Day 1678 What happened- is this real Mom

Good afternoon peeps. It has finally cooled off and my mood is good. You can actually go outside  and not need a shower immediately. Pumpkin spice is in full roar. I think I got 87 Octane pumpkin spice gasoline yesterday. It’s good for horsepower or something.

Today my mom would have been 75 years old. I wanted something poetic or breathtaking to honor her I’m not sure this will do it. I can’t believe this is your 2nd birthday without you.

There is no shock today like last year. It has set in your gone. It is more real than I could imagine. I shed my tears today but there are more smiles too. Your impact on this word is missed but the impact on us cannot be put into words. I fight this life harder now because I know more than anything that’s what you wanted. I try everyday to make you proud and honor you by trying to be like you.

When I walked into your room that morning and saw you weren’t  breathing but peaceful I knew that you were in a much better place but we still needed you. You touched so many lives as a Grammie, teacher, friend, sister, aunt but what you did for Meagan and I could never be measured. You were my best friend, at times my punching bag, you loved me when no one else did, had a way with words that other person could, you never left my side, you had a way of getting through my stubborn head in a way nobody could.
Life has not been the same, I hear your voice in everyday life and when things get tough saying never quit. You were the most amazing creation from God. I wish today you were calling me to tell me all about the flowers we bought you and all the colors in them and smell the white diamonds perfume on you. I know your watching us with a smile and probably cooking for everyone on your birthday because that’s who you are.
These words are not enough with tears streaming and a broken heart just know you were my everything. I love you mom and thank you.
Happy birthday Billie Louise Wood.

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Day 1392 My first Christmas without my mom

Merry Christmas! These last 2 months have been crazy. Trying to balance it all and dealing with the holidays have been tough but today I wanted to write/blog.  I hope you realize how great my mom was. Until the next one!

I can’t believe it’s almost been a year since my mom left us to go be with my dad in heaven on 12-29-15 .  Christmas will never be the same but how I appreciate her so much more now which I didn’t know was possible.

Christmas are the best memories of my mom. when we were younger and finances were better we were spoiled. my parents had a hard time saying no. We got what we asked for. so much so my dad told  years later my mom drove 4 hrs to Oklahoma city to get Junkyard Dog wrestling figure  an 8 hr trip for a $20 dollar toy.

starting in 8th grade my dad became disabled and we tried to live on a teacher’s salary .  nobody knew we were poor my mom didn’t allow for it. i never knew sometimes how were going to eat but things worked out . after my freshman year of high school I stopped asking for things. I didn’t want to ask for things because I felt selfish. When Christmas started rolling around mom asked over and over just tell me just one thing you want. Finally after she tried to rip my ear off I would tell her but told her I never expected anything, what you  do for us is enough. then Christmas morning Santa always came. I never could grasp how in the hell when we struggled to eat sometimes how she did it.

When I got to the point I appreciated my parents in my late 20’s I sat down one day and said how did you do it.

She said you always sacrifice and you try you damnedest  to never let your kids down. She said you sell things, you ask favors, you  drop your pride. which I told I promise you never did let us down . I have so many stories of her undying sacrifice ,  love, her heart of gold, her love of other people.

I have no idea how she juggled the job of a wife caring for a disabled husband, an amazing mother,  a school teacher, a friend, daughter, sister, super woman, a great cook, a disciplinarian, the loudest fan at her kids games, the first one to offer to help and then do it and finally the jolliest, most giving Santa Claus, whose  toy bag always  had the right toy in it every time.

This Christmas will never be the same but what she taught me on Christmas  is one thing I will cherish and pass along forever .

Day 619 It’s time to write that book

Parenting is hard and some days you pray that someone would hand you a manual and say do it this way. I promise it will work. We all know it doesn’t work that but we wish. We usually focus on what our kids don’t do right rather than what they do. We beat ourselves up so much as parents and we never look and say you know I’m or we are doing a good job. Yesterday we attended our first Parent/teacher conference for my son Brayden. This is his first year in school so I was very interested in what she had to say. She said he was a good reader, and good at math etc.. Said he was very bright. She then said he is by far the nicest kid in my class. Said everyday when they go to recess he waits and sees which kid doesn’t have anyone to play with and goes and plays with that kid. I almost didn’t hear what she said and when I was walking out I said did you say everyday that he does that about playing with the kids. She said everyday I’m out there he does. I wiped a tear from my eye as I walked back to my car. I got in my car and cried. I knew he was a caring little boy but I didn’t know he would even know to do that. At football practice last night I got down to eye level and told him how proud I was of him and what the teacher said. I then asked him why he did that for the kids and without missing a beat he said ” You tell me every morning to be good to my friends and I don’t want them to be sad or cry at recess and I can play with anyone”. Im truly a lucky man to have the two kids God gave me.

Sometimes in life we think to hear from God we have to hear the deep Charleston Heston voice saying Tyler you need to do the ABC. It never works that way. It usually happens in quiet time, a song or people put in our lives for a reason. Sometimes that person is close or a stranger. I have always wanted to write a book mostly so I could be famous. God changed my life and I kind of put that on back burner. It still rings in my head every once in a while. Since I started writing my blog somebody will pop in and say you should write a book. I always ask why they think that I get because I would read, people need it, it’s a heck of a story your life, I want to know the details that aren’t in your blog. So I talked about to a few people lately and then I say do you think really people would read it, I doubt myself and said maybe one day. Last night I’m just watching practice lady comes  up to me and says your that big guy that writes that blog. She said that lady over there said to read it and I read 10 of them over the weekend. I said I hope you enjoyed them.  She said enjoy was one word but wow is what came to mind. She said I have never heard a man be so open, vulnerable, logical, and do it through the pain that you have gone through and now your here. Have you ever thought about writing a book. I chuckled and said yeah and you’re helping me make sure I do. I asked her why should I and  she said: You can change lives, people need to hear your story, women need to hear your honesty, you give me hope and you can change a generation of men if you choose to do so. I gave her a hug and told her thank you and she made me promise not to stop writing. So with that its time I write the book and fill in some details . I know at least 12 people who will read it so that’s a good start. So say some prayers that I get the direction and the door will open so I can find out how to do it. In the meantime save your money so you can buy one lol. For those that have encouraged me to this point to write the book thank you and I know Im stubborn but I heard you.

Day 619 It’s time to write that book

Parenting is hard and some days you pray that someone would hand you a manual and say do it this way. I promise it will work. We all know it doesn’t work that but we wish. We usually focus on what our kids don’t do right rather than what they do. We beat ourselves up so much as parents and we never look and say you know I’m or we are doing a good job. Yesterday we attended our first Parent/teacher conference for my son Brayden. This is his first year in school so I was very interested in what she had to say. She said he was a good reader, and good at math etc.. Said he was very bright. She then said he is by far the nicest kid in my class. Said everyday when they go to recess he waits and sees which kid doesn’t have anyone to play with and goes and plays with that kid. I almost didn’t hear what she said and when I was walking out I said did you say everyday that he does that about playing with the kids. She said everyday I’m out there he does. I wiped a tear from my eye as I walked back to my car. I got in my car and cried. I knew he was a caring little boy but I didn’t know he would even know to do that. At football practice last night I got down to eye level and told him how proud I was of him and what the teacher said. I then asked him why he did that for the kids and without missing a beat he said ” You tell me every morning to be good to my friends and I don’t want them to be sad or cry at recess and I can play with anyone”. Im truly a lucky man to have the two kids God gave me.

Sometimes in life we think to hear from God we have to hear the deep Charleston Heston voice saying Tyler you need to do the ABC. It never works that way. It usually happens in quiet time, a song or people put in our lives for a reason. Sometimes that person is close or a stranger. I have always wanted to write a book mostly so I could be famous. God changed my life and I kind of put that on back burner. It still rings in my head every once in a while. Since I started writing my blog somebody will pop in and say you should write a book. I always ask why they think that I get because I would read, people need it, it’s a heck of a story your life, I want to know the details that aren’t in your blog. So I talked about to a few people lately and then I say do you think really people would read it, I doubt myself and said maybe one day. Last night I’m just watching practice lady comes  up to me and says your that big guy that writes that blog. She said that lady over there said to read it and I read 10 of them over the weekend. I said I hope you enjoyed them.  She said enjoy was one word but wow is what came to mind. She said I have never heard a man be so open, vulnerable, logical, and do it through the pain that you have gone through and now your here. Have you ever thought about writing a book. I chuckled and said yeah and you’re helping me make sure I do. I asked her why should I and  she said: You can change lives, people need to hear your story, women need to hear your honesty, you give me hope and you can change a generation of men if you choose to do so. I gave her a hug and told her thank you and she made me promise not to stop writing. So with that its time I write the book and fill in some details . I know at least 12 people who will read it so that’s a good start. So say some prayers that I get the direction and the door will open so I can find out how to do it. In the meantime save your money so you can buy one lol. For those that have encouraged me to this point to write the book thank you and I know Im stubborn but I heard you.

 

 

Day 168 Drop your type/sex

Babies are back and are a hand full. Especially the one who could be Tyler Jr. I owe my mom such a huge apology for being such a butt as a child and then so cute. My son goes 100 mph and like today decided that he didn’t hear my say put your underwear in the dirty cloths, he said you said “you said to put them in the toilet and pee on them” I asked my would I say that? He said you do laundry! Oh well he made me laugh.

I learned and I’m learning that we all have a type of person that were drawn to and that is a horrible thing. yes a horrible thing and lets put one more on that makes you think  okay Tyler you have lost it. The person that you are physically attracted to the most run away from. I didn’t say you weren’t supposed to be physically attracted to just attracted to the most.

You hear someone say every guy or girl I date just doesn’t work out. I married this person and then got divorced and now Im someone else and they are just like my ex. (Clear my throat) now you’re the problem because what you are attracted to doesn’t work for you. You go after whats comfortable what  you always know and it fails you every time.

Let me give you my example: Tall, large boobs, fake, dark hair, needs me to take care of her (not enhance her) looks great in public, bitchy, looks flawless. That is what Im drawn to always have been and it has gotten me into trouble always. Now that type of person is not bad but it doesn’t work for me. Someone else could be blessed to have that but that’s my krptonite. What do you say it does. First all for me,  I see is the physical and usually don’t get past that, the fake part doesn’t allow me to see what happens when life happens, I want to take care of a women, but I want her to be independent and stand on her own feet. What if something happens to me I need that person to be confident enough in themselves to live a life without me. We should be great together or apart. There is a look of Im not approachable, don’t talk to me if you do come over and talk to me I will slap you. So I like that but that women is a killer to me. I need the opposite of those things but with a mixture of a little of each.

I hear women all the time say I only date Cowboys, athletes, nerds, drunks, guys I need to fix. So if you fit in one of those categories stop it. How has that worked for you. Try something different. When you have a type you have a “disease”

Guys, I need her to look like ABC, she to be built like this, I can’t date a lady who is a teacher,  a CEO, a manager,I can’t date a short girl, tall girl. Really how about we all look for physically attracted, honest even if its hurts, a beautiful smile, someone who will truly  accept you and not try to change you. When you get a type you always want to change that person to something that’s not your type. Are you seeing this?

Keep your mind open to someone and something new the best hing in your life could be right under your nose. If you don’t believe me the next time your out see what your attracted to and see if that’s what got you to this miserable place in a relationship.

Finally on the most physically attracted to: I have taken three relationship classes and each one said you have to be physically attracted but if you feel I must have that person and all you do is think of sex with that person then that’s all your relationship will be. When the sex dies down so does the relationship. I fought that for a while but what Im mostly physically attracted to has ALWAYS gotten me in trouble and ended in a mess. How do you know how crazy someone is if you’re having sex with them. You can’t all you see and feel is sex. You cover up what is most important. Don’t believe try it for yourself.

This is coming from a single guy that has had his heart-broken because I listen and see the wrong things.

 

Day 168 Drop your type/sex

Babies are back and are a hand full. Especially the one who could be Tyler Jr. I owe my mom such a huge apology for being such a butt as a child and then so cute. My son goes 100 mph and like today decided that he didn’t hear my say put your underwear in the dirty cloths, he said you said “you said to put them in the toilet and pee on them” I asked my would I say that? He said you do laundry! Oh well he made me laugh.

I learned and I’m learning that we all have a type of person that were drawn to and that is a horrible thing. yes a horrible thing and lets put one more on that makes you think  okay Tyler you have lost it. The person that you are physically attracted to the most run away from. I didn’t say you weren’t supposed to be physically attracted to just attracted to the most.

You hear someone say every guy or girl I date just doesn’t work out. I married this person and then got divorced and now Im someone else and they are just like my ex. (Clear my throat) now you’re the problem because what you are attracted to doesn’t work for you. You go after whats comfortable what  you always know and it fails you every time.

Let me give you my example: Tall, large boobs, fake, dark hair, needs me to take care of her (not enhance her) looks great in public, bitchy, looks flawless. That is what Im drawn to always have been and it has gotten me into trouble always. Now that type of person is not bad but it doesn’t work for me. Someone else could be blessed to have that but that’s my krptonite. What do you say it does. First all for me,  I see is the physical and usually don’t get past that, the fake part doesn’t allow me to see what happens when life happens, I want to take care of a women, but I want her to be independent and stand on her own feet. What if something happens to me I need that person to be confident enough in themselves to live a life without me. We should be great together or apart. There is a look of Im not approachable, don’t talk to me if you do come over and talk to me I will slap you. So I like that but that women is a killer to me. I need the opposite of those things but with a mixture of a little of each.

I hear women all the time say I only date Cowboys, athletes, nerds, drunks, guys I need to fix. So if you fit in one of those categories stop it. How has that worked for you. Try something different. When you have a type you have a “disease”

Guys, I need her to look like ABC, she to be built like this, I can’t date a lady who is a teacher,  a CEO, a manager,I can’t date a short girl, tall girl. Really how about we all look for physically attracted, honest even if its hurts, a beautiful smile, someone who will truly  accept you and not try to change you. When you get a type you always want to change that person to something that’s not your type. Are you seeing this?

Keep your mind open to someone and something new the best hing in your life could be right under your nose. If you don’t believe me the next time your out see what your attracted to and see if that’s what got you to this miserable place in a relationship.

Finally on the most physically attracted to: I have taken three relationship classes and each one said you have to be physically attracted but if you feel I must have that person and all you do is think of sex with that person then that’s all your relationship will be. When the sex dies down so does the relationship. I fought that for a while but what Im mostly physically attracted to has ALWAYS gotten me in trouble and ended in a mess. How do you know how crazy someone is if you’re having sex with them. You can’t all you see and feel is sex. You cover up what is most important. Don’t believe try it for yourself.

This is coming from a single guy that has had his heart-broken because I listen and see the wrong things.