Day 1065 What I figured out about being a man

28 12 2015

I wish and hope you all had an amazing Christmas. It was the warmest Christmas I could remember, then Saturday we had tornadoes and flooding and this morning we had snow. Needless to say I love Texas but the weather has so many faces of multiple personality disorder.

I’m really sorry I haven’t blogged. I lost a little passion for it but also not sure I was heading with it either. I hope 2016 I get back into it and continue helping people through my words.

As we all reflect on 2015 and what it did and didn’t do and prepare to start 2016 I know what I learned. I was wrong a lot more than right. I grew a lot more than I gave myself credit for but mostly what I learned is that when I gave more of myself my life was better. We as men always are searching whats the answer to being a better man or being a man who the world would want. If you have a relationship with God you will understand that we have to give back. Our time, our skills, our money. My biggest struggles this year came when my focus came on myself. How much more money could I make, how  do I advance my career,  how do I get more for my kids. I spent the majority of my life living a life of me. Only when I realized the more I give back it comes back to me, but if my focus is only getting back I failed. I have spent a lot of time speaking through Rock Bottom, counseling people when they asked, spending one on one time with my kids, give quietly to someone in need. When I took breaks and yes I did either because I felt sorry for myself, or just got greedy and wanted to do for me because nobody was giving me what I thought I deserved. When I started only asking God for things and not thanking him I felt lost and an overall feeling of I was missing the point. Serving others will always humble us and minimize our own problems and cause our worry to lessen because we really see what problems are.

I don’t believe in resolutions. I do believe in having a few goals, with plans,  but if I want to succeed and reach my goals my focus has to be on God and is plans for me to serve.  As you prepare your resolutions or goals. If they are only about you by week three of January your plans will probably be dead please add in serving some way.  If you want what is best for others I promise it’s so much better than wanting for yourself. This year be about others and you will be blessed. I wish you the very best. Love ya





Day 828 Money wont buy your soul

3 05 2015

I had an awesome with weekend with my family. We saw the new Avengers movie, had my son’s baseball game, and the went to Mayfest in Fort Worth. Today we took my mom and sister to the horse races. We did a great job of having fun and getting along. Two points for my family. This week I will also be the father to a teenager. God help us all 🙂

Money can’t live with it and can’t live without it. It brings our the best and worst in every person and including me. I know I will get some disagreement about this but it’s the trust item I know to speak on. My the standard of the people growing up we were poor but taken care. We never had extra but we had what he needed. My parents worked their butts off like so many people’s parents and things worked out great and sometimes they didn’t. Once my father became disabled we learned what poor was. Life was taken from us and we had to  learn how to go without but still our needs were met. It’s just sometimes the needs were pushed out. I knew poor and I saw my mom and dad to go without so my sister and I didn’t go with out. I could tell you so many stories about money and what we weren’t able to do but I wont. I knew how to work hard because my parents were amazing examples but I swore I would never be poor. The journey for money was one of the biggest reasons for Rock bottom. I used greed, pride, ego and any other means so YOU would think I had money. I never had enough of it. I knew what it was like not to have any. So we drove the best, had the best and when we bought we usually bought two of everything so I never felt I was doing without. The money thing I never brought  God into my money because God didn’t understand currency and why I did what I did with my money. We even tithed to church but because I thought it would give us more. Damn was I wrong about money.

Chasing the almighty dollar brought me to my knees, literally and almost ended my life. Men are about being providers and we lose the fact that doesn’t mean piles of money and stuff. It means time and love. We work so hard to reach for something that we think because we can buy it for her or our kids that shows love and time. People and family want our time and soul. MONEY WILL NEVER BUY YOUR SOUL BUT IT WILL TAKE IT FROM YOU. I know to guys right now that are about to go bankrupt and they are filthy rich in stuff which is about to be taken and they have no idea who they are. I have met some amazing people on this journey that have lost it all, have it all but they lost  their family which is our soul. Men compare one another based on car, house, trophy wife, stuff they can donate to their kids sports team, vacation, and paying for weddings and college. What we see is what they want us to see but inside they are broken, an addict, full of rage, lost and downright hopeless. I will agree having money can buy you some freedom but it doesn’t buy happiness. I tried it and I talk to men who have money and when they get real they ALL say they would give it all up to have a sense of peace.

I’ve been reading Soul Keeping by John Ortenberg. Its one of the truest depictions of our soul and how we are driven by materialism and consumerism and try to buy our happiness. What that has caused us is to neglect the eternal and most important part of ourselves and the consequences from that.IF anyone ever tells you money will make it all better. Thats a lie from the pits of hell. MONEY cannot repair a destroyed heart and soul. You can mask it but only a close, deep down, being real with God and society can you mend that soul. This blog won’t change anyone’s thinking. If you know me you know my struggles with money and my thoughts on it. 39 years of thoughts on money are hard to change in a day. What I can tell you from experience that keep trying to find fulfillment, joy and love through money and you may be reaching out me to ask how did you build your life back after your lost everything and destroyed your soul. I’ll be the first one here to help pick you up but I want to keep you from going down that path.

When my dad died if you know my story I was embarrassed of him and the things we didn’t have. Every person that spoke of him just talked about how great of a man he was, and what he did for others. Not one time did people talk about his lack of money or stuff. It opened my eyes but not enough. Today I remember almost once a week  one of his closest friends said to me. He looked at me and I think he was thinking about his immortality and said: Inside that coffin is a great man and none of this earthly crap is in their with him. Remember that Tyler he had the greatest thing any man could ask for was family intact. I didn’t listen to him and I lost my family but Im learning and Im trying to teach you that money can never buy your soul.





Day 793 Why men pee on the toilet seat

30 03 2015

I finally got to get away down to Marble Falls Texas and spend it with one of my closet friends. No matter how long apart we don’t skip a beat. Also the drive was amazing. If you have never been in the Texas Hill Country you need to get down there and take in what we miss everyday.

I mentioned a few blogs back I wanted to show my humor and another side so here you go.  This blog will never solve the problem of men peeing on the toilet seat but Im here to offer some insight.  Just know women that men sit in pee too. At public events for some reason we wait until the last-minute have to run and sit down because it’s creeping out and we don’t check the seat. So there we are sitting in pee and creepers coming out. We do feel your pain  but not as often as you. Okay on to my point:

Why do men pee on the seat? We wait to long. Men are busy and we don’t have time to stop and pee until its make or break moment. Then we get there and the pee is about to go everywhere and we just shoot for the bowl. The bowl becomes the seat, the wall, the tank, the cabinet etc.. I have no idea wait we wait so long but we do then we leave a mess. Im sure you’re asking why don’t you just lift the seat. I promise we were taught to life the lid but not a lot. Life is a competitive for men sometimes I tell myself Im not lifting the lid because Im such a good aim Im only getting it in the bowl. Then we get some on the seat , just give up ,and it just happens more seems to get on the seat. We let ourselves down and lost the battle not the war. So we come back the next time and try again. In the middle of the night which is when most older men have to pee we don’t need the light on we’ve done this before we start pee, and then we start getting pee everywhere. Its late, Im tired and Ill clean it up tomorrow but tomorrow never comes. So the lady comes into the bathroom in the morning probably steps in pee and wakes you and ask you why did you pee on everything. The answer I gave just doesn’t make sense but its all we got. Also I know many men that have done this: you’re at someone elses house you can’t find the light switch and the pee is coming with or without you. So we pee then we panic because we just repainted the walls in dehydration yellow . We panic and grab the closet towel and clean it up. We don’t tell anyone and somebody comes in and uses  the towel but at least cleaned up. Here’s a helpful hint (if you’re at someones house smell the towel before you use it the chance of pee on it is highly likely.

Another reason: Sometimes the feeling you get from holding your pee for hours  feels so good we don’t care where we pee. When you done you get chills because it was so awesome. Its like marking your territory. You look at the pee and say that felt so good you just walk out like a boss!!

Sometimes were drunk. Were just glad we didn’t pee on ourselves but also poop. Its happened and happened to me. Peeing on the seat would be the least of our problems.

All men and boys and taught to shake when your done. So we shake and the remainder is there on the seat.. Our thought process is that it’s so little it will dry onto the seat and you ll never know.

Men if honest we like to perform dance moves and sing when we pee. Sometimes we get excited and then there it is. We got it on the seat, bowl floor, but we were singing in tune and our hips were moving like when we were in high school.

Women always say lift the seat and remember to put it down. Most remember to lift it but then the whole put the seat down thing!! Yeah we don’t do it because we hope you fall in the bowl of water sometimes. We can’t be honest and tell you that but its true.  How is that we lift the seat and pee on it. Well that’s our secret. You have yours we have ours.

Finally I promise you this. if you have a man who opens your car door for you you’ll never  know if he pees on the seat. Just trust me.





Day 793 Why men pee on the toilet seat

29 03 2015

I finally got to get away  and down to Marble Falls Texas and spend it with one of my closet friends. No matter how long apart we don’t skip a beat. Also the drive was amazing. If you have never been in the Texas Hill Country you need to get down there and take in what we miss everyday.

I mentioned a few blogs back I wanted to show my humor and another side so here you go.  This blog will never solve the problem of men peeing on the toilet seat but Im here to offer some insight.  Just know women that men sit in pee too. At public events for some reason we wait until the last-minute have to run and sit down because it’s creeping out and we don’t check the seat. So there we are sitting in pee and creepers coming out. We do feel your pain  but not as often as you. Okay on to my point:

Why do men pee on the seat? We wait to long. Men are busy and we don’t have time to stop and pee until its make or break moment. Then we get there and the pee is about to go everywhere and we just shoot for the bowl. The bowl becomes the seat, the wall, the tank, the cabinet etc.. I have no idea wait we wait so long but we do then we leave a mess. Im sure you’re asking why don’t you just lift the seat. I promise we were taught to life the lid but not a lot. Life is a competitive for men sometimes I tell myself Im not lifting the lid because Im such a good aim Im only getting it in the bowl. Then we get some on the seat , just give up ,and it just happens more seems to get on the seat. We let ourselves down and lost the battle not the war. So we come back the next time and try again. In the middle of the night which is when most older men have to pee we don’t need the light on we’ve done this before we start pee, and then we start getting pee everywhere. Its late, Im tired and Ill clean it up tomorrow but tomorrow never comes. So the lady comes into the bathroom in the morning probably steps in pee and wakes you and ask you why did you pee on everything. The answer I gave just doesn’t make sense but its all we got. Also I know many men that have done this: you’re at someone elses house you can’t find the light switch and the pee is coming with or without you. So we pee then we panic because we just repainted the walls in dehydration yellow . We panic and grab the closet towel and clean it up. We don’t tell anyone and somebody comes in and uses  the towel but at least cleaned up. Here’s a helpful hint (if you’re at someones house smell the towel before you use it the chance of pee on it is highly likely.

Another reason: Sometimes the feeling you get from holding your pee for hours  feels so good we don’t care where we pee. When you done you get chills because it was so awesome. Its like marking your territory. You look at the pee and say that felt so good you just walk out like a boss!!

Sometimes were drunk. Were just glad we didn’t pee on ourselves but also poop. Its happened and happened to me. Peeing on the seat would be the least of our problems.

All men and boys and taught to shake when your done. So we shake and the remainder is there on the seat.. Our thought process is that it’s so little it will dry onto the seat and you ll never know.

Men if honest we like to perform dance moves and sing when we pee. Sometimes we get excited and then there it is. We got it on the seat, bowl floor, but we were singing in tune and our hips were moving like when we were in high school.

Women always say lift the seat and remember to put it down. Most remember to lift it but then the whole put the seat down thing!! Yeah we don’t do it because we hope you fall in the bowl of water sometimes. We can’t be honest and tell you that but its true.  How is that we lift the seat and pee on it. Well that’s our secret. You have yours we have ours.

Finally I promise you this. if you have a man who opens your car door for you you’ll never  know if he pees on the seat. Just trust me.





Day 543 Why these Friday’s are so hard

25 07 2014

I wrote this in May 2013. No matter what these Friday’s always suck!

I m trying to find my purpose and slowly I think I am. I want to serve men and give them hope that they can change. We have all been told people don’t change well that’s the biggest line of crap we have ever been fed. If someone tells you that it’s the hardest thing you will ever do that may not be enough to tell someone. Last night our mens group got deep we finished talking about the Father Wound that all men/ women deal with but either don’t know that have it of if they admit it may sound weak. It got deep and we are all honest and let it all hang out I was relatively quite but then something hit me that I felt I need to say right when we were about to leave. I know a few of you who attack me will say how do you know you affected anyone? Three men cried, got 5 real hugs and Brian my counselor/friend who is also in our group said I have been in ministry 12 years and that was the powerful thing I have heard spoken to a group of men. I can’t recreate it but will give it my best shot.

We all have to face our mistakes either out loud in a blog, in our own silent hell, with a great friend or every Friday afternoon when I have dropped off my kids to go to their moms and I have the turn-key hell. Turn key hell= When I get to my apartment door and I pull my keys out and the feeling of my empty apartment I’m about to walk into without the laughing of my kids, the pushing of my kids, the no cartoons, the i don’t want to eat that, Can I have more, I m bored, I don’t want to brush my teeth and mostly the I love you daddy. It’s the worst feeling in the world and I haven’t got used to that yet. My dog greets me and she looks for the kids and I tell her no Chloe next Friday and she walks over to her bed because she to misses them. There is no women to say how was your day, the smell of a women, the we need to do this, can you go do this or a hug or kiss. So I put the key in the door and every time I hope for a different feeling but I have to stop when the door closes behind me take a deep breath and realize this is the hell you created. The great thing is I have the feeling because I will remember it. You can’t tell a women she is worthless, a bi%^h, c&(t, you don’t do this for me, or this how could you do this and not expect her to walk away. Yes I know she was guilty as well but I can only talk about me.  So men if you don’t deal with your crap, ego, your pride,  you fear and she leaves you. It was due you got what you deserved. Man up there are to many resources for you to have to say at 60 or 25 I’m sorry for what I didn’t do, because it can be done. Or keep doing what you’re doing, be separated from your kids, have the hollow empty feeling of loss that can only be stitched up, and go into the empty, quite, lonely hell that you created. It will happen you’re not one of the stats that gets away with it. I can promise that the Friday turn-key hell is worse than any hell she supposedly has put you through.

That was it in a nutshell. I don’t want anyone to feel that you can change and you can restore.

 

Day 124 Friday turn key hell.





Day 439 Must do Checklist for men

26 03 2014

Another week and another funeral. I’ve had three of my high school friends lose their fathers in the past two weeks. It’s a sad day for them and I hope they have forgiven them so that burden doesn’t stick with for a long time. I mentioned in the last blog how I listen to a lot of conversations and if you go back and listen to people how many times did you hear the following: Well it happened to me so you can deal with it. After being on the learning curve here is what I know: Just because it happened to you doesn’t mean we have to let it happen to someone else. Most  will say there is nothing I can do. Yes you can step up and say something. True most won’t listen but if you’re trying to live by example and turn your pain and experience into help is something we can do. I know many times when I was about to run into the wall at 110mph I wish someone would have reached it. We don’t have to save everyone we just start with one! 

On Facebook you can find any list to better yourself, I found this great one about a checklist for men: These are things our dads should have told us but maybe didn’t. I’ll highlight a few of the ones I think I really liked or missed in my life.

1. Go for women who you perceive to be out of your league: “You’ll surprise yourself”. It’s funny because the first thing your guy friends will do is tell you she’s out of your league because they don’t want you to get her and they wouldn’t ask. Nobody is out of your league and if she thinks she is it’s probably good she thinks that because then you won’t get messed up in her crap.

5. Never take her to a movie on a first date: What your telling her is that you’re trying to do something you want and you don’t have to talk to her.

10. Buy a plunger before you need a plunger. This is self-explanatory and the mess is worth a $3 plunger.

14. Call your parents every week. I talk to my mom everyday. Never know when you or they won’t be here.

17.  Compliment her shoes: My dad told me to do that and her hair. I promise it works.

24. Never lend anything you can’t afford to lose. I have seen friendships and family end over stuff that wasn’t returned. IF I give it to you sure I want it back but you must need it more than me.

28- Manliness  is not only being able to take care of yourself but care for others as well. Men were created to provide, lead and serve.

29- Go with the decision that makes for a good story-  It didn’t  make the best decision. If you know me I have some stories that people don’t believe  but I swear they are true. If you heard them sorry they made you uncomfortable or made you laugh so hard you peed your pants..

33- Don’t let the little head do the thinking for the big head. Thank God I changed this about myself. Good Lord I spent way to much time doing this one.

44 and 45 is what I’m working on now!

44. Do whatever you want to do in life but be the best at it. Enough said.

45. No one is  on their deathbed wishing they spent more time working. Enjoy your life. Maybe the hardest thing to train my brain.

45 tips-to-being-a-man

 





Day 439 Must do Checklist for men

25 03 2014

Another week and another funeral. I’ve had three of my high school friends lose their fathers in the past two weeks. It’s a sad day for them and I hope they have forgiven them so that burden doesn’t stick with for a long time. I mentioned in the last blog how I listen to a lot of conversations and if you go back and listen to people how many times did you hear the following: Well it happened to me so you can deal with it. After being on the learning curve here is what I know: Just because it happened to you doesn’t mean we have to let it happen to someone else. Most  will say there is nothing I can do. Yes you can step up and say something. True most won’t listen but if you’re trying to live by example and turn your pain and experience into help is something we can do. I know many times when I was about to run into the wall at 110mph I wish someone would have reached it. We don’t have to save everyone we just start with one! 

On Facebook you can find any list to better yourself, I found this great one about a checklist for men: These are things our dads should have told us but maybe didn’t. I’ll highlight a few of the ones I think I really liked or missed in my life.

1. Go for women who you perceive to be out of your league: “You’ll surprise yourself”. It’s funny because the first thing your guy friends will do is tell you she’s out of your league because they don’t want you to get her and they wouldn’t ask. Nobody is out of your league and if she thinks she is it’s probably good she thinks that because then you won’t get messed up in her crap.

5. Never take her to a movie on a first date: What your telling her is that you’re trying to do something you want and you don’t have to talk to her.

10. Buy a plunger before you need a plunger. This is self-explanatory and the mess is worth a $3 plunger.

14. Call your parents every week. I talk to my mom everyday. Never know when you or they won’t be here.

17.  Compliment her shoes: My dad told me to do that and her hair. I promise it works.

24. Never lend anything you can’t afford to lose. I have seen friendships and family end over stuff that wasn’t returned. IF I give it to you sure I want it back but you must need it more than me.

28- Manliness  is not only being able to take care of yourself but care for others as well. Men were created to provide, lead and serve.

29- Go with the decision that makes for a good story-  It didn’t  make the best decision. If you know me I have some stories that people don’t believe  but I swear they are true. If you heard them sorry they made you uncomfortable or made you laugh so hard you peed your pants..

33- Don’t let the little head do the thinking for the big head. Thank God I changed this about myself. Good Lord I spent way to much time doing this one.

44 and 45 is what I’m working on now!

44. Do whatever you want to do in life but be the best at it. Enough said.

45. No one is  on their deathbed wishing they spent more time working. Enjoy your life. Maybe the hardest thing to train my brain.

45 tips-to-being-a-man








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