Day 1544 Superman needs to wash his cape

17 05 2017

Hi Blog world well its Texas so you know its hot and humid. You walk outside after a shower you smell like a wet puppy and your pores look like clear plastic bowls. At least you can get a good tan and the smell of cooked bacon is rampant.

A sincere thank you for those who read my thoughts. To be honest it feels good when someone tell your thoughts, or being authentic and real helped me. Men don’t do what you do so you provide hope! When I die I hope the line is out the door and every person would say, he loved me, he was weird, honest, real and he provided me hope on my worst days. If that happens I left behind an amazing legacy. If I haven’t  yet I hope to do that soon.

Super man had a cape a pretty cool cape actually. Superman was 6th Halloween costume and when it was over I still wore the cape Sometimes I was clothed and sometimes I wasn’t but that’s another blog. The point is once I put that cape on I could do anything, I could fly, rescue my dog, bury my hot wheels deep in the dirt and find them, almost catch a squirrel, for 5 yards I was faster than a car. Point is with it on I could do anything it was my badge of honor. It had to be washed sometimes because it went everywhere with me and it went from  red to a dark brown. When I took it off I was just Normal Jason Tyler Wood. Nothing to save, no super hero, no one to cheer me on. So I needed the cape I thought.

10 years old my dad came to me and said son you’re the man of the family. I put on a permanent cape but I didn’t know it at the time. I put on a cape because my dad donated his to me. It was my badge, it was me rescuing everyone, me saving everything that need to be saved, me putting the world on my shoulders. A 10-year-old boy  trying to figure out a world but I didn’t even know how to shave. I wore it well though, my parents were proud of me told me I was doing a good job. I couldn’t let them down, I couldn’t take my cape off and wash it. I mean my family and world needed me. I couldn’t let myself down. This imaginary cape I was wearing my identity. I should be a 10 year old boy doing 10 year old boy stuff. I was busy trying to be responsible all the time, fixing adult problems and figuring out a way to get my family out of the hell it was in. At the same time developing an anger problem because I didn’t have the answers, fighting my way out of problems, loving people so they would love but knowing how to. I prayed people would like me and see what I was doing was awesome. They would shout my name to my greatness. I was creating the Tyler idol.

I could go through every year and tell you how I wore the cape without washing it,  how it was tattered, had holes in but I was going to retire it or even take it off. August 27th 2011 the cape fell without my wanting it to and I tried to take my life.  The cape and I ran out of answers. I looked at and wanted to put it back on but didn’t know how to tie it around my neck anymore. Who was I , I had no identity, my cape was destroyed but I didn’t know what to do without it.

The closer I’ve got to God I realize he’s my cape. I thought for the longest time he was my Kryptonite but I was so wrong. The problem is sometimes the 6-year-old boy comes out in me and I put on a cape. I try to rescue everything again, I want to save everything. I put everyone’s burden on me and then I trip over the cape.

I hope you get the story: I know to many people who wear capes everyday. Its tiring, it hurts and it makes life miserable. We weren’t meant to wear a cape, that’s for comic book hero’s.  Untie your cape, wash it, and put it in a nice box and store it. You don’t have to be Superman there’s  one superman and he will carry our cape.

No matter how strong you are it’s better to read about superman that carrying the burden of trying to be. This Halloween go as  adult superman and put on that cape enjoy it but then take it off and realize those days of pretending are over. Its time to live again.

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Day 927 I want to be real for just a second

10 08 2015

Tax free weekend in Texas is by far the dumbest thing we have ever done as a state. Lets just say you spend 500 dollars for school supplies, clothes etc.. You save a  grand total of 42 bucks. Yes 42 dollars is good but the amount of pain, turmoil, sheer stupidity of the human race is not worth or will it ever be. I had to teach my daughter a lesson about so after she spent 1 hour at JC Penny waiting to try on a pair of shoes, they brought the wrong shoes and then wouldn’t help her. She learned a lesson and said dad never again. Today though shopping with her again and only waiting 20 minutes we with a found a pair of shoes. Shopping with a girl is like finding a needle in a river but we did it.

I want to be real. I know I usually am but today I want it to mean something. I would never expect anyone to stick their life out for somebody to criticize or beat you down. It happens to me and the others that are a part of our group. It’s okay it comes with the territory but when you can look another human in the eyes and tell them that you’ve never had a problem with sin or with anything or inside of you. I have no time for you. First of all God said we are sinners. That means every one of us and even you. I have never in my walk of life no matter how boring, innocent, quiet, reserved etc..  a person was that didn’t have something inside their closets. I love your glass house I really do but glass breaks.

I’m not judging anyone all I’m stating is how if God says were all sinners  that means you are too. I know people who put on a great party mask and want you to believe that their life is perfect. Who in God’s name wants to live that way. Divorce rate is out of control, alcoholism, drug abuse, suicide and I could go on they are all out of control. You might be out of your season of hell or it hasn’t come yet but stop trying to play pretend games with your life. Please stop trying to convince everyone your perfect and nothing is wrong. You know why, you’re the person struggling more than anyone. To try to beat somebody down that is honest, convicted because it makes you feel better is just terribly sad.  God never said don’t sin, he said confess your sin. Its freeing and makes life a lot easier, You can accept others and see them for they truly are. I love broken people. Why, because they are me, they are real ,authentic, loving and just easier to be around.

I want to be closer to God and Jesus. He knows I’m a mess. Perfect example: Every Saturday for at least a year I was going out to the bar with my friends and getting drunk. Every time I got in my car and drove a little or a long ways home and I was drunk. I was lonely and that’s why I did it. No excuses at all. I have my own demons and Saturday nights I lost them. I’m proud to announce for one month now I haven’t stepped into a bar or had a drink. I still deal with the loneliness but I’ve proven to myself that I can do this and honestly my focus and thoughts are more positive.

That’s real and its scary to let people know it but don’t you dare throw your judgmental, holy than now BS at me.  It helps me to be honest. It may not help you but if not just be quite. If you need help ask. More people want to be a help than a hurt. I learned that the hard way.  Just know somebody around you is dying slowly inside they need an encouraging word not a hammer over the head. BE THE WORD!





Day 927 I want to be real for just a second

9 08 2015

Tax free weekend in Texas is by far the dumbest thing we have ever done as a state. Lets just say you spend 500 dollars for school supplies, clothes etc.. You save a  grand total of 42 bucks. Yes 42 dollars is good but the amount of pain, turmoil, sheer stupidity of the human race is not worth or will it ever be. I had to teach my daughter a lesson about so after she spent 1 hour at JC Penny waiting to try on a pair of shoes, they brought the wrong shoes and then wouldn’t help her. She learned a lesson and said dad never again. Today though shopping with her again and only waiting 20 minutes we with a found a pair of shoes. Shopping with a girl is like finding a needle in a river but we did it.

I want to be real. I know I usually am but today I want it to mean something. I would never expect anyone to stick their life out for somebody to criticize or beat you down. It happens to me and the others that are a part of our group. It’s okay it comes with the territory but when you can look another human in the eyes and tell them that you’ve never had a problem with sin or with anything or inside of you. I have no time for you. First of all God said we are sinners. That means every one of us and even you. I have never in my walk of life no matter how boring, innocent, quiet, reserved etc..  a person was that didn’t have something inside their closets. I love your glass house I really do but glass breaks.

I’m not judging anyone all I’m stating is how if God says were all sinners  that means you are too. I know people who put on a great party mask and want you to believe that their life is perfect. Who in God’s name wants to live that way. Divorce rate is out of control, alcoholism, drug abuse, suicide and I could go on they are all out of control. You might be out of your season of hell or it hasn’t come yet but stop trying to play pretend games with your life. Please stop trying to convince everyone your perfect and nothing is wrong. You know why, you’re the person struggling more than anyone. To try to beat somebody down that is honest, convicted because it makes you feel better is just terribly sad.  God never said don’t sin, he said confess your sin. Its freeing and makes life a lot easier, You can accept others and see them for they truly are. I love broken people. Why, because they are me, they are real ,authentic, loving and just easier to be around.

I want to be closer to God and Jesus. He knows I’m a mess. Perfect example: Every Saturday for at least a year I was going out to the bar with my friends and getting drunk. Every time I got in my car and drove a little or a long ways home and I was drunk. I was lonely and that’s why I did it. No excuses at all. I have my own demons and Saturday nights I lost them. I’m proud to announce for one month now I haven’t stepped into a bar or had a drink. I still deal with the loneliness but I’ve proven to myself that I can do this and honestly my focus and thoughts are more positive.

That’s real and its scary to let people know it but don’t you dare throw your judgmental, holy than now BS at me.  It helps me to be honest. It may not help you but if not just be quite. If you need help ask. More people want to be a help than a hurt. I learned that the hard way.  Just know somebody around you is dying slowly inside they need an encouraging word not a hammer over the head. BE THE WORD!

 





Day 182 Love right or wrong

9 07 2013

I know most men don’t get them and I have no idea how I did but I got a UTI (Urinary Tract infection) yes they hurt and yes its weird to feel that way there. I think Im better today but lets not do that again. I did drink a lot of cranberry juice so something good came from it. Crossfit is still amazing it hurts but it’s a good hurt and I’m accomplishing something which I needed to feel that way. It felt like I hadn’t accomplished anything lately.

My answer to this question is I don’t know but I will ramble and lets see: Can you love someone who you haven’t lived life with? A very close friend asked me to write about this and I ve been thinking about this a lot. When I was in my 20’s I would say yes. Love in your 20′ s is a silly love. I believe you can love some you haven’t lived life with but you have to grow with it. The problem is after divorce or later in your life. We are jaded and there is nothing like blind love anymore. We finally know that people don’t change or we can’t change them and we all need to be fixed. We lost trust not only in the opposite sex but the BS we were raised to believe about life so we have to learn all over again. You only do that by living life and trying not to wait for the other shoe to drop. You see a behavior or pattern that you saw in an ex and your first thought isn’t come here I want to give you a hug. Your first thought is go away far far away. Don’t tell me Tyler you’re not healed or not ready. No that’s crap. I’m talking about being real and I said the first thing that came to your mind, not logically after you thought about it.

I just want to believe in love again and I know one day blah blah, but I believe that I will have to live life and know what happens when S&IT hits the fan. Example: Bad day at work, all you want to do is come home sit down and get 15 minutes with your thoughts, what happens next: Significant other had a horrible day, you forgot to pay a bill, you found out that your daughter had sex for the first time, the telemarketers call at the same time, your other kid forgot to tell you about a project due tomorrow, your ex calls and asks why you didn’t do XYZ. Now you tell me how your going to react. You don’t know until your there. If you fly off the handle or the other person does and this is how it normally goes then can you love that person? I don’t know but I have to see how life reacts to you and then you react to it. I could claim to love you blindly now but that situation happens then that may change everything.

I know we have to forgive the bad we had in our past, be able to accept the good as well. We are bringing each other into the others world and it can be scary ex (mother-in-laws). I m going to try my best to show you the right and wrong of my life is that enough. I’ll protect you from everything in life when you need to hide, but can you do that for me. That’s what love is for me when I’m not at my best or you’re not how do I love you and you love me and we have to live that together you just don’t know.

It’s just my ramble please share your thoughts.








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