Day 729 My crockpot life

26 01 2015

Rock Bottom Outreach one of the best things that has happened to me.  To see so many broken people glue the pieces back and give so much of them of  themselves. The only place I feel normal is with this group of truly not normal but amazing people. We got to volunteer twice this weekend. Give to the homeless again today. We gave out over 300 sleeping bags the last two weeks and today over 100 meals.  Just amazing because we have up given up ourselves for others and we get the benefit of it.

Being a single parent you want to cook homemade meals. There is not time sometimes no matter how much planning was done. The one thing you can always count on is the crock pot to save your bottom when you know time is limited. Sure you could microwave something but come on really.

The microwave, cooks the edges but the middle is cold, or it never cooks anything. It can explode in the microwave causing a mess you don’t want to clean up or it can burn your popcorn. So what the point my life used to a be the microwave. I burned so much of my life relationships, friends, ideas, church, sometimes I cooked the edges but the middle was cold. That was me I looked great from the outside but inside I was cold and dead. Every time I microwaved my life I made it explode and the cleanup was too much. So I just left it there hoping someone else would come clean up my mess. I set the timer for God to hurry up and the timer never went off when I wanted it to.

My life is a crock pot now. Doesn’t mean I don’t try to microwave my  life at times but when I do. I over cook, under cook or it explodes in my face. Since I try to and believe me I fail often,  I still am using the crock pot of life. As long as I plug it and turn it on God is going to do to my life what it should be. Its going to smell good and be amazing at the end of it. God doesn’t see time and when I quit trying to fast forward my life (microwave it) what should turn out will. Just like the crock pot I can take anything and throw it in the crock pot and it tastes good. You just have to give it time. If you throw everything in the crock put and don’t plug it in or turn it on it wont cook. I still have no idea about many aspects of my life but God has never let me down. Slow and steady  will cook everything to the right degree but only if I let it finish.

So what am I saying: Stop using the microwave it burns, it under cooks, or over cooks and causes things to explode. Choose God ,choose life, chose the crock pot. I’m not done yet but man am I glad to have my life where it’s supposed to be and not where I choose it.





Day 729 My crockpot life

25 01 2015

Rock Bottom Outreach one of the best things that has happened to me.  To see so many broken people glue the pieces back and give so much of them of  themselves. The only place I feel normal is with this group of truly not normal but amazing people. We got to volunteer twice this weekend. Give to the homeless again today. We gave out over 300 sleeping bags the last two weeks and today over 100 meals.  Just amazing because we have up given up ourselves for others and we get the benefit of it.

Being a single parent you want to cook homemade meals. There is not time sometimes no matter how much planning was done. The one thing you can always count on is the crock pot to save your bottom when you know time is limited. Sure you could microwave something but come on really.

The microwave, cooks the edges but the middle is cold, or it never cooks anything. It can explode in the microwave causing a mess you don’t want to clean up or it can burn your popcorn. So what the point my life used to a be the microwave. I burned so much of my life relationships, friends, ideas, church, sometimes I cooked the edges but the middle was cold. That was me I looked great from the outside but inside I was cold and dead. Every time I microwaved my life I made it explode and the cleanup was too much. So I just left it there hoping someone else would come clean up my mess. I set the timer for God to hurry up and the timer never went off when I wanted it to.

My life is a crock pot now. Doesn’t mean I don’t try to microwave my  life at times but when I do. I over cook, under cook or it explodes in my face. Since I try to and believe me I fail often,  I still am using the crock pot of life. As long as I plug it and turn it on God is going to do to my life what it should be. Its going to smell good and be amazing at the end of it. God doesn’t see time and when I quit trying to fast forward my life (microwave it) what should turn out will. Just like the crock pot I can take anything and throw it in the crock pot and it tastes good. You just have to give it time. If you throw everything in the crock put and don’t plug it in or turn it on it wont cook. I still have no idea about many aspects of my life but God has never let me down. Slow and steady  will cook everything to the right degree but only if I let it finish.

So what am I saying: Stop using the microwave it burns, it under cooks, or over cooks and causes things to explode. Choose God ,choose life, chose the crock pot. I’m not done yet but man am I glad to have my life where it’s supposed to be and not where I choose it.





Day 444 I want to tell you a story about someone

31 03 2014

Denton Rugby acted like the Dallas Cowboys and when it mattered we got our butts kicked 37-0. We were already in the playoffs and acted like we won something. I think we learned a valuable lesson and we get to see the same team again in May in the state playoffs.  If you have kids you know there are sometimes you just shrug your shoulders. I wonder how people who have two girls do it as parents. Girls are so easy when their little and then Jr. high hits and all hell breaks loose. Girls are mean too. Boys we punch each other and then were good for a month or two.

I heard this quote last night and I’m not sure who I head it from but man it makes you think: “The biggest lie we tell ourselves is that we will have more time.” We all know it’s not true but when were laying there taking our last breathes all we do is talk about the things we should have done.

I want to tell you a story about someone I know: I ve known this fella for a long time, and he was hard nut to crack but he’s finally getting it. I remember him best from high school so that’s where I’ll start.  This guy was someone who had two personalities  and not many knew one side of his personality. People thought he was always friendly, smiling, hard worker and was an example of what to be for other kids growing up, he was a spiritual leader not only for his family but for other students he was also a fan with the women but just to be friends with like a big a brother. and did a lot for others. Which he did. What others didn’t know is that he hurt, he was rejected a lot, made fun of, poor, challenged God whenever he got the chance, would fight and enjoyed watching the blood pour from another persons body. He loved women and would search for anyone who would accept him. He lacked self-confidence but even though he stood alone as a leader was fearful people would see through him and maybe even reach out to him to help, but he was too proud. He had multiple operations before he left school which took away is only real ticket out of the mess he grew up in and now there was nothing to separate him everybody else. He was just a normal guy and that was crippling for him. He wanted to move far away after high school but he could only make his way to West Texas. All that did was get him further from his past  he thought but just made it lonely and more confusing on why his life turned in the direction it did. He thought the best way for people to like him was to fear him. His first semester of college he got beat up so bad it took 5 weeks to heal, when he did he got revenge so and that when the fight was over he pulled the urinal off the wall and beat the three guys with it and pissed on them when it was done just so they wouldn’t forget him. He would sit in the stands at night and pray for a women who would be exactly what God wanted. Yes every night!  He wouldn’t let anyone get close but he sure wanted that. He searched for friendship and love in so many of the wrong places that sometimes he found it. He left West Texas and headed back to Fort Worth to find the football life he was supposed to be. When he got to TCU he found people he didn’t fit in with, a lost passion for football mostly life. Only serious conversation he ever had with his father ended with hatred even more for his father. He also treated the people who cared for him that most like crap and asked them to leave him alone. Fast forward and he gets to UNT and joins a fraternity. This is the same guy that had never had a drink in his life but he had to fit in somewhere because he fit in nowhere. He drank and drank some more and weighed 37o lbs. Who would want that guy! One beautiful blonde did and she turned his life upside down. She did things and made him feel in ways he never had but like everybody else she left him and broke his heart into the tiniest of pieces. He loved or thought what was love and it was gone. With it came more hatred, revenge, harsh words, and pain inflected on anyone who crossed him. How he didn’t end up with a VD, in prison, or dead is beyond him. He lived this most full throttle life of anyone he knew and if you asked or dared his answer was yes.

Then in January 1998 a women walked into his life and changed his whole entire thought process. He knew 3 months into it that he was in love and would get married. He had made plans for their 30, 40 and even 80′s, but on their wedding day he knew it would never last, but said maybe it will workout. He tried to become something he wasn’t, live a life he didn’t want, and impress someone he couldn’t. He was blessed with two beautiful children that he didn’t appreciate because he didn’t appreciate anything and hated every inch of himself.  Luck would have it that again would crush him and take his dignity, family, business, friendships, marriage, and his whole being was destroyed. So much so on a Tuesday morning he planned to take his life so “others” could benefit from his life insurance and not be a burden any longer. God intervened and actually for the first time talked to him so he could here.  Since that fateful morning he has become a new man, still flawed and dead inside some days, but he his honest, fun-loving, charismatic, loves to make others laugh, would do anything for anybody, great husband material one day and an example for others to follow.

If you haven’t guessed that someone is me Tyler Wood. I was asked last night why do I blog and what do you get from it.. I blog because I have a story that has changed my life but is changing others just because I decided to open my mouth and be vulnerable. Im nobody special just a guy who almost took his life so I could  learn to help others so they won’t take theirs.

 





Day 444 I want to tell you a story about someone

31 03 2014

Denton Rugby acted like the Dallas Cowboys and when it mattered we got our butts kicked 37-0. We were already in the playoffs and acted like we won something. I think we learned a valuable lesson and we get to see the same team again in May in the state playoffs.  If you have kids you know there are sometimes you just shrug your shoulders. I wonder how people who have two girls do it as parents. Girls are so easy when their little and then Jr. high hits and all hell breaks loose. Girls are mean too. Boys we punch each other and then were good for a month or two.

I heard this quote last night and I’m not sure who I head it from but man it makes you think: “The biggest lie we tell ourselves is that we will have more time.” We all know it’s not true but when were laying there taking our last breathes all we do is talk about the things we should have done.

I want to tell you a story about someone I know: I ve known this fella for a long time, and he was hard nut to crack but he’s finally getting it. I remember him best from high school so that’s where I’ll start.  This guy was someone who had two personalities  and not many knew one side of his personality. People thought he was always friendly, smiling, hard worker and was an example of what to be for other kids growing up, he was a spiritual leader not only for his family but for other students he was also a fan with the women but just to be friends with like a big a brother. and did a lot for others. Which he did. What others didn’t know is that he hurt, he was rejected a lot, made fun of, poor, challenged God whenever he got the chance, would fight and enjoyed watching the blood pour from another persons body. He loved women and would search for anyone who would accept him. He lacked self-confidence but even though he stood alone as a leader was fearful people would see through him and maybe even reach out to him to help, but he was too proud. He had multiple operations before he left school which took away is only real ticket out of the mess he grew up in and now there was nothing to separate him everybody else. He was just a normal guy and that was crippling for him. He wanted to move far away after high school but he could only make his way to West Texas. All that did was get him further from his past  he thought but just made it lonely and more confusing on why his life turned in the direction it did. He thought the best way for people to like him was to fear him. His first semester of college he got beat up so bad it took 5 weeks to heal, when he did he got revenge so and that when the fight was over he pulled the urinal off the wall and beat the three guys with it and pissed on them when it was done just so they wouldn’t forget him. He would sit in the stands at night and pray for a women who would be exactly what God wanted. Yes every night!  He wouldn’t let anyone get close but he sure wanted that. He searched for friendship and love in so many of the wrong places that sometimes he found it. He left West Texas and headed back to Fort Worth to find the football life he was supposed to be. When he got to TCU he found people he didn’t fit in with, a lost passion for football mostly life. Only serious conversation he ever had with his father ended with hatred even more for his father. He also treated the people who cared for him that most like crap and asked them to leave him alone. Fast forward and he gets to UNT and joins a fraternity. This is the same guy that had never had a drink in his life but he had to fit in somewhere because he fit in nowhere. He drank and drank some more and weighed 37o lbs. Who would want that guy! One beautiful blonde did and she turned his life upside down. She did things and made him feel in ways he never had but like everybody else she left him and broke his heart into the tiniest of pieces. He loved or thought what was love and it was gone. With it came more hatred, revenge, harsh words, and pain inflected on anyone who crossed him. How he didn’t end up with a VD, in prison, or dead is beyond him. He lived this most full throttle life of anyone he knew and if you asked or dared his answer was yes.

Then in January 1998 a women walked into his life and changed his whole entire thought process. He knew 3 months into it that he was in love and would get married. He had made plans for their 30, 40 and even 80′s, but on their wedding day he knew it would never last, but said maybe it will workout. He tried to become something he wasn’t, live a life he didn’t want, and impress someone he couldn’t. He was blessed with two beautiful children that he didn’t appreciate because he didn’t appreciate anything and hated every inch of himself.  Luck would have it that again would crush him and take his dignity, family, business, friendships, marriage, and his whole being was destroyed. So much so on a Tuesday morning he planned to take his life so “others” could benefit from his life insurance and not be a burden any longer. God intervened and actually for the first time talked to him so he could here.  Since that fateful morning he has become a new man, still flawed and dead inside some days, but he his honest, fun-loving, charismatic, loves to make others laugh, would do anything for anybody, great husband material one day and an example for others to follow.

If you haven’t guessed that someone is me Tyler Wood. I was asked last night why do I blog and what do you get from it.. I blog because I have a story that has changed my life but is changing others just because I decided to open my mouth and be vulnerable. Im nobody special just a guy who almost took his life so I could  learn to help others so they won’t take theirs.

 





Day 444 I want to tell you a story about someone

30 03 2014

Denton Rugby acted like the Dallas Cowboys and when it mattered we got our butts kicked 37-0. We were already in the playoffs and acted like we won something. I think we learned a valuable lesson and we get to see the same team again in May in the state playoffs.  If you have kids you know there are sometimes you just shrug your shoulders. I wonder how people who have two girls do it as parents. Girls are so easy when their little and then Jr. high hits and all hell breaks loose. Girls are mean too. Boys we punch each other and then were good for a month or two.

I heard this quote last night and I’m not sure who I head it from but man it makes you think: “The biggest lie we tell ourselves is that we will have more time.” We all know it’s not true but when were laying there taking our last breathes all we do is talk about the things we should have done.

I want to tell you a story about someone I know: I ve known this fella for a long time, and he was hard nut to crack but he’s finally getting it. I remember him best from high school so that’s where I’ll start.  This guy was someone who had two personalities  and not many knew one side of his personality. People thought he was always friendly, smiling, hard worker and was an example of what to be for other kids growing up, he was a spiritual leader not only for his family but for other students he was also a fan with the women but just to be friends with like a big a brother. and did a lot for others. Which he did. What others didn’t know is that he hurt, he was rejected a lot, made fun of, poor, challenged God whenever he got the chance, would fight and enjoyed watching the blood pour from another persons body. He loved women and would search for anyone who would accept him. He lacked self-confidence but even though he stood alone as a leader was fearful people would see through him and maybe even reach out to him to help, but he was too proud. He had multiple operations before he left school which took away is only real ticket out of the mess he grew up in and now there was nothing to separate him everybody else. He was just a normal guy and that was crippling for him. He wanted to move far away after high school but he could only make his way to West Texas. All that did was get him further from his past  he thought but just made it lonely and more confusing on why his life turned in the direction it did. He thought the best way for people to like him was to fear him. His first semester of college he got beat up so bad it took 5 weeks to heal, when he did he got revenge so and that when the fight was over he pulled the urinal off the wall and beat the three guys with it and pissed on them when it was done just so they wouldn’t forget him. He would sit in the stands at night and pray for a women who would be exactly what God wanted. Yes every night!  He wouldn’t let anyone get close but he sure wanted that. He searched for friendship and love in so many of the wrong places that sometimes he found it. He left West Texas and headed back to Fort Worth to find the football life he was supposed to be. When he got to TCU he found people he didn’t fit in with, a lost passion for football mostly life. Only serious conversation he ever had with his father ended with hatred even more for his father. He also treated the people who cared for him that most like crap and asked them to leave him alone. Fast forward and he gets to UNT and joins a fraternity. This is the same guy that had never had a drink in his life but he had to fit in somewhere because he fit in nowhere. He drank and drank some more and weighed 37o lbs. Who would want that guy! One beautiful blonde did and she turned his life upside down. She did things and made him feel in ways he never had but like everybody else she left him and broke his heart into the tiniest of pieces. He loved or thought what was love and it was gone. With it came more hatred, revenge, harsh words, and pain inflected on anyone who crossed him. How he didn’t end up with a VD, in prison, or dead is beyond him. He lived this most full throttle life of anyone he knew and if you asked or dared his answer was yes.

Then in January 1998 a women walked into his life and changed his whole entire thought process. He knew 3 months into it that he was in love and would get married. He had made plans for their 30, 40 and even 80’s, but on their wedding day he knew it would never last, but said maybe it will workout. He tried to become something he wasn’t, live a life he didn’t want, and impress someone he couldn’t. He was blessed with two beautiful children that he didn’t appreciate because he didn’t appreciate anything and hated every inch of himself.  Luck would have it that again would crush him and take his dignity, family, business, friendships, marriage, and his whole being was destroyed. So much so on a Tuesday morning he planned to take his life so “others” could benefit from his life insurance and not be a burden any longer. God intervened and actually for the first time talked to him so he could here.  Since that fateful morning he has become a new man, still flawed and dead inside some days, but he his honest, fun-loving, charismatic, loves to make others laugh, would do anything for anybody, great husband material one day and an example for others to follow.

If you haven’t guessed that someone is me Tyler Wood. I was asked last night why do I blog and what do you get from it.. I blog because I have a story that has changed my life but is changing others just because I decided to open my mouth and be vulnerable. Im nobody special just a guy who almost took his life so I could  learn to help others so they won’t take theirs.





Day 178 Ecstasy or Agony

5 07 2013

4th of July was pretty awesome. Got to spend with my mom, nephew, 2 aunts and my 95-year-old Grandma. She’s still pretty cool and can still kick butt. The City of Fort Worth hired a company from Japan to put on the fireworks show and it was great and different. With shapes and faces and one heck of a finally.

I started Crossfit this week and it is the toughest but the best thing I have done for myself in a while. I did three times this week and yesterday we did 165 wall ball squats. Today I’m walking pretty darn slow! If your serious about getting into he best shape with a really great group of people now is the time.

Im not sure this person Im about to write about reads the blog anymore  but I have something that still eats at me from a past hurt. I asked this person do you care if I was dead or alive! This was two years ago and still today no answer. I still wonder would they be in ecstasy or agony about my death. Im sure your think they would be agony but honestly I don’t know. It has been left up to me to wonder and that still hurts! I know I tried to hard to open up and change and make a better relationship, but all I did was not be the man I thought I was going to be, I disappointed and failed at things but not to answer if you want me dead or alive. I never could understand why someone we leave someone so alone with that thought always dangling in their mind. I have no idea why today I wanted to write about this but I guess I have the keyboard so it’s just my thoughts.

If you read this and you know who you are please give me a peace of mind that you see what I have become and what I did is over. Just tell me you would be in agony and not ecstasy.








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