Day 1594 She said I was plankton

16 07 2017

Hello from the 2nd coming of hell from the heat called North Texas. Ill stop complaining but its gross. I love to shower but you cant wash this heat off. Come by and visit me sometime if your from the north I’ll show you how to start a fire off your skin.

My friend Angela sent me a message the other day and said your plankton. you go to the light and bring it back to dark and share. I asked her is that good? She said yes you need to watch  a video she posted from Sadie Robertson from Duck Dynasty. Said she talked about plankton and I immediately came to her mind. I told her I had been called a lot of things in my life but that was a first. She said your one of those people  who share their light with others. So i had to watch the video because the only plankton I knew was from sponge bob.

A plankton is: Plankton (singular plankter) are a diverse group of organisms that live in the water column of large bodies of water and that cannot swim against a current. They provide a crucial source of food to many large aquatic organisms, such as fish and whales. The name plankton is derived from the Greek adjective πλαγκτός (planktos), meaning errant, and by extension “wanderer” or “drifter.

So at this time Im like well I kinda suck,  wanderer, cant swim, a drifter, and things eat me but I continued to listen. Im a floater now. Plankton start at the bottom of the dark ocean and float their way to the top to receive  light (photosynthesis) once it receives the light it goes back down to the darkest part of the ocean to provide 90% of the oceans photosynthesis which in turns provides 50% of the worlds oxygen. So it starts at the bottom of the ocean and goes to the light to bring it back to those things that need it.

So I stopped and thought that’s the best compliment I have ever been given. Truly it is. I have been in the deepest darkest places. I have walked with the devil for a long time, I manipulated life and those around me, I lied to get what I wanted, but truly all I wanted was to receive the light and had no idea how to get there. When I went to take my life there were 2 options take my life or receive the light. Receiving the light is not easy. Its not walking into a room and flipping the switch. Its one, stop believing the lies we have told our self for years, cleaning out the people around us, and then believing what God says about us without say but, . It took me 36 years to get to the point so I can’t expect to receive all the light in one day. What I hope through my texts, messages, blog, speaking, Facebook and Instagram posts is one person take my garbage that I’m real about and says if this guy can do it I can to. I try everyday to go to the light and bring it to those who need it because in all honesty I hate for anyone to feel the way I did or do.

So I wear the title of Plankton as an honor. Some days floating around knowing that someone is going to use me a a source and bring oxygen to them that they may not have had before. I hope I can continue bringing light to you and if I haven’t maybe I will drift into  you shortly and help you just when you need it. LOVE YOU

 

 





Day 1549 so this is what its come to

22 05 2017

Remember naps, kool aid, recess, playing outside until you were so tired you came in I took a bath passed out and did it again the next day.  What about getting something in the mail,run out to the mailbox but no yet, drinking from a water hose, jumping into a pond just because, or taking your shoes off just because. trying to have fun because it was fun,  not to have fun to compensate to make yourself feel better. Anyway I’m saying being an adult is dumb and we continue to do the same thing.

Let say the stats are correct and 2% of people live they life they want. I’ll be generous and say 10% are living the life they want. So that leaves us the other 90%. Here are the things we celebrate now,

  1. I got to work on time,
  2. They canceled the meeting,
  3. Jeans day,
  4. A catered lunch,
  5. Getting to leave 5 minutes early
  6. Living to get a tax return check that we shouldn’t have paid over tot he government anyway
  7. Getting to eat a meal at home. It used to happen everyday
  8. 2 weeks of vacation to work 50 weeks. Then we dread the end of vacation because how much work we have when we get back
  9. Praying to God that the dr., lawyer or bank stay open past 5 so you can get business done so you don’t have to do everything Saturday.
  10. That someone will celebrate your birthday
  11. You go to the mailbox hoping its empty
  12. That somebody would do their laundry
  13. Can we order pizza because I don’t give a crap about anybody eating
  14. Someone body I cared about texted me but I haven’t heard their voice in 2 years
  15.  I worked to retirement YAY, now my health sucks so bad I can’t enjoy it
  16. We get 2 breaks a day to go to the bathroom
  17. Somebody waved at me. Do they like me. It used to mean people were friendly.
  18. You have to be sick to feel like you can stay in bed
  19. Someone pays you a compliment.
  20. I paid my bills for the month yes, oh crap its time to start paying them again.

 

I could go on but how freaking sad is it that life has become this. Routine is a killer of the soul. Why have we accepted this. It’s not God’s plan. ts not our plan but we stick ourselves in the butt with it and wonder why it hurts. It’s just dub, we stopped having fun, or our fun is were going to drink until we don’t remember, because Hangovers are a blast.

My boss is a dumb arse and if you don’t think you’re a dumb arse you are the boss. We live this life to get to a point to enjoy it then our health fades,  our love dies, kids move on forget about us until were dying.

Im not trying to be a pessimist but I’m sick of people not living.  Take them damn trip,  eat the food you shouldn’t , if your job sucks find another one, if you want a dog buy one. Just live because if you were giving a month to live you would start but its to late.

Oh but Tyler I don’t what to do. Okay good stop doing this stupid crap I listed that’s a good start. The only person going to make your life better is you. I mean nobody else will. Don’t blame, just do it.





Day 843 What we have here is a failure to communicate

19 05 2015

Once again I made myself so tired from the weekend that I feel asleep with a book in my hand last night. That crap of learning by osmosis isn’t working either. At least I look smart falling asleep.  I’m also pretty lucky because my family got to hear my testimony this weekend. Rock Bottom Outreach spoke at a church in Azle and everything just fell into place for them to be there. AS excited as I was I had no idea how they would respond. They cried and I know they understand me just a tad bit more. Needless to say Big Jesus showed up!

Sometimes I can be the greatest communicator on earth and other times not so much. I heard a speaker once say that once you stop asking questions, asking why, and assuming that you have started your trek to failure. I failed in my marriage because I thought I knew everything I needed to about her and our life and it started to show I didn’t care. I stopped asking. Assumption is poison. Why? How many times did you get mad at someone who didn’t ask you about something and you got mad. When you asked them why and they said I just thought I knew. I instill in my kids never assume because you will always be wrong. Why not ask and just save the pain?

Why because it hurts to hear the truth. It might be uncomfortable but if you can’t or don’t conflict arises and nobody likes conflict. Well mostly nobody! I have learned this more in the dating world. If you have a failure to communicate or won’t communicate I’m not the guy for you. I learned with hiding my junk it caused ripples which turned into waves. You don’t have to communicate and that’s okay but not for me. When I got real with God I got to see the true me but came to expect to see that in everybody else. It doesn’t happen that way. I want to see any and everything about you. Yes even that. I know your thinking he’s going to judge me. I try so hard not to judge but guess we all judge. No matter how hard we try. My first judging turns into appreciation that you shared. There is not a better compliment that I opened up to you because I feel I could talk to you about anything.

This blog may seem pointless and not very deep and I’m sorry it’s not more  but I think it has so much here in the few words I typed. If your hearing the great Cool Hand Luke in the back of your mind tell you “what we have here is a failure to communicate” then you have failure and its time to open that mouth and ask.





Day 843 What we have here is a failure to communicate

18 05 2015

Once again I made myself so tired from the weekend that I feel asleep with a book in my hand last night. That crap of learning by osmosis isn’t working either. At least I look smart falling asleep.  I’m also pretty lucky because my family got to hear my testimony this weekend. Rock Bottom Outreach spoke at a church in Azle and everything just fell into place for them to be there. AS excited as I was I had no idea how they would respond. They cried and I know they understand me just a tad bit more. Needless to say Big Jesus showed up!

Sometimes I can be the greatest communicator on earth and other times not so much. I heard a speaker once say that once you stop asking questions, asking why, and assuming that you have started your trek to failure. I failed in my marriage because I thought I knew everything I needed to about her and our life and it started to show I didn’t care. I stopped asking. Assumption is poison. Why? How many times did you get mad at someone who didn’t ask you about something and you got mad. When you asked them why and they said I just thought I knew. I instill in my kids never assume because you will always be wrong. Why not ask and just save the pain?

Why because it hurts to hear the truth. It might be uncomfortable but if you can’t or don’t conflict arises and nobody likes conflict. Well mostly nobody! I have learned this more in the dating world. If you have a failure to communicate or won’t communicate I’m not the guy for you. I learned with hiding my junk it caused ripples which turned into waves. You don’t have to communicate and that’s okay but not for me. When I got real with God I got to see the true me but came to expect to see that in everybody else. It doesn’t happen that way. I want to see any and everything about you. Yes even that. I know your thinking he’s going to judge me. I try so hard not to judge but guess we all judge. No matter how hard we try. My first judging turns into appreciation that you shared. There is not a better compliment that I opened up to you because I feel I could talk to you about anything.

This blog may seem pointless and not very deep and I’m sorry it’s not more  but I think it has so much here in the few words I typed. If your hearing the great Cool Hand Luke in the back of your mind tell you “what we have here is a failure to communicate” then you have failure and its time to open that mouth and ask.

 

 





Day 764 Im good, Im okay

2 03 2015

We made it through Ice Armageddon 2015. It was  bad and we had 4 inches of snow. We made real snowman not made of grass and we made snow ice cream that wasn’t yellow.  I enjoy the snow but I swear people’s IQ drops 100 points. Its more dangerous of the idiots that wont drive right than the ones that don’t know how. Anyway here we are with spring around the corner. Bring on the heat!!!

We are taught to always let people now we are okay. Since we were children. If someone asks you’re doing great or okay. You could have been crying in the car but you were told to dry it up and act like you were okay. We take that into adult hood and no matter how much we want to reach out we get the question: How you doing? We always say I’m good, I’m okay. The answer infuriates me even when I know your not okay or good. Guess what I’m the worst at giving you the generic answer of I’m good and I’m okay. WHy do we do it!!

I have a few reasons. One people truly don’t care how you are. They ask because were supposed too. It becomes the customary thing to say. Have you ever told someone besides the customary answer and they freak out. Honestly I’m bad today and  They have no response. They just want to move on and hope that they never ask you again how you’re doing.

Reason two: We have no idea how were doing. We aren’t good, bad, we are lost in our thoughts. We want to tell you something but were hurting too much, we are just lost or we truly we don’t know. When I was getting divorced if you caught me at the right time I might cry on you and it was just safer

Reason three: You haven’t earned the right to know how I’m doing. I give you a generic answer because you haven’t put in on my life and honestly you’re not important enough to know how I’m doing. Since I know your asking because it’s the right thing to do not because you care I’ll reserve the right not to share. If I decided to share with you and you turn away, then in my moment of sharing , you crushed my spirits either good or bad.

Reason four: We actually maybe good and I don’t want you to rain on my parade. Some people may be happy for you but most times in life people get upset at others people’s success or happiness. You share it with the wrong person and your good moment turns to crap. So you just say I’m okay and go tell someone who really cares.

Reason five: People don’t know how to be real. Do you know if you spoke what you felt or when someone pays you a compliment at that time you ask. people really want to communicate with you they just don’t know how. They try one time it doesn’t work out and they will never do it again. We know people who just lost a relative, spouse and child and because we are trained to ask we say How are you? Then we get I’m okay. We want to slap ourselves for asking but what if they answer.  All I’m saying is do what I do sometimes. If someone asks how are you,  say are you sure you want to know. It gives them an out but it also gives you an in. Share your heart sometimes what comes out on the other side is pretty good or I guess okay 🙂





Day 555 The Placebo effect

7 08 2014

I bought school supplies for my kids today. Good Lord that was expensive no I mean really expensive. I need your help please. I was selected as one of the 6 finalist  for A Free Jet Pack Trip in California by Leslie Carter and Bucketlistpublications.com but I need your vote please.

go here: //http://www.bucketlistpublications.com/portfolio-view/jpa-tyler-wood/

I heard a message about The Placebo effect on Monday. What is it? The placebo effect refers to the phenomenon in which some people experience some type of benefit after the administration of a placebo. A placebo is a substance with no known medical effects, such as sterile water, saline solution or a sugar pill. In short, a placebo is a fake treatment that in some cases can produce a very real response. The expectations of the patient play an important role in the placebo effect; the more a person expects the treatment to work, the more likely they are to exhibit a placebo response. What this means to me is that you are what you believe. If you think you are not good enough, your ugly, you don’t deserve it, you’re not worth it then guess what? You are what you think. If you don’t think the placebo effect works think about when someone gives you a compliment and how much better you feel for a short time. The problem become that  you don’t plant or use your placebo. Someone else cannot be your placebo effect. They can enhance it but not be it.

If you know me I’m the hardest critic in the world on me. Some of my thoughts: your ugly, your to big, you’re not funny, you’ll never be good enough, nobody will ever want to understand you, your not a good daddy, your average,. It hurts seeing those things typed out but its true. I try to be real but it still hurts. If I always thought things then my life would never change. So I;m really working everyday to compliment me, tell me Im good and see if the Placebo Effect work. It’s amazing how much more positive I am when I feel good about me. Here is what you have to do: You have to do it everyday and when the crap thoughts creep on you say a prayer to God and do the following:Change your mind, Don’t label yourself, Stop blaming others (you are in charge of you and everything you do and say), Guard your heart, and put on the Armour of God because when the devil has you a, your  screwed if you don’t turn to God.

This will be the hardest thing you do but I promise you it works! You are worth it so do it. Love ya





Day 555 The Placebo effect

6 08 2014

I bought school supplies for my kids today. Good Lord that was expensive no I mean really expensive. I need your help please. I was selected as one of the 6 finalist  for A Free Jet Pack Trip in California by Leslie Carter and Bucketlistpublications.com but I need your vote please.

go here: http://http://www.bucketlistpublications.com/portfolio-view/jpa-tyler-wood/

I heard a message about The Placebo effect on Monday. What is it? The placebo effect refers to the phenomenon in which some people experience some type of benefit after the administration of a placebo. A placebo is a substance with no known medical effects, such as sterile water, saline solution or a sugar pill. In short, a placebo is a fake treatment that in some cases can produce a very real response. The expectations of the patient play an important role in the placebo effect; the more a person expects the treatment to work, the more likely they are to exhibit a placebo response. What this means to me is that you are what you believe. If you think you are not good enough, your ugly, you don’t deserve it, you’re not worth it then guess what? You are what you think. If you don’t think the placebo effect works think about when someone gives you a compliment and how much better you feel for a short time. The problem become that  you don’t plant or use your placebo. Someone else cannot be your placebo effect. They can enhance it but not be it.

If you know me I’m the hardest critic in the world on me. Some of my thoughts: your ugly, your to big, you’re not funny, you’ll never be good enough, nobody will ever want to understand you, your not a good daddy, your average,. It hurts seeing those things typed out but its true. I try to be real but it still hurts. If I always thought things then my life would never change. So I;m really working everyday to compliment me, tell me Im good and see if the Placebo Effect work. It’s amazing how much more positive I am when I feel good about me. Here is what you have to do: You have to do it everyday and when the crap thoughts creep on you say a prayer to God and do the following:Change your mind, Don’t label yourself, Stop blaming others (you are in charge of you and everything you do and say), Guard your heart, and put on the Armour of God because when the devil has you a, your  screwed if you don’t turn to God.

This will be the hardest thing you do but I promise you it works! You are worth it so do it. Love ya





Day 476 Mirror Mirror on your wall

20 05 2014

Sometimes writing just helps. I used to vocalize everything and most times it was in a punishing way.  I used to hate writing because I wasn’t interested in the topic but now the topic can be whatever or wherever my heart and mind desire. I know 3 people who have started blogging because I blog. That’s a heck of a compliment. They don’t have to blog like me but just the fact they can find themselves and express themselves  can be life changing.

Mirror Mirror on the wall who has no damn idea at all. That would be most of us. When you look at the mirror in the mornings whats the first thing you tell yourself.  Is it good and if its good are you doing so you feel like your covering up your true feelings about yourself. In the past 3 weeks I’ve had 3 people ask me about suicide. Not because they wanted my thoughts but they were calling out for a desperate plea to know if they were okay. I wanted to know what they thought about themselves and it is what most have or haven’t thought about themselves. This hurts too much, I’m ugly, I’m not worthy, he/she didn’t love me, nothing I do is right, God’s not listening to me, I don’t matter to anyone, my past won’t leave me.   The problem is we all have a disability and that is us. Many days I believe it would be better to blind so we couldn’t see ourselves.  We then compare ourselves to that supposed person that has it together. That person who is trying so hard to show you how they have it all together is the one dying the most. We still take that and go home and look in the mirror and wonder why I can’t be like them.

I can’t stop the pain. I can’t change anyone if they don’t want to change. I would tell you to throw all your mirrors away but you won’t. So tomorrow morning wake-up and walk to your mirror and just say I look good today, Im worthy, I matter. Anything that will help you see the great in you. GOD DIDN”T MAKE MISTAKES. It doesn’t matter what you have done, it’s never to late to start over, or see yourself in a way you haven’t. Sometimes  its the people in our life that can help us through this journey, pick wisely and keep the ones close that help make you better. Those reading this that know me. I know take my own advice and I’m trying!





Day 122 Flattery Vs Compliment

7 05 2013

Today is a great day in my life my baby girl turned 11. She was born at 8:50 pm and I remember the all out Oh my God moment and the fact that I was a father to the most beautiful little girl who was born with more hair than me.  She has been an amazing child through the divorce with being honest and taking things in stride and telling us both when she is bothered by something. She is a really funny, witty little girl and laughs at things she shouldn’t because I   thought they were above her level. She is the most caring and giving child and today I got to spend the evening with her and my son. Just looking at her melts my  heart. I know the teenage years are coming but for today it was a beautiful day to spend with a beautiful little lady.

I m a man who gives tons of compliments. I think it’s so important to tell people the honest truth about themselves. We are really good at telling people the bad but hardly the good. There is a difference though in flattery and compliments. They say flattery gets you know where but believe me you give something a tad bit of flattery and you can get a lot of things you want but it’s usually not good.

My definition is flattery your trying to get something and a compliment your trying to give something. Dictionary.com says

Flattery is:excessive or insincere praise and a compliment  is:
a formal act or expression of civility, respect, or regard I use to give flattery typically to get something sexual or get someone to do something for me. People do catch on to flattery and people with say that guy is full of crap or he always just wants something. Pay a compliment and it can stay with someone forever. Remember the way it made you feel.

Flattery you kiss a lot of a%& and some people want to hear it but shallow they are. A complement people want to hear and sometimes need to. Giving sincere compliments is a powerful tool for creating and building relationships. Flattery destroys them. Praise rightfully earned helps develop the self-esteem of those we care about. Insincere flattery (which may be an oxymoron since flattery is by definition insincere) makes us feel less worthwhile, makes us feel hurt and used and less trusting of the flatterer. The flattery may for a short time make one feel good but ultimately it will make that same person feel empty and used. The Bible is full of verses warning against falling into the trap of either giving or receiving flattery.

With that your all so beautiful !! lol

 





Day 26 Surprise or not

27 01 2013

I went from not knowing what to do to have a packed weekend. My buddy Scott had an interview and had to stay in Austin. Friday night I went to a relationship class called Understanding men. It was a coed class and I learned a ton. The one thing I think that women have no idea about men is that we are very fragile. We are built to be strong and we are but your words can crush us or make us feel like were on cloud nine. A compliment for a man can go on for three months if you tell him your proud of him and see if he doesn’t change. It’s not about who does it first or who continues it but you will see a change.  There is about this between men and women called  Love and Respect by Eggerichs. If a man knows you respect him he will do anything for you but let him believe you don’t and he stops dead in his tracks. He may not even know it. I encourage married couples, single, new relationship to try a class. If you’re doing everything correct you’ll know for sure but if not we can always learn something.

I get a call from my daughter at 11:10 Friday night and she’s crying. I was panicked and she said ” Mommy is getting married”.  (Surprise or not I knew this was coming)I gathered myself and told her that we had already discussed this and as long has mommy was happy that we have to be happy. This will never be the place to discuss this topic but it is difficult on my daughter which then becomes my problem too. Good luck to us all!!

I spent yesterday morning working and then spent the afternoon at Ambit energy simulcast. It is one amazing company that is the 7th fastest growing company ever. The ethics and morals of the company will take it to the best ever and I am so glad to be a part of it. After the event we had a team dinner and I was motivated and the excuses were killed by the leaders. It’s always good to be in a room of can do and not I can’t. I went to Winstar after that and enjoyed the tables and slots for a bit and actually did okay.

Finally I’m a retired Rugby player. My body has had enough and finally I’m smart enough to listen to my body. I went back to Rugby for the wrong reasons. 1. I was lonely and wanted to be with a group of guys that I at least had something in common with. 2nd I felt like I had to prove something to myself after the way I left the field injured. I did all the proving I need to that in 8 months I walked back out there after a severe broken leg. I’m finally maturing so now I will use my skills to help run the club from a board perspective.

Keep reading I’m going to talk about that I believe can change lives. Every chapter is only three pages and so freaking powerful.

 








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