Day 1808 You choose your hell

5 06 2018

Hello blog peeps. In the airport people watching getting ready to head to Florida. I should get paid to people watch, what  an awesome sport.

I m trying to find my purpose and slowly I think I am. I want to serve young men and women and give them hope that they can change. We have all been told people don’t change well that’s the biggest line of crap we have ever been fed. If someone tells you that it’s the hardest thing you will ever do that may not be enough to tell someone, you have to show them.

We all have to face our mistakes either out loud in a blog, group, with the ones me hurt or in our own silent hell,  My hell which is still going on is every Friday afternoon when I have dropped off my kids to go to their moms and I have the turn-key hell. Turn key hell= When I get to my house door and I open the door and the no sound, emptiness feeling of my house.  I’m about to walk into without the laughing of my kids, the pushing of my kids, the no cartoons, the i don’t want to eat that, Can I have more, I m bored, I don’t want to brush my teeth and mostly the I love you daddy. It’s the worst feeling in the world and I haven’t got used to that yet. My dog greets me and she looks for the kids and I tell her no Vaida next Friday and she walks over to her bed because she misses them. There is no women to say how was your day, the smell of a women, the we need to do this, can you go do this or a hug or kiss. So I put my bag down in the chair and every time I hope for a different feeling but I have to stop when the door closes behind me take a deep breath and realize this is the hell you created. The great thing is I have the feeling because I will remember it. You can’t make the mistakes that we all do and not expect the to be repercussions. So men if you don’t deal with your crap, ego, your pride, you fear and your left with and empty house don’t blame anyone expect yourself. Man up, there are to many resources for you to have to say at 60 I’m sorry for what I didn’t do, because it can be done. Or keep doing what you’re doing, be separated from your kids, have the hollow empty feeling of loss that can only be stitched up, and go into the empty, quite, lonely hell that you created. It will happen you’re not one of the stats that gets away with it. I can promise that the Friday turn-key hell is worse than any hell she, or your ego supposedly has put you through.

That was it in a nutshell. I don’t want anyone to feel that you can’t change and you cant restore. AS NIKE SAYS: JUST DO IT

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Day 937 My life did start over today

20 08 2015

3 years ago today I became a divorced man in the eyes of the state of Texas. It was a day I knew was coming for a while. No matter how prepared you are to walk into the courthouse there is just something different when you walk out. It was a process that started a year earlier and little did I know almost the same time a year later that I would be done with 14 years of my life. In the year trying to “fix” our problems I made more discoveries about myself than I had the other part of my life. I learned who I was, how  fake I was, how I never truly had a walk with God, how I was a good pretend dad, I learned who my friends were and the biggest thing I learned was how to love someone who was unlovable. I would never change that last year of my marriage. The growth in so many areas was amazing, sure it hurt but now I look back it and that year shaped me to the man I’m becoming.

As I sat in the courtroom that morning, my blood pressure was high (my ears were hot), I had that sick feeling in my stomach and I looked out of the corner of my eye to see her again I couldn’t believe we were here. My mind was racing with the thoughts  of years passed and not only the bad things but the good things raced through too. I smiled to myself and I had moments where I wanted to bust out crying. Two cases in front of us and it seemed like it was happening to fast. When the judge called us forward I stopped and asked God to please help me through I could barely stand up and I had that cold sweat on my fore head. Judge asked his questions we both answered and the gavel hits. We walk outside waiting for papers from our attorney and there isn’t a lot to say so it was very silent. The attorney came back and gave us our paperwork. When he walked away my ex  gave me a hug for the first time in 9 months and whispered she was sorry. She then walks away and I sat on the upstairs bench and had tears rolling down my eyes and had a little one on one with God and asked him to let me remember this day and never forget the feeling or emotions I have this moment in time. If I become the man he wants me to be I wont be back here. I sat back down on the bench and like always I saw somebody i knew she gave me a hug and said keep your chin up.

So that’s what I have done since that day. Sure I have struggled because I’m human and that’s just what we do sometimes. My great days outnumber the bad 10-1. I have so many amazing things in my life. I’ve learned to count the good and  know when I blow it that if God grants me the opportunity to wake up tomorrow it’s going to be better if I choose it to be. I’m so proud of where God has put me, I don’t always understand but I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. This day should be sad but for me its a day of happiness and I’m proud of where I’m at. You don’t always get a second chance to start it over from Rock bottom but from attempted suicide, divorce, bankruptcy, death of my identity,  lost company, loss of friends, neighbors, house, and just about everything that was important me. Here I am and it is great! I have so many people to thank and I did that today. They know how much I love them and how much they put up with me. The greatest people I know have risen from the ashes, and I can finally include myself in that group of people. If this broken lost soul can do it, so can you. This day is victory for me and thank God he’s not done with me yet.





Day 903 He’s not done with me yet

18 07 2015

On Tuesday of this week I was in a car accident. I was making a left hand turn and a lady ran the red light at 55. Its one of those moments where I started to turn and then I saw her coming and all I could say was oh crap. She spun me around 360 degrees I was facing the other direction. I could see that I was facing the wrong way and all my airbags had deployed, my car stopped running, Onstar was trying to talk to me and needless to say I was confused for a bit. I kept asking OnStar how they got into my car. I was dripping in sweat because of adrenaline but the AC was off too. My kids weren’t with me which was the biggest blessing because it would have hit on their side. I didn’t know what to do so I just sat there for a minute I wanted to check myself out but thought I was hurt so I just sat still.I started feeling around and throwing glass off of me. My stomach and shoulder hurt but I was just bleeding from my hand and the airbag was upsetting me so I cut it out of way. I started getting out of my car and the fire department was there and he was trying to help me get my door open. He said what are you doing. I said getting out of this car its hot in here. He said how are you getting out. I said I’m about to walk out if you move, but he said have you seen your car. I said no but I’ve been hit harder in a rugby or delivered a bigger hit. He said  wow man your supposed to be here. I got out called my buddy Jim and asked him to come get me. I then walked around the car and just shook my head. I couldn’t believe that I was hit that hard and at that speed and I was okay.

I put this part into not to brag but to show how far I’ve come as a man. The lady was hysterical she was yelling its my fault, I don’t have insurance, and I’m so sorry. My natural instincts and new heart took over. I just grabbed her and told her I love you its okay. She pulled back and said why are you saying its okay. I said because it’s an accident, I’ve had many times I hadn’t paid attention in the car to. I told her don’t worry its money and its all going to be okay. Please go get looked at! I hugged her one more time and she said you okay. I said my stomach hurts but otherwise Im good.  I started grabbing crap out of my car which looked like my son was let loose inside. My buddy Jim got there said you sure your okay you should get to the hospital. I’m good man I know my body well. He didn’t argue just drove me to get a rental car and then he picked up my kids. While standing in the rental car line I showed him my stomach and he said yep that’s going to hurt. He also said something else: Nobody walks away from that except you.

So after processing my thoughts here is what I’ve come up with. God’s not finished me yet. You might be saying stop being dramatic but its true. I’ve seen people die in wrecks a lot smaller. I walked away and was able to love someone who 5 years ago I would have went ballistic and lost it on the lady. It was just a reminder that when I doubt my purpose, my significance, or does God love me. I get a wink and told absolutely Tyler Wood you are one of my warriors carry on. So here’s to no more wrecks and a new car. Sad thing  is that car was only two weeks old. So here’s to even a newer car. Have a great weekend.





Day 845 Divorce is the only answer

20 05 2015

I’ve tried to tell my friends that aren’t in Texas how much we have received in two months. I know after 4 years of drought floods come but hey were good now. Lets send the rain to California. One lake was 32 feet down in February which means on 21% of it was filled. After lasts night rain it 9 feet down. The lake that is closet to us was 12 feet down and now its 6 feet above level.  What it means is that we took our rain dance to far. Milli Vanilli said it best Blame it on the rain. Okay I’m sorry I typed that out but hopefully you laughed.

If you have read my blog for very long you know I despise divorce. Not only for the adults but the kids are never the same. I could give you stats and blah blah about why about keeping you family in tact is best but I’m sure you’ve heard it all.  I’m a proponent for fighting to the bitter end (no pun intended) to save your family. I know because I did it. I wasn’t perfect in trying to plug all the wholes in the boat but when it was over I knew I did everything within what God gave me to save my marriage. I walked away with no regrets. I mean none. The church and Christians have done a horrible thing to divorcees to shame them about divorce and quoting what the bible says. I can read my bible and I know what it says about divorce but I can also show you in the bible where God dislikes bad marriage and the the life we have. God never wanted us miserable, broken or hopeless. That’s a promise! The broad paint brush that people use is so funny because if you bring up their sin they want to move on from that and just focus on what divorce is doing. I’m here to give another side.

Yes there are exceptions to every rule so lets through that out. 1.Sometimes people suck at being married. They just aren’t or won’t be capable of being faithful. Sure you can get help but they usually follow what they saw growing up and that circle hasn’t been broken yet. Just because God created us to be together doesn’t mean everyone is cut out for it. If you get married in your teens or early 20’s your destined to fail. You change so much in your 20’s that by the time you get to 30 you have no idea who the heck is the person you married is. I know this for a fact. The ones that married in there 20’s (again not all) have to trick up their life sexually etc.. with a job that travels so they didn’t see each other. 3.God has left their marriage- You got married in a church and that was the last time you were there,  or you went to church so your neighbor saw you went but God is page 20 of your newspaper.

4. Its takes two to be successful in a marriage and especially if you’re trying to repair it. YOU cannot fix a marriage if you’re the only one getting help because YOU CANT CHANGE SOMEONE ELSE. They can change but you can’t change them. If you divorce someone because the snore you’re an idiot. Everybody has things that the other person isn’t going to like. That’s the magic of marriage is taking the difference in two opposite people and make a beautiful cracked vase out of it.

If your physically being abused get out now. That typically doesn’t change and once the first punch is thrown it only gets easier to continue for you to be the punching bag of choice. Otherwise I say this, alcoholism, verbal abuse ( thats a 2 way street), drugs, family curses ,relatives, religious difference, greed, laziness, selfish etc.. With each one of these and more you don’t just leave your spouse. The vows said for better and worse. Not this is getting hard now leave. You fight your butt off to love, guide,  get counseling, direct, lead, hug, cry, fear for your spouse but sometimes after you have given your all. It’s okay to hang up and move on. People with demons won’t change, it’s always someone else  fault and I promise you have to hit Rock Bottom and lose it all to realize what you had. Some will never change and that’s not your fault. If you have given it your all God’s going to love you no matter what. He knows if you truly gave it your all or when it got tough you just quit.

Your only a failure in life when you don’t try! You get married it gets hard you quit, yes then you failed. Im tired of knowing that I have a lot of great people getting beat down because they got divorced. I know they tried and I know how bad your heart hurts, from betrayal, failed dreams, broken souls kids tears. If you have never been down the journey of being divorced it’s probably better you stay in your glass house and keep your mouth shut.  To my divorced peeps. Mend the heart, open it up again and find someone who didn’t quit and fought their butt off then ask God to show you his way and not your own.

SOAPBOX OVER.





Day 845 Divorce is the only answer

20 05 2015

I’ve tried to tell my friends that aren’t in Texas how much we have received in two months. I know after 4 years of drought floods come but hey were good now. Lets send the rain to California. One lake was 32 feet down in February which means on 21% of it was filled. After lasts night rain it 9 feet down. The lake that is closet to us was 12 feet down and now its 6 feet above level.  What it means is that we took our rain dance to far. Milli Vanilli said it best Blame it on the rain. Okay I’m sorry I typed that out but hopefully you laughed.

If you have read my blog for very long you know I despise divorce. Not only for the adults but the kids are never the same. I could give you stats and blah blah about why about keeping you family in tact is best but I’m sure you’ve heard it all.  I’m a proponent for fighting to the bitter end (no pun intended) to save your family. I know because I did it. I wasn’t perfect in trying to plug all the wholes in the boat but when it was over I knew I did everything within what God gave me to save my marriage. I walked away with no regrets. I mean none. The church and Christians have done a horrible thing to divorcees to shame them about divorce and quoting what the bible says. I can read my bible and I know what it says about divorce but I can also show you in the bible where God dislikes bad marriage and the the life we have. God never wanted us miserable, broken or hopeless. That’s a promise! The broad paint brush that people use is so funny because if you bring up their sin they want to move on from that and just focus on what divorce is doing. I’m here to give another side.

Yes there are exceptions to every rule so lets through that out. 1.Sometimes people suck at being married. They just aren’t or won’t be capable of being faithful. Sure you can get help but they usually follow what they saw growing up and that circle hasn’t been broken yet. Just because God created us to be together doesn’t mean everyone is cut out for it. If you get married in your teens or early 20’s your destined to fail. You change so much in your 20’s that by the time you get to 30 you have no idea who the heck is the person you married is. I know this for a fact. The ones that married in there 20’s (again not all) have to trick up their life sexually etc.. with a job that travels so they didn’t see each other. 3.God has left their marriage- You got married in a church and that was the last time you were there,  or you went to church so your neighbor saw you went but God is page 20 of your newspaper.

4. Its takes two to be successful in a marriage and especially if you’re trying to repair it. YOU cannot fix a marriage if you’re the only one getting help because YOU CANT CHANGE SOMEONE ELSE. They can change but you can’t change them. If you divorce someone because the snore you’re an idiot. Everybody has things that the other person isn’t going to like. That’s the magic of marriage is taking the difference in two opposite people and make a beautiful cracked vase out of it.

If your physically being abused get out now. That typically doesn’t change and once the first punch is thrown it only gets easier to continue for you to be the punching bag of choice. Otherwise I say this, alcoholism, verbal abuse ( thats a 2 way street), drugs, family curses ,relatives, religious difference, greed, laziness, selfish etc.. With each one of these and more you don’t just leave your spouse. The vows said for better and worse. Not this is getting hard now leave. You fight your butt off to love, guide,  get counseling, direct, lead, hug, cry, fear for your spouse but sometimes after you have given your all. It’s okay to hang up and move on. People with demons won’t change, it’s always someone else  fault and I promise you have to hit Rock Bottom and lose it all to realize what you had. Some will never change and that’s not your fault. If you have given it your all God’s going to love you no matter what. He knows if you truly gave it your all or when it got tough you just quit.

Your only a failure in life when you don’t try! You get married it gets hard you quit, yes then you failed. Im tired of knowing that I have a lot of great people getting beat down because they got divorced. I know they tried and I know how bad your heart hurts, from betrayal, failed dreams, broken souls kids tears. If you have never been down the journey of being divorced it’s probably better you stay in your glass house and keep your mouth shut.  To my divorced peeps. Mend the heart, open it up again and find someone who didn’t quit and fought their butt off then ask God to show you his way and not your own.

SOAPBOX OVER.





Day 691 Your dreams are really stupid

18 12 2014

The time approaches for the big, jolly, guy in the red suit to pack his sleigh. Well this guy is finished shopping and all presents are wrapped. I love this time of year so much and what we can do for others. Please adopt someone and bless them. $50 dollars of gifts to some is an equal to $1000 for us. Just do something for someone else. The need is great and you need it too.

Writing this blog is hard because every dream I had been shattered by my own doing. I had many dreams some selfish but some that could have changed my part of  the world. Dreams are what make life tolerable. It’s why we get up some-days, when we feel so low its the one thing that can make us get  out of bed and just put our feet on the floor.  Just the excitement of knowing we are going to accomplish something that we thought we couldn’t do. Like I said all my previous dreams were shattered but the good thing is my life was spared and I’m starting to dream again. Not only for me, but my kids but others too. When you ask someone their dream and the spark comes back in their eye you know that you can help. Dreams are accomplished by having goals, someone to push u when you fall down, grabbing you by the hand and picking you up off the floor, and celebrating each milestone of your goal. I true believe that I’m here to help you be a dream catcher. May sound corny but when I can help I want to. Which brings me to yesterday:

I was in a coffee shop listening to two women talk. I heard more blah blah, but then this lady said you know what I dream about… A craft shop for women that have never had the time or money because of whatever life threw  at them.. It would have childcare and that all the supplies would be donated. You could see in her eyes that she had thought about it a lot and I was like how cool. Then her “friend” said to her that is one really stupid dream. I almost fell out of my chair.  the look on the woman’s face was total defeat. I continued to listen the reasons it wouldn’t work then I should have minded my own business but I didn’t. I said if your her friend why would you kill her dream. You should be encouraging her. I said because your’re a coward and you stopped dreaming doesn’t mean others have. I told the lady that her dream was awesome and go bless those other women. I put my ear buds in and I didn’t hear anything else. They left before I did and I thought what a crappy day that lady is going to have. When I got up and left they were in the parking lot talking. I went and opened my door and I got a tap on my shoulder. Sir, I’m not sure who you are but thank you. I knew my friend was going to shoot down my idea but you gave me hope, I told her don’t let anyone kill your dream and I expect to see your shop around in 2015. I got a hug and she left.

Don’t you dare kill someones dream. Just because it’s not yours doesn’t make it wrong. If they have the courage and you don’t then encourage them. Life is about hopes and dreams and doing what people say is impossible. If you stop dreaming you die. Here’s to life.





Day 619 It’s time to write that book

7 10 2014

Parenting is hard and some days you pray that someone would hand you a manual and say do it this way. I promise it will work. We all know it doesn’t work that but we wish. We usually focus on what our kids don’t do right rather than what they do. We beat ourselves up so much as parents and we never look and say you know I’m or we are doing a good job. Yesterday we attended our first Parent/teacher conference for my son Brayden. This is his first year in school so I was very interested in what she had to say. She said he was a good reader, and good at math etc.. Said he was very bright. She then said he is by far the nicest kid in my class. Said everyday when they go to recess he waits and sees which kid doesn’t have anyone to play with and goes and plays with that kid. I almost didn’t hear what she said and when I was walking out I said did you say everyday that he does that about playing with the kids. She said everyday I’m out there he does. I wiped a tear from my eye as I walked back to my car. I got in my car and cried. I knew he was a caring little boy but I didn’t know he would even know to do that. At football practice last night I got down to eye level and told him how proud I was of him and what the teacher said. I then asked him why he did that for the kids and without missing a beat he said ” You tell me every morning to be good to my friends and I don’t want them to be sad or cry at recess and I can play with anyone”. Im truly a lucky man to have the two kids God gave me.

Sometimes in life we think to hear from God we have to hear the deep Charleston Heston voice saying Tyler you need to do the ABC. It never works that way. It usually happens in quiet time, a song or people put in our lives for a reason. Sometimes that person is close or a stranger. I have always wanted to write a book mostly so I could be famous. God changed my life and I kind of put that on back burner. It still rings in my head every once in a while. Since I started writing my blog somebody will pop in and say you should write a book. I always ask why they think that I get because I would read, people need it, it’s a heck of a story your life, I want to know the details that aren’t in your blog. So I talked about to a few people lately and then I say do you think really people would read it, I doubt myself and said maybe one day. Last night I’m just watching practice lady comes  up to me and says your that big guy that writes that blog. She said that lady over there said to read it and I read 10 of them over the weekend. I said I hope you enjoyed them.  She said enjoy was one word but wow is what came to mind. She said I have never heard a man be so open, vulnerable, logical, and do it through the pain that you have gone through and now your here. Have you ever thought about writing a book. I chuckled and said yeah and you’re helping me make sure I do. I asked her why should I and  she said: You can change lives, people need to hear your story, women need to hear your honesty, you give me hope and you can change a generation of men if you choose to do so. I gave her a hug and told her thank you and she made me promise not to stop writing. So with that its time I write the book and fill in some details . I know at least 12 people who will read it so that’s a good start. So say some prayers that I get the direction and the door will open so I can find out how to do it. In the meantime save your money so you can buy one lol. For those that have encouraged me to this point to write the book thank you and I know Im stubborn but I heard you.








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