Day 1095 What I learned from being Shallow

1 02 2016

AC comes back on this weekend  as we reach 80 on Sunday. I know people are so happy but those same people complain about their allergies and bugs you can’t have them both people!! Oh I also want a blizzard just one time not the kind at Dairy Queen but where you can make real snowmen.

If I typed this out and said I wasn’t shallow almost my whole life that would be a huge lie. Sure guys are more physical creatures blah blah but I was worse. Looks were actually the only thing I cared about. Oh sure I would tell the girl all the stuff I was supposed to but honestly it was physical. I told “her” every chance I had how beautiful she was and sure she liked but what about who she was. The reason you either fall in or out of love with someone. The make or break stuff. Well I knew it but I never explained it. The way I was raised or maybe I forgot to but I didn’t get Tyler you are this and that. I did get I’m proud of you but I never knew why really. So in my marriage or dating life before my marriage I was always so astounded when I complimented your looks but never told you about the important things and “she complained” I would always tear her down real well with what I didn’t like but I never filled her heart with the things that mattered. It was either I didn’t want to, didn’t know how to, or just wouldn’t.

Last year my daughter I was talking to her and told her I’m so proud of you Morgan and she asked me why. She had never done that. I always tell her everyday shes beautiful. I just told her because she was my daughter. Guess what that’s not enough!! I went into counseling and talked about it and started reading online. If we don’t want to be superficial and don’t want our kids to focus on looks then we have to teach them that. We also have to teach adults that. True there must be physical attraction if your going to date , what about what you want to find in someone. What about just a friendship. If you’re building up someone telling them all the great things about them ,they will begin to believe it. If all we concentrate on is looks then that’s all we will find. Have you ever met someone who is beautiful and after getting to know them they became just an ugly human. Or you meet someone and say they are cute  and then you get to know them and your eyes open and you see them so beautiful.

For me I’m the second. I’m cute but once you get to know me your like why isn’t he on chubby GQ. lol. I have a great responsibility to my kids and anyone in my circle to  tell them they physically look good but also what makes them so special. If we spend more time telling others to find the beautiful person inside then our relationships become more lasting and fulling.

If you have never watched Shallow Hal go rent it download it or whatever we do nowadays. I was Jack Black in the movie. If your relationships are failing then try find the beauty inside. I’ve worked so hard to let my kids know their inner beauty and it’s still a struggle because all of theirs lives I just concentrated on the outside. Especially with girls and women, society all ready beats them up enough about their looks its time for men to make a stand and teach them what matters. Relationships and marriages didn’t fail because of looks they failed because you never knew what to look for and when the newness of the looks faded you were like crap I don’t like this person. Take it from a recovering Shallow Hal looks matter but its the ones inside that last forever.

 





Day 1095 What I learned from being Shallow

29 01 2016

AC comes back on this weekend  as we reach 80 on Sunday. I know people are so happy but those same people complain about their allergies and bugs you can’t have them both people!! Oh I also want a blizzard just one time not the kind at Dairy Queen but where you can make real snowmen.

If I typed this out and said I wasn’t shallow almost my whole life that would be a huge lie. Sure guys are more physical creatures blah blah but I was worse. Looks were actually the only thing I cared about. Oh sure I would tell the girl all the stuff I was supposed to but honestly it was physical. I told “her” every chance I had how beautiful she was and sure she liked but what about who she was. The reason you either fall in or out of love with someone. The make or break stuff. Well I knew it but I never explained it. The way I was raised or maybe I forgot to but I didn’t get Tyler you are this and that. I did get I’m proud of you but I never knew why really. So in my marriage or dating life before my marriage I was always so astounded when I complimented your looks but never told you about the important things and “she complained” I would always tear her down real well with what I didn’t like but I never filled her heart with the things that mattered. It was either I didn’t want to, didn’t know how to, or just wouldn’t.

Last year my daughter I was talking to her and told her I’m so proud of you Morgan and she asked me why. She had never done that. I always tell her everyday shes beautiful. I just told her because she was my daughter. Guess what that’s not enough!! I went into counseling and talked about it and started reading online. If we don’t want to be superficial and don’t want our kids to focus on looks then we have to teach them that. We also have to teach adults that. True there must be physical attraction if your going to date , what about what you want to find in someone. What about just a friendship. If you’re building up someone telling them all the great things about them ,they will begin to believe it. If all we concentrate on is looks then that’s all we will find. Have you ever met someone who is beautiful and after getting to know them they became just an ugly human. Or you meet someone and say they are cute  and then you get to know them and your eyes open and you see them so beautiful.

For me I’m the second. I’m cute but once you get to know me your like why isn’t he on chubby GQ. lol. I have a great responsibility to my kids and anyone in my circle to  tell them they physically look good but also what makes them so special. If we spend more time telling others to find the beautiful person inside then our relationships become more lasting and fulling.

If you have never watched Shallow Hal go rent it download it or whatever we do nowadays. I was Jack Black in the movie. If your relationships are failing then try find the beauty inside. I’ve worked so hard to let my kids know their inner beauty and it’s still a struggle because all of theirs lives I just concentrated on the outside. Especially with girls and women, society all ready beats them up enough about their looks its time for men to make a stand and teach them what matters. Relationships and marriages didn’t fail because of looks they failed because you never knew what to look for and when the newness of the looks faded you were like crap I don’t like this person. Take it from a recovering Shallow Hal looks matter but its the ones inside that last forever.





Day 631 You should be ashamed of yourself

20 10 2014

My beautiful mom turned 72 years old yesterday. The most important woman God gave me and she is such an amazing person. She sacrificed everything for us for so many years. She gives everything she has to everyone. She is what the movies portray and hallmark writes about.
Everyday mom I love you so much and thank you for being what God created you for. So yeah I’m pretty darn lucky to have her as my mom.

When I write a blog at times I write just because I think someone needs to hear it, I do it just because  or I do it for me so I can go back and read later. This one is for me today. I wrote this on my Facebook account on Thursday. It’s okay to feel shame, hate, anger, embarrassment, for something we have done. It means we still have our convictions and that’s what helps us to not repeat it. We can’t live in those things. I spent the majority of my life beating myself up and many days still do. I try to accept I’m flawed but you have to start telling yourself the good about you. Receive compliments no Matter how foreign they sound to you. GOD forgives us from the moment of our stupidity it’s time we start. We are missing so many glorious moments because we choose to believe things about ourselves that aren’t true. Let’s stop beating up our shadow. ‪#‎realtalk‬. The more I get to speak to groups and just random folks so many of us are so embarrassed and ashamed of our past. When I tell someone who its okay to feel that way the looks on their face is one of being puzzled. Why people can’t understand that WE ALL have done things to be ashamed of. Some of us on a daily basis but no matter what if we still feel convicted then we still have hope. It’s when the conviction of our heart stops that you have a lot to worry about.I could bore you with my list of failures of my past even my past being this morning but we all have them. I still beat the heck out of myself and sometimes I cripple myself with my thoughts on how horrible I am. I then get reminders sometimes suttle and sometimes a smack in the face about how good I am and where I was compared to where I am.

Be ashamed be angry, be fearful but stop living in it. Yes we learn from our past and we sometimes have to remember those things in life to be able to correct or future. You and I are not what we did in our past but if we choose to never leave that behind us we become that. God forgives the moment we decide to be stupid but we live our whole life in our past. If God forgives us don’t you think we should. I promise the days I wake up and decide that I’m okay, I pretty darn special, I’m making a difference. My day is better and my outlook is better. The days that I punch myself in every way I can I lose that day and my outlook sucks. Everyday is not going to be good no matter how great your outlook. Life happens but all that means is that one day was rough don’t stretch that day into a week, month etc..  If you want to learn how to do this start paying other people compliments and words of encouragement. Then when you hear them you start slowly believing in them and accepting them as well. I promise it works if you don’t believe it try it. No matter what you won’t lose.  PS Go Cowboys!





Day 631 You should be ashamed of yourself

19 10 2014

My beautiful mom turned 72 years old yesterday. The most important woman God gave me and she is such an amazing person. She sacrificed everything for us for so many years. She gives everything she has to everyone. She is what the movies portray and hallmark writes about.
Everyday mom I love you so much and thank you for being what God created you for. So yeah I’m pretty darn lucky to have her as my mom.

When I write a blog at times I write just because I think someone needs to hear it, I do it just because  or I do it for me so I can go back and read later. This one is for me today. I wrote this on my Facebook account on Thursday. It’s okay to feel shame, hate, anger, embarrassment, for something we have done. It means we still have our convictions and that’s what helps us to not repeat it. We can’t live in those things. I spent the majority of my life beating myself up and many days still do. I try to accept I’m flawed but you have to start telling yourself the good about you. Receive compliments no Matter how foreign they sound to you. GOD forgives us from the moment of our stupidity it’s time we start. We are missing so many glorious moments because we choose to believe things about ourselves that aren’t true. Let’s stop beating up our shadow. ‪#‎realtalk‬. The more I get to speak to groups and just random folks so many of us are so embarrassed and ashamed of our past. When I tell someone who its okay to feel that way the looks on their face is one of being puzzled. Why people can’t understand that WE ALL have done things to be ashamed of. Some of us on a daily basis but no matter what if we still feel convicted then we still have hope. It’s when the conviction of our heart stops that you have a lot to worry about.I could bore you with my list of failures of my past even my past being this morning but we all have them. I still beat the heck out of myself and sometimes I cripple myself with my thoughts on how horrible I am. I then get reminders sometimes suttle and sometimes a smack in the face about how good I am and where I was compared to where I am.

Be ashamed be angry, be fearful but stop living in it. Yes we learn from our past and we sometimes have to remember those things in life to be able to correct or future. You and I are not what we did in our past but if we choose to never leave that behind us we become that. God forgives the moment we decide to be stupid but we live our whole life in our past. If God forgives us don’t you think we should. I promise the days I wake up and decide that I’m okay, I pretty darn special, I’m making a difference. My day is better and my outlook is better. The days that I punch myself in every way I can I lose that day and my outlook sucks. Everyday is not going to be good no matter how great your outlook. Life happens but all that means is that one day was rough don’t stretch that day into a week, month etc..  If you want to learn how to do this start paying other people compliments and words of encouragement. Then when you hear them you start slowly believing in them and accepting them as well. I promise it works if you don’t believe it try it. No matter what you won’t lose.  PS Go Cowboys!





Day 631 You should be ashamed of yourself

19 10 2014

My beautiful mom turned 72 years old yesterday. The most important woman God gave me and she is such an amazing person. She sacrificed everything for us for so many years. She gives everything she has to everyone. She is what the movies portray and hallmark writes about.
Everyday mom I love you so much and thank you for being what God created you for. So yeah I’m pretty darn lucky to have her as my mom.

When I write a blog at times I write just because I think someone needs to hear it, I do it just because  or I do it for me so I can go back and read later. This one is for me today. I wrote this on my Facebook account on Thursday. It’s okay to feel shame, hate, anger, embarrassment, for something we have done. It means we still have our convictions and that’s what helps us to not repeat it. We can’t live in those things. I spent the majority of my life beating myself up and many days still do. I try to accept I’m flawed but you have to start telling yourself the good about you. Receive compliments no Matter how foreign they sound to you. GOD forgives us from the moment of our stupidity it’s time we start. We are missing so many glorious moments because we choose to believe things about ourselves that aren’t true. Let’s stop beating up our shadow. ‪#‎realtalk‬. The more I get to speak to groups and just random folks so many of us are so embarrassed and ashamed of our past. When I tell someone who its okay to feel that way the looks on their face is one of being puzzled. Why people can’t understand that WE ALL have done things to be ashamed of. Some of us on a daily basis but no matter what if we still feel convicted then we still have hope. It’s when the conviction of our heart stops that you have a lot to worry about.I could bore you with my list of failures of my past even my past being this morning but we all have them. I still beat the heck out of myself and sometimes I cripple myself with my thoughts on how horrible I am. I then get reminders sometimes suttle and sometimes a smack in the face about how good I am and where I was compared to where I am.

Be ashamed be angry, be fearful but stop living in it. Yes we learn from our past and we sometimes have to remember those things in life to be able to correct or future. You and I are not what we did in our past but if we choose to never leave that behind us we become that. God forgives the moment we decide to be stupid but we live our whole life in our past. If God forgives us don’t you think we should. I promise the days I wake up and decide that I’m okay, I pretty darn special, I’m making a difference. My day is better and my outlook is better. The days that I punch myself in every way I can I lose that day and my outlook sucks. Everyday is not going to be good no matter how great your outlook. Life happens but all that means is that one day was rough don’t stretch that day into a week, month etc..  If you want to learn how to do this start paying other people compliments and words of encouragement. Then when you hear them you start slowly believing in them and accepting them as well. I promise it works if you don’t believe it try it. No matter what you won’t lose.  PS Go Cowboys!





Day 117 A women’s smile

2 05 2013

I love Texas and always will but two weird things have happened this year. We haven’t had any really bad storms which means there coming and tonight it could be 37 degrees Yes in May! I out away winter cloths and this morning my son threw a fit because he said he was sweating yesterday and now I m putting him in a sweater. When he walked outside he said oh what happened. I said mother nature is cranky he then asked whose mother nature. I just said lets just know it’s cold and by Saturday it will be warm.

I’m going to write in the future about flattery and a compliments and there is a very big difference but we all need compliments. Even getting one from a total stranger can keep you smiling and totally change your day for the better.I don’t go looking for nice things to say but sometimes you just know. I walked into a QT yesterday and this lady had amazing hair. Yes when you’re a single guy you notice things you didn’t before.  She dropped her coffee and it  looked like it had been one of those mornings. I let her get her coffee situated and then said told her that her hair was really beautiful. She looked at me and smiled and said how did you know I needed that? I said honestly I liked your hair and you spilled your coffee. She said my husband didn’t say a word and I thought I looked good and you made my day.

I heard the words but what I remembered was her smile. I m  a sucker for a women with a beautiful smile. There is nothing more beautiful when a women looks at you and she’s happy. Not the fake happy but you feel radiance, confidence, appreciation through her smile. I know what it was like to make a women frown and piss her off. I knew the problems were there and getting worse when the smile was gone. If a compliment could make a women smile that way every time I would do it every hour.  What women don’t know that to a man when you smile it lets us know some of the following: You gave us a little leniency, covers up our awkward social mess ups, laugh off hurt, lets us know you may want sex (I did say may). Just know rather than you got me at hello you had me when you smiled.

 





Day 117 A women’s smile

2 05 2013

I love Texas and always will but two weird things have happened this year. We haven’t had any really bad storms which means there coming and tonight it could be 37 degrees Yes in May! I out away winter cloths and this morning my son threw a fit because he said he was sweating yesterday and now I m putting him in a sweater. When he walked outside he said oh what happened. I said mother nature is cranky he then asked whose mother nature. I just said lets just know it’s cold and by Saturday it will be warm.

I’m going to write in the future about flattery and a compliments and there is a very big difference but we all need compliments. Even getting one from a total stranger can keep you smiling and totally change your day for the better.I don’t go looking for nice things to say but sometimes you just know. I walked into a QT yesterday and this lady had amazing hair. Yes when you’re a single guy you notice things you didn’t before.  She dropped her coffee and it  looked like it had been one of those mornings. I let her get her coffee situated and then said told her that her hair was really beautiful. She looked at me and smiled and said how did you know I needed that? I said honestly I liked your hair and you spilled your coffee. She said my husband didn’t say a word and I thought I looked good and you made my day.

I heard the words but what I remembered was her smile. I m  a sucker for a women with a beautiful smile. There is nothing more beautiful when a women looks at you and she’s happy. Not the fake happy but you feel radiance, confidence, appreciation through her smile. I know what it was like to make a women frown and piss her off. I knew the problems were there and getting worse when the smile was gone. If a compliment could make a women smile that way every time I would do it every hour.  What women don’t know that to a man when you smile it lets us know some of the following: You gave us a little leniency, covers up our awkward social mess ups, laugh off hurt, lets us know you may want sex (I did say may). Just know rather than you got me at hello you had me when you smiled.








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