Day 1566 Why didn’t you just ask

8 06 2017

Hello world: On Tuesday of this week I approved my book and it went to the printer. it took me 2.5 years to decided I was worth writing a book and anyone would read it. Yes Im excited but having it my hands will feel amazing. You better buy a copy pretty please.

Why? One of the most thought-provoking questions we can ask? On the other end is the answer. Sometimes its good and sometimes it’s not. So why do we stop asking Why as an adult. A few reasons I believe: We don’t care, the answer is going to hurt, we think we already know the answer. Little kids ask why all the time yes we get tired of hearing why and finally because we said so. That doesn’t stop them though.  Brian Dodge was a speaker I heard once and he said as an adult when we stop asking why our learning is over. How scary is that? So then we go to the famous art of assuming. Every time I assumed I was wrong. Do you remember the last time someone said Why didn’t you just ask me? You say I don’t know and walk away like why didn’t I just ask?

I’ll agree that when you ask sometimes the answer is awful. I asked my ex-wife when it was over do you love me anymore. She said no. My heart dropped to me knees I felt sick but I knew I needed to hear it. In college I asked a girl who was out of my league that I flirted with forever why wouldn’t you go out with me. She looked me in the eye and said I will you just have to ask me.

Why is  gathering wisdom, understanding, caring and respect. So the next time you don’t ask why just remember this is what you’re missing out on:

Showing someone you care, asking why is letting them you took time out for them their special, To eliminate confusion, To demonstrate humility to another, To enable a person to discover answers for themselves, To gain empathy through better understanding another’s view, To begin a relationship, To strengthen a relationship, To gain a person’s attention, To solve a problem.

Why you don’t ask these things are also possible: To find a culprit, To embarrass and shame, To appear superior, to create fear, To manipulate, To play the victim, as in, “Why is this happening to me?

Every time I don’t ask why I miss out on something. If you know me I ask a lot of questions not because I’m nosy but I care. I want to know you, I want to know what makes you tick, you’re special but I don’t know why until I know you. Its called conversation which I know is a dying art, but my best relationships are the ones where I know why and Im talking the dirty why too.

Why ask why. We need to know, someone needs to know you care. Love is asking why. Sometimes you don’t want to the but you might be pleasantly surprised what the answer really is.

Day 780 Sing loud and out of key

16 03 2015

My babies are in Disney this week with their mom. Its my week to have them so needless to say I miss them but they’re  having a blast.  Getting pictures of them  is bitter-sweet because I would love to be making the memories with them but this is where in divorce you put down your crap and remember who it’s for.

When I started writing this blog 2.6 years ago I shared some intimate stuff but you the reader still only got 15% of the experience. I meet people all the time either past friends or new people who say hey I read you blog and I know you must have a hard time dealing with this or your really good at that. I always laugh either way because you don’t know me. I have so much more to me that I don’t put on here because I either I can’t, I don’t understand or really its none of your business. We always think we know so much about people based on looks, what they post on Facebook, when we see them at church etc… Bottom-line until you are living life with them you have no clue. Your free to judge but when you step in a bear trap remember it hurts. Most of the time when you assume you wind up with a hand full of crap. That’s just a friendly reminder to worry about your life because I assume you have enough to handle!! 🙂

I have many diverse group sets of friends. High school,college, fraternity, my low down, Rugby college and mens league, men’s group, church, and Rock bottom, each group has got me through different aspects of my life or getting me through. Each has seen me but very few know  and I always liked it that way. Now that I’m getting in a different place in my life Im getting people who are like me. If you know me I really want you to like me and if you don’t I feel bad for about 5 minutes. I don’t purposely go about trying to piss you off or do things that you would think wow what a big jerk. Because I live my life the way I do I truly don’t care what you think of me or my decisions. No matter what I do you will judge and have an opinion. If I owe you an apology I’m the first to say I’m sorry and the last to hold a grudge. What I love about me is the people I roll with now. Doing a pub crawl Saturday one of the people in the group that I know fairly well said you just don’t give a crap do you. I said excuse me. He said you care but you don’t give a crap about the stuff. I said I try not to He said I bet you’re the type that sings out  loud and out of key. I said I always do but it think I sound great. He said that’s what I like about you. Your always honest and O appreciate that. For me Im trying to live that way but I’m also surrounding myself with the same people. Life is better that way. We are all Christians and they don’t judge me and I give them plenty of reasons. I’m that guy that says and still does those things that people shake their head about but they know my heart and what I’m trying to do. In turn when you roll with people who believe and trust in you, you do the same for them. When the walls are down the view is amazing. I truly believe if Jesus walked the earth today we would hang because he knows I’m a  mess but he knows that when he needs to laugh or that somebody has his back I’m the first one there. I’m not sure my group of friends would sell any records for how we sing loud and out of key but if you want to be entertained and follow some genuine people that is us. In your life you need people who make you better and won’t tell you what you need to hear but what you have to hear. Find your band that sings loud and out of key and let nothing come between you.


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