Day 293 Kill or be killed

31 10 2013

Almost Halloween and I like Candy! I’m a fan of Kit Kat, Candy corn and The Candy Pumpkin! Also I’m sure if your old school you remember when we used to get the popcorn balls. That was greatness! Now you can’t give away popcorn balls because we all poison candy or whatever the news says we dd.For the second year in a row we made pumpkin seeds which are great just make sure you boil them first or they are horrible. I found out the first year.

Met a man yesterday at a construction site and sometimes either you have a pull to talk to someone or they feel they need to talk to you! Lucky for me he wanted to talk to me. We talked about the construction project and then he asked for me to tell him my story!  Not sure why besides the fact i looked tired. I explained my childhood, dad, marriage, kids, and hardships very condensed version and the first thing he said to me was overcome! He wanted to ask me questions but I asked for his story first! He explained divorce, the death of his son at 27, his two daughters and his new wife which her ex-husband killed their two sons and himself in front of her.  I was taken back and really started wanting to know why all of this crap happens. He then pulls out his bible. (This is very rare in the construction world I have seen more porn mags than bibles) and turns to revelations.  He has it highlighted and underlined the word overcome. It’s there 3 times and then looks at me and said besides, faith, hope and love God wants us to overcome! In my head I was like duh I know that, but then he said you know like the times you wanted to kill yourself. He probably thought I was looking at him like I saw a ghost, or when you thought about giving up your kids and moving away? (Again my Ghost face) or the time you business went away and your whole entire worth as a person was gone! I know you wanted to quit but you overcame.

This guy is probably 60 and that’s what I love about wisdom and older age. You know before you ask because all of our lives are very similar. He explained how he wanted to kill himself, his lack of worth and just being fed up with being a shitty man! He said the first part of overcoming is trying to stop understanding the unexplainable. Surround yourself with people that are good for your life, and finally count your blessings, rather than your loses. He said if you do the opposite of those your killing yourself or your going to be killed by someone else. Not in a physical way but once we give someone else the power typically that person is there to kill our soul! I needed to hear this man yesterday! I sat there think about all of my oh why me! Then I heard what I needed to hear!

If you know me I started the world in my mom’s Stomach upside down feet first (Which will be the title of my book). I started rough and it really didn’t get any smoother. People don’t care about the pain in your life because they have it too. They just want to see the baby or the painted picture of your pain. If you want to lead people or be an example you have to overcome. There really isn’t a choice! I stepped back yesterday and looked at what I had overcome since birth and where I’m at today and I’m proud! I’m not proud of some of the situations I was in but Im here and Im making a difference. I listen to the men in my men’s group and they heap tons of praise on me, I have friends  that love me and I have total strangers that tell me thank you for being vulnerable and telling you what I have overcome so they may have hope! God will bless the one that overcomes. It’s in Revelations in the bible God’s word! If anything I have learned God hasn’t lied to me yet so overcoming is all I know to do!





Day 293 Kill or be killed

30 10 2013

Almost Halloween and I like Candy! I’m a fan of Kit Kat, Candy corn and The Candy Pumpkin! Also I’m sure if your old school you remember when we used to get the popcorn balls. That was greatness! Now you can’t give away popcorn balls because we all poison candy or whatever the news says we dd.For the second year in a row we made pumpkin seeds which are great just make sure you boil them first or they are horrible. I found out the first year.

Met a man yesterday at a construction site and sometimes either you have a pull to talk to someone or they feel they need to talk to you! Lucky for me he wanted to talk to me. We talked about the construction project and then he asked for me to tell him my story!  Not sure why besides the fact i looked tired. I explained my childhood, dad, marriage, kids, and hardships very condensed version and the first thing he said to me was overcome! He wanted to ask me questions but I asked for his story first! He explained divorce, the death of his son at 27, his two daughters and his new wife which her ex-husband killed their two sons and himself in front of her.  I was taken back and really started wanting to know why all of this crap happens. He then pulls out his bible. (This is very rare in the construction world I have seen more porn mags than bibles) and turns to revelations.  He has it highlighted and underlined the word overcome. It’s there 3 times and then looks at me and said besides, faith, hope and love God wants us to overcome! In my head I was like duh I know that, but then he said you know like the times you wanted to kill yourself. He probably thought I was looking at him like I saw a ghost, or when you thought about giving up your kids and moving away? (Again my Ghost face) or the time you business went away and your whole entire worth as a person was gone! I know you wanted to quit but you overcame.

This guy is probably 60 and that’s what I love about wisdom and older age. You know before you ask because all of our lives are very similar. He explained how he wanted to kill himself, his lack of worth and just being fed up with being a shitty man! He said the first part of overcoming is trying to stop understanding the unexplainable. Surround yourself with people that are good for your life, and finally count your blessings, rather than your loses. He said if you do the opposite of those your killing yourself or your going to be killed by someone else. Not in a physical way but once we give someone else the power typically that person is there to kill our soul! I needed to hear this man yesterday! I sat there think about all of my oh why me! Then I heard what I needed to hear!

If you know me I started the world in my mom’s Stomach upside down feet first (Which will be the title of my book). I started rough and it really didn’t get any smoother. People don’t care about the pain in your life because they have it too. They just want to see the baby or the painted picture of your pain. If you want to lead people or be an example you have to overcome. There really isn’t a choice! I stepped back yesterday and looked at what I had overcome since birth and where I’m at today and I’m proud! I’m not proud of some of the situations I was in but Im here and Im making a difference. I listen to the men in my men’s group and they heap tons of praise on me, I have friends  that love me and I have total strangers that tell me thank you for being vulnerable and telling you what I have overcome so they may have hope! God will bless the one that overcomes. It’s in Revelations in the bible God’s word! If anything I have learned God hasn’t lied to me yet so overcoming is all I know to do!





Day 57 Excuse me while I take this off

18 10 2012

I m always in  weird situations. Not sure if it that people feel free or open around me but at a customer’s home today the lady came out of her bedroom and without her robe. She showed me what she needed done in her home and she went to her bedroom. I took measurements etc. I was about to say would you like to go with a darker paint color for the walls. I looked up and there stands the women in her bra and panties. This was not a good scene physically. I threw up in my mouth a bit and tried not to look. The women stayed that way until I left. I was waiting for a pat on the ass when I was leaving but thank gosh she just closed the door and she did say i look forward to seeing you soon. Okay I get it she wanted something but not from this guy. The joys of the construction world never seem to amaze me.

A good friend Jen L. told me about taking stand up comedy classes in Dallas. I have always thought of myself as a comedian more of a rated R but still. There is actually a chance this could happen. If I do this I expect you to come support me or what will really happen is heckle me. The class is actually over relationships and the funny or not so funny parts of a relationship. Look out world I have a ton of crap.

I was at Barnes and Noble the other day and I walked past the National Geographic 50 of the Worlds last great places. This is a must buy and read. I know have a few more bucket list items. I never knew of any of these places and very people did until about 5-10 years ago. Pick it up and read it for sure.

I think through this journey the number one thing I have been taught is about Judgement and how Debilitating it is. I read a book by Dr. James Richards called How to stop the pain. I can say that this book was a huge stepping stone in helping me see things in a different light. Even for all of you that don’t have problems like me its a great read and will open up your eyes to things we do that we don’t even consciously know.

Here is a great part of the book: Confessions free a guilty heart!

In our most desperate attempts to escape pain and find pleasure, we commit offenses. We violate others in hope of finding some kind of gratification. When our wrongdoing becomes apparent people seek vindication through “conviction”. The more we seek to cover our sin, the more vehemently people seek to expose us. The only hope of finding mercy is honesty. He who conceals his sins does not prosper (Proverbs 28:13) When we find ourselves in fault the shortest route to peace of heart and POSSIBLE forgiveness from the offended is in confession. Confession not only appeases the offended, but it also frees the guilty heart.

When people accuse us or seek to convict us, we become paralyzed. We are afraid to confess for the fear of harm. Their desire for vindication forces us to protect ourselves, and our fear of confession provokes them. true facing wrath can be short,  immediate external pain. As unappealing as that is, denial produces a lifetime of internal pain.

 

Love you pass the along

 

 

 








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