Day 1361 You cant see it

9 11 2016

The election is over and we survived. I think most people did. I wish people cared about their own lives as much as they care about things they have no control over. It’s a lesson we as a people may never understand or follow. In my short 41 years I see people fighting over politics trying to change someone else’s mind but they will continue to go to a job everyday they hate and they have control over it.

If I had my life to live over again I wouldn’t need to see it. I would just do it.  What are you talking about Tyler? We resist change because we have to see the whole staircase put together but until we do life stays the same. We wake up unhappy, stay in turbulent times, continue making the same mistakes, not wanting to deal with pain of rejection, failure, criticize  , losing, defeat, not being liked etc.  So we duck the pain popping up to see if the staircase is complete then we think we will walk right over and take the world by the private parts. Martin Luther King said that faith is taking the first step without seeing the whole staircase. Think about how many things in life you didn’t do because you didn’t the end of the road or top of the staircase. Life is about pain you can’t hide from it. So we think lets not take the step and therefore I don’t get hurt. That’s such a lie because of the regret of life is the hardest to cope with and it never is forgotten.

Most us go through life trying to pretend it okay when it’s not. Hoping we please someone else that can’t please themselves. Rather than saying I listened to them long enough and I know what I’ve already lost and now I’m going to do what is best for me. There is a quote not sure who from but it goes something like this: Courage is what feels most right for you! Cowards die many times before their deaths. The valiant never taste death but once. Meaning they taste the fear but move forward.

Please today take the leap of faith, build the staircase one step at a time, start putting the puzzle together. You already know what its like to live in pain and fear and all we’ve done is created more fear and deep seeded pain. Where our lives are right now is just now they can be so much better. Think about the mistakes we’ve made, the destruction we created and look how far we have come. Since tomorrow isn’t promised now is a great time to start. Love you!





Day 743 Church VS Cleavage… and the winner is

8 02 2015

I miss football already. I know its been a week but I love it and  I know it misses me. I left with college basketball that nobody care about for 3 more weeks,  the NBA that I don’t care about until the playoffs, Hockey and spring training baseball. Well At least we can watch chess on ESPN late at night.

At the beginning of church today it was 70 degrees. Everybody is so happy with that, that Facebook  its full of how great the weather is updates. If you ve been to Texas you know we have the most beautiful women here. I’ve traveled a lot and I don’t think its close. With that comes women that know their gorgeous and need to show it. I will be the first to say I appreciate it. Until I get to church! Look I’m single if I see skin I’m like a little boy in the candy store. We as men are simple creatures and it doesn’t take a lot for us to spiral out of control with our sexual thoughts, but I would hope that church would be a safe haven. I walk into church this morning and I really mean the first person I see is a woman with a v neck shirt on that has cut the V and now most of all the cleavage was showing. God did bless her for sure but I was like come on already. As I’m walking in I started playing the cleavage police. I know who am I to play that part when it wasn’t assigned to me but I started counting. I’m a numbers guy what can I say ,at 20 women I stopped counting inappropriate shirts that were on. Then this is no lie there were 4 women that had their thong showing because their shirt was so short.  Please don’t tell that’s so gross you were looking. Okay really, when was the last time you saw someone in a wheelchair, a car wreck or someone on crutches and didn’t stare. I’m a man and I looked but I couldn’t believe it.

I have enough problems with temptation but I should expect that at least at church you could cover yourself up for an 1.5 hour.  Your self-esteem may suck but when you dress like that anywhere you know that you’re looking to get guys to look at you. Guess what and we do and it will never be the look that your striving for. These were married and single women. I’m sorry you think that even in church that you have no worth but you do and it’s not in the assets God gave you. Wear a scarf, a coat or hell go by a Sunday T-shirt that says I love Jesus but cover up. Every person that walks into a church is struggling with something and the last thing we need are boobs staring at us.

So guess who sits the aisle over from me. The first lady I saw when I got to church. I tried not to stare but I suck at not staring.  If any man tells you that he wasn’t looking is a liar sometimes the assets are so good that your eyes have a mind of their own.Get this, when we get up to leave she actually tells her husband did I have something on my face because people were staring at me. That’s when I wish  Staples invented the slap button because I would have pushed the button and told her to wake up.

We men will objectify you and I’m sorry but if you wear clothes like that you are not helping especially in church. God loves you no matter what you look like but if  what you want is stares and men like that then good luck. There’s something to be said for what someone doesn’t know is good for them, in this case if only your man or potential man knows what you look like that a plus for both of you. If I need to see assets I can go to Hooters, Twin peaks, etc…  not church. Help me help you and all other man. Cover up in church please I’m trying to ask for my sins to be forgiven not create a bunch more sins sitting there.

THE WINNER IN THE FIRST ROUND KNOCKOUT CLEAVAGE!!!!!! Ding Ding

 





Day 403 I love women with low self-esteem

17 02 2014

If you have never been to West Texas you need to go just to say  you have been but don’t stop in Midland. I have been there 6 times and stayed there each time. Yesterday we drove 5.5 hrs there to play Rugby and we won 55-14, and the same to drive back. There is nothing there except a booming oil and gas business, dust, tumble  weeds and stickers. The dust was so bad yesterday when we had a water break I felt like I was making mud in mouth. First the first time since 2007 I play the full 80 minutes and lets just say my body is beyond pissed today but it was fun! I also had my kids stay with my mom and sister for some great family time there. For me it’s so important that get that time.

When I hear men talk about women it drives me insane mostly because Im trying everyday to be a man who my daughter can learn and follow,  women would be glad to know, be thankful that their daughter was dating me and that the person I was dating would say this is the best decision I have ever made. It wasn’t always like that though and for a long time I didn’t even know. During my 5.5 car ride I listened to Comedy Central radio and heard at least twice about thank God girls have daddy issues and if women had a good self-esteem they would never had gotten laid. Guess what ” THAT’S NOT FUNNY” I was a guy who picked  up women that had a low self-esteem because I knew what to say at the right time, because that’s what i wanted to hear. I knew if someone paid me a compliment, told me they loved me I would have fallen head over heals too. I have actually said in my past I love women with a low self-esteem, and now that my path has changed I can’t apologize  enough for my sickening behavior. I was hurt too which is no excuse so I took advantage of my crappy feelings and used them on someone else. Said part it was easy! These are not conscious thoughts by women but this is what they portray a lot of the times and if you don’t believe ask men: Most girls have done nothing to deserve self-esteem, Insecurity is integral to femininity, Women don’t want to have high self-esteem. Not saying every women but many do and don’t even know there doing it.

If I sat writing this saying I hadn’t been ripped apart, lied to, had shots at my self-esteem, cried, brought to my knees about women, but never did some other women deserve what I dished out. My mom taught me better and now finally Im listening.  Since my divorce I have had some great women that either I dated or friends with that taught me so much about women and what they are really looking for and can go back further that I may not be walking this earth of it wasn’t for a few women that helped me to see myself in a different light and built up my spirit, and soul. From that

Our greatest joy comes from deeply loving others, male or female, gay or straight, short or tall, fat or skinny. It’s about seeing someone as exactly who they are and who they aren’t, and learning to love an imperfect person perfectly. Light comes from being vulnerable with people, by trusting in the goodness of their hearts, and by giving yourself to your family, your friends, and to your significant other. Life is not a male vs. female issue. It is in fact a person to person collaboration. I think we have lost sight of that. We have lost sight of the fact that our material world is special because it is filled with unique individuals who all have the capacity to love one another deeply and to shine light in places of darkness.I’m no fool, I know that there are people in the world that do terrible things to others and hurt people deeply. However, we can’t make generalizations about an entire gender or  anyone else for that matter because we happened to have certain events occur throughout our lifetime. Our life is not the life of others. If we continue to focus on what makes us different we will never be able to relate to each other. The exact same event will never happen in the exact same way to two people…ever. However, if we decide that it is more important to feel empathetic towards others and to connect with them on an emotional level, that is where the true magic happens. That is how relationships are built, walls are broken down, and love infectiously spreads into the deepest darkest cracks of this earth. (Thank you Evan Sanders Better Man project)

I can still pick out the girl who has a crappy self-esteem but I try to build up and not take. I try to be an example and offer words of encouragement. I know now that my future spouse with struggle with self esteem but knows that her happiness in her self-will come from God and herself  and Im only there to enhance it not be it. If you’re a guy preying on that girl I’m watching you and if you accidentally get tripped and hit your head Im sorry but lesson learned! lol





Day 403 I love women with low self-esteem

17 02 2014

If you have never been to West Texas you need to go just to say  you have been but don’t stop in Midland. I have been there 6 times and stayed there each time. Yesterday we drove 5.5 hrs there to play Rugby and we won 55-14, and the same to drive back. There is nothing there except a booming oil and gas business, dust, tumble  weeds and stickers. The dust was so bad yesterday when we had a water break I felt like I was making mud in mouth. First the first time since 2007 I play the full 80 minutes and lets just say my body is beyond pissed today but it was fun! I also had my kids stay with my mom and sister for some great family time there. For me it’s so important that get that time.

When I hear men talk about women it drives me insane mostly because Im trying everyday to be a man who my daughter can learn and follow,  women would be glad to know, be thankful that their daughter was dating me and that the person I was dating would say this is the best decision I have ever made. It wasn’t always like that though and for a long time I didn’t even know. During my 5.5 car ride I listened to Comedy Central radio and heard at least twice about thank God girls have daddy issues and if women had a good self-esteem they would never had gotten laid. Guess what ” THAT’S NOT FUNNY” I was a guy who picked  up women that had a low self-esteem because I knew what to say at the right time, because that’s what i wanted to hear. I knew if someone paid me a compliment, told me they loved me I would have fallen head over heals too. I have actually said in my past I love women with a low self-esteem, and now that my path has changed I can’t apologize  enough for my sickening behavior. I was hurt too which is no excuse so I took advantage of my crappy feelings and used them on someone else. Said part it was easy! These are not conscious thoughts by women but this is what they portray a lot of the times and if you don’t believe ask men: Most girls have done nothing to deserve self-esteem, Insecurity is integral to femininity, Women don’t want to have high self-esteem. Not saying every women but many do and don’t even know there doing it.

If I sat writing this saying I hadn’t been ripped apart, lied to, had shots at my self-esteem, cried, brought to my knees about women, but never did some other women deserve what I dished out. My mom taught me better and now finally Im listening.  Since my divorce I have had some great women that either I dated or friends with that taught me so much about women and what they are really looking for and can go back further that I may not be walking this earth of it wasn’t for a few women that helped me to see myself in a different light and built up my spirit, and soul. From that

Our greatest joy comes from deeply loving others, male or female, gay or straight, short or tall, fat or skinny. It’s about seeing someone as exactly who they are and who they aren’t, and learning to love an imperfect person perfectly. Light comes from being vulnerable with people, by trusting in the goodness of their hearts, and by giving yourself to your family, your friends, and to your significant other. Life is not a male vs. female issue. It is in fact a person to person collaboration. I think we have lost sight of that. We have lost sight of the fact that our material world is special because it is filled with unique individuals who all have the capacity to love one another deeply and to shine light in places of darkness.I’m no fool, I know that there are people in the world that do terrible things to others and hurt people deeply. However, we can’t make generalizations about an entire gender or  anyone else for that matter because we happened to have certain events occur throughout our lifetime. Our life is not the life of others. If we continue to focus on what makes us different we will never be able to relate to each other. The exact same event will never happen in the exact same way to two people…ever. However, if we decide that it is more important to feel empathetic towards others and to connect with them on an emotional level, that is where the true magic happens. That is how relationships are built, walls are broken down, and love infectiously spreads into the deepest darkest cracks of this earth. (Thank you Evan Sanders Better Man project)

I can still pick out the girl who has a crappy self-esteem but I try to build up and not take. I try to be an example and offer words of encouragement. I know now that my future spouse with struggle with self esteem but knows that her happiness in her self-will come from God and herself  and Im only there to enhance it not be it. If you’re a guy preying on that girl I’m watching you and if you accidentally get tripped and hit your head Im sorry but lesson learned! lol





Day 403 I love women with low self-esteem

16 02 2014

If you have never been to West Texas you need to go just to say  you have been but don’t stop in Midland. I have been there 6 times and stayed there each time. Yesterday we drove 5.5 hrs there to play Rugby and we won 55-14, and the same to drive back. There is nothing there except a booming oil and gas business, dust, tumble  weeds and stickers. The dust was so bad yesterday when we had a water break I felt like I was making mud in mouth. First the first time since 2007 I play the full 80 minutes and lets just say my body is beyond pissed today but it was fun! I also had my kids stay with my mom and sister for some great family time there. For me it’s so important that get that time.

When I hear men talk about women it drives me insane mostly because Im trying everyday to be a man who my daughter can learn and follow,  women would be glad to know, be thankful that their daughter was dating me and that the person I was dating would say this is the best decision I have ever made. It wasn’t always like that though and for a long time I didn’t even know. During my 5.5 car ride I listened to Comedy Central radio and heard at least twice about thank God girls have daddy issues and if women had a good self-esteem they would never had gotten laid. Guess what ” THAT’S NOT FUNNY” I was a guy who picked  up women that had a low self-esteem because I knew what to say at the right time, because that’s what i wanted to hear. I knew if someone paid me a compliment, told me they loved me I would have fallen head over heals too. I have actually said in my past I love women with a low self-esteem, and now that my path has changed I can’t apologize  enough for my sickening behavior. I was hurt too which is no excuse so I took advantage of my crappy feelings and used them on someone else. Said part it was easy! These are not conscious thoughts by women but this is what they portray a lot of the times and if you don’t believe ask men: Most girls have done nothing to deserve self-esteem, Insecurity is integral to femininity, Women don’t want to have high self-esteem. Not saying every women but many do and don’t even know there doing it.

If I sat writing this saying I hadn’t been ripped apart, lied to, had shots at my self-esteem, cried, brought to my knees about women, but never did some other women deserve what I dished out. My mom taught me better and now finally Im listening.  Since my divorce I have had some great women that either I dated or friends with that taught me so much about women and what they are really looking for and can go back further that I may not be walking this earth of it wasn’t for a few women that helped me to see myself in a different light and built up my spirit, and soul. From that

Our greatest joy comes from deeply loving others, male or female, gay or straight, short or tall, fat or skinny. It’s about seeing someone as exactly who they are and who they aren’t, and learning to love an imperfect person perfectly. Light comes from being vulnerable with people, by trusting in the goodness of their hearts, and by giving yourself to your family, your friends, and to your significant other. Life is not a male vs. female issue. It is in fact a person to person collaboration. I think we have lost sight of that. We have lost sight of the fact that our material world is special because it is filled with unique individuals who all have the capacity to love one another deeply and to shine light in places of darkness.I’m no fool, I know that there are people in the world that do terrible things to others and hurt people deeply. However, we can’t make generalizations about an entire gender or  anyone else for that matter because we happened to have certain events occur throughout our lifetime. Our life is not the life of others. If we continue to focus on what makes us different we will never be able to relate to each other. The exact same event will never happen in the exact same way to two people…ever. However, if we decide that it is more important to feel empathetic towards others and to connect with them on an emotional level, that is where the true magic happens. That is how relationships are built, walls are broken down, and love infectiously spreads into the deepest darkest cracks of this earth. (Thank you Evan Sanders Better Man project)

I can still pick out the girl who has a crappy self-esteem but I try to build up and not take. I try to be an example and offer words of encouragement. I know now that my future spouse with struggle with self esteem but knows that her happiness in her self-will come from God and herself  and Im only there to enhance it not be it. If you’re a guy preying on that girl I’m watching you and if you accidentally get tripped and hit your head Im sorry but lesson learned! lol





Day 314 My losses really don’t mean crap

20 11 2013

A great weekend because it was a Rugby weekend! We played our first game that counted and won 49-9. I got to play 35 minutes and I played well and feel “okay” I love the sport and looking forward to this year I think we are really good!

IF your single and reading this I know the holiday season is tough and lonely but please surround yourself with people who you love and love you! Don’t sit around and be by yourself. Enjoy the season its our holiday too! I read a lot of other blogs about being single during the holidays which I will share. Just keep working to a happy holiday.

Have your ever not been able to shake your losses.I was told today that you have done a great job getting to the point of where you have overcome but you have to change your focus because really your losses don’t matter anymore. They shaped who you are but that crap is over now! If you want true positive change you have to do what the great Socrates said!

Socrates

To be honest I suck at it! I have overcome a lot but I have stopped building the new. I have no idea why maybe fear, anxiety, worth, acceptance not sure but it has to start now or I will look up and 10 years from now being doing the exact same thing!

 

So today I hear this from a friend of mine and then I read this from Evan Sanders: The Bettermanprojects! He said exactly what I needed to. I have heard it twice so now I need to get off my arse!

Responsibility

What truly changed my entire life was realizing that I was indeed responsible for my own life. Of course there will be things in life that are completely out of your control. You have no ability to see them coming and when they happen they completely pull the rug out from under you. Were things truly turned around for me was when I realized that I had the power to act…not react. Action: the difference between movement and progress. I can tell you, there were moments that I thought I really wasn’t going to make it out. I would say to myself, “I don’t foresee any possible solution to this. How is this going to turn around.” Well it did…but that only came with the realization that taking responsibility for my own life was the only answer. The only way I could get myself into a better position was to create it. The only way to get to where I wanted to go was to build a foundation based off of my pride and determination. It’s in that moment when you bet on yourself when the script is flipped. Tighten your belt and string up your boots.

I’m going to give you an analogy.

And here comes another baseball analogy. When you are reacting to life…you are standing at the plate, bat on your shoulder, watching the balls and strikes come in…and waiting to be walked or struck out. You don’t swing…you just let the pitcher determine whether or not you are going to be successful that game. You are just watching and your reaction will be whatever the pitcher decides its going to be. However, when you are in action, you are sitting on your pitch and adjusting your strategy as the at bat moves along. You are waiting for your moment, hands ready, and when that pitch comes you try to make the best contact you can.

Life works in a very similar way. If you wait for your pitch, and you are prepared to hit it, you increase your chances of doing something great. But if you sit around and wait for things to happen, that is exactly what you are going to get: a lot of sitting around. I believe that whatever may be above us is watching to see what we do with what we have been given…what we can create…what we can make with our minds and our hands. Because those are the two greatest tools that we will ever have. We have the infinite capacity to either love or hate. We have the ability to send out incredible amounts of positive energy into this world…or choose to darken it…to dim the lights…to spread pain.

Life becomes a series of actions then…and with every action there is a result. When you choose to text someone and tell them that you miss them and that you care about them…you are doing out of love. When you choose to help someone in need, or pick someone up when they are down, you are making a choice…a positive choice. And that love and those choices have a ripple effect on the rest of the world. If we can all make those positive choices, starting with taking responsibility for our own lives and the things we decide to do – that is when this ship is going to truly set sail for a better place.

I choose, and I hope you will join me, to spread love every single day. I chose this path because that is what was done for me and brought me out of the worst. If you make that choice…you will become infectious – and for the best reason in the world: love.

– Evan Sanders

 





Day 314 My losses really don’t mean crap

19 11 2013

A great weekend because it was a Rugby weekend! We played our first game that counted and won 49-9. I got to play 35 minutes and I played well and feel “okay” I love the sport and looking forward to this year I think we are really good!

IF your single and reading this I know the holiday season is tough and lonely but please surround yourself with people who you love and love you! Don’t sit around and be by yourself. Enjoy the season its our holiday too! I read a lot of other blogs about being single during the holidays which I will share. Just keep working to a happy holiday.

Have your ever not been able to shake your losses.I was told today that you have done a great job getting to the point of where you have overcome but you have to change your focus because really your losses don’t matter anymore. They shaped who you are but that crap is over now! If you want true positive change you have to do what the great Socrates said!

Socrates

To be honest I suck at it! I have overcome a lot but I have stopped building the new. I have no idea why maybe fear, anxiety, worth, acceptance not sure but it has to start now or I will look up and 10 years from now being doing the exact same thing!

 

So today I hear this from a friend of mine and then I read this from Evan Sanders: The Bettermanprojects! He said exactly what I needed to. I have heard it twice so now I need to get off my arse!

Responsibility

What truly changed my entire life was realizing that I was indeed responsible for my own life. Of course there will be things in life that are completely out of your control. You have no ability to see them coming and when they happen they completely pull the rug out from under you. Were things truly turned around for me was when I realized that I had the power to act…not react. Action: the difference between movement and progress. I can tell you, there were moments that I thought I really wasn’t going to make it out. I would say to myself, “I don’t foresee any possible solution to this. How is this going to turn around.” Well it did…but that only came with the realization that taking responsibility for my own life was the only answer. The only way I could get myself into a better position was to create it. The only way to get to where I wanted to go was to build a foundation based off of my pride and determination. It’s in that moment when you bet on yourself when the script is flipped. Tighten your belt and string up your boots.

I’m going to give you an analogy.

And here comes another baseball analogy. When you are reacting to life…you are standing at the plate, bat on your shoulder, watching the balls and strikes come in…and waiting to be walked or struck out. You don’t swing…you just let the pitcher determine whether or not you are going to be successful that game. You are just watching and your reaction will be whatever the pitcher decides its going to be. However, when you are in action, you are sitting on your pitch and adjusting your strategy as the at bat moves along. You are waiting for your moment, hands ready, and when that pitch comes you try to make the best contact you can.

Life works in a very similar way. If you wait for your pitch, and you are prepared to hit it, you increase your chances of doing something great. But if you sit around and wait for things to happen, that is exactly what you are going to get: a lot of sitting around. I believe that whatever may be above us is watching to see what we do with what we have been given…what we can create…what we can make with our minds and our hands. Because those are the two greatest tools that we will ever have. We have the infinite capacity to either love or hate. We have the ability to send out incredible amounts of positive energy into this world…or choose to darken it…to dim the lights…to spread pain.

Life becomes a series of actions then…and with every action there is a result. When you choose to text someone and tell them that you miss them and that you care about them…you are doing out of love. When you choose to help someone in need, or pick someone up when they are down, you are making a choice…a positive choice. And that love and those choices have a ripple effect on the rest of the world. If we can all make those positive choices, starting with taking responsibility for our own lives and the things we decide to do – that is when this ship is going to truly set sail for a better place.

I choose, and I hope you will join me, to spread love every single day. I chose this path because that is what was done for me and brought me out of the worst. If you make that choice…you will become infectious – and for the best reason in the world: love.

– Evan Sanders

 








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