Day 1566 Why didn’t you just ask

8 06 2017

Hello world: On Tuesday of this week I approved my book and it went to the printer. it took me 2.5 years to decided I was worth writing a book and anyone would read it. Yes Im excited but having it my hands will feel amazing. You better buy a copy pretty please.

Why? One of the most thought-provoking questions we can ask? On the other end is the answer. Sometimes its good and sometimes it’s not. So why do we stop asking Why as an adult. A few reasons I believe: We don’t care, the answer is going to hurt, we think we already know the answer. Little kids ask why all the time yes we get tired of hearing why and finally because we said so. That doesn’t stop them though.  Brian Dodge was a speaker I heard once and he said as an adult when we stop asking why our learning is over. How scary is that? So then we go to the famous art of assuming. Every time I assumed I was wrong. Do you remember the last time someone said Why didn’t you just ask me? You say I don’t know and walk away like why didn’t I just ask?

I’ll agree that when you ask sometimes the answer is awful. I asked my ex-wife when it was over do you love me anymore. She said no. My heart dropped to me knees I felt sick but I knew I needed to hear it. In college I asked a girl who was out of my league that I flirted with forever why wouldn’t you go out with me. She looked me in the eye and said I will you just have to ask me.

Why is  gathering wisdom, understanding, caring and respect. So the next time you don’t ask why just remember this is what you’re missing out on:

Showing someone you care, asking why is letting them you took time out for them their special, To eliminate confusion, To demonstrate humility to another, To enable a person to discover answers for themselves, To gain empathy through better understanding another’s view, To begin a relationship, To strengthen a relationship, To gain a person’s attention, To solve a problem.

Why you don’t ask these things are also possible: To find a culprit, To embarrass and shame, To appear superior, to create fear, To manipulate, To play the victim, as in, “Why is this happening to me?

Every time I don’t ask why I miss out on something. If you know me I ask a lot of questions not because I’m nosy but I care. I want to know you, I want to know what makes you tick, you’re special but I don’t know why until I know you. Its called conversation which I know is a dying art, but my best relationships are the ones where I know why and Im talking the dirty why too.

Why ask why. We need to know, someone needs to know you care. Love is asking why. Sometimes you don’t want to the but you might be pleasantly surprised what the answer really is.

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Day 975 When nobody is looking

28 09 2015

Its been 10 days since I blogged. It seems like I have a million ideas but couldn’t put my thoughts into words so here I am today trying to put 10 days of thoughts into one blog.

One lesson I remember from my dad is that who you are when nobody is looking is truly who you are. I fought for so long. I wanted you to think I was the greatest thing since Oreos. I would tell you all the great things I did, from helping the homeless, giving money to people who needed it, giving a job to someone or writing a note to make sure someone was having a great day, I would pick up trash in front of someone, or speak loud enough when I was giving good advice so everyone could hear it.  Problem was is that when I was alone, I hated people, I talked about them, I cussed God, if I didn’t worry about me then nobody will including God, I thought about every fear I had, my lack of self-esteem, how unworthy I was, and how much I hated myself.

If you’re trying to look great on the grand stage of life you can. You can paint the most glorious of pictures and tell how great it is but  if all you’re doing inside is building walls then eventually you crumble. If you have to tell people how great you are then you’re not.  If your only willing to do good when someone is watching the boat has been missed.Some of the greatest people I know have never mentioned a thing good they have done. Somebody else did or I caught it with my own eyes. That is what makes somebody good and a warrior for God when they aren’t looking for praise but just to truly make someones life better.

My other point is what you think about yourself when your alone is who you are. Some of what society says are the best people in the world hit their Rock bottom because who they were when they were alone is what they couldn’t overcome. My friend AJ always said you could put a dress on a pig but it’s still a pig. Meaning in this instance that if you proclaim all your good and inside your dying then that’s what will happen.

Here’s a great example: If we were talking I would tell you that I want to love again and would do anything to prove that. When I get alone with my thoughts and even when Im talking to God my conversation is totally different. Its more that: I won’t fall in love, I don’t deserve it, God doesn’t want that for me and essentially I sabotage myself. We are what we believe not what we proclaim out loud to others.

So after getting a good jolt of reality today I have more to work on. I sigh because the process never ends but if you know it then God and we can fix it. It’s so true that you are what you believe when your alone then at least there are good things I believe that I never used to believe so I have to look at the positive too.

When I’m alone I know I like pizza, Oreos and football. See I’m already getting better. Thank you





Day 975 When nobody is looking

27 09 2015

Its been 10 days since I blogged. It seems like I have a million ideas but couldn’t put my thoughts into words so here I am today trying to put 10 days of thoughts into one blog.

One lesson I remember from my dad is that who you are when nobody is looking is truly who you are. I fought for so long. I wanted you to think I was the greatest thing since Oreos. I would tell you all the great things I did, from helping the homeless, giving money to people who needed it, giving a job to someone or writing a note to make sure someone was having a great day, I would pick up trash in front of someone, or speak loud enough when I was giving good advice so everyone could hear it.  Problem was is that when I was alone, I hated people, I talked about them, I cussed God, if I didn’t worry about me then nobody will including God, I thought about every fear I had, my lack of self-esteem, how unworthy I was, and how much I hated myself.

If you’re trying to look great on the grand stage of life you can. You can paint the most glorious of pictures and tell how great it is but  if all you’re doing inside is building walls then eventually you crumble. If you have to tell people how great you are then you’re not.  If your only willing to do good when someone is watching the boat has been missed.Some of the greatest people I know have never mentioned a thing good they have done. Somebody else did or I caught it with my own eyes. That is what makes somebody good and a warrior for God when they aren’t looking for praise but just to truly make someones life better.

My other point is what you think about yourself when your alone is who you are. Some of what society says are the best people in the world hit their Rock bottom because who they were when they were alone is what they couldn’t overcome. My friend AJ always said you could put a dress on a pig but it’s still a pig. Meaning in this instance that if you proclaim all your good and inside your dying then that’s what will happen.

Here’s a great example: If we were talking I would tell you that I want to love again and would do anything to prove that. When I get alone with my thoughts and even when Im talking to God my conversation is totally different. Its more that: I won’t fall in love, I don’t deserve it, God doesn’t want that for me and essentially I sabotage myself. We are what we believe not what we proclaim out loud to others.

So after getting a good jolt of reality today I have more to work on. I sigh because the process never ends but if you know it then God and we can fix it. It’s so true that you are what you believe when your alone then at least there are good things I believe that I never used to believe so I have to look at the positive too.

When I’m alone I know I like pizza, Oreos and football. See I’m already getting better. Thank you





Day 559 Be like the Cool Kids

11 08 2014

Hanging out last night you always hear very intriguing conversations and this one I didn’t expect to hear at a bar. There’s a song out right now by a band called Echosmith Cool Kids and its about wanting to be one of the cool kids in school. Here are the lyrics:

[Verse 1]
She sees them walking in a straight line, that’s not really her style
They all got the same heartbeat, but hers is falling behind

Nothing in this world could ever bring them down
Yeah, they’re invincible and she’s just in the background
And she says

[Hook]
I wish that I could be like the cool kids cuz all the cool kids, they seem to fit in
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids

[Verse 2]
He sees them talking with a big smile, but they haven’t got a clue
Yeah, they’re living the good life, can’t see what he is going through
They’re driving fast cars, but they don’t know where they’re going
In the fast lane, living life without knowing
And he says

[Hook 2]
I wish that I could be like the cool kids cuz all the cool kids, they seem to fit in
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids
I wish that I could be like the cool kids cuz all the cool kids, they seem to get it
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids
And they said

[Outro]
I wish that I could be like the cool kids cuz all the cool kids, they seem to fit in
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids
I wish that I could be like the cool kids cuz all the cool kids, they seem to fit in
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids
I wish that I could be like the cool kids cuz all the cool kids, they seem to get it
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids

message of the song is simple: the coolest thing you can be is yourself. But more often than not, kids, teenagers, or even adults that they relate to the kids they’re singing about. That they feel like the outsider looking in.

The cry to be like the cool kids… it’s something that everyone kind of goes through whether you want to act like it or not, There’s always somebody out there that you kind of wish, If only I could do this, or do that.’ I think that’s why the song connects with people so well. Which leads me to the conversation last night.

The conversation was between around 21-year-old kids and they were talking about how they always wished they would have been cool kids. They had everything, everything was easy, they had no problems. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing but then I remembered high school and how people thought of the cool kids. I was never the cool kid just popular because I treated everybody with respect but I knew the “cool kids” and hung with some of the them. I saw the problems, I saw the drug use, the alcohol, the crappy home life, but we always choose what we want to see. Money or being cool didn’t solve crap. Now a lot of the “cool  kids” struggle and people seem surprised at the reunion or parties or get togethers that there life hasn’t gone the way we thought it would. I understand  how kids can relate because they really don’t know better.  We have adults though think and believe the same way. We see Peoples FB posts, or we see this or that. We hear from someone elses screwed up perspective how great someones elses life is based on what we see outside of the home or on FB. Once the door closes on someone’s home I promise nobody is a cool kid. Sure some are better than others but everybody is in a season. It may be good now but  seasons change. So what does all this mean: Stop trying to be like someone else, living their life, or wishing you had their life because one day you may just get it and being the cool kid ain’t easy.





Day 559 Be like the Cool Kids

10 08 2014

Hanging out last night you always hear very intriguing conversations and this one I didn’t expect to hear at a bar. There’s a song out right now by a band called Echosmith Cool Kids and its about wanting to be one of the cool kids in school. Here are the lyrics:

[Verse 1]
She sees them walking in a straight line, that’s not really her style
They all got the same heartbeat, but hers is falling behind

Nothing in this world could ever bring them down
Yeah, they’re invincible and she’s just in the background
And she says

[Hook]
I wish that I could be like the cool kids cuz all the cool kids, they seem to fit in
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids

[Verse 2]
He sees them talking with a big smile, but they haven’t got a clue
Yeah, they’re living the good life, can’t see what he is going through
They’re driving fast cars, but they don’t know where they’re going
In the fast lane, living life without knowing
And he says

[Hook 2]
I wish that I could be like the cool kids cuz all the cool kids, they seem to fit in
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids
I wish that I could be like the cool kids cuz all the cool kids, they seem to get it
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids
And they said

[Outro]
I wish that I could be like the cool kids cuz all the cool kids, they seem to fit in
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids
I wish that I could be like the cool kids cuz all the cool kids, they seem to fit in
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids
I wish that I could be like the cool kids cuz all the cool kids, they seem to get it
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids

message of the song is simple: the coolest thing you can be is yourself. But more often than not, kids, teenagers, or even adults that they relate to the kids they’re singing about. That they feel like the outsider looking in.

The cry to be like the cool kids… it’s something that everyone kind of goes through whether you want to act like it or not, There’s always somebody out there that you kind of wish, If only I could do this, or do that.’ I think that’s why the song connects with people so well. Which leads me to the conversation last night.

The conversation was between around 21-year-old kids and they were talking about how they always wished they would have been cool kids. They had everything, everything was easy, they had no problems. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing but then I remembered high school and how people thought of the cool kids. I was never the cool kid just popular because I treated everybody with respect but I knew the “cool kids” and hung with some of the them. I saw the problems, I saw the drug use, the alcohol, the crappy home life, but we always choose what we want to see. Money or being cool didn’t solve crap. Now a lot of the “cool  kids” struggle and people seem surprised at the reunion or parties or get togethers that there life hasn’t gone the way we thought it would. I understand  how kids can relate because they really don’t know better.  We have adults though think and believe the same way. We see Peoples FB posts, or we see this or that. We hear from someone elses screwed up perspective how great someones elses life is based on what we see outside of the home or on FB. Once the door closes on someone’s home I promise nobody is a cool kid. Sure some are better than others but everybody is in a season. It may be good now but  seasons change. So what does all this mean: Stop trying to be like someone else, living their life, or wishing you had their life because one day you may just get it and being the cool kid ain’t easy.








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