Day 1678 What happened- is this real Mom

18 10 2017

Good afternoon peeps. It has finally cooled off and my mood is good. You can actually go outside  and not need a shower immediately. Pumpkin spice is in full roar. I think I got 87 Octane pumpkin spice gasoline yesterday. It’s good for horsepower or something.

Today my mom would have been 75 years old. I wanted something poetic or breathtaking to honor her I’m not sure this will do it. I can’t believe this is your 2nd birthday without you.

There is no shock today like last year. It has set in your gone. It is more real than I could imagine. I shed my tears today but there are more smiles too. Your impact on this word is missed but the impact on us cannot be put into words. I fight this life harder now because I know more than anything that’s what you wanted. I try everyday to make you proud and honor you by trying to be like you.

When I walked into your room that morning and saw you weren’t  breathing but peaceful I knew that you were in a much better place but we still needed you. You touched so many lives as a Grammie, teacher, friend, sister, aunt but what you did for Meagan and I could never be measured. You were my best friend, at times my punching bag, you loved me when no one else did, had a way with words that other person could, you never left my side, you had a way of getting through my stubborn head in a way nobody could.
Life has not been the same, I hear your voice in everyday life and when things get tough saying never quit. You were the most amazing creation from God. I wish today you were calling me to tell me all about the flowers we bought you and all the colors in them and smell the white diamonds perfume on you.
I know your watching us with a smile and probably cooking for everyone on your birthday because that’s who you are.
These words are not enough with tears streaming and a broken heart just know you were my everything. I love you mom and thank you.
Happy birthday Billie Louise Wood.

Advertisements




Day 1656 My book is finally here

17 09 2017

After 2.5 years my book is finally here and published. Never in my life would I thought I could say I was a published author or hey go to amazon and buy my book.

I would ask you to please buy one. Even if you don’t like to read please purchase and give it away. I truly believe someone can be helped from it.

Here are a few links to buy the book:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/are-you-kidding-me-god-mr-tyler-wood/1127058008?ean=9781974133673

https://www.amazon.com/Are-You-Kidding-Me-God/dp/1974133672/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505691890&sr=8-1&keywords=are+you+kidding+me%2C+god

What I want to write about is my process to writing this book. I had to go through a lot of memories that you think okay I dealt with this I’m done with it. Then we have to go back to those memories to get the book write. I have cried, laughed, smiled, frowned. Thought for hours on in, how Im still alive, missed my mom, thought about failed relationships, my kids,  my relationships, people who have left me,  people who i questioned why they were in my life. This book is one of my greatest accomplishments.  It was hard, i quit for a year (who would read this), I couldn’t believe I took so long and let my mom down.

Bottom line we did it. I’m a published author and that cannot ever be taken away from me. I hope you can help me help others. My first goal is to sell a 1000 books. We will change goals after that.

This blog has been a part of my journey now for 5 years. It has helped me in so many ways. I have people from all over the world that follow this and have encouraged me. I can’t thank you enough for following me, helping me encouraging me and only God knows where we go from here.

Thank you again. Love you all very much





Day 1142 The Sony Walkman

21 03 2016

After 9 days without my kids I got them back, They got to go to Disneyworld with their mom. I’ve never have missed them so much. They had so much fun with lots of stories but I’m glad their back.  Spent some time with Rock Bottom outreach to this weekend. We gave back tot he homeless. It’s always great to get a different perspective on life and see that sometimes things happen that put us in places that we never expected to be.

Yesterday my amazing nephew celebrated his 12th birthday at Main Event. He had 4-5 friends there and family. It was his first birthday without my mom around you could tell her presence was missing. It took me back to a place for no reason on my 15th birthday. My nephew was spoiled for  sure. With food, presents and love. He got gifts and just kept opening them.  I know he liked them but like most kids now there spoiled. they have no idea how great they have it but hopefully we can teach them to be appreciative. I didn’t have a choice. My dad had lost job and became disable. My parents were doing everything to hang on to the house and cars and truthfully money was non-existent. We struggled in so many ways but my mom made sure nobody knew but I knew. I got to the point that I didn’t ask or even think about things anymore because I didn’t want to take anything from my family. I remember before football started my freshman I wanted a sony walkman. For those that didn’t know back then that was a tape cassette player that used headphones.  It was a way to escape the world and nobody else had to hear what you were listening to. It was so advanced and cool. I wanted one to lose myself before football games and also get pumped up. My mom actually asked one day at the store if I wanted something like this when we walked by it. I said I would love it but please don’t worry about it. That was the last  time I thought about it,that was in the month of August. My birthday is in October and I truly didn’t ask for anything or expect anything. I just knew our struggles were horrible and I was okay with just getting a card and happy birthdays at school.

The night of my birthday I got home and there was a cake. Birthdays cake is my favorite desert in the world. It said a happy birthday to number 72 the best son any parents could ask for. It made me cry because I knew that a cake was not in the budget but as usual my mom pulled off the miracle. The card was so heartfelt with messages from my mom, dad, and my little sister even signed it.  I started cutting the cake and looked up and my mom slide a wrapped box across the table. She said open it. I said mom why did you do this. It’s okay son you deserve this. I opened it up and it was my sony walkman. I couldn’t do anything except cry. I knew our struggles, I knew that 40  bucks was like a 1000. I hugged them both so much and I remember my dad said you better let your mom know more than me.

It didn’t dawn on me until later what my mom did. She sold a piece of her jewelry to get my walkman, card and cake. I had a conversation with her in my late 20’s and asked how she did it. She kept avoiding the question. She finally said I sold my purple ring and I would have sold everything to get you and your sister whatever you wanted. I hugged her, kissed and went to my car and shed a few tears. Knowing the sacrifice she made was unbelievable.  AS I sat there watching my nephew I thought about that walkman and my mom. I miss her more than words can explain but her memory, and spirit will run through me forever. I still have that walkman in a box in a storage unit in my hometown. I bet all I need is a battery and my old rap tapes to show people how appreciative I was.  Thanks for a walk in my past.

Source: Day 1142 The Sony Walkman





Day 1142 The Sony Walkman

20 03 2016

After 9 days without my kids I go them back, They got to go to Disney with their mom. I never have missed them so much. They had so much fun with lots of stories but I’m glad their back.  Spent some time with Rock Bottom outreach to this weekend. We gave back tot he homeless. It’s always great to get a different perspective on life and see that sometimes things happen that put us in places that we never expected to be.

Yesterday my amazing nephew celebrated his 12th birthday at Main Event. He had 4-5 friends there and family. It was his first birthday without my mom around you could tell her presence was missing. It took me back to a place for no reason on my 15th birthday. My nephew was spoiled for  sure. With food, presents and love. He got gifts and just kept opening them.  I know he liked them but like most kids now there spoiled. they have no idea how great they have it but hopefully we can teach them to be appreciative. I didn’t have a choice. My dad had lost job and became disable. My parents were doing everything to hang on to the house and cars and truthfully money was non-existent. We struggled in so many ways but my mom made sure nobody knew but I knew. I got to the point that I didn’t ask or even think about things anymore because I didn’t want to take anything from my family. I remember before football started my freshman I wanted a sony walkman. For those that didn’t know back then that was a tape cassette player that used headphones.  It was a way to escape the world and nobody else had to hear what you were listening to. It was so advanced and cool. I wanted one to lose myself before football games and also get pumped up. My mom actually asked one day at the store if I wanted something like this when we walked by it. I said I would love it but please don’t worry about it. That was the last  time I thought about it this was in the month of August. My birthday is in October and I truly didn’t ask for anything or expect anything. I just knew our struggles were horrible and I was okay with just getting a card and happy birthdays at school.

The night of my birthday I got home and there was a cake. Birthdays cake is my favorite desert in the world. It said a happy birthday to number 72 the best son any parents could ask for. It made me cry because I knew that a cake was not in the budget but as usual my mom pulled off the miracle. The card was so heartfelt with messages from my mom, dad, and my little sister even signed it.  I started cutting the cake and looked up and my mom slide a wrapped box across the table. She said open it. I said mom why did you do this. It’s okay son you deserve this. I opened it up and it was my sony walkman. I couldn’t do anything except cry. I knew our struggles, I knew that 40  bucks was like a 1000. I hugged them both so much and I remember my dad said you better let your mom know more than me.

It didn’t dawn on me until later what my mom did. She sold a piece of her jewelry to get my walkman, card and cake. I had a conversation with her in my late 20’s and asked how she did it. She kept avoiding the question. She finally said I sold my purple ring and I would have sold everything to get you and your sister whatever you wanted. I hugged her, kissed and went to my car and shed a few tears. Knowing the sacrifice she made was unbelievable.  AS I sat there watching my nephew I thought about that walkman and my mom. I miss her more than words can explain but her memory, and spirit will run through me forever. I still have that walkman in a box in a storage unit in my hometown. I bet all I need is a battery and my old rap tapes to show people how appreciative I was.  Thanks for a walk in my past.





Day 1067 My mom died yesterday

30 12 2015

We all know life can change in an instance and yesterday it did. My sister called me yesterday at 9:25 am hysterical and in between her tears she said mom is dead. I knew that it was not a joke of any sort. I asked her to calm down and she said the paramedics said she had been dead about 6 hours. The same way she fell asleep is the same way she died. She most likely died of a heart attack or blood clot. To say that sitting here in totally shock and numbness would be under statement. With my father I knew it was coming I got to say goodbye but not this time. I told my mom when she got home from work on Monday I loved her. I had no regrets with my mom. Dying peacefully is a great point but my only one now.

God didn’t ask me! People say when God is ready he will take them and that he did but my sister, our kids and I weren’t ready. How do you go from on a Monday shes still here then Tuesday shes not. I wish I could tell you I was mad, or confused but Im not. Ive cried a a lot in spurts. I lost it today when we picked the casket. We went through pictures at the funeral home, we gave her final clothes and I signed all the documents and sit in awe that it was over.

I know a lot of people have lost their parents and now I can sympathize with them but being 40 years old and filling like an orphan sucks. We do visitation Friday night and the service Saturday Im speaking about my mom at the service, I cant do justice to the women. She was truly the most amazing women I have ever known.

With my relationship with God being closer I get to put myself to work to make sure. As God and I go through the roller coaster I promise to continue to be vulnerable, honest and open as another journey starts for me. Please continue to read and encourage whenever you can.

Thank you so much for the people who have reached out, with so many great words, support, and love. If you pray we could use it now. If you don’t I’ll take a high five. Here’s to another unexpected journey! Love ya

 





Day 995 Remember when that old pic was cool

19 10 2015

 

The most amazing women in the world turned 73 today. That women is my mom. I couldn’t be more thankful for her. She is a giver of everything, she never let’s you down. She’s strong enough to smack you around if need be but hug you until you feel whole again. She has never asked for anything, when she always should have.
When nobody else was there for me she always was. Today is a celebration of one of the greatest women God created. Thank you for the example you are to the world. We all got to spend time with my mom today and yesterday. Even through her Parkinson’s she not missing a beat.

I was speaking to a customer last week. They were very wealthy and some very exotic things and just neat things that you don’t normally see in people’s homes. I was in awe of his wood workings and chess, sets, and musical instrument he had made. HE had some made of black African veneer which is $500 a sheet and just stunningly beautiful. I started asking about each pieces and he stopped me and said you know whats really sad. I walk by these pieces everyday and I don’t notice them anymore. He told me a story about a home he had in Santa Barbara CA I knew exactly where it was. I said it was the most beautiful view of the world I ve seen. He said I lived there 15 years and I stopped even noticing its beauty until last month I went back  and  I lived there after for 15 years and 14 years into it I stopped noticing it. He asked me do you remember a cool pic you took or a piece of art etc.. you put on the wall and 6 months later you haven’t looked at once. Not until someone else mentions it to you do you appreciate it again then it fades away again quickly.

When I drove away I thought about all the says I have on my wall, pics of my kids, a couple of really cool art pieces and that I haven’t looked at them in months. I have family rules on my wall and I’ve broken all of them maybe because I never look at my rules.  It made me think a lot about what we take for granted and that everything. Not just some old pic,  or art, or stuff but our relationships, our family, our job. I’m not sure why we do but we do everyday until: Life happens , someone gets sick, we lose a job, a relationship ends that we never knew would. We do it with God and not until the bottom starts falling out of our life do we start seeing the view differently. I wish the words of this blog would cause me to wake up differently and see something differently tomorrow. I wish that you would say because of you I looked at a photo on my wall and remembered how blessed I am, Or I walked into my kid’s bedroom and no matter how mad I was at them today I love them so, or your spouse that your ready to give up you remember today why you fell in love in the first place and rather than quitting on your marriage you decided to stay and fight for it.

My failures are not because of what I don’t have, my failures come from not being grateful for what I do have. The attitude of gratitude is waning. Try tonight or tomorrow  to see the view, the family, the old pic when it was cool. Be grateful because when its gone it never comes back.





Day 995 Remember when that old pic was cool

18 10 2015

The most amazing women in the world turned 73 today. That women is my mom. I couldn’t be more thankful for her. She is a giver of everything, she never let’s you down. She’s strong enough to smack you around if need be but hug you until you feel whole again. She has never asked for anything, when she always should have.
When nobody else was there for me she always was. Today is a celebration of one of the greatest women God created. Thank you for the example you are to the world. We all got to spend time with my mom today and yesterday. Even through her Parkinson’s she not missing a beat.

I was speaking to a customer last week. They were very wealthy and some very exotic things and just neat things that you don’t normally see in people’s homes. I was in awe of his wood workings and chess, sets, and musical instrument he had made. HE had some made of black African veneer which is $500 a sheet and just stunningly beautiful. I started asking about each pieces and he stopped me and said you know whats really sad. I walk by these pieces everyday and I don’t notice them anymore. He told me a story about a home he had in Santa Barbara CA I knew exactly where it was. I said it was the most beautiful view of the world I ve seen. He said I lived there 15 years and I stopped even noticing its beauty until last month I went back  and  I lived there after for 15 years and 14 years into it I stopped noticing it. He asked me do you remember a cool pic you took or a piece of art etc.. you put on the wall and 6 months later you haven’t looked at once. Not until someone else mentions it to you do you appreciate it again then it fades away again quickly.

When I drove away I thought about all the says I have on my wall, pics of my kids, a couple of really cool art pieces and that I haven’t looked at them in months. I have family rules on my wall and I’ve broken all of them maybe because I never look at my rules.  It made me think a lot about what we take for granted and that everything. Not just some old pic,  or art, or stuff but our relationships, our family, our job. I’m not sure why we do but we do everyday until: Life happens , someone gets sick, we lose a job, a relationship ends that we never knew would. We do it with God and not until the bottom starts falling out of our life do we start seeing the view differently. I wish the words of this blog would cause me to wake up differently and see something differently tomorrow. I wish that you would say because of you I looked at a photo on my wall and remembered how blessed I am, Or I walked into my kid’s bedroom and no matter how mad I was at them today I love them so, or your spouse that your ready to give up you remember today why you fell in love in the first place and rather than quitting on your marriage you decided to stay and fight for it.

My failures are not because of what I don’t have, my failures come from not being grateful for what I do have. The attitude of gratitude is waning. Try tonight or tomorrow  to see the view, the family, the old pic when it was cool. Be grateful because when its gone it never comes back.








Matthew Winters (Comeback Pastor)

The life, ministry, & thoughts of a Christ-follower, husband, dad, & minister

paytej

Let's seek the truth. Let's share in Christ.

My True North

A certain darkness is needed to see the stars.

sandsoftime10

A peek into Megha's mind

jesussocial

Christian News, Devotional, Leadership, Church, Evangelism, Conference, Worship, Pastors , Bible, Gospel Music,Gospel,Salvation, GoodNews, Disciples, Cross,Winning, Love, Mercy,Bible Study,New Testament, Church,Matthew,Mark, Luke, John,Heart, Soul, Body,Mind,Spirit,Church History, Books, Pastorso, Evangelists. Teachers, Apostles, Healing, Leadership, Grace, Salvation, Faith,Lifestyle and Entertainment,

FAUZI PRESIDENT HAMIKU

Invite Rizky FAUZI as Speaker - 08986800220 (Chat WA) | SUPPORT HAMIKU SUCCESS with SHARE IT | Setelah DIBACA timbal baliknya harus di-SHARE soalnya gak gratis... - RIZKY FAUZI

iksperimentalist

a collision of science and comedy

This is My Story, This is My Song.

This is my journey with faith, love, acceptance, redemption through God's incredible grace and mercy!

Surviving the affair....the cheaters perspective

I cheated. Yip I did it, I am not proud of it, but that won't change a thing. This is my story of me trying to survive one day at a time. No guarantees....

%d bloggers like this: