Day 1792 Why Divorced/single in 2018 is more devastating

20 05 2018

Good happy Sunday may evening, I’m about to have a Jr and 4th grader, The school years fly by when you get older. I thought Christmas break was just over and look here we are about to end school and start smelling like BO because of the Texas heat.  Here’s to grilling, BO, sunburns, farmers tan, peeing in the pool and chlorine/swimming pool bath.

Excuse my use of the word devastating put an end to the existence of (something) by damaging or attacking it. This is not directed at anyone and I know there is always another side to my argument. To save your breath, your right I’ll just be the other side.

The world we live in now is ruled by social media, the fake life of what we want you to see. You leave someones, page, site, profile and like OMG they are so great why can’t I measure up.

People quit at everything now. there is no perseverance ( yes  i know there is some) in relationships, people think the next one will be right. For better or worse or let me get to know this person that doesn’t happen. My friend said her boyfriend or girlfriend did this why don’t you?Well because were different and we all bring good and bad to the table.

Loyalty I wonder without looking could someone tell you the definition. could someone tell you that an emotional affair is the same as a physical.  And honesty. Just be honest tell me everything. I know your not single in today’s world because you did nothing wrong. If its only 10% tell me your 10%. A date ender for me is what did you do wrong in your relationships. if the other person says well he! I stop it right there! Why because I’m not going to date him and I don’t care what he did at this moment. Tell me about you. Throw every damn card on the table and let me choose if I want to move  forward.

There is nothing more refreshing than someone being real and telling, I screwed up this way, I know it now and I want to change it and I’m working so hard on it. Im insecure but if you will be patient with me we can get through. Im like heck yes someone who gets.

I hear people say sex has to be great and they have to be physically attractive. Absolutely but if you can’t communicate and your checking over their shoulder every time they are doing something you will fail. If you don’t trust in the beginning, do you really think your going to trust down the road? What about the night sex sucks. wouldn’t it be great to say let me explain where my head was today. It wasn’t you and you list out why it sucked. She understands, she cares more, she gets you. She becomes more emotionally attached then you feel like she respects and wow you have a fully functional relationship. Who knew!!!!

Finally nobody really wants to be married anymore! It might be the hardest thing to do in this twisted, social media world, where you’re told to run rather than stay and fight (not actually fight). I would much rather have someone that loves me more often, wants to choke me some days but will just poke me with a toothpick (in love) than date!!!!

Why are you in a relationship if you’re not going to be devoted/ married to the person forever. Really whats the point. That is a first date question. Dont lie, if that’s not your intention that’s okay but for the love of God tell them. Just be honest! I want to be married again, if someone tells me that they don’t that’s okay, doesn’t make you a bad person just means you dont fit me.

PS. Not everyone is going to like you! Not every person you date is going to feel it. Dont get your under roos in a wad, learn one thing from the date and move on. We are looking for one great person not an army!

Okay that’s enough for today! Love you

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Day 1507 Teach me how to live again.

9 04 2017

Happy April. One of the busiest months around. WE had NASCAR, baseball, Hockey, minor league baseball, basketball, 3 different festivals around DFW this weekend. It’s a great place to live and you can’t be bored but my Lord a ton of people live here now. There’s traffic everywhere I mean everywhere. Good thing I m sneaky and I know things and people so I can sneak around!

The life of a rock bottom person is a great story. Rising from the ashes, changing your story, ending curses, learning that there is the courage to keep going. You remember all the things that broke you, the moments where you look around and say I’m not worth it for some us the moment you write a letter saying I’m sorry but its time for me to live this world.  From those things you give hope, you love people, show people a new reality you show perseverance  when there wasn’t any.

I can only speak for me on this and my rock bottom story but I need someone to help me to live again. I hope for me its the person I will spend the rest of my life with. I’m sure some of you are asking what do you mean Tyler. I’m not sure I can put it in words but I’ll try. She has to be a strong-willed person, because I am. When my demons show themselves can either lift me up or smack me which ever one I need. Rock bottom people know relapse, we know when we feel God disappeared, (which he doesn’t) we know when we don’t feel worthy, or when we questions the comfortable pain we lived with so long. My book is almost finished said that now for 2.5 years someone who will say what are you doing. I want to read it, others will too. You have to start giving yourself credit Tyler. Someone that helps you believe in yourself when you have those moments you don’t Or when you find the courage and those are showing themselves that push you to get to the end.  She’s willing to take a chance because she believes in you enough and even if you fail, you didn’t fail you learned. That’s okay living on a thought like let’s go to California. Sometimes living life doesn’t have to make sense you just live it.

AS you get older you know outcomes better, when you screwed up so many things you play it safe. Safe sucks but you know the outcome if you do something not safe. So you live in a safe bubble trying not to recreate the mess you made. That’s not living. I’m not talking about drinking or drugging. I’m talking about seeing things you haven’t or doing things out of your comfort zone. She would take me by the hand and say I want to show you something. Your eyes open to the magic and beauty of the world you haven’t seen. It may sound like Hollywood but who cares. A lot of things in Hollywood are based on a true story and they make great movies.

She helps me focus, she’s optimistic, she shows a new reality.  The killer of life is routine, she’s okay breaking routine.  I know happiness and joy are internal works. I truly understand that and I need to find my joy again. I need help, I need someone to enhance me and see me faults and all as the great man I am.

My dad told me once that my mom made him see things that he just couldn’t. That she would believe when he wouldn’t that when he had an idea she supported him more than he supported himself.

If I died tomorrow and around me were all my hopes, dreams. I would have to apologize to them. My fears and doubts could pat me on the head say good try. I need that person that is  a dream catcher and a hope provider and loves me crap and all. If I’m asking too much then I’ll continue on my journey by myself because I want to live and one way or another I’m getting there.

Get busy living or get busy dying!





Day 922 When you sleep in somebody elses bed

4 08 2015

A buddy yesterday texted me and said my wife and I want to know why your single you could have your pick of women. I said: over the years a few didn’t say yes and the other reason is me.  So I picked up the phone and got real. There’s so much about me that very few know. I like it that way because that is saved for the next Mrs. Wood but there are things that people need to know so they can see the outside of the puzzle. Today in counseling it was brought up again and we addressed it. I don’t trust! Most of you that read this blog know that already but it’s what people tell me all the time that drives me crazy. I hear (you that’s a lot of people in the world) tell people just forgive and forget. Forgiveness absolutely one of the most important aspects of a healthy life but stop telling people to forget. God not one time asked us to forget. He asked us to forgive.

My 3 three longest relationships in my life I was cheated on and bad in each one. I had no idea it was happening either. I was oblivious to it because never in my wildest dreams would I cheat on someone. After it happened I was so upset with everyone except me. Then I got into well you didn’t treat women right until you got married so its your punishment. I never understand why if you’re so unhappy tell that person and walk away because never will cheating be better than just being brutally honest. We all know that its stupid to believe that its better in today’s society to be honest. I mean how hard is it to look someone in the eye and say I don’t love you anymore but its easier to say I dropped my clothes on the floor and had sex with ABC.  I never heard the person respond OMG thank you for letting me know after the fact. So where am I going with this.

Love is a decision it is not or never will it be a feeling. Once the newness of a relationship wears off and the real hits you better have two things: You better have Jesus guiding and you better know without a shadow of a doubt that I will lay my life down for this person because I just said in my vows till death do us part. It didn’t say because I had a crappy Monday and he didn’t listen, or we haven’t had sex in two months, or I’m sick of being broke. No it said til death do u part. That’s one hell of a decision but I see a lot of people I know doing it.Oh and that grass is greener on the other is BS too. They still have pee and poop on their side but you forgot to look.

I know I have to trust again because if not I will be single! I will not forget what happened. How come people never say man you need to forget that really cool thing that happened to you? Why? That would be dumb. Same as telling people to forget something bad. It’s through the bad and unfortunate things in life that make us who we are today and with that I’m slowly turning over my heart to trust again and my eyes are opening.

There are some amazing people who are loyal. Not everyone is a cheater, sure capable but hasn’t yet and probably won’t. I don’t forget because it’s through not forgetting I will find what I deserve. Remember this that a cheater gets what comes to them, it’s just the way the world works. Its our job to be graceful , understanding and open with our thoughts to show a cheater that there is life on the other side. When that person sleeps in someone elses bed and it ripped your soul out don’t take it out on the next person. Start believing that people are still good, listen to what God says about us. He didn’t make us perfect but made us good.

Sorry for the little rant and my brain puking on you, but now you know.  So if someone asks why is Tyler still single send them to this blog. Save someone a phone call! Love ya





Day 753 Im not afraid to die

18 02 2015

I made the best pot roast ever last night in the Crock Pot. If they gave out the reward for single fathers who can crock pot cook Im hands down the best. I would be famous and be on the cooking channel and have my own show called single, bald and full of crock!! Pretty catchy I know. Honestly though I’m a great cook. The end.

I love how people  open up to me. I had a conversation yesterday it was very generic at first then he asked me about how I’m so happy after divorce. I said well I’m not always happy but I’m very content in the direction of my life and the biggest thing is I’m not co-Dependent anymore. I explained co- dependency and then out of no where he said do you want to die? I said good Lord no I don’t I want to die! He said so your afraid to die? I said do you understand the difference between the two? He looked at me puzzled so I explained.

I only wanted to die once in my life  it was a rock bottom and almost in the most selfish way decided to take my life. Where I am now its the last thing I would ever want to  happen. My kids need me and want me, I have a true relationship with God and Im changing lives. I have a purpose and I know I’m loved. I never want my mom to have to bury me, I want to see where and how my sister and nephew lives go. I have some of the best friends in  my life that I want to enjoy it with. So no I do want to die it never crosses my mind but Im also Im not afraid to die.

I have seen and held death twice in my arms. Once a car wreck victim, the other a friend got shot and died on the spot. I should have died twice I was stupid and put myself in two horrible situations and in every case I was afraid to die. I prayed to God please don’t take me I have more to do. You see I thought I was in control and I was telling God what he needed to do. Im sure he just slapped his forehead and shook his head and said you really don’t get it. Im in control and I decided remember Im God not you. If you fast forward to right now!

Im not afraid to die I don’t want to die but if it happens I know this: I have made amends to all of those I have wronged, I m not about me Im about helping others and changing their life if they want it. I have given my children the foundation they need and they know I love them more than anything and I would give my life for them in a snap of a finger, My mother can be proud of the man she raised, my sister and nephew know I have and will love them and given my heart and soul to my family. Those that interact with me know that he is a loving and giving soul and I believe most not all would have encouraging words about me. Finally My God knows me and my heart. Sure I screw up and do things wrong but I wont have to get to the gates and hear what in the name of me were you doing!!  The guy looked at me and said I definitely understand now and I have a lot of work to do because I’m scared sh%tless to die. He asked me to help him get there. So I will do my best.

I m not afraid of death anymore but I don’t want to die either. I hope I’m 80 and still blogging or whatever its called then but if not I’m okay with that too. Walk on my Good and faithful son.





Day 743 Church VS Cleavage… and the winner is

8 02 2015

I miss football already. I know its been a week but I love it and  I know it misses me. I left with college basketball that nobody care about for 3 more weeks,  the NBA that I don’t care about until the playoffs, Hockey and spring training baseball. Well At least we can watch chess on ESPN late at night.

At the beginning of church today it was 70 degrees. Everybody is so happy with that, that Facebook  its full of how great the weather is updates. If you ve been to Texas you know we have the most beautiful women here. I’ve traveled a lot and I don’t think its close. With that comes women that know their gorgeous and need to show it. I will be the first to say I appreciate it. Until I get to church! Look I’m single if I see skin I’m like a little boy in the candy store. We as men are simple creatures and it doesn’t take a lot for us to spiral out of control with our sexual thoughts, but I would hope that church would be a safe haven. I walk into church this morning and I really mean the first person I see is a woman with a v neck shirt on that has cut the V and now most of all the cleavage was showing. God did bless her for sure but I was like come on already. As I’m walking in I started playing the cleavage police. I know who am I to play that part when it wasn’t assigned to me but I started counting. I’m a numbers guy what can I say ,at 20 women I stopped counting inappropriate shirts that were on. Then this is no lie there were 4 women that had their thong showing because their shirt was so short.  Please don’t tell that’s so gross you were looking. Okay really, when was the last time you saw someone in a wheelchair, a car wreck or someone on crutches and didn’t stare. I’m a man and I looked but I couldn’t believe it.

I have enough problems with temptation but I should expect that at least at church you could cover yourself up for an 1.5 hour.  Your self-esteem may suck but when you dress like that anywhere you know that you’re looking to get guys to look at you. Guess what and we do and it will never be the look that your striving for. These were married and single women. I’m sorry you think that even in church that you have no worth but you do and it’s not in the assets God gave you. Wear a scarf, a coat or hell go by a Sunday T-shirt that says I love Jesus but cover up. Every person that walks into a church is struggling with something and the last thing we need are boobs staring at us.

So guess who sits the aisle over from me. The first lady I saw when I got to church. I tried not to stare but I suck at not staring.  If any man tells you that he wasn’t looking is a liar sometimes the assets are so good that your eyes have a mind of their own.Get this, when we get up to leave she actually tells her husband did I have something on my face because people were staring at me. That’s when I wish  Staples invented the slap button because I would have pushed the button and told her to wake up.

We men will objectify you and I’m sorry but if you wear clothes like that you are not helping especially in church. God loves you no matter what you look like but if  what you want is stares and men like that then good luck. There’s something to be said for what someone doesn’t know is good for them, in this case if only your man or potential man knows what you look like that a plus for both of you. If I need to see assets I can go to Hooters, Twin peaks, etc…  not church. Help me help you and all other man. Cover up in church please I’m trying to ask for my sins to be forgiven not create a bunch more sins sitting there.

THE WINNER IN THE FIRST ROUND KNOCKOUT CLEAVAGE!!!!!! Ding Ding

 





Day 731 Drunk enough to feel

28 01 2015

80 Degrees in Texas in January. Yep its the joys of being a Texan. Saturday we will need a coat but today sun tan lotion. The top of my head looks better with a tan anyway.

I don’t drink a lot anymore. I might drink twice a month. I’m pretty comfortable with who I am and don’t need to escape or have liquid courage to accomplish a night of fun but.. Saturday night was a different story. I went  to my aunts wedding reception and saw family I hadn’t seen in a while. I wasn’t going to go but my mom asked and I wanted to support my aunt. I kept looking at my watch  hoping the time would pass quicker but like all time it doesn’t pass when you want it to. I couldn’t stand the questions of when are you going to have a girlfriend, do you want to get remarried, just the long list of questions you get when you older and single.

I went and hung out with one of my buddies and had about a 45 minute drive there. I have demons and I kick their ass most days. The one demon that gets me the most is loneliness. AS I made the drive my mind wander over to the wrong lane and started feeling sorry for myself. I wanted to escape my mind for a bit but didn’t know what to do. I meet up with my buddy in this hole in the place. I enjoyed his company but my mind wouldn’t stop. Two drinks lead to 2 shots and you know how it goes. In my past i could get drunk enough not to feel anything which is where I was going I hoped. This time though I only got to the point I could feel things I didn’t want to. I felt my loneliness, my fear and my lack of faith in God in many things. I wanted for just a little while to get my mind to stop because I didn’t believe God could do it for me at that time.

I’m sure you’re wondering why is he telling us this! I’m not going to apologize  for being human but I am sorry for not following my own advice. People always say man you got it together. Sure if you want to believe that you can but Im just like you. I just have different convictions  than before so I can bounce back a little quicker. If you take your focus on God, isolate yourself and believe you can figure it all out you could be in a horrible place that you thought left a long time ago. I made it home but before I did I stopped on a pretty dark empty place on 35 in Ponder Texas got out of the car and screamed at the top of my lungs. Ironic thing its the same place when I was 20 years old I woke up so drunk I busted through the fence and had passed out. After screaming like I was in a Hollywood horror flick I need to remember that spot from almost 20 years earlier and thanked God for bringing me to where I was now. It’s funny how if you need a reminder God can always show you something you don’t want but need to see.

I write this for me to go back read and remember but for you too. You are okay and you’re not alone.You are not your past, the feelings you have do not justify you and if you fall of the horse get back up. Love you!





Day 731 Drunk enough to feel

27 01 2015

80 Degrees in Texas in January. Yep its the joys of being a Texan. Saturday we will need a coat but today sun tan lotion. The top of my head looks better with a tan anyway.

I don’t drink a lot anymore. I might drink twice a month. I’m pretty comfortable with who I am and don’t need to escape or have liquid courage to accomplish a night of fun but.. Saturday night was a different story. I went  to my aunts wedding reception and saw family I hadn’t seen in a while. I wasn’t going to go but my mom asked and I wanted to support my aunt. I kept looking at my watch  hoping the time would pass quicker but like all time it doesn’t pass when you want it to. I couldn’t stand the questions of when are you going to have a girlfriend, do you want to get remarried, just the long list of questions you get when you older and single.

I went and hung out with one of my buddies and had about a 45 minute drive there. I have demons and I kick their ass most days. The one demon that gets me the most is loneliness. AS I made the drive my mind wander over to the wrong lane and started feeling sorry for myself. I wanted to escape my mind for a bit but didn’t know what to do. I meet up with my buddy in this hole in the place. I enjoyed his company but my mind wouldn’t stop. Two drinks lead to 2 shots and you know how it goes. In my past i could get drunk enough not to feel anything which is where I was going I hoped. This time though I only got to the point I could feel things I didn’t want to. I felt my loneliness, my fear and my lack of faith in God in many things. I wanted for just a little while to get my mind to stop because I didn’t believe God could do it for me at that time.

I’m sure you’re wondering why is he telling us this! I’m not going to apologize  for being human but I am sorry for not following my own advice. People always say man you got it together. Sure if you want to believe that you can but Im just like you. I just have different convictions  than before so I can bounce back a little quicker. If you take your focus on God, isolate yourself and believe you can figure it all out you could be in a horrible place that you thought left a long time ago. I made it home but before I did I stopped on a pretty dark empty place on 35 in Ponder Texas got out of the car and screamed at the top of my lungs. Ironic thing its the same place when I was 20 years old I woke up so drunk I busted through the fence and had passed out. After screaming like I was in a Hollywood horror flick I need to remember that spot from almost 20 years earlier and thanked God for bringing me to where I was now. It’s funny how if you need a reminder God can always show you something you don’t want but need to see.

I write this for me to go back read and remember but for you too. You are okay and you’re not alone.You are not your past, the feelings you have do not justify you and if you fall of the horse get back up. Love you!








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