Day 1615 Lets get naked

6 08 2017

First I want to thank you all for reading this blog. It’s so cool that people all over the world can read this. Looking at all the countries I wonder if I weird in foreign countries too.

Second I get a lot what does the day in your title mean. Well in this case 1615 days ago I started a car trip to Virginia by myself. to see one of my closet friends. I prayed and promised myself that my life would change for the better starting that day and would never be the same. So here we are 1615 days later. Its been one hell of a roller coaster but its been a blast.

I hope the title got you to read! I have been the physical naked more times that you want to hear. It was the only way I knew to love for the longest time or feel I was important. I hurt so many women over the years. It wasn’t purposeful just thought being naked meant I was enough. So shirt off,pants off and you liked me.

I hope for most of us with age comes wisdom, if not you hit your rock bottom and I promise you get wiser or you get buried.  I learned that not only does my value not coming from being physically naked but you want someone to love, like, or respect you: LETS GET REALLY NAKED. I hate small talk every bit of it, I could care less what’s up! I’m going to give or get a generic answer anyway so why I ask. The naked I want is the soul bearing, tear filled, biggest smile type of naked, clothes on or off I don’t care. I want to talk about: death, aliens, birthdays cake, what makes you cry, why you became insecure, why you fake it, music, the meaning of life,  the lies you live, your favorite smells, the quirks that nobody knows because you feel you’ll be judged, your childhood, your first crush, why you watch the ceiling fan spin at night, why does asparagus make your pee smell so bad, why you don’t like peanuts but love peanut butter. I want to know your emotions, what your depth is. Why you’re twisted.  I learned not to judge but question. When you know someone who is  feeling that,  that feeling only comes from God. if you know me and say you’re the weirdest person I know but I love your soul. Mission accomplished!

Don’t get me wrong I love the physical naked but learning what it takes to be real makes relationships powerful. I know you can’t get naked with everyone because most wont get it and that’s okay. So to me from you let’s get naked. Real is exposing your soul and not giving a damn! I’m ready for the real naked time!!

Thanks for reading

 

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Day 913 All his strings broke

26 07 2015

You have those moments when parenting when you hear something that you didn’t know you would.  Before I get my kids back, I get nervous because I want to be a super dad but also please don’t let me mess up but every time I do which is okay and because of that this made my day: We were bringing all the their stuff inside from their moms and my son says: Daddy I want to be just like you, I want to be cool and funny like  you, have your cool haircut, get into a car accident and get out okay but most daddy I want to love you the way you love me and sister. I stopped in my tracks and I told him lets please not do the car wreck thing okay, but that means so much to me. I asked him to go inside I’ll be there in a second. I just cried there in the parking lot. Knowing my 6-year-old had those thoughts of me let me know no matter how many times I think I’m blowing it he doesn’t see me the way I see myself. I walked around with a little bigger chest than normal on Friday.

Since Thursday I received 3 phone calls from folks about I think I want to commit suicide. Side note: You want to serve God believe me he will give you ample opportunity. Most of the time people have had the talk with themselves but they truly don’t want to kill themselves they just want to know if their okay, if there going to be okay and what to do next. Ive learned what to say but mostly they are lonely and want to talk. Every time I hang up the phone I remember the day I was ready to end it all and better the world without me that takes me to last night. I went and saw Paper Towns and in the first 5 minutes of character development the two main charters are riding their bikes as young kids and there is a man who shot and killed himself. She goes up to the man and says it’s so sad. It later tells in the story he was a 36-year-old man who was getting a divorce and he couldn’t stand the burden or failure ( me). so he killed himself. She then looks at the other character and says all his strings broke. I was stunned because those are the words I had been searching for since that August day to explain how I felt.

If you have ever seen a piano or guitar with every string busted it’s a mess. Your thoughts are throw it away and start over. I felt at that moment in 2011 all of my strings were broke and its time to throw it away but with no starting over. When all your strings are broke there is no God at that moment, you see every mistake you, made worse than it really was, every emotion is sad and depressing, and every person you want to love you only sees you as a pathetic, nobody that will never change. We all know that is a truly a lie from the pits of hell but I promise if you’ve never been there its true and is only justified by the people who called me this week reaching out for help. It’s funny how blogs come together for me because Thursday since I’m a big strong guy people think I like helping them move heavy things. I’m always first on the list for some reason.  My buddy asked if I could come help move his piano from the living to the garage because he couldn’t fix all the strings and he was sending it out to get a remodel a guess. When we got it into the garage I lifted the lid about half the strings were busted and rolled up and the other strings were perfect. I asked him why he didn’t finish he just said he wasn’t good at it but they looked okay but sounded horrible. Then comes the movie. To see the strings that were all busted up and rolled up into ball or just hanging there looking worthless that was my life almost 4 years ago. To see what I used to think of myself but to see the other strings my buddy fixed that were in place, looked pretty good, but maybe didn’t sound perfect that is who Tyler Wood is now. Busted, bruised, rolled into a ball and supposedly worthless, have turned into a string that could be used, and when tuned properly make a beautiful sound when all the strings are finished the piano will probably sound better, work better and be used in a way it never would have. I finally found a metaphor that works for me and I have no idea how to play the piano but I know when its working and sounds good. I beg of you to let the brokeness of your life be found in a string of something for you. God did not make mistakes, you maybe lost right now, you might feel worthless, at your rock bottom, you may feel nothing is working out at all, but all your strings are not broken, they just need to be handed over to God for a little adjustment.





Day 619 It’s time to write that book

7 10 2014

Parenting is hard and some days you pray that someone would hand you a manual and say do it this way. I promise it will work. We all know it doesn’t work that but we wish. We usually focus on what our kids don’t do right rather than what they do. We beat ourselves up so much as parents and we never look and say you know I’m or we are doing a good job. Yesterday we attended our first Parent/teacher conference for my son Brayden. This is his first year in school so I was very interested in what she had to say. She said he was a good reader, and good at math etc.. Said he was very bright. She then said he is by far the nicest kid in my class. Said everyday when they go to recess he waits and sees which kid doesn’t have anyone to play with and goes and plays with that kid. I almost didn’t hear what she said and when I was walking out I said did you say everyday that he does that about playing with the kids. She said everyday I’m out there he does. I wiped a tear from my eye as I walked back to my car. I got in my car and cried. I knew he was a caring little boy but I didn’t know he would even know to do that. At football practice last night I got down to eye level and told him how proud I was of him and what the teacher said. I then asked him why he did that for the kids and without missing a beat he said ” You tell me every morning to be good to my friends and I don’t want them to be sad or cry at recess and I can play with anyone”. Im truly a lucky man to have the two kids God gave me.

Sometimes in life we think to hear from God we have to hear the deep Charleston Heston voice saying Tyler you need to do the ABC. It never works that way. It usually happens in quiet time, a song or people put in our lives for a reason. Sometimes that person is close or a stranger. I have always wanted to write a book mostly so I could be famous. God changed my life and I kind of put that on back burner. It still rings in my head every once in a while. Since I started writing my blog somebody will pop in and say you should write a book. I always ask why they think that I get because I would read, people need it, it’s a heck of a story your life, I want to know the details that aren’t in your blog. So I talked about to a few people lately and then I say do you think really people would read it, I doubt myself and said maybe one day. Last night I’m just watching practice lady comes  up to me and says your that big guy that writes that blog. She said that lady over there said to read it and I read 10 of them over the weekend. I said I hope you enjoyed them.  She said enjoy was one word but wow is what came to mind. She said I have never heard a man be so open, vulnerable, logical, and do it through the pain that you have gone through and now your here. Have you ever thought about writing a book. I chuckled and said yeah and you’re helping me make sure I do. I asked her why should I and  she said: You can change lives, people need to hear your story, women need to hear your honesty, you give me hope and you can change a generation of men if you choose to do so. I gave her a hug and told her thank you and she made me promise not to stop writing. So with that its time I write the book and fill in some details . I know at least 12 people who will read it so that’s a good start. So say some prayers that I get the direction and the door will open so I can find out how to do it. In the meantime save your money so you can buy one lol. For those that have encouraged me to this point to write the book thank you and I know Im stubborn but I heard you.





Day 619 It’s time to write that book

7 10 2014

Parenting is hard and some days you pray that someone would hand you a manual and say do it this way. I promise it will work. We all know it doesn’t work that but we wish. We usually focus on what our kids don’t do right rather than what they do. We beat ourselves up so much as parents and we never look and say you know I’m or we are doing a good job. Yesterday we attended our first Parent/teacher conference for my son Brayden. This is his first year in school so I was very interested in what she had to say. She said he was a good reader, and good at math etc.. Said he was very bright. She then said he is by far the nicest kid in my class. Said everyday when they go to recess he waits and sees which kid doesn’t have anyone to play with and goes and plays with that kid. I almost didn’t hear what she said and when I was walking out I said did you say everyday that he does that about playing with the kids. She said everyday I’m out there he does. I wiped a tear from my eye as I walked back to my car. I got in my car and cried. I knew he was a caring little boy but I didn’t know he would even know to do that. At football practice last night I got down to eye level and told him how proud I was of him and what the teacher said. I then asked him why he did that for the kids and without missing a beat he said ” You tell me every morning to be good to my friends and I don’t want them to be sad or cry at recess and I can play with anyone”. Im truly a lucky man to have the two kids God gave me.

Sometimes in life we think to hear from God we have to hear the deep Charleston Heston voice saying Tyler you need to do the ABC. It never works that way. It usually happens in quiet time, a song or people put in our lives for a reason. Sometimes that person is close or a stranger. I have always wanted to write a book mostly so I could be famous. God changed my life and I kind of put that on back burner. It still rings in my head every once in a while. Since I started writing my blog somebody will pop in and say you should write a book. I always ask why they think that I get because I would read, people need it, it’s a heck of a story your life, I want to know the details that aren’t in your blog. So I talked about to a few people lately and then I say do you think really people would read it, I doubt myself and said maybe one day. Last night I’m just watching practice lady comes  up to me and says your that big guy that writes that blog. She said that lady over there said to read it and I read 10 of them over the weekend. I said I hope you enjoyed them.  She said enjoy was one word but wow is what came to mind. She said I have never heard a man be so open, vulnerable, logical, and do it through the pain that you have gone through and now your here. Have you ever thought about writing a book. I chuckled and said yeah and you’re helping me make sure I do. I asked her why should I and  she said: You can change lives, people need to hear your story, women need to hear your honesty, you give me hope and you can change a generation of men if you choose to do so. I gave her a hug and told her thank you and she made me promise not to stop writing. So with that its time I write the book and fill in some details . I know at least 12 people who will read it so that’s a good start. So say some prayers that I get the direction and the door will open so I can find out how to do it. In the meantime save your money so you can buy one lol. For those that have encouraged me to this point to write the book thank you and I know Im stubborn but I heard you.

 

 








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