Day 998 Do you really believe that crap

22 10 2015

Finally my friends outside of Texas it has cooled off. My head doesn’t smell like cooked bacon anymore and the leaves are changing into  mulch because the color here goes from green to dead. It is great at night when its 60 and you can walk around without dripping in sweat. Welcome Fall and pumpkin spice whatever.

I try a few times a week to  post to my Facebook something truthful and meaningful to me. In turn I hope someone else gets something out of it. It could be about God, life, kids, overcoming something etc.. I just hope that I read it and remember but also lives change. I know what its like to be in the depths of hell and I hope that people just have hope.

I posted last week: I’ve heard a lot this week I cant do this. To get to that point breaks my heart because the hopeless feeling is overwhelming.
My sophomore year of high school someone left this poem on my desk. I still have no idea this day who put it on my desk. The number of times I have read it, held it and cried are too many to count. It always helped me realize I have hope.
I hope it does for you and remember this:
If you’re reading this God is 100% on getting you through something that you thought you couldn’t handle. Have a great day please

Tyler Wood's photo.
I had a guy message me and said do you really believe the crap (he used another word) you post. I mean come on man life isn’t easy. Its hard and you post all of this stuff and there’s no way you believe it all.
I used to be very cynical and didn’t believe it. I always said that was for someone else. I mean look at my life how could any of those things possibly  work. Look at my life this stuff just doesn’t work for me.
Fast forward there are days where i post the things I do or write the blog because I need to see it. I stopped believing or feel far from God and all the things that are important to me. I feel like a non-believer at times that where Im at  is the best its going to be, That he doesn’t want any better for me,  where I am at in life is it. Then I have two people who wake me up. It might be a text or a slap in the face meeting.
Yes I believe this (crap). I got here because of it. The church did a horrible job when we grew up of letting us know that God (yes that God) wants the best for us in every aspect, relationships, love, money, job, helping etc.. There is no limit to his love.  It’s okay to be successful and wealthy as long as we are feeding his kingdom back and not taking credit for what he did.
I have to believe what I post, read and think. If I don’t I will be at my Rock bottom again. I NEVER want to be at that place of being alive but being dead. I know if I feel the crap of the world that people need to see the hope too. I do struggle and question but that’s normal. Staying in that place of non-belief is what will cause our downfall.
You have a story too. Please tell your story even if you don’t feel worthy. I’m no different from you at all I just listened to what God wanted and not me. I’m taking the 2nd chance and trying my best to make sure that “this crap” helps someone else and being convicted when I do wrong. So I’m off to find more crap to think about.
Advertisements




Day 998 Do you really believe that crap

21 10 2015

Finally my friends outside of Texas it has cooled off. My head doesn’t smell like cooked bacon anymore and the leaves are changing into  mulch because the color here goes from green to dead. It is great at night when its 60 and you can walk around without dripping in sweat. Welcome Fall and pumpkin spice whatever.

I try a few times a week to  post to my Facebook something truthful and meaningful to me. In turn I hope someone else gets something out of it. It could be about God, life, kids, overcoming something etc.. I just hope that I read it and remember but also lives change. I know what its like to be in the depths of hell and I hope that people just have hope.

I posted last week: I’ve heard a lot this week I cant do this. To get to that point breaks my heart because the hopeless feeling is overwhelming.
My sophomore year of high school someone left this poem on my desk. I still have no idea this day who put it on my desk. The number of times I have read it, held it and cried are too many to count. It always helped me realize I have hope.
I hope it does for you and remember this:
If you’re reading this God is 100% on getting you through something that you thought you couldn’t handle. Have a great day please

Tyler Wood's photo.
I had a guy message me and said do you really believe the crap (he used another word) you post. I mean come on man life isn’t easy. Its hard and you post all of this stuff and there’s no way you believe it all.
I used to be very cynical and didn’t believe it. I always said that was for someone else. I mean look at my life how could any of those things possibly  work. Look at my life this stuff just doesn’t work for me.
Fast forward there are days where i post the things I do or write the blog because I need to see it. I stopped believing or feel far from God and all the things that are important to me. I feel like a non-believer at times that where Im at  is the best its going to be, That he doesn’t want any better for me,  where I am at in life is it. Then I have two people who wake me up. It might be a text or a slap in the face meeting.
Yes I believe this (crap). I got here because of it. The church did a horrible job when we grew up of letting us know that God (yes that God) wants the best for us in every aspect, relationships, love, money, job, helping etc.. There is no limit to his love.  It’s okay to be successful and wealthy as long as we are feeding his kingdom back and not taking credit for what he did.
I have to believe what I post, read and think. If I don’t I will be at my Rock bottom again. I NEVER want to be at that place of being alive but being dead. I know if I feel the crap of the world that people need to see the hope too. I do struggle and question but that’s normal. Staying in that place of non-belief is what will cause our downfall.
You have a story too. Please tell your story even if you don’t feel worthy. I’m no different from you at all I just listened to what God wanted and not me. I’m taking the 2nd chance and trying my best to make sure that “this crap” helps someone else and being convicted when I do wrong. So I’m off to find more crap to think about.




Day 885 I’m going to be famous

29 06 2015

Are you a fan of pizza? If you are I need your input on all the different types of pizza and the best ones. I never knew all the types but I got an education and now I’m ready for opinions but next blog. We had a tremendous weekend with our Rock Bottom Family and my little babies got to experience it as well. We got to go to sunny south Dallas and administer 200 backpacks and 100 hygiene packs. Mostly we got to love on people and my kids are turning into some of the best. Not only with hugs but to take the lead and love on others when society says don’t do that. I’m a super proud daddy.

After our radio show last Monday I got some of the negative feedback that rolls with doing what we do but almost all of it was positive. Two people who I would consider very good friends mentioned you’re going to be famous very soon based on your speaking and radio appearances.. I smiled and started processing that thought because that’s what I do. Most of my life I wanted to be famous either as a football, rugby player or stand-up comedian. I wanted people to worship the ground I walked on. All the names in lights, the money, the free stuff, and mostly the pick of women. I dreamed about it as a little kid, for a long time I thought it might happen then the dreams shattered and I wanted it more. I knew I was capable. How would it be to snap your fingers and get people to do what you wanted because they feared you and not respect you. At one time in my remodeling business I won Top 12 under 40 year remodelers in the United States. I thought I’m on my way. I’m going to be the go to guy, this will bring me more money, fame and you never know will it will lead.  Well it all eventually lead to my trying to take my life because of how I thought I failed. Through all of that what I wasn’t was remembered. The one thing you can’t control is being famous, I mean we have the Kardishans, the Hilton’s and various other people who have no talent and are famous. I mean grumpy cat is famous and he just was born with a grumpy face. Society dictates whose famous and its usually for the wrong reasons.

My two friends and anybody else that thinks Im going to be famous. I mean this thank you but I honestly I could care less. What I want is to be remembered. I want in my everyday walk in life for people to say that’s a tremendous man of God, he was an amazing father, one of the best husbands that walked  the earth, and real and genuine. When my funeral comes hopefully many years from now that there are so many people lined up they close down the streets to tell my children that your dad  loved God,  he was the best friend, son, brother, he believed in me when I couldn’t, he change my life, he loved me, he gave me what he didn’t have, and you should be proud of the man he was.  If that makes me famous I’ll sign up for that. The money, fame, name  in lights is about me, what I just mentioned is about God. Ill never forget when my dad passed away they talked about he did for others not the stuff he had. If I’m striving for the stuff I’ll get it but I know the outcome, if Im striving to be a warrior for God, with a broken past, foul mouth, wounded heart and people come to know Jesus through that I’ll be what I was designed for. I just want my kids to look people in the eye and say my dad was famous because he loved us and were proud of him. You can have your Hollywood I’ll take my Morgan and Brayden everyday!





Day 839 Is this what its like to feel loved

15 05 2015

I know what God wants me doing. I know it, feel it and its a fulfilling feeling. I got lucky to hear God and he put me in touch with people who over 2 years brought me to Rock Bottom Outreach. There is no way in my normal life I would have ever been friends with these people just through my normal walk in life. Not only do I have these amazing people in my life but I’m also allowed to share my testimony. Some people say big deal does it matter, I couldn’t do it, why do you air your dirty laundry? For those that don’t know me God gave me a gift to lead, speak and be vulnerable. When he gives you something you run with it. For me I can and will get up in front of any and everybody to share from the moment I came into the world until where I stand now and tell you how I screwed up and my story or redemption not perfection. Why do I do it, why does Rock Bottom do it because we offer hope to the weak, weary, defeated, and the ones that are ready to end their life. We need it to as a part of our journey in healing. Last night was another amazing example of when I doubt what were doing and what I’m doing that God shows up and shows out.

We spoke to a group of youth and adults in Springtown Texas at Hilltop church. When I walked in your could feel the need and I was ready. I was very emotional last night and have no idea why and asked to go last. If I wouldn’t have I would have cried my the whole time but I went last and made it. The our team rocked it with Power testimonies which each of us gets 3 minutes. Its quick but you can through a lot of life in when you’re hitting the high notes. I talk about suicide in my message. I understand it and lived. I know what its like to feel worthless, unworthy, that everything you touch turns to garbage, that life will never get better. I also know that’s a lie from the pits of hell. I tried to end my life but I got lucky and now its my turn to share and change lives. After Rock Bottom and the message we get to stay around and talk to whoever wants to talk to us. The tough part about suicide is talking about it one on one and feeling someone elses pain. Two 7th grade girls approached me and said can I talk to you about suicide. I listened intently and inside I’m dying for them. I wont tell the whole story of both but I spoke some real talk to her and then talked to the adult leadership how to help her. Sure there was teenage drama to her talk but she was serious and then the there are moments that leave you speechless. I gave both girls hugs and one girl looked at me and said is that what its like to feel loved. I stepped back and I guess she saw the confusion on my face and said the hug you just gave me. I said I hope so sweetie.  I walked away with tears running down my eyes and said thank you God. Me being open and showing I care for this girl maybe for the first time in her life felt loved.

I got in my car and said no matter what I have screwed up in my life Jesus was like carry on my good and faithful son you’re doing my work and I love you!! Thanks for reading!!





Day 839 Is this what its like to feel loved

14 05 2015

I know what God wants me doing. I know it, feel it and its a fulfilling feeling. I got lucky to hear God and he put me in touch with people who over 2 years brought me to Rock Bottom Outreach. There is no way in my normal life I would have ever been friends with these people just through my normal walk in life. Not only do I have these amazing people in my life but I’m also allowed to share my testimony. Some people say big deal does it matter, I couldn’t do it, why do you air your dirty laundry? For those that don’t know me God gave me a gift to lead, speak and be vulnerable. When he gives you something you run with it. For me I can and will get up in front of any and everybody to share from the moment I came into the world until where I stand now and tell you how I screwed up and my story or redemption not perfection. Why do I do it, why does Rock Bottom do it because we offer hope to the weak, weary, defeated, and the ones that are ready to end their life. We need it to as a part of our journey in healing. Last night was another amazing example of when I doubt what were doing and what I’m doing that God shows up and shows out.

We spoke to a group of youth and adults in Springtown Texas at Hilltop church. When I walked in your could feel the need and I was ready. I was very emotional last night and have no idea why and asked to go last. If I wouldn’t have I would have cried my the whole time but I went last and made it. The our team rocked it with Power testimonies which each of us gets 3 minutes. Its quick but you can through a lot of life in when you’re hitting the high notes. I talk about suicide in my message. I understand it and lived. I know what its like to feel worthless, unworthy, that everything you touch turns to garbage, that life will never get better. I also know that’s a lie from the pits of hell. I tried to end my life but I got lucky and now its my turn to share and change lives. After Rock Bottom and the message we get to stay around and talk to whoever wants to talk to us. The tough part about suicide is talking about it one on one and feeling someone elses pain. Two 7th grade girls approached me and said can I talk to you about suicide. I listened intently and inside I’m dying for them. I wont tell the whole story of both but I spoke some real talk to her and then talked to the adult leadership how to help her. Sure there was teenage drama to her talk but she was serious and then the there are moments that leave you speechless. I gave both girls hugs and one girl looked at me and said is that what its like to feel loved. I stepped back and I guess she saw the confusion on my face and said the hug you just gave me. I said I hope so sweetie.  I walked away with tears running down my eyes and said thank you God. Me being open and showing I care for this girl maybe for the first time in her life felt loved.

I got in my car and said no matter what I have screwed up in my life Jesus was like carry on my good and faithful son you’re doing my work and I love you!! Thanks for reading!!





Day 694 God if your real you need to show up now

21 12 2014

I appreciate those people who go all out with Christmas Decoration. My babies, mom and nephew went through a Christmas Display in Arlington Texas Called Interlocken. It’s about 300 houses. It’s just beautiful and knowing its been going on for over 30 years is just stunning. I’m done wrapping, buying and thinking about Christmas. Its time to enjoy and make Thursday morning amazing.

I know many people who stopped believing in God because he didn’t answer their prayer. I know many others that made a choice that they will be in God when he only shows them miracles I for one doubted, challenged God, told him I hated him, and I  walked away from him. I knew what was best for me and I was going to show God. Its funny I didn’t know sH%t and I had plenty of nothing to show for it. God was there for me every time he never left me but I thought differently. I know three different occasions where I asked God to show up because I was tired of trying to believe him and knowing what “he” was doing wasn’t working. Each of these times I said God if your real I need you to show up now: 1st one was when my dad got into a coma the day he died. He had COPD and his lungs were filling up with fluid. If you have never heard the sound its one of the most horrible ways to hear someone die. I couldn’t stand it anymore and after 11 hrs I finally said God if your real please take him now. about 4 minutes later my dad stopped breathing and he went home. 2. I got into a horrible fight in the Northside of Fort Worth. One of my friends got jumped and the guys there all had knives daring someone to jump in. Well in all my infinite wisdom I did just that. When I jumped in many others did too. I asked God if he was real now would be a great time to show it. 8 people got stabbed nobody to bad but I got nothing except a broken knuckle, swollen  eye and my shirt had to be replaced. 3.  The day I moved out my house when I was getting divorced. I packed the final box I asked my friend Lew to give me a minute. I went inside looked around and cried. I told God I couldn’t do this by myself. I was so scared, I didn’t know how to be a daddy by myself, but if you are real I need you to show me now. Well here Ia flawed and all but god stepped up time and time again. When I didn’t ask he was there, when I asked he was there. I made some promises to God that if you will do this and that I will do fill in the _____________. He has and I am. God gives us opportunities everyday to bless someone else. People say God show up now. It may not be in a white rob, Charleton Heston voice, or some noble stead but it could be a 39-year-old man who reached Rock Bottom and has the most compassionate heart for others. It’s about being humble so the things I do very few know about. It’s not about the pat on the back, it’s about knowing that someone never has to feel the sense of hopelessness I did. I got the chance to help two people this week. Neither asked but I felt and knew. One person posted on FB a status and I knew exactly what they meant. Long story short I was able to send some money. It wasn’t a lot but it made a difference. I gave him the check and he said I asked God to please show me your still real and he showed up as you.  You see God is always where we need to be. We have to put down our pride, ego, anger, and sometimes just plain stupidity to see him. I will continue to teach that it’s about helping others. Sometimes just helping them see who they really are after years of being told otherwise. Sometimes its just listening, sometimes its just a check. We are the hands and feet of Jesus and no matter how you choose to see it sometimes you and I are how God shows up for others. So if your real and proclaim God is the foundation for your life its time for us to show up now.





Day 672 Why the holidays are so hard

30 11 2014

I’m part of one amazing organization. Rock Bottom Outreach does so much for each one of us but we give back to our community is amazing. We did a Coat drive for children  called Coats for Kids and the goal was 2000 coats. We got 2190 what an effort and I’m so thankful to be a part of the selfless group of people.

The holidays one of the best times of year. There are so many good things that happen this time of year. Concentration on Jesus, Friends, family, giving, the weather, people, special moments that don’t just happen throughout the year. The holidays are geared to happiness, relationships and everything good in the world. While that is so true and I’m glad it is let’s get real. The is the toughest part of the year for many people. December and July are the two highest rates of suicide. If your single or married it doesn’t matter. If this doesn’t pertain to you then stop reading but this is real. This time of year brings back traditions, nostalgia, lots of hurt, pain, death. If were missing, a parent, or so glad that there gone, somebody we loved died, relationships that ended, you’re in a horrible marriage and you can’t fake your way through it, Your kids are grown and gone, you can’t go home, money is short, people are sick, your sick, it’s the end of another year and nothing has changed in your life, you hate Santa. If you single your might have lost custody of your children, you don’t have children yet and you want them so bad, this time of year brings back memories good and bad of failed relationships, everything is geared for family and love. People hate to be alone during this time of year more than any. You can be alone in a relationship as well. Movies stir more emotions than normal.  I know for me tonight I decorated my place by myself. I would loved to have my kids with me but it will be ready when they get here. I would love to walk the stores/mall hand in hand with someone laugh at all the idiots and smiling just sharing and making memories. It reminds so much of my dad and how much he loved us coming home. My mom making miracles happening with nothing because of what life had dealt us. This year my kids wake up Christmas morning with their mom and I’m sorry its just not the same without them here.

So why share all of this. People isolate this time of year. Please reach out to them. There are so many good things about this time of year that we forget because we feel sorry for ourselves. This is the season of love for a reason. Insist on people coming with you,, keep checking on people if yo get that gut feeling. Most people are very private and would never tell you what their feeling and thinking. I promise it’s a tough time of year lets share our blessings and then they get passed on.








Matthew Winters (Honest Thoughts from a Pastor)

The life, ministry, & thoughts of a Christ-follower, husband, dad, & minister

Lyrics, Lattes, and Life Lessons

Things That Go Bump In The Write

paytej

Let's seek the truth. Let's share in Christ.

My True North

A certain darkness is needed to see the stars.

Megha Bose

A peek into Megha's mind

jesussocial

Christian News, Devotional, Leadership, Church, Evangelism, Conference, Worship, Pastors , Bible, Gospel Music,Gospel,Salvation, GoodNews, Disciples, Cross,Winning, Love, Mercy,Bible Study,New Testament, Church,Matthew,Mark, Luke, John,Heart, Soul, Body,Mind,Spirit,Church History, Books, Pastorso, Evangelists. Teachers, Apostles, Healing, Leadership, Grace, Salvation, Faith,Lifestyle and Entertainment,

JADIKANLAH AKU RAJA

Invite Rizky FAUZI as Speaker - 08986800220 (Chat WA) | SUPPORT HAMIKU SUCCESS with SHARE IT | Setelah DIBACA timbal baliknya harus di-SHARE soalnya gak gratis... - RIZKY FAUZI

iksperimentalist

a collision of science and comedy

This is My Story, This is My Song.

This is my journey with faith, love, acceptance, redemption through God's incredible grace and mercy!

Surviving the affair....the cheaters perspective

I cheated. Yip I did it, I am not proud of it, but that won't change a thing. This is my story of me trying to survive one day at a time. No guarantees....

Light of Darkness

Every moment of light and dark is a miracle

%d bloggers like this: