Day 175 Tell me Im a good man

1 07 2013

Have had weird weekend so far. I had a blast Friday night at the Texas Rangers baseball game with my buddy. We got the 24 inch hotdog  called the Boomstick and Waffle Fry brisket nachos and shared those. I usually don’t eat like that but one night. Until we found out that in both items there are 7000 calories in both. Rangers won so it was worth it. I met a friend  yesterday and it was great to catchup stir a lot of emotions from past that I didn’t know I had. Last night hung out in Fort Worth one of the coolest cities in the US and watched the idiots get their drink on. Nice looking crowd if your single A college friend died on Cancer Friday and then I woke up on the sad side of the bed today and I’m trying to fight through that.

When I got home last night I caught the last 15 minutes of saving Private Ryan. One of the greatest War movies ever created. You can run the gamete of emotions in the movie but the last 5 minutes pull at you from every way. In the clip below it the last 2 minutes that made me think something I always want to hear.

youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1r8zgU7wE8w

Every man wants to hear: Tell me I’m a good man, Tell, me I lived a good life! You want to hear it from your father and your spouse. It’s the most powerful words that can be spoken over a man. There are very few times that we get to actually fell that way. I actually get chills listen to his words. On fathers day weekend when I went back to my dad’s grave I prayed I could hear his voice say those words and if could have been there he would have. When a man wants to hear tell me I’m a good man it entails the following: Was a great spiritual leader,Am I a good husband, provider, father, helper, do other man see me as an example of what to follow, Did I do all I could to change the world for the better, did I extend the helping hand when I got the opportunity, When it was time to rise to the occasion and nobody else wanted to I did, Are you proud of me, I never gave up, did I give the best of me first and not last.

It does not entail: Did I drink the most beer, did I throw the best parties, Did I turn my back on my spouse when she was unlovable, when my kids embarrassed me did I turn my back on them, when someone needed my help did I make excuses, when the heat gets turned up did I fall into the background.

If you get the chance to tell a man he is good please do it. Tell him he lived a good life. If you don’t think he has encourage him to do that he wants it more than anything. Sometimes he just doesn’t know how. Don’t give up on him!

I can’t wait to hear those words again, from my children (You were the best man and daddy) or when I get married again for my wife to look at me and say you are the best thing that ever happened to me, you’re a great man and have lived an amazing life!!

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Day 175 Tell me Im a good man

30 06 2013

Have a weird weekend so far. I had a blast Friday night at the Texas Rangers baseball game with my buddy. We got the 24 inch hotdog  called the Boomstick and Waffle Fry brisket nachos and shared those. I usually don’t eat like that but one night. Until we found out that in both items there are 7000 calories in both. Rangers won so it was worth it. I met a friend  yesterday and it was great to catchup stir a lot of emotions from past that I didn’t know I had. Last night hung out in Fort Worth one of the coolest cities in the US and watched the idiots get their drink on. Nice looking crowd if your single A college friend died on Cancer Friday and then I woke up on the sad side of the bed today and I’m trying to fight through that.

When I got home last night I caught the last 15 minutes of saving Private Ryan. One of the greatest War movies ever created. You can run the gamete of emotions in the movie but the last 5 minutes pull at you from every way. In the clip below it the last 2 minutes that made me think something I always want to hear.

youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1r8zgU7wE8w

Every man wants to hear: Tell me I’m a good man, Tell, me I lived a good life! You want to hear it from your father and your spouse. It’s the most powerful words that can be spoken over a man. There are very few times that we get to actually fell that way. I actually get chills listen to his words. On fathers day weekend when I went back to my dad’s grave I prayed I could hear his voice say those words and if could have been there he would have. When a man wants to hear tell me I’m a good man it entails the following: Was a great spiritual leader,Am I a good husband, provider, father, helper, do other man see me as an example of what to follow, Did I do all I could to change the world for the better, did I extend the helping hand when I got the opportunity, When it was time to rise to the occasion and nobody else wanted to I did, Are you proud of me, I never gave up, did I give the best of me first and not last.

It does not entail: Did I drink the most beer, did I throw the best parties, Did I turn my back on my spouse when she was unlovable, when my kids embarrassed me did I turn my back on them, when someone needed my help did I make excuses, when the heat gets turned up did I fall into the background.

If you get the chance to tell a man he is good please do it. Tell him he lived a good life. If you don’t think he has encourage him to do that he wants it more than anything. Sometimes he just doesn’t know how. Don’t give up on him!

I can’t wait to hear those words again, from my children (You were the best man and daddy) or when I get married again for my wife to look at me and say you are the best thing that ever happened to me, you’re a great man and have lived an amazing life!!

 

 





Day 170 Truth laid down with me

26 06 2013

I spent Sunday night going back through all of my blogs and I caught up with a friend of 20 years that we had not spoken but more than  twice in that time frame. Wow i really put myself out there in my blogs. I really don’t remember it all. I sit down in front of the computer and something different comes over me. It’s a cool feeling but at the same time I know when I push send the fear of a teenager comes back. I set the fire, watch it burn and wait to see what happens when it burns out. The past two years I felt alive, I felt dead, I felt like curling in a ball, I felt on was on top of the world, Ive cried like the first time I got a shot, I hit my knees more than ever, I have reached up for someone and their was an empty hand, I tried to love me, I tried to hate me, I sat in my apartment with nothing but the sound of my breath, I fought with me and talked to myself a lot, I sat in fields and admired the stars, I went to a hospital and watched the babies sleep, I drove past my old house and wondered what happened, I drove half way across the country trying to find myself, I drank myself silly wondering can I be loved, I gave two people all I had left, I questioned God, I loved God I acted like everything was okay. I looked someone in the eyes and told them I was a scared little boy, I pushed at least 6 people out of my life and told them I wasn’t good enough for them, I sat at the Rugby field and wondered why my athletic career was over, I went to the Casino and went to be close to people but not to close, I stopped a domestic abuse situation, I held a homeless man, I finally went back to my dad;s grave, I baptized my daughter, I held my son over my head like he was a baby, I stopped the car and picked a piece of cotton, I went to the animal shelter and told the animals that it was going to be okay you won’t always be alone, I looked my ex in the eye and told myself you were flawed but remember the good.

Truth is last night I sat in my bed listening to music and turned it off. I looked at the ceiling of my apartment and truth laid next to me. You’re a good man and there are many that think the same thing. You have changed lives for the better. I know your heart-broken for many reasons but your almost there. See the good remember the bad and stop living in it. For the first time in probably 5 years I heard me say thank you  before I went to sleep God and truth thank you  because I am a good man  and Im almost there.

 





Day 170 Truth laid down with me

25 06 2013

I spent Sunday night going back through all of my blogs and I caught up with a friend of 20 years that we had not spoken but more than  twice in that time frame. Wow i really put myself out there in my blogs. I really don’t remember it all. I sit down in front of the computer and something different comes over me. It’s a cool feeling but at the same time I know when I push send the fear of a teenager comes back. I set the fire, watch it burn and wait to see what happens when it burns out. The past two years I felt alive, I felt dead, I felt like curling in a ball, I felt on was on top of the world, Ive cried like the first time I got a shot, I hit my knees more than ever, I have reached up for someone and their was an empty hand, I tried to love me, I tried to hate me, I sat in my apartment with nothing but the sound of my breath, I fought with me and talked to myself a lot, I sat in fields and admired the stars, I went to a hospital and watched the babies sleep, I drove past my old house and wondered what happened, I drove half way across the country trying to find myself, I drank myself silly wondering can I be loved, I gave two people all I had left, I questioned God, I loved God I acted like everything was okay. I looked someone in the eyes and told them I was a scared little boy, I pushed at least 6 people out of my life and told them I wasn’t good enough for them, I sat at the Rugby field and wondered why my athletic career was over, I went to the Casino and went to be close to people but not to close, I stopped a domestic abuse situation, I held a homeless man, I finally went back to my dad;s grave, I baptized my daughter, I held my son over my head like he was a baby, I stopped the car and picked a piece of cotton, I went to the animal shelter and told the animals that it was going to be okay you won’t always be alone, I looked my ex in the eye and told myself you were flawed but remember the good.

Truth is last night I sat in my bed listening to music and turned it off. I looked at the ceiling of my apartment and truth laid next to me. You’re a good man and there are many that think the same thing. You have changed lives for the better. I know your heart-broken for many reasons but your almost there. See the good remember the bad and stop living in it. For the first time in probably 5 years I heard me say thank you  before I went to sleep God and truth thank you  because I am a good man  and Im almost there.

 





Day 170 Truth laid down with me

25 06 2013

I spent Sunday night going back through all of my blogs and I caught up with a friend of 20 years that we had not spoken but more than  twice in that time frame. Wow i really put myself out there in my blogs. I really don’t remember it all. I sit down in front of the computer and something different comes over me. It’s a cool feeling but at the same time I know when I push send the fear of a teenager comes back. I set the fire, watch it burn and wait to see what happens when it burns out. The past two years I felt alive, I felt dead, I felt like curling in a ball, I felt on was on top of the world, Ive cried like the first time I got a shot, I hit my knees more than ever, I have reached up for someone and their was an empty hand, I tried to love me, I tried to hate me, I sat in my apartment with nothing but the sound of my breath, I fought with me and talked to myself a lot, I sat in fields and admired the stars, I went to a hospital and watched the babies sleep, I drove past my old house and wondered what happened, I drove half way across the country trying to find myself, I drank myself silly wondering can I be loved, I gave two people all I had left, I questioned God, I loved God I acted like everything was okay. I looked someone in the eyes and told them I was a scared little boy, I pushed at least 6 people out of my life and told them I wasn’t good enough for them, I sat at the Rugby field and wondered why my athletic career was over, I went to the Casino and went to be close to people but not to close, I stopped a domestic abuse situation, I held a homeless man, I finally went back to my dad;s grave, I baptized my daughter, I held my son over my head like he was a baby, I stopped the car and picked a piece of cotton, I went to the animal shelter and told the animals that it was going to be okay you won’t always be alone, I looked my ex in the eye and told myself you were flawed but remember the good.

Truth is last night I sat in my bed listening to music and turned it off. I looked at the ceiling of my apartment and truth laid next to me. You’re a good man and there are many that think the same thing. You have changed lives for the better. I know your heart-broken for many reasons but your almost there. See the good remember the bad and stop living in it. For the first time in probably 5 years I heard me say thank you  before I went to sleep God and truth thank you  because I am a good man  and Im almost there.








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