Day 1808 You choose your hell

5 06 2018

Hello blog peeps. In the airport people watching getting ready to head to Florida. I should get paid to people watch, what  an awesome sport.

I m trying to find my purpose and slowly I think I am. I want to serve young men and women and give them hope that they can change. We have all been told people don’t change well that’s the biggest line of crap we have ever been fed. If someone tells you that it’s the hardest thing you will ever do that may not be enough to tell someone, you have to show them.

We all have to face our mistakes either out loud in a blog, group, with the ones me hurt or in our own silent hell,  My hell which is still going on is every Friday afternoon when I have dropped off my kids to go to their moms and I have the turn-key hell. Turn key hell= When I get to my house door and I open the door and the no sound, emptiness feeling of my house.  I’m about to walk into without the laughing of my kids, the pushing of my kids, the no cartoons, the i don’t want to eat that, Can I have more, I m bored, I don’t want to brush my teeth and mostly the I love you daddy. It’s the worst feeling in the world and I haven’t got used to that yet. My dog greets me and she looks for the kids and I tell her no Vaida next Friday and she walks over to her bed because she misses them. There is no women to say how was your day, the smell of a women, the we need to do this, can you go do this or a hug or kiss. So I put my bag down in the chair and every time I hope for a different feeling but I have to stop when the door closes behind me take a deep breath and realize this is the hell you created. The great thing is I have the feeling because I will remember it. You can’t make the mistakes that we all do and not expect the to be repercussions. So men if you don’t deal with your crap, ego, your pride, you fear and your left with and empty house don’t blame anyone expect yourself. Man up, there are to many resources for you to have to say at 60 I’m sorry for what I didn’t do, because it can be done. Or keep doing what you’re doing, be separated from your kids, have the hollow empty feeling of loss that can only be stitched up, and go into the empty, quite, lonely hell that you created. It will happen you’re not one of the stats that gets away with it. I can promise that the Friday turn-key hell is worse than any hell she, or your ego supposedly has put you through.

That was it in a nutshell. I don’t want anyone to feel that you can’t change and you cant restore. AS NIKE SAYS: JUST DO IT

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Day 474 What the eyes have seen FINAL

19 05 2014

I had a really cool weekend. I need a long nap but I lived it full this weekend. I got to speak again for Rock Bottom Outreach. I felt like myself and that my words really carried some meaning. I also went to the horses races mostly to see if California Chrome could attempt to win the Triple Crown. I really believe in two weeks we will have the first triple crown winner in many years. It’s unbelievable how much money is generated in horse racing. Now if I could  just own a horse!

I really appreciate all the responses I have gotten to this series of blogs I have been writing. Lots of encouragement and questions. When you traveled as much as I did for work you will have an experience where you think you may day in an airplane, We just dropped 15K feet in 13 seconds. I made my final call and left a VM telling my ex it was over and I loved her. You life will really flash before your eyes. When you travel just know the strongest become weak. Never get close to the point of being alone with people who you travel to all the time. If you have doubts on your wedding day end it then not later.If you think that something that happens early in a relationship wont care to the end your wrong. Just take the damn trip! It’s just money don’t complain just buy it for her. Take the guy trip it’s about memories and stories not woulda shoulda coulda. If they tell you Blair Witch Project will make you sick believe them. Just don’t drink the water in Mexico. Beer before liquor does make you sick! Trust but verify. Then check again. Go see your parents whenever you can because sometimes tomorrow doesn’t come. If someone offers you a can’t miss financial opportunity at least look at it because it could be worth millions. Love is not a feeling its a decision and some days you don’t have it but that’s , okay. Never accept 2nd best. Never give up on anyone because they could give up on you! Say your sorry and meant. Never tell someone you love them when you don’t. Never expect a pat on the back for the good you have done.  Learn to be alone but don’t isolate. Never lie to your kids. Tell you kids how awesome they are all the time. If they ask to pick them up do it because they grow up before your eyes. Just ask that person out all they can do is say no. Sometimes trust yourself you don’t have to smell it to know its gross.  Finally, be vulnerable, trust, laugh until it hurts, stop taking the same road all the time, do something different’ always say hi to someone you never know how that can change their life, compliment yourself, because if you don’t believe nobody will, say yes and not no, kiss like its your last, talk to God out loud, say thank you, and make  amends with anyone that you think you need to.





Day 474 What the eyes have seen FINAL

18 05 2014

I had a really cool weekend. I need a long nap but I lived it full this weekend. I got to speak again for Rock Bottom Outreach. I felt like myself and that my words really carried some meaning. I also went to the horses races mostly to see if California Chrome could attempt to win the Triple Crown. I really believe in two weeks we will have the first triple crown winner in many years. It’s unbelievable how much money is generated in horse racing. Now if I could  just own a horse!

I really appreciate all the responses I have gotten to this series of blogs I have been writing. Lots of encouragement and questions. When you traveled as much as I did for work you will have an experience where you think you may day in an airplane, We just dropped 15K feet in 13 seconds. I made my final call and left a VM telling my ex it was over and I loved her. You life will really flash before your eyes. When you travel just know the strongest become weak. Never get close to the point of being alone with people who you travel to all the time. If you have doubts on your wedding day end it then not later.If you think that something that happens early in a relationship wont care to the end your wrong. Just take the damn trip! It’s just money don’t complain just buy it for her. Take the guy trip it’s about memories and stories not woulda shoulda coulda. If they tell you Blair Witch Project will make you sick believe them. Just don’t drink the water in Mexico. Beer before liquor does make you sick! Trust but verify. Then check again. Go see your parents whenever you can because sometimes tomorrow doesn’t come. If someone offers you a can’t miss financial opportunity at least look at it because it could be worth millions. Love is not a feeling its a decision and some days you don’t have it but that’s , okay. Never accept 2nd best. Never give up on anyone because they could give up on you! Say your sorry and meant. Never tell someone you love them when you don’t. Never expect a pat on the back for the good you have done.  Learn to be alone but don’t isolate. Never lie to your kids. Tell you kids how awesome they are all the time. If they ask to pick them up do it because they grow up before your eyes. Just ask that person out all they can do is say no. Sometimes trust yourself you don’t have to smell it to know its gross.  Finally, be vulnerable, trust, laugh until it hurts, stop taking the same road all the time, do something different’ always say hi to someone you never know how that can change their life, compliment yourself, because if you don’t believe nobody will, say yes and not no, kiss like its your last, talk to God out loud, say thank you, and make  amends with anyone that you think you need to.





Day 122 Flattery Vs Compliment

7 05 2013

Today is a great day in my life my baby girl turned 11. She was born at 8:50 pm and I remember the all out Oh my God moment and the fact that I was a father to the most beautiful little girl who was born with more hair than me.  She has been an amazing child through the divorce with being honest and taking things in stride and telling us both when she is bothered by something. She is a really funny, witty little girl and laughs at things she shouldn’t because I   thought they were above her level. She is the most caring and giving child and today I got to spend the evening with her and my son. Just looking at her melts my  heart. I know the teenage years are coming but for today it was a beautiful day to spend with a beautiful little lady.

I m a man who gives tons of compliments. I think it’s so important to tell people the honest truth about themselves. We are really good at telling people the bad but hardly the good. There is a difference though in flattery and compliments. They say flattery gets you know where but believe me you give something a tad bit of flattery and you can get a lot of things you want but it’s usually not good.

My definition is flattery your trying to get something and a compliment your trying to give something. Dictionary.com says

Flattery is:excessive or insincere praise and a compliment  is:
a formal act or expression of civility, respect, or regard I use to give flattery typically to get something sexual or get someone to do something for me. People do catch on to flattery and people with say that guy is full of crap or he always just wants something. Pay a compliment and it can stay with someone forever. Remember the way it made you feel.

Flattery you kiss a lot of a%& and some people want to hear it but shallow they are. A complement people want to hear and sometimes need to. Giving sincere compliments is a powerful tool for creating and building relationships. Flattery destroys them. Praise rightfully earned helps develop the self-esteem of those we care about. Insincere flattery (which may be an oxymoron since flattery is by definition insincere) makes us feel less worthwhile, makes us feel hurt and used and less trusting of the flatterer. The flattery may for a short time make one feel good but ultimately it will make that same person feel empty and used. The Bible is full of verses warning against falling into the trap of either giving or receiving flattery.

With that your all so beautiful !! lol

 








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