I’m a good man, Tell, me I lived a good life! You want to hear it from your father and your spouse. It’s the most powerful words that can be spoken over a man. There are very few times that we get to actually fell that way. I actually get chills listen to his words. On fathers day weekend when I went back to my dad’s grave I prayed I could hear his voice say those words and if could have been there he would have. When a man wants to hear tell me I’m a good man it entails the following: Was a great spiritual leader,Am I a good husband, provider, father, helper, do other man see me as an example of what to follow, Did I do all I could to change the world for the better, did I extend the helping hand when I got the opportunity, When it was time to rise to the occasion and nobody else wanted to I did, Are you proud of me, I never gave up, did I give the best of me first and not last.

It does not entail: Did I drink the most beer, did I throw the best parties, Did I turn my back on my spouse when she was unlovable, when my kids embarrassed me did I turn my back on them, when someone needed my help did I make excuses, when the heat gets turned up did I fall into the background.

If you get the chance to tell a man he is good please do it. Tell him he lived a good life. If you don’t think he has encourage him to do that he wants it more than anything. Sometimes he just doesn’t know how. Don’t give up on him!

I can’t wait to hear those words again, from my children (You were the best man and daddy) or when I get married again for my wife to look at me and say you are the best thing that ever happened to me, you’re a great man and have lived an amazing life!!





Day 175 Tell me Im a good man

30 06 2013

Have a weird weekend so far. I had a blast Friday night at the Texas Rangers baseball game with my buddy. We got the 24 inch hotdog  called the Boomstick and Waffle Fry brisket nachos and shared those. I usually don’t eat like that but one night. Until we found out that in both items there are 7000 calories in both. Rangers won so it was worth it. I met a friend  yesterday and it was great to catchup stir a lot of emotions from past that I didn’t know I had. Last night hung out in Fort Worth one of the coolest cities in the US and watched the idiots get their drink on. Nice looking crowd if your single A college friend died on Cancer Friday and then I woke up on the sad side of the bed today and I’m trying to fight through that.

When I got home last night I caught the last 15 minutes of saving Private Ryan. One of the greatest War movies ever created. You can run the gamete of emotions in the movie but the last 5 minutes pull at you from every way. In the clip below it the last 2 minutes that made me think something I always want to hear.

youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1r8zgU7wE8w

Every man wants to hear: Tell me I’m a good man, Tell, me I lived a good life! You want to hear it from your father and your spouse. It’s the most powerful words that can be spoken over a man. There are very few times that we get to actually fell that way. I actually get chills listen to his words. On fathers day weekend when I went back to my dad’s grave I prayed I could hear his voice say those words and if could have been there he would have. When a man wants to hear tell me I’m a good man it entails the following: Was a great spiritual leader,Am I a good husband, provider, father, helper, do other man see me as an example of what to follow, Did I do all I could to change the world for the better, did I extend the helping hand when I got the opportunity, When it was time to rise to the occasion and nobody else wanted to I did, Are you proud of me, I never gave up, did I give the best of me first and not last.

It does not entail: Did I drink the most beer, did I throw the best parties, Did I turn my back on my spouse when she was unlovable, when my kids embarrassed me did I turn my back on them, when someone needed my help did I make excuses, when the heat gets turned up did I fall into the background.

If you get the chance to tell a man he is good please do it. Tell him he lived a good life. If you don’t think he has encourage him to do that he wants it more than anything. Sometimes he just doesn’t know how. Don’t give up on him!

I can’t wait to hear those words again, from my children (You were the best man and daddy) or when I get married again for my wife to look at me and say you are the best thing that ever happened to me, you’re a great man and have lived an amazing life!!

 

 





Day 44 No creativity

4 10 2012

Well thank u to the Texas Rangers and Dallas Cowboys for making me vomit in my mouth this week. I actually cussed out loud when Josh Hamilton dropped a routing flyball. Nobody cares though so I will move on.

My daughter made from scratch spaghetti and sauce. It was amazing dinner. She enjoys and is actually really good at it. We had parent teacher yesterday with myself and the ex and it was great. My daughter got flowing remarks and is also teachers pet. What can I say she is a chip off the ole block. Lol

 

I don’t have a lot of creativity today so I m going to steal from the Huffington Post article sent to me by my friend Javier.Single Fathers: Wearing Many Hats And Still Dating With Charm

This article was written by: Kimberly Seltzer LCSW is a Therapist, Matchmaker, Personal Image Expert and Dating Coach at The Art of Charm.

Here are six things all single dads need to do when dating again:

1. Compartmentalize your life to create balance. Many single fathers describe feeling like they have split-personality disorder. Bouncing from leading a meeting as CEO of your company to playing with your son to meeting someone new for a date can be daunting. Instead of letting all of those roles blend together, take the time to cultivate each one. For instance, if you are at work, try to put most of your energy into your professional goals and think about your date afterwards. Also, make sure you have allotted some time to shake off that role before heading into the next. If you have a date right after work, allow some transition time to relax. Listen to music, talk to friends and change your outfit. Much like a costume change in a play, switching outfits is important to help you get into your new role. Avoid running from one event to another without some down time in between.

2. Embrace the benefits of being a single dad. It is easy to focus on the negatives — the heartbreak and emotional turmoil of divorce. Instead, embrace the positives of dating the second (or third, of fourth…) time around. Many women say they actually prefer dating a divorced man with children because they are more giving, caring and know what it is like to be in a long-term relationship. They also already have children so there is less urgency, desperation and fear of a biological clock ticking.

3. Exercise the mind. Stimulate and challenge yourself mentally. Acquire a skill and learn about things you might not have been able to master when married. Discover a new career, go back to school, take classes, learn a language or read books. By doing this, you might tap into a new part of you and have more to talk about when you are on dates. Women love men who are interesting and can carry good conversations.

4. Feed the spirit. Create calmness, balance and inner peace within yourself by finding you time. As a single father, you are expected to be both mom and dad, all while having to bring home the bacon. It’s important to do things for yourself and to let off steam. Join a basketball league with other dads, get a massage, take a vacation or go to a concert. Maintain old friendships and encourage new ones with other single men so that you have a social life outside of parenthood. Having a good group of friends will give you more opportunities tobe social and increase your chances of meeting women.

5. Take care of your body. Many times as a parent, you don’t carve out the time or have the energy to exercise. But exercise is a great way to refocus your energy, get in shape and have that you time. Also, you’ll sleep better and have more energy for your kids. If you truly can’t find the time to exercise, make it a part of other activities. Run around with your kids, walk with a friend, and be sure to schedule those activities the same way you do with work and errands. You can also get into your body and out of your head by taking a salsa lesson or an improv class to regain your confidence. Remember that the majority of communication is nonverbal, which is extremely important in capturing a woman’s eye. Women love men who are comfortable in their body.

6. Get a great dating image. Your date clothes should look different than your corporate and daddy clothes. Overall, your dating image should be cool, youthful, sexy and updated. Get rid of the pleated pants, college basketball shirts and acid-washed jeans. Women really pay attention to how you dress when forming a first impression. Make sure you look at your wardrobe and see if it makes the statement you want. Always go out looking your best, whether you are going to the grocery store or walking your dog. Dress in a way that makes you feel confident because you never know who you might meet.

Getting back out into the dating world as a single parent can feel overwhelming and exhausting, but try to have fun and enjoy the freedom. Think of it as an opportunity to find yourself again!

I think I m heading in the right direction. If not I have a small checklist.

Love ya pass this along








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