Day 1566 Why didn’t you just ask

8 06 2017

Hello world: On Tuesday of this week I approved my book and it went to the printer. it took me 2.5 years to decided I was worth writing a book and anyone would read it. Yes Im excited but having it my hands will feel amazing. You better buy a copy pretty please.

Why? One of the most thought-provoking questions we can ask? On the other end is the answer. Sometimes its good and sometimes it’s not. So why do we stop asking Why as an adult. A few reasons I believe: We don’t care, the answer is going to hurt, we think we already know the answer. Little kids ask why all the time yes we get tired of hearing why and finally because we said so. That doesn’t stop them though.  Brian Dodge was a speaker I heard once and he said as an adult when we stop asking why our learning is over. How scary is that? So then we go to the famous art of assuming. Every time I assumed I was wrong. Do you remember the last time someone said Why didn’t you just ask me? You say I don’t know and walk away like why didn’t I just ask?

I’ll agree that when you ask sometimes the answer is awful. I asked my ex-wife when it was over do you love me anymore. She said no. My heart dropped to me knees I felt sick but I knew I needed to hear it. In college I asked a girl who was out of my league that I flirted with forever why wouldn’t you go out with me. She looked me in the eye and said I will you just have to ask me.

Why is  gathering wisdom, understanding, caring and respect. So the next time you don’t ask why just remember this is what you’re missing out on:

Showing someone you care, asking why is letting them you took time out for them their special, To eliminate confusion, To demonstrate humility to another, To enable a person to discover answers for themselves, To gain empathy through better understanding another’s view, To begin a relationship, To strengthen a relationship, To gain a person’s attention, To solve a problem.

Why you don’t ask these things are also possible: To find a culprit, To embarrass and shame, To appear superior, to create fear, To manipulate, To play the victim, as in, “Why is this happening to me?

Every time I don’t ask why I miss out on something. If you know me I ask a lot of questions not because I’m nosy but I care. I want to know you, I want to know what makes you tick, you’re special but I don’t know why until I know you. Its called conversation which I know is a dying art, but my best relationships are the ones where I know why and Im talking the dirty why too.

Why ask why. We need to know, someone needs to know you care. Love is asking why. Sometimes you don’t want to the but you might be pleasantly surprised what the answer really is.





Day 1544 Superman needs to wash his cape

17 05 2017

Hi Blog world well its Texas so you know its hot and humid. You walk outside after a shower you smell like a wet puppy and your pores look like clear plastic bowls. At least you can get a good tan and the smell of cooked bacon is rampant.

A sincere thank you for those who read my thoughts. To be honest it feels good when someone tell your thoughts, or being authentic and real helped me. Men don’t do what you do so you provide hope! When I die I hope the line is out the door and every person would say, he loved me, he was weird, honest, real and he provided me hope on my worst days. If that happens I left behind an amazing legacy. If I haven’t  yet I hope to do that soon.

Super man had a cape a pretty cool cape actually. Superman was 6th Halloween costume and when it was over I still wore the cape Sometimes I was clothed and sometimes I wasn’t but that’s another blog. The point is once I put that cape on I could do anything, I could fly, rescue my dog, bury my hot wheels deep in the dirt and find them, almost catch a squirrel, for 5 yards I was faster than a car. Point is with it on I could do anything it was my badge of honor. It had to be washed sometimes because it went everywhere with me and it went from  red to a dark brown. When I took it off I was just Normal Jason Tyler Wood. Nothing to save, no super hero, no one to cheer me on. So I needed the cape I thought.

10 years old my dad came to me and said son you’re the man of the family. I put on a permanent cape but I didn’t know it at the time. I put on a cape because my dad donated his to me. It was my badge, it was me rescuing everyone, me saving everything that need to be saved, me putting the world on my shoulders. A 10-year-old boy  trying to figure out a world but I didn’t even know how to shave. I wore it well though, my parents were proud of me told me I was doing a good job. I couldn’t let them down, I couldn’t take my cape off and wash it. I mean my family and world needed me. I couldn’t let myself down. This imaginary cape I was wearing my identity. I should be a 10 year old boy doing 10 year old boy stuff. I was busy trying to be responsible all the time, fixing adult problems and figuring out a way to get my family out of the hell it was in. At the same time developing an anger problem because I didn’t have the answers, fighting my way out of problems, loving people so they would love but knowing how to. I prayed people would like me and see what I was doing was awesome. They would shout my name to my greatness. I was creating the Tyler idol.

I could go through every year and tell you how I wore the cape without washing it,  how it was tattered, had holes in but I was going to retire it or even take it off. August 27th 2011 the cape fell without my wanting it to and I tried to take my life.  The cape and I ran out of answers. I looked at and wanted to put it back on but didn’t know how to tie it around my neck anymore. Who was I , I had no identity, my cape was destroyed but I didn’t know what to do without it.

The closer I’ve got to God I realize he’s my cape. I thought for the longest time he was my Kryptonite but I was so wrong. The problem is sometimes the 6-year-old boy comes out in me and I put on a cape. I try to rescue everything again, I want to save everything. I put everyone’s burden on me and then I trip over the cape.

I hope you get the story: I know to many people who wear capes everyday. Its tiring, it hurts and it makes life miserable. We weren’t meant to wear a cape, that’s for comic book hero’s.  Untie your cape, wash it, and put it in a nice box and store it. You don’t have to be Superman there’s  one superman and he will carry our cape.

No matter how strong you are it’s better to read about superman that carrying the burden of trying to be. This Halloween go as  adult superman and put on that cape enjoy it but then take it off and realize those days of pretending are over. Its time to live again.





Day 466 Honesty is the liar

21 04 2014

This past week was my toughest as a single parent yet. My daughter had surgery and went from Miss independent to totally needy. I dealt with a roller coaster of emotions with her having the surgery, was I doing a good enough job taking care of her, what I still being a good daddy to my son and still doing all the things you have to do. My half-sister then became very sick and they had to sedate her and put her on a ventilator. Honestly I know I’m whining and sound but I really don’t care if you think that  because it was just a struggle. I think I handle it okay on the outside but inside it hurt pretty bad. To top it off I have realized that if you’re not getting one of your love language filled your going to be out of sorts. Mine is physical touch and quality time. Its been 3 years and I can tell I need it. This week would have been great to be able to just sit down with someone on the couch and hold their hand and have them listen to me or say nothing and just be content. Oh well its a new week so back to be awesome!!! lol

If you know me I’m blatantly honest sometimes I have been told to honest. That maybe one of the dumbest things I have ever heard but I have. The past two weeks I have these things. Please be honest with me no matter how bad it hurts. Okay are you sure? Then I tell them and I get I didn’t think you would do it and that really hurt.  Or another: You should never be that honest with someone it only causes problems. Another: Don’t you know people can’t handle the truth so just tell them what makes them feel better. Or my favorite of this week: You made the mistake you don’t have to make it worse by telling the truth.

Yes all of those are true. I’m not saying everyone but society has a whole has got so used to lying that honesty is actually the liar. People would rather be lied to that actually hear the truth. Have you ever noticed that when people catch someone in a lie they say well that’s just who they are, but if you tell the truth they are actually mad and say can you believe the nerve of that asshole. We lie to ourselves so much that we begin to believe it so why should we let someone else tell us the truth. This is a problem that you can see everywhere you go and almost every situation you’re in.  We have accepted lying as the correct behavior. Even though we say always tell the truth and be honest with me that’s not what people want to hear. My response to them is please tell me the last time being honest was wrong. Just because it hurts doesn’t make it wrong it makes it what you need to hear. If you cry or get pissed maybe that’s what you need so you can correct  whatever it is that’s ailing you. Yes how you put something should be thought of too, and the truth hurts, but the truth can always set you free. If you tell someone the truth and they don’t want to have anything to do with you so what. Move on if not your going to have the hell to pay now or later.

If you want me to instantly shove you aside lie to me. If I did something wrong, I pissed you off, I hurt your feelings, I was rude. Please tell me how I react to it is my problem not yours. I’m not perfect but I can’t fix something if I don’t know about it. I appreciate honesty and yes it does hurt. If you lie to me I lose respect for you and will not have you in my life. I can find plenty of liars what I need are those people who care enough about me to be real. Being real allows relationships to grow and bonds to be cemented. Why do we teach our kids not to lie but as adults we will do it without thinking about. If honesty is a liar take a deep look at your relationships and see why they struggle. I bet you know the answer now.





Day 466 Honesty is the liar

20 04 2014

This past week was my toughest as a single parent yet. My daughter had surgery and went from Miss independent to totally needy. I dealt with a roller coaster of emotions with her having the surgery, was I doing a good enough job taking care of her, what I still being a good daddy to my son and still doing all the things you have to do. My half-sister then became very sick and they had to sedate her and put her on a ventilator. Honestly I know I’m whining and sound but I really don’t care if you think that  because it was just a struggle. I think I handle it okay on the outside but inside it hurt pretty bad. To top it off I have realized that if you’re not getting one of your love language filled your going to be out of sorts. Mine is physical touch and quality time. Its been 3 years and I can tell I need it. This week would have been great to be able to just sit down with someone on the couch and hold their hand and have them listen to me or say nothing and just be content. Oh well its a new week so back to be awesome!!! lol

If you know me I’m blatantly honest sometimes I have been told to honest. That maybe one of the dumbest things I have ever heard but I have. The past two weeks I have these things. Please be honest with me no matter how bad it hurts. Okay are you sure? Then I tell them and I get I didn’t think you would do it and that really hurt.  Or another: You should never be that honest with someone it only causes problems. Another: Don’t you know people can’t handle the truth so just tell them what makes them feel better. Or my favorite of this week: You made the mistake you don’t have to make it worse by telling the truth.

Yes all of those are true. I’m not saying everyone but society has a whole has got so used to lying that honesty is actually the liar. People would rather be lied to that actually hear the truth. Have you ever noticed that when people catch someone in a lie they say well that’s just who they are, but if you tell the truth they are actually mad and say can you believe the nerve of that asshole. We lie to ourselves so much that we begin to believe it so why should we let someone else tell us the truth. This is a problem that you can see everywhere you go and almost every situation you’re in.  We have accepted lying as the correct behavior. Even though we say always tell the truth and be honest with me that’s not what people want to hear. My response to them is please tell me the last time being honest was wrong. Just because it hurts doesn’t make it wrong it makes it what you need to hear. If you cry or get pissed maybe that’s what you need so you can correct  whatever it is that’s ailing you. Yes how you put something should be thought of too, and the truth hurts, but the truth can always set you free. If you tell someone the truth and they don’t want to have anything to do with you so what. Move on if not your going to have the hell to pay now or later.

If you want me to instantly shove you aside lie to me. If I did something wrong, I pissed you off, I hurt your feelings, I was rude. Please tell me how I react to it is my problem not yours. I’m not perfect but I can’t fix something if I don’t know about it. I appreciate honesty and yes it does hurt. If you lie to me I lose respect for you and will not have you in my life. I can find plenty of liars what I need are those people who care enough about me to be real. Being real allows relationships to grow and bonds to be cemented. Why do we teach our kids not to lie but as adults we will do it without thinking about. If honesty is a liar take a deep look at your relationships and see why they struggle. I bet you know the answer now.








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