Day 180 I can’t do this one more day

7 07 2013

One emotional weekend! My baby girl took her first flight by herself  to Arizona yesterday. I dropped my son off with my mom and my daughter and I spent the day together. My daughter has so much prospective and perception. We talked about so many things some I didn’t want to hear and some I had to. The whole time my stomach is churning because I won’t be able to protect my daughter on the flight or for the next two weeks. I know its part of the process and everybody goes through it, but still doesn’t make me hurt less.

For those that are divorced here is a piece of advice: You are wrong in many things you do to your ex and kids never forget that, but also remember stand firm in what you know is right no matter how many lies, hurts, stabs, jabs. There are nights you go to bed full of uncomfortable silence, loss of words, pain and confusion. Remember to bite your tongue because I promise it will all work out in the end and your kids will know the truth. Wish good on your ex because if you wish bad it comes back on you too. Let your kids always see you doing the right thing because we all know in life things go wrong it’s how we react to them. Everything we do or say  kids see and hear. That’s just a free Public Service Announcement.

I believe my purpose in life is to be honest to each and every person. Doesn’t matter if you want to hear it or not the truth could set you free. Having someone who can possibly feel the same as you but just need to hear it that’s why I’m here. We parked at gate E5 last night and needed to be at gate E37 so my daughter and I walked a long ways down but I had to come back. When I left my daughter I was appalled at event that happened when I left her with her mom so I loved on her and left. I walked back to E5 and I had to go to the restroom so I did then came back and sat and people watched. A girl maybe 30 sat down next to me mascara smeared,  tears streaming and the last thing she said was FU to the person on the other end of the phone. I looked at her and said hello and she ignored me then she said I can’t do this one more day! I take a deep breath (she wasn’t talking to me just speaking out loud) I said yes you can. She looked at me and said excuse me and I said yes you can do it. I have been there where I can’t do it one more day. I said please tell me about it. Just know if you don’t listen and just start talking  people don’t care what you have to say until they know you care about them and what they have to say.

She tells me a bunch but bottom line: She said Im supposed to go to Sacramento to be with my husband but he just informed me he wants a divorce and now what do I do. I love him  and I  tried but he has a girlfriend there that’s why he “worked so much” in Sacramento. What do I tell our kids, what do I tell my friends and family. What do I do next.  I asked her what she wanted from me and she said tell me about your divorce. I first told her to take your focus off of him no matter how hard and only concentrate on you and what you did right and wrong. I asked her what her strengths and weaknesses were in her marriage. She knew both very quickly and that’s where I told her to start and then I told her some of my story and yes the crappy part. I explained that I wanted to kill myself that I actually had planned and I did this over somebody who doesn’t want me.  I’ll kill myself that will show them. I told her that you can’t drink a cup of poison in front of someone else and expect them to get sick!

Here is what I know: There is a God and there is a devil. God doesn’t allow bad the devil does and it’s going to happen no matter what you do. Its how we react to it. There are so many days you say I just can’t do this one more day. yes you can the same way you did yesterday. It will hurt but the ending will be amazing. Name the last time you got something good out of something easy. It doesn’t happen. Don’t you dare give up. I know you may not believe it but your amazing! I know I m learning to practice what I preach but we all are. People do and will love you when you let them. I have the best people in my life and they hurt when I hurt but if I never tell them they can’t love on me. I learned that people really do care about our hurts and warts and will be there for you at any time. You can and will do it one more day because that’s all we got. Love ya!





Day 122 Flattery Vs Compliment

7 05 2013

Today is a great day in my life my baby girl turned 11. She was born at 8:50 pm and I remember the all out Oh my God moment and the fact that I was a father to the most beautiful little girl who was born with more hair than me.  She has been an amazing child through the divorce with being honest and taking things in stride and telling us both when she is bothered by something. She is a really funny, witty little girl and laughs at things she shouldn’t because I   thought they were above her level. She is the most caring and giving child and today I got to spend the evening with her and my son. Just looking at her melts my  heart. I know the teenage years are coming but for today it was a beautiful day to spend with a beautiful little lady.

I m a man who gives tons of compliments. I think it’s so important to tell people the honest truth about themselves. We are really good at telling people the bad but hardly the good. There is a difference though in flattery and compliments. They say flattery gets you know where but believe me you give something a tad bit of flattery and you can get a lot of things you want but it’s usually not good.

My definition is flattery your trying to get something and a compliment your trying to give something. says

Flattery is:excessive or insincere praise and a compliment  is:
a formal act or expression of civility, respect, or regard I use to give flattery typically to get something sexual or get someone to do something for me. People do catch on to flattery and people with say that guy is full of crap or he always just wants something. Pay a compliment and it can stay with someone forever. Remember the way it made you feel.

Flattery you kiss a lot of a%& and some people want to hear it but shallow they are. A complement people want to hear and sometimes need to. Giving sincere compliments is a powerful tool for creating and building relationships. Flattery destroys them. Praise rightfully earned helps develop the self-esteem of those we care about. Insincere flattery (which may be an oxymoron since flattery is by definition insincere) makes us feel less worthwhile, makes us feel hurt and used and less trusting of the flatterer. The flattery may for a short time make one feel good but ultimately it will make that same person feel empty and used. The Bible is full of verses warning against falling into the trap of either giving or receiving flattery.

With that your all so beautiful !! lol


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