Day 1807 the last 6 months

24 02 2018

Good saturday afternoon. This week in Texas we had a thunderstorm, ice and flooding all in one day. We are out of drought and now growing mosquitoes. Hold on my friends we might have snow before its all over.

As i sit and think about my dad today i remember the last 6 months of his life. Its the only time i got to know him. He told me the way he felt the day i was born, how he dreamed of me, how strong i was, how i always made him laugh. That besides my mom and sisters that we were the only good things that he did. His band he had in Germany, the way he felt when he drew and painted. How he and Buddy holly got in trouble. Why he started drinking, women he shouldnt have met. How he got scared, what he feared, when i first broke my leg how much he cried, when i took his alcohol away because he couldnt, when i shelled his peanuts so he wouldn’t go crazy when he stopped smoking.
The pride he felt when i walked across stage with my degree. The pain he felt when i looked him in the eye and he knew he didnt measure up, how much my mom was the greatest gift he had ever received. How much he loved my sister and asked me to promise to watch over until the day i die.
The final words i ever heard him speak were i wish i was half the man you were son and i love you please never forget that.

I ask you today if your relationship with your parents is on the outs, put down your pride and go to them. It took me 6 years after my dad died to appreciate the last 6 months he was with us but im so thankful i got to know him.
Take my advice not my pain. Go to them

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Day 1205 My story is better than yours.

30 05 2016

The end of the school year. You would think that times couldn’t be busier but yes it is possible. I’m trying so hard to appreciate it because it another year that my kids completed school and one year closer to them growing up so fast.  On Saturday my parents would have been married 43 years. When I think of anniversary and holidays the memories flash back so quick and vividly. It’s amazing how just a  few moments in life feel so real and yet so far away. AS the journey continues these things keep hitting but I appreciate them now rather than trying to wish them away.

How many times do we someones highlight reel of life and wish that was us. I wish I had their life, I wish that I could have that kind of marriage.  I just wish my life was like theirs. I know social media has done a horrible job of painting a picture of the best when actually life is not like that. Behind that marriage is a great cover of hate, a fake marriage of two people who haven’t slept in the same bed in 3 years, the vacation they went on is it’s the last thing the family will do together before divorce. That life you want is filled with credit card debt so high its choking them, the house is 4 months behind and the bank is about to take it. I never want to discredit the parts of life that are great. We have to remember that life is full of seasons and sometimes you’re at the top and sometimes at the bottom. When at the bottom we try to put a dress on a pig. No matter what it’s still a pig.

Stop trying to compare someones else’s highlight reel with your normal life. If you put your highlights out there it looks pretty darn good. If you look at my mike on social media or just in general it looks great especially compared to my past. What you don’t see is my struggles that pictures don’t show, when I tell a joke it’s not because I’m laughing but because I need you to laugh so I can feel better. When I talk about my kids it’s because I feel guilty I blew it and lost my temper and want you to think I’m a good parents. when I get to speak to people and offer hope and the reason I said what I did is so I could have hope or feel like I’m accepted. Your right my life is good and the pictures and the stories and the moments I’ve had with God, my kids, my girlfriend, and her kids is amazing. What I have to keep in mind in those moments is that this is my life and its great. If I keep trying to live someone else’s highlight reel my life will slowly erode and there won’t be anymore highlights. Sure we see other people’s stuff we might want but you have no idea what it tool for them to get it or what they had to lose to get it. Comparing our life to someones else is a life sucking leach. Our normal isn’t bad its just hard to be content in the world of right now.  Enjoy your highlight reel, share it be proud of it but stop there. Just remember what it took you to get your highlight reel on track and what you have had to do to keep it going. Your life is amazing if we choose to see it,  despite the bad of it that’s what make the good so great.  Here is to more of the best, but my best 🙂





Day 877 I know what I did wrong as a father

21 06 2015

Happy Sunday and Happy Fathers day. Its one of the best days of the year for me but also one of the toughest.  In about 2 hours I get my babies and my mom, sister and nephew get together to laugh, make fun of my mom because she’s an easy target and remember my dad. Then off to Jennings Louisiana to d0 a 7:00 am radio show with Rock Bottom Outreach team. Busy day but couldn’t ask for more.

This day is great for many. They had the best fathers and can only heap praise on their father. For you you’re in a rare place and hold on to that. For so many Fathers day is a tough day! Maybe because your dad has passed away, he was an abuser, absent, physically or verbally, a womanizer, he was a drunk, a drug user etc. Or your ex was a crappy dad, to your kids, and a bad spouse, and just never made it as a man. More people feel this way and today stinks for many Today  call ur old man. Tell him you love, tell him you forgive him, he Needs to hear it. He knows the mistakes he made but I promise he loves you. It may never be the way you want but bring peace to ur heart. Do it while you can.

Here’s why: The 14 years I was married there a few times I felt I was a good dad but I mean only a few. I struggled so much with my faults, my worthless feelings, a crappy provider, a failure,  bitterness towards my father, I was there physically but not mentally, that it was almost impossible to feel I could have been a good dad. I could promise you this: If you asked me why I wasn’t a good father I could have told you in about 20 secs all the reasons. I always knew. I mean I could spew off to you always why I wasn’t. My heart hurt about it and I wanted to be a great dad so bad. I have never, NEVER, heard a man say when his child was born I can’t wait to be a horrible dad. We usually had bad examples, or friends weren’t good examples so you just get stuck. Fear is crippling and when men aren’t brought up around it, we aren’t born nurturing , we are just handed this precious baby and now your dad. What happens when men are fearful and confused. We run and we already think the mom will be a parent and not screw them up ,so we leave or stop.

The last 6 months of my dad’s life he poured out all of doubts and fears that he had felt about himself and what he thought about who he was as a father. I was 29 years old when died and my whole life I wanted to hear the things he said. He held those thoughts inside him and it literally ate him alive. To hear your father tell you as a broken, scared, fearful 29-year-old boy that he wished he was half the man I was speaks volumes on so many levels. My point is that he knew what he had done wrong, his demons didn’t allow that to change. He told me but he took it to his grave feeling that way.

I had to have my life crumble to pieces right in front of me because of pride, ego, stubbornness and a lack or want to follow God. Through that process of Rock bottom I got to live out everything I had done wrong with my children, I saw what I did to them, but now  by God’s I was able to raise through those ashes, get off of my knees and through the wrong I have worked my butt off to be a great father. I know I still fail my kids but I can say I’m sorry and correct it. My greatest joy in my life, even scared through it ,is knowing I’m a daddy and the love I have for my kids. It took my 36 years to get there but I’m here.

All I can ask is: I don’t know your exact situation with your dad, if he’s alive you have no idea how bad he’s beating himself up over the mistakes he made with you. Today is a day to put a stop to the constant reminder of his failures. Call him, go see him, tell him you forgive and you love him. It may never change one thing but telling him those things is for you so you can move  on. He does love you and might have the worst way in the world of showing it but maybe its time to let him know. God’s in control of how he handles it, pray for him and let your heat finally be at peace.

Thanks for reading!! Love ya





Day 867 My comfort zone stinks

11 06 2015

I get asked a lot what does the Day whatever in topic of your blog mean. Its how many days ago that I put the stake in the ground and said my life changes now. I took a 29 hour round trip to Virginia by car and it was then when you spend that much time by yourself that you either decide I can live the way I was or you change it. Its been one heck of ride so far and only God knows where its going So here’s to-day 867.

Everybody knows what a comfort zone is: Going to the same restaurant, ordering the same food, setting in the same place at church, taking the same road at church, when you go to get together always acting the same, sitting by the same people. I stopped that comfort zone stuff a while back. I’m not talking about that stuff. I’m talking about those life alternating comfort zones we stick in.

I’m talking about jobs, relationships, how we parent, how we choose to believe in faith, or not believe, and how we see ourselves. I’m getting better making my relationships with the people I love better but striking out and making more not so much. I would tell you I’m faithful but most days I still believe the same old way. I get stuck because if I stick with what I know nothing will hurt worse.

We all know that faith is not seeing but believing. I can preach it really well I just don’t follow it all the time, okay most time. I want to believe it so much but my dumb mind trash is right there telling me don’t worry your good where you’re at. 1 month ago the job I had that I wanted to quit for a year came to end. I was worried because now what and I was mad that I didn’t make the change before then. The comfort of knowing everyday what I was doing and where I was going was great, but it was also sapping the life out of me. So my buddy Jim and I talked put a plan together and 1 month from then God has opened doors and I mean opened them so wide that even the most stubborn person (me) would miss them. God just wants me to trust him. I mean my Lord I’ve gone to trying to take my life to breathing life into others just by believing that God is bigger than me. If he can do that why won’t I let him with all parts of my life. Well I still at times have little god complex because I know better. (insert a big laugh here). Im sure God slaps his forward and says really. Are you serious were doing this again and I just look up and give a cheesy smile.

The comfort zone that I haven’t got out of is relationships. Let me be honest the loneliness I feel at times is so overwhelming I feel I can’t breathe. I have put out the crappiest effort in finding someone. It’s not that I can’t, I could right now. I sit in my comfort zone that this wall I built up isn’t so bad and whoever she is will just knock it over. Well if I keep adding bricks a woman will get tired. I essentially have given up. Everyone tells me the right one will appear she may appear but if I don’t speak to her she’s going to keep walking and probably fast. Tuesday in counseling I walked out content finally. Why? I was told “just say yes” that encompasses so much in my life on so many levels but in this case it was about saying yes to a relationship. I’m not sure why the light bulb came on so strong but it did. Saying yes means that if I want my life to change that I will get out of my comfort zone and when I do life only gets better. Besides a relationship my life is pretty good, but a relationship , a true loving sacrifice by both people puts a nice bow on it.

I know this blog reaches many about your comfort zone. I know two people reading it now probably telling me to shut up Tyler I know I know.  Saying yes maybe scary but truthfully what do you have to lose. God will carry you if you allow it. Say yes and tell your comfort zone to take a hike.





Day 867 My comfort zone stinks

11 06 2015

I get asked a lot what does the Day whatever in topic of your blog mean. Its how many days ago that I put the stake in the ground and said my life changes now. I took a 29 hour round trip to Virginia by car and it was then when you spend that much time by yourself that you either decide I can live the way I was or you change it. Its been one heck of ride so far and only God knows where its going So here’s to-day 867.

Everybody knows what a comfort zone is: Going to the same restaurant, ordering the same food, setting in the same place at church, taking the same road at church, when you go to get together always acting the same, sitting by the same people. I stopped that comfort zone stuff a while back. I’m not talking about that stuff. I’m talking about those life alternating comfort zones we stick in.

I’m talking about jobs, relationships, how we parent, how we choose to believe in faith, or not believe, and how we see ourselves. I’m getting better making my relationships with the people I love better but striking out and making more not so much. I would tell you I’m faithful but most days I still believe the same old way. I get stuck because if I stick with what I know nothing will hurt worse.

We all know that faith is not seeing but believing. I can preach it really well I just don’t follow it all the time, okay most time. I want to believe it so much but my dumb mind trash is right there telling me don’t worry your good where you’re at. 1 month ago the job I had that I wanted to quit for a year came to end. I was worried because now what and I was mad that I didn’t make the change before then. The comfort of knowing everyday what I was doing and where I was going was great, but it was also sapping the life out of me. So my buddy Jim and I talked put a plan together and 1 month from then God has opened doors and I mean opened them so wide that even the most stubborn person (me) would miss them. God just wants me to trust him. I mean my Lord I’ve gone to trying to take my life to breathing life into others just by believing that God is bigger than me. If he can do that why won’t I let him with all parts of my life. Well I still at times have little god complex because I know better. (insert a big laugh here). Im sure God slaps his forward and says really. Are you serious were doing this again and I just look up and give a cheesy smile.

The comfort zone that I haven’t got out of is relationships. Let me be honest the loneliness I feel at times is so overwhelming I feel I can’t breathe. I have put out the crappiest effort in finding someone. It’s not that I can’t, I could right now. I sit in my comfort zone that this wall I built up isn’t so bad and whoever she is will just knock it over. Well if I keep adding bricks a woman will get tired. I essentially have given up. Everyone tells me the right one will appear she may appear but if I don’t speak to her she’s going to keep walking and probably fast. Tuesday in counseling I walked out content finally. Why? I was told “just say yes” that encompasses so much in my life on so many levels but in this case it was about saying yes to a relationship. I’m not sure why the light bulb came on so strong but it did. Saying yes means that if I want my life to change that I will get out of my comfort zone and when I do life only gets better. Besides a relationship my life is pretty good, but a relationship , a true loving sacrifice by both people puts a nice bow on it.

I know this blog reaches many about your comfort zone. I know two people reading it now probably telling me to shut up Tyler I know I know.  Saying yes maybe scary but truthfully what do you have to lose. God will carry you if you allow it. Say yes and tell your comfort zone to take a hike.





Day 845 Divorce is the only answer

20 05 2015

I’ve tried to tell my friends that aren’t in Texas how much we have received in two months. I know after 4 years of drought floods come but hey were good now. Lets send the rain to California. One lake was 32 feet down in February which means on 21% of it was filled. After lasts night rain it 9 feet down. The lake that is closet to us was 12 feet down and now its 6 feet above level.  What it means is that we took our rain dance to far. Milli Vanilli said it best Blame it on the rain. Okay I’m sorry I typed that out but hopefully you laughed.

If you have read my blog for very long you know I despise divorce. Not only for the adults but the kids are never the same. I could give you stats and blah blah about why about keeping you family in tact is best but I’m sure you’ve heard it all.  I’m a proponent for fighting to the bitter end (no pun intended) to save your family. I know because I did it. I wasn’t perfect in trying to plug all the wholes in the boat but when it was over I knew I did everything within what God gave me to save my marriage. I walked away with no regrets. I mean none. The church and Christians have done a horrible thing to divorcees to shame them about divorce and quoting what the bible says. I can read my bible and I know what it says about divorce but I can also show you in the bible where God dislikes bad marriage and the the life we have. God never wanted us miserable, broken or hopeless. That’s a promise! The broad paint brush that people use is so funny because if you bring up their sin they want to move on from that and just focus on what divorce is doing. I’m here to give another side.

Yes there are exceptions to every rule so lets through that out. 1.Sometimes people suck at being married. They just aren’t or won’t be capable of being faithful. Sure you can get help but they usually follow what they saw growing up and that circle hasn’t been broken yet. Just because God created us to be together doesn’t mean everyone is cut out for it. If you get married in your teens or early 20’s your destined to fail. You change so much in your 20’s that by the time you get to 30 you have no idea who the heck is the person you married is. I know this for a fact. The ones that married in there 20’s (again not all) have to trick up their life sexually etc.. with a job that travels so they didn’t see each other. 3.God has left their marriage- You got married in a church and that was the last time you were there,  or you went to church so your neighbor saw you went but God is page 20 of your newspaper.

4. Its takes two to be successful in a marriage and especially if you’re trying to repair it. YOU cannot fix a marriage if you’re the only one getting help because YOU CANT CHANGE SOMEONE ELSE. They can change but you can’t change them. If you divorce someone because the snore you’re an idiot. Everybody has things that the other person isn’t going to like. That’s the magic of marriage is taking the difference in two opposite people and make a beautiful cracked vase out of it.

If your physically being abused get out now. That typically doesn’t change and once the first punch is thrown it only gets easier to continue for you to be the punching bag of choice. Otherwise I say this, alcoholism, verbal abuse ( thats a 2 way street), drugs, family curses ,relatives, religious difference, greed, laziness, selfish etc.. With each one of these and more you don’t just leave your spouse. The vows said for better and worse. Not this is getting hard now leave. You fight your butt off to love, guide,  get counseling, direct, lead, hug, cry, fear for your spouse but sometimes after you have given your all. It’s okay to hang up and move on. People with demons won’t change, it’s always someone else  fault and I promise you have to hit Rock Bottom and lose it all to realize what you had. Some will never change and that’s not your fault. If you have given it your all God’s going to love you no matter what. He knows if you truly gave it your all or when it got tough you just quit.

Your only a failure in life when you don’t try! You get married it gets hard you quit, yes then you failed. Im tired of knowing that I have a lot of great people getting beat down because they got divorced. I know they tried and I know how bad your heart hurts, from betrayal, failed dreams, broken souls kids tears. If you have never been down the journey of being divorced it’s probably better you stay in your glass house and keep your mouth shut.  To my divorced peeps. Mend the heart, open it up again and find someone who didn’t quit and fought their butt off then ask God to show you his way and not your own.

SOAPBOX OVER.





Day 845 Divorce is the only answer

20 05 2015

I’ve tried to tell my friends that aren’t in Texas how much we have received in two months. I know after 4 years of drought floods come but hey were good now. Lets send the rain to California. One lake was 32 feet down in February which means on 21% of it was filled. After lasts night rain it 9 feet down. The lake that is closet to us was 12 feet down and now its 6 feet above level.  What it means is that we took our rain dance to far. Milli Vanilli said it best Blame it on the rain. Okay I’m sorry I typed that out but hopefully you laughed.

If you have read my blog for very long you know I despise divorce. Not only for the adults but the kids are never the same. I could give you stats and blah blah about why about keeping you family in tact is best but I’m sure you’ve heard it all.  I’m a proponent for fighting to the bitter end (no pun intended) to save your family. I know because I did it. I wasn’t perfect in trying to plug all the wholes in the boat but when it was over I knew I did everything within what God gave me to save my marriage. I walked away with no regrets. I mean none. The church and Christians have done a horrible thing to divorcees to shame them about divorce and quoting what the bible says. I can read my bible and I know what it says about divorce but I can also show you in the bible where God dislikes bad marriage and the the life we have. God never wanted us miserable, broken or hopeless. That’s a promise! The broad paint brush that people use is so funny because if you bring up their sin they want to move on from that and just focus on what divorce is doing. I’m here to give another side.

Yes there are exceptions to every rule so lets through that out. 1.Sometimes people suck at being married. They just aren’t or won’t be capable of being faithful. Sure you can get help but they usually follow what they saw growing up and that circle hasn’t been broken yet. Just because God created us to be together doesn’t mean everyone is cut out for it. If you get married in your teens or early 20’s your destined to fail. You change so much in your 20’s that by the time you get to 30 you have no idea who the heck is the person you married is. I know this for a fact. The ones that married in there 20’s (again not all) have to trick up their life sexually etc.. with a job that travels so they didn’t see each other. 3.God has left their marriage- You got married in a church and that was the last time you were there,  or you went to church so your neighbor saw you went but God is page 20 of your newspaper.

4. Its takes two to be successful in a marriage and especially if you’re trying to repair it. YOU cannot fix a marriage if you’re the only one getting help because YOU CANT CHANGE SOMEONE ELSE. They can change but you can’t change them. If you divorce someone because the snore you’re an idiot. Everybody has things that the other person isn’t going to like. That’s the magic of marriage is taking the difference in two opposite people and make a beautiful cracked vase out of it.

If your physically being abused get out now. That typically doesn’t change and once the first punch is thrown it only gets easier to continue for you to be the punching bag of choice. Otherwise I say this, alcoholism, verbal abuse ( thats a 2 way street), drugs, family curses ,relatives, religious difference, greed, laziness, selfish etc.. With each one of these and more you don’t just leave your spouse. The vows said for better and worse. Not this is getting hard now leave. You fight your butt off to love, guide,  get counseling, direct, lead, hug, cry, fear for your spouse but sometimes after you have given your all. It’s okay to hang up and move on. People with demons won’t change, it’s always someone else  fault and I promise you have to hit Rock Bottom and lose it all to realize what you had. Some will never change and that’s not your fault. If you have given it your all God’s going to love you no matter what. He knows if you truly gave it your all or when it got tough you just quit.

Your only a failure in life when you don’t try! You get married it gets hard you quit, yes then you failed. Im tired of knowing that I have a lot of great people getting beat down because they got divorced. I know they tried and I know how bad your heart hurts, from betrayal, failed dreams, broken souls kids tears. If you have never been down the journey of being divorced it’s probably better you stay in your glass house and keep your mouth shut.  To my divorced peeps. Mend the heart, open it up again and find someone who didn’t quit and fought their butt off then ask God to show you his way and not your own.

SOAPBOX OVER.








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