Day 1863 Screw your 3 step process

15 07 2018

Happy Sunday beautiful people. The great thing about Texas this time of year is when you grill you don’t have to light a fire just sit the food on the grill and the heat does the magic. Its 105 today! Im to old for this crap but hey my tan is coming along nicely. So let’s get to it

The one thing I believe that our world is lacking in is perseverance. What is perseverance .persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay. We live in a microwave society not a crock pot society. We put our life in for 30 seconds and at 25 seconds were like my God why is this taking so long. rather than sitting it simmer for 8 hours and tada we have a meal.

When life gets to hard people just quit.  If you want hope or anything worth something is going to have to hurt just a little at least. It  takes time, lack of understanding, suffering. Its watching the crock pot and it doesn’t even look like in the first 2 hours anything is happening. The best things in my life I have waited on. Now in the midst of waiting (I’m very impatient) i talked so much crap, got angry, cried and then boom. Like after my divorce I was like okay i thought I was supposed to be feeling better already. I mean I followed this 3 step process to getting better. Well hello there is no 3- STEP PROCESS FOR LIFE. What I did in my process is 99% going to work for you because you are not me and Im not you, I can’t help you understand what i felt in my process because it was mine not yours. So no matter what my intentions were there is no process. What I do know is that there was perseverance and when the after divorce light came on I was like I get it. If I would have tried to microwave my life I would have been divorced again because honestly my demons were still running rampant and I didn’t know it.

You every heard joy come sin the morning but in the small print it says this crap hurt or hurts really bad. Well Im in a stage of life where I put my life in a microwave, I’ve had to  pull it out of the microwave and put it in the crock-pot turn, it on and leave it. This has been very painful but I remembered there is no 3 step process, and it will hurt, but the outcome will be exactly what it should be.
Stop looking for easy. Learn to be perservant and not quit. the best things in life are earned through hurt, pain, being uncomfortable but the joy does come in the morning and I’m living proof of that.

Love you and until my hands are ready to type again.

 

 

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Day 1842 Do you even believe in yourself.

1 04 2018

Happy Easter. I got to spend mine with extended family, my beautiful children, my sister, nephew, and in 55 days my 100-year-old Grandma. She is still doing great and funny. Must run in the family!

Grandma

Do you believe in yourself? It’s a simple question that we answer quickly. Yes I do. I’m not talking in every aspect because we simply aren’t good at everything. I mean at the core of who you are do you believe that you and only can get XYZ done. No support system, no encouragement, it’s just you and the past failures you have dealt with. Can you take those and no matter believe that you and God have it?

Nobody can answer that except you. Dont ask anyone elses opinion. They don’t know its up to you. You only. I want you to ponder that. I have no answer to your belief in yourself, but i want you to answer that. Until you do you are stuck! I mean stuck deep nothing pulls you out except Jesus and you finally truly pouring out yourself so you can fill yourself up. Think about it, find please





Day 617 What Im scared of

6 10 2014

My sports weekend was greatness. My high school won their homecoming game which  I attended, my TCU Horned Frogs upset  the Oklahoma Sooners, and my beloved Cowboys Won and actually look like a real team. Most importantly though my sons team won their first flag football game 21-7. They were so happy. The innocence s it’s still a game at that age is greatness and no matter do they get snack.

When I don’t have my kids a try to fill my schedule to keep my mind occupied. It maybe blogging, concert, church, men’s group, sporting event, or driving. I escape when I drive I crank up the radio and take my mind many places. Some good and some not so good. It says in Philippians 4 versus 6 and 7: Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything; tell God your needs and don’t forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as your trust in Christ Jesus. Okay so I believe it and I promise I try to follow it but I fall so short. Replace worry with scared I think they go hand in hand.  When I drive my mind goes to those places where I’m worry and I get scared. I do pray about them but I haven’t found that peace but I know it’s still I’m trying to understand Jesus and what he’s doing with me. So what scares me: I never said any of this was right, thoughtful, logical, not selfish, or good to think about just my thoughts.

Not fulfilling my life. I miss the boat and I never get the fill the peace because what I thought was fulfilling was for me and not others. That something happens to me the week I don’t have my kids and nobody finds me for a few days. Do my kids reach their potential, or did what we do  to them through our divorced screw them up. Will I truly have fun again or put on a funny face so people think its real, will I do half of the things on my bucket list. Will I let go of the past things that I still beat myself up about, will people look back and say that’s what you need to pattern yourself as a man. Will I ever fall in love again, will I allow myself to fall in love again. Will I get married again, will I wear a ring on my finger again, will I love you ever have the same meaning, Do I have to keep doing this dating bullshit because it sucks, How will my mom deteriorate from Parkinson’s. Will I get to see my son and daughter married, will I be a grandparent, when okay isn’t enough, do I make enough money, will I lose my health, am I really a changed man, why can’t I find my happiness, what are my dreams now. What happens when I get lost.

So that’s what goes through my mind. I know pretty scary place. I will continue following God’s word and putting people in my life that are there to help carry on my life and write more chapters. I can only handle one at a time so I start by grabbing one of those. Anyway I know that worrying will get me a big fat zero so Im working on faith and that I can only do what its in front of me. I also know Im not on a island with my thoughts and that helps too.





Day 617 What Im scared of

5 10 2014

My sports weekend was greatness. My high school won their homecoming game which  I attended, my TCU Horned Frogs upset  the Oklahoma Sooners, and my beloved Cowboys Won and actually look like a real team. Most importantly though my sons team won their first flag football game 21-7. They were so happy. The innocence s it’s still a game at that age is greatness and no matter do they get snack.

When I don’t have my kids a try to fill my schedule to keep my mind occupied. It maybe blogging, concert, church, men’s group, sporting event, or driving. I escape when I drive I crank up the radio and take my mind many places. Some good and some not so good. It says in Philippians 4 versus 6 and 7: Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything; tell God your needs and don’t forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as your trust in Christ Jesus. Okay so I believe it and I promise I try to follow it but I fall so short. Replace worry with scared I think they go hand in hand.  When I drive my mind goes to those places where I’m worry and I get scared. I do pray about them but I haven’t found that peace but I know it’s still I’m trying to understand Jesus and what he’s doing with me. So what scares me: I never said any of this was right, thoughtful, logical, not selfish, or good to think about just my thoughts.

Not fulfilling my life. I miss the boat and I never get the fill the peace because what I thought was fulfilling was for me and not others. That something happens to me the week I don’t have my kids and nobody finds me for a few days. Do my kids reach their potential, or did what we do  to them through our divorced screw them up. Will I truly have fun again or put on a funny face so people think its real, will I do half of the things on my bucket list. Will I let go of the past things that I still beat myself up about, will people look back and say that’s what you need to pattern yourself as a man. Will I ever fall in love again, will I allow myself to fall in love again. Will I get married again, will I wear a ring on my finger again, will I love you ever have the same meaning, Do I have to keep doing this dating bullshit because it sucks, How will my mom deteriorate from Parkinson’s. Will I get to see my son and daughter married, will I be a grandparent, when okay isn’t enough, do I make enough money, will I lose my health, am I really a changed man, why can’t I find my happiness, what are my dreams now. What happens when I get lost.

So that’s what goes through my mind. I know pretty scary place. I will continue following God’s word and putting people in my life that are there to help carry on my life and write more chapters. I can only handle one at a time so I start by grabbing one of those. Anyway I know that worrying will get me a big fat zero so Im working on faith and that I can only do what its in front of me. I also know Im not on a island with my thoughts and that helps too.





Day 18 Commitment

21 01 2013

Had a busy but really fun weekend with my kids. Morgan got to spend the night with some girls in the  complex and for a while I got to watch how girls interact. I still don’t understand it but I’m beginning to see what grown women are like. It starts at a young age for girls I wish we could observe has boys so we could learn then instead of in our 30’s lol.

I took my mom and son to a minor league hockey game and my son watched a little bit then wanted to climb on the rail until they smashed each other on the boards and  he looked at me and said that was awesome. They got into a fight and Brayden said I want to play this tomorrow. Well he’s my son for sure. Look out world.

Since I m single and I don’t have a fake girlfriend (maybe that’s easier) I read a lot about relationships and I also attend a new relationship class with church. I have a friend who also sends me emails to learn as well. I usually read and pick and choose and here is a great one about commitment that I wanted to share. Share your thoughts with  me please.

Contrary to what many people think, men are not averse to commitment. But there ARE a couple of things going on for men when it comes to choosing WHICH woman to commit to.

Knowing this is going to help you understand where we’re coming from… and how to create a lasting, secure relationship with a great guy.

So let’s get right to it…

Men have all kinds of ways of thinking, seeing things, and behaviors that aren’t completely conscious but are what I’ll call more BIOLOGICAL or INSTINCTUAL.

These are things that have been instilled in them over thousands and millions of years of “conditioning” during mating and courtship rituals with women.

When a man is looking for a woman, a part of his instinctual “wiring” unconsciously tells him to look for a woman who is healthy and “fit.” (Not just physically, but emotionally.

This means men are biologically wired to look for, and feel “attracted” to women who have the qualities and traits that indicate a high level of health and “fitness.”

But unfortunately, this “screening process” that’s going on inside a man’s mind is largely UNCONSCIOUS. In other words, a man can’t and won’t just walk up to a woman and say:

“Hi, I’m looking for a mate. I’d like to know if you would make a good mate for me. Are you any of the following?

  • Emotional stable and secure in yourself so you’ll make a great partner for me and allow me to expand in my life instead of having to stay “small” to make sure you’re comfortable?
  • Physically fit and healthy so you can conceive a healthy child, give birth, and raise him/her?
  • “Genetically fit” so that you have a high likelihood to bear successful offspring by passing off great qualities like size, strength, intelligence, immunity, etc?
  • Intelligent, “funny,” and resourceful so that you can not only be a mate that makes me feel attracted to you and want to conceive lots of children… but also help in this world of hard-to-come-by resources?
  • Going to make a great mother who can care for our child and raise it while I’m out trying to “provide?:

Catch my drift?

This is part of the reason why so often a woman will ask a man why he’s feeling one way or another… or why he’s acting different or not interested in a relationship and he can’t explain it.

Too many women have found that men can often be careless and lazy in relationships.

WRONG.

This is absolutely not true if you trigger the right feelings in your boyfriend in your relationship. Some men feel so strongly that they’d do anything to protect her and their relationship. And I mean ANYTHING:

  • He’d risk heartbreak
  • He’d spend all his money if he had to
  • He’d travel around the world just to be with you for a night
  • He’d even risk physical harm or DEATH just to keep you safe and protected

A man can and will become DEEPLY COMMITTED to his girlfriend and their relationship… if he is feeling the right things with her. If he knows she’s worth it.

And therein lies the secret…

How do you make a man feel so in love and so deeply connected and committed to you that he’d do anything for you, and never think twice about leaving or giving up?

Learn How His Commitment Process Works

Women who don’t understand what the dating and COMMITMENT PROCESS is like inside a man’s mind seem to keep running into the same painful situations, frustrations, and traps with men.

The way a man grows close to a woman, the reasons why he chooses her over another woman, and when and why he decides to start sharing himself with her and growing a real and committed relationship is simply different than it is for most women.

My program From Casual to Committed explains the entire dating and “commitment process” of a man, and I delivered this program live to real women like you.

It was a huge success, and it felt great to know that I not only answered the tough questions women had and needed answered in the live event… but that they were able to take what they learned, apply it in their lives, and get REAL RESULTS with the man in their life:

Don’t Make This Common Commitment Mistake

One of the biggest “make it or break it” points for women in relationships with men is when you start to grow close and want to move from just a casual and unspoken thing into a deeper and more serious relationship.

If you’ve ever felt “stuck” in your love life because you didn’t know how to break through the “casual dating” stage with a man and move into a real and committed relationship, I can help.

If you know much about men, then you probably already know that the answer with a man in this situation is NOT to ask him for a commitment. Lots of women try this and become frustrated and baffled when the man they thought they were close to completely pulls away from them and even tries to end the relationship all together.

If you want to grow your relationship with a man, the best way to move into a committed relationship isn’t to come up against his “EMOTIONAL RESISTANCE” to commitment when you bring it up.

The best relationships that women enjoy most, and that last the longest, are the ones where THE MAN is leading the woman into a committed relationship.

Where HE is asking HER to COMMIT TO HIM.

For the greatest chance at happiness and success with a man, and to be able to quickly and easily move from a casual situation to a real and committed relationship with a man, the answer is to learn:

  1. How the commitment process works for him, and what each of the critical steps and experiences are that he needs to have before he’ll truly physically and emotionally commit
  2. How to make a man want to be with you and lead you in to a committed relationship
  3. How to keep your relationship growing and healthy so that you both stay emotionally involved and fulfilled by the relationship

If you really want love in your life, and you want it to LAST on your next go round… then don’t wait for your relationship to figure itself out.

Empower yourself. Don’t wait for a man to figure it out and make your relationship work for you. Don’t wait until you’re dating the right guy and in a great relationship to learn how to help it grow and make it work with him.

It’s time for you to feel what love is meant to feel like when you know how to get a man to help make it last with you. Get started today by checking out my From Casual Committed program here:








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