Day 56 Hurt or Injured

17 10 2012

I owe a big apology to my blog  readers. I should have not said a word last night and just waited until today and wrote. I guess I wanted someone to feel sorry for me because I was feeling sorry for myself. Lesson learned. Today has been a bit better but not a lot but on with the show.

I was an athlete and you have to either play injured or your to hurt. There is a difference and the difference is this. If your injured maybe you have a bad bruise or you got a stinger, a bruised ego, dislocated finger or sprained ankle. You can play with all of those. Pain is what you make it. You can play through and injury but if your hurt you can’t or most can’t. You broke an ankle, concussion, tore acl etc. I was one that if you couldn’t pull me off the field. I had an extremely high pain tolerance, tore ACL, dislocated elbow, 35 stitches, etc.. It wasn’t smart to do this as I sit her knowing it as I sit here and type. I m going somewhere so wait just a second. In life do you play hurt or injured?

We all play injured from a wound of words, a friend that betrays us, a spouse who calls us names, a parent that says something out their pain. We live injured daily. We can actually get over these in a day or 2. They hurt and sometimes in our day we feel we can’t go on but then we dust off and pick back up. It sticks with us for a week or two but eventually we are better with prayer, meditation or whatever it is. son, brother, friend, spouse

No matter how bad we want we can’t live the life we are destined to if we are hurt. Unable to function in a capacity that allows us to be the person God created for us to be. I witnessed this first hand yesterday. I had the worst day I have had in months. I thought I had handled some of my hurts. I realized that I have a ton more work to do. I actually felt crippled yesterday. I felt I couldn’t put one foot in front of the other. My inadequacies came rushing back, along with my self-esteem, and my pain dealing with a death, my lack of confidence and my divorce. I can try to keep tricking myself or I can call out for help. I pulled away yesterday like I had in the past and pushed people away. I didn’t want to burden them. I m hurt but recognizing my pain rather than shoving it under a rug. Sometimes the surgery we have been avoiding for the longest time is their waiting so we can truly heal. Listen to the greatest Dr. ever created the man upstairs he’s never wrong with his diagnosis.

To my friend Jen L. thank you for taking the time out of your day to just listen.

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