Day 1566 Why didn’t you just ask

8 06 2017

Hello world: On Tuesday of this week I approved my book and it went to the printer. it took me 2.5 years to decided I was worth writing a book and anyone would read it. Yes Im excited but having it my hands will feel amazing. You better buy a copy pretty please.

Why? One of the most thought-provoking questions we can ask? On the other end is the answer. Sometimes its good and sometimes it’s not. So why do we stop asking Why as an adult. A few reasons I believe: We don’t care, the answer is going to hurt, we think we already know the answer. Little kids ask why all the time yes we get tired of hearing why and finally because we said so. That doesn’t stop them though.  Brian Dodge was a speaker I heard once and he said as an adult when we stop asking why our learning is over. How scary is that? So then we go to the famous art of assuming. Every time I assumed I was wrong. Do you remember the last time someone said Why didn’t you just ask me? You say I don’t know and walk away like why didn’t I just ask?

I’ll agree that when you ask sometimes the answer is awful. I asked my ex-wife when it was over do you love me anymore. She said no. My heart dropped to me knees I felt sick but I knew I needed to hear it. In college I asked a girl who was out of my league that I flirted with forever why wouldn’t you go out with me. She looked me in the eye and said I will you just have to ask me.

Why is  gathering wisdom, understanding, caring and respect. So the next time you don’t ask why just remember this is what you’re missing out on:

Showing someone you care, asking why is letting them you took time out for them their special, To eliminate confusion, To demonstrate humility to another, To enable a person to discover answers for themselves, To gain empathy through better understanding another’s view, To begin a relationship, To strengthen a relationship, To gain a person’s attention, To solve a problem.

Why you don’t ask these things are also possible: To find a culprit, To embarrass and shame, To appear superior, to create fear, To manipulate, To play the victim, as in, “Why is this happening to me?

Every time I don’t ask why I miss out on something. If you know me I ask a lot of questions not because I’m nosy but I care. I want to know you, I want to know what makes you tick, you’re special but I don’t know why until I know you. Its called conversation which I know is a dying art, but my best relationships are the ones where I know why and Im talking the dirty why too.

Why ask why. We need to know, someone needs to know you care. Love is asking why. Sometimes you don’t want to the but you might be pleasantly surprised what the answer really is.





Day 828 Money wont buy your soul

3 05 2015

I had an awesome with weekend with my family. We saw the new Avengers movie, had my son’s baseball game, and the went to Mayfest in Fort Worth. Today we took my mom and sister to the horse races. We did a great job of having fun and getting along. Two points for my family. This week I will also be the father to a teenager. God help us all 🙂

Money can’t live with it and can’t live without it. It brings our the best and worst in every person and including me. I know I will get some disagreement about this but it’s the trust item I know to speak on. My the standard of the people growing up we were poor but taken care. We never had extra but we had what he needed. My parents worked their butts off like so many people’s parents and things worked out great and sometimes they didn’t. Once my father became disabled we learned what poor was. Life was taken from us and we had to  learn how to go without but still our needs were met. It’s just sometimes the needs were pushed out. I knew poor and I saw my mom and dad to go without so my sister and I didn’t go with out. I could tell you so many stories about money and what we weren’t able to do but I wont. I knew how to work hard because my parents were amazing examples but I swore I would never be poor. The journey for money was one of the biggest reasons for Rock bottom. I used greed, pride, ego and any other means so YOU would think I had money. I never had enough of it. I knew what it was like not to have any. So we drove the best, had the best and when we bought we usually bought two of everything so I never felt I was doing without. The money thing I never brought  God into my money because God didn’t understand currency and why I did what I did with my money. We even tithed to church but because I thought it would give us more. Damn was I wrong about money.

Chasing the almighty dollar brought me to my knees, literally and almost ended my life. Men are about being providers and we lose the fact that doesn’t mean piles of money and stuff. It means time and love. We work so hard to reach for something that we think because we can buy it for her or our kids that shows love and time. People and family want our time and soul. MONEY WILL NEVER BUY YOUR SOUL BUT IT WILL TAKE IT FROM YOU. I know to guys right now that are about to go bankrupt and they are filthy rich in stuff which is about to be taken and they have no idea who they are. I have met some amazing people on this journey that have lost it all, have it all but they lost  their family which is our soul. Men compare one another based on car, house, trophy wife, stuff they can donate to their kids sports team, vacation, and paying for weddings and college. What we see is what they want us to see but inside they are broken, an addict, full of rage, lost and downright hopeless. I will agree having money can buy you some freedom but it doesn’t buy happiness. I tried it and I talk to men who have money and when they get real they ALL say they would give it all up to have a sense of peace.

I’ve been reading Soul Keeping by John Ortenberg. Its one of the truest depictions of our soul and how we are driven by materialism and consumerism and try to buy our happiness. What that has caused us is to neglect the eternal and most important part of ourselves and the consequences from that.IF anyone ever tells you money will make it all better. Thats a lie from the pits of hell. MONEY cannot repair a destroyed heart and soul. You can mask it but only a close, deep down, being real with God and society can you mend that soul. This blog won’t change anyone’s thinking. If you know me you know my struggles with money and my thoughts on it. 39 years of thoughts on money are hard to change in a day. What I can tell you from experience that keep trying to find fulfillment, joy and love through money and you may be reaching out me to ask how did you build your life back after your lost everything and destroyed your soul. I’ll be the first one here to help pick you up but I want to keep you from going down that path.

When my dad died if you know my story I was embarrassed of him and the things we didn’t have. Every person that spoke of him just talked about how great of a man he was, and what he did for others. Not one time did people talk about his lack of money or stuff. It opened my eyes but not enough. Today I remember almost once a week  one of his closest friends said to me. He looked at me and I think he was thinking about his immortality and said: Inside that coffin is a great man and none of this earthly crap is in their with him. Remember that Tyler he had the greatest thing any man could ask for was family intact. I didn’t listen to him and I lost my family but Im learning and Im trying to teach you that money can never buy your soul.





Day 780 Sing loud and out of key

16 03 2015

My babies are in Disney this week with their mom. Its my week to have them so needless to say I miss them but they’re  having a blast.  Getting pictures of them  is bitter-sweet because I would love to be making the memories with them but this is where in divorce you put down your crap and remember who it’s for.

When I started writing this blog 2.6 years ago I shared some intimate stuff but you the reader still only got 15% of the experience. I meet people all the time either past friends or new people who say hey I read you blog and I know you must have a hard time dealing with this or your really good at that. I always laugh either way because you don’t know me. I have so much more to me that I don’t put on here because I either I can’t, I don’t understand or really its none of your business. We always think we know so much about people based on looks, what they post on Facebook, when we see them at church etc… Bottom-line until you are living life with them you have no clue. Your free to judge but when you step in a bear trap remember it hurts. Most of the time when you assume you wind up with a hand full of crap. That’s just a friendly reminder to worry about your life because I assume you have enough to handle!! 🙂

I have many diverse group sets of friends. High school,college, fraternity, my low down, Rugby college and mens league, men’s group, church, and Rock bottom, each group has got me through different aspects of my life or getting me through. Each has seen me but very few know  and I always liked it that way. Now that I’m getting in a different place in my life Im getting people who are like me. If you know me I really want you to like me and if you don’t I feel bad for about 5 minutes. I don’t purposely go about trying to piss you off or do things that you would think wow what a big jerk. Because I live my life the way I do I truly don’t care what you think of me or my decisions. No matter what I do you will judge and have an opinion. If I owe you an apology I’m the first to say I’m sorry and the last to hold a grudge. What I love about me is the people I roll with now. Doing a pub crawl Saturday one of the people in the group that I know fairly well said you just don’t give a crap do you. I said excuse me. He said you care but you don’t give a crap about the stuff. I said I try not to He said I bet you’re the type that sings out  loud and out of key. I said I always do but it think I sound great. He said that’s what I like about you. Your always honest and O appreciate that. For me Im trying to live that way but I’m also surrounding myself with the same people. Life is better that way. We are all Christians and they don’t judge me and I give them plenty of reasons. I’m that guy that says and still does those things that people shake their head about but they know my heart and what I’m trying to do. In turn when you roll with people who believe and trust in you, you do the same for them. When the walls are down the view is amazing. I truly believe if Jesus walked the earth today we would hang because he knows I’m a  mess but he knows that when he needs to laugh or that somebody has his back I’m the first one there. I’m not sure my group of friends would sell any records for how we sing loud and out of key but if you want to be entertained and follow some genuine people that is us. In your life you need people who make you better and won’t tell you what you need to hear but what you have to hear. Find your band that sings loud and out of key and let nothing come between you.

 





Day 470 What these eyes have seen Part 2

15 05 2014

I have a request for you my followers and readers. Would you please like and comment on this blog posts for me. I’m keeping stats to show someone and the likes and comments help me justify what I’m trying to show.

One of the hardest days in a long time happened yesterday. The great thing about having a friend that will speak truth to you is that you see things that you ignored or just didn’t know. I have carried for probably 25 years and just thought it was normal. I was somewhat called out by my friend and also encouraged. After I hung up I pulled over and cried. I asked God to relieve this burden I had been carrying all by myself. I had a better day today. I saw things a tad bit different as well.

I got a few questions about why Im writing this blog. Mostly you get to know me but also where my inspiration comes from. It helps others know that no matter what they have done they are not alone and there is someone there with them if they choose to accept the feelings.

I realized in high school that if you’re an athlete and hurt that nobody cares until you can help them again. I know what its like to watch the last assets your parents have been taken away. I learned about being isolated and where your mind can go if you allow it. I was never so happy to get a phone a call that saved my life because I was ready to take it. That when a girl in high school tells you she loves you that you can go weeks on that feeling. The overwhelming joy of Padre Island and the guilt you can leave with from there. When you need money you will do just about anything to make sure you can eat. That high school graduation is really the last time you will see the people you grew up with. That pulling a trigger never solves anything. That the things you learn in high school about sex don’t translate to your marriage.

If you treat people right and go out of your way people will go out of their way for you. College was fun and that I lived a full throttle life. There are certain places in Austin you shouldn’t go. Having people fear you is not a way to live life. People do die from taking drugs. Holding a friend in your arms watching him take his last breath never leaves your thoughts. The people you hate or dislike could one day become your best friends. If you quit once you will quit again. First real loves will always stay with you.  Just try it you may not like it but you will have a story. Being drunk 38 days in a row will flunk you out of school. What happens at Rugby parties should stay at Rugby parties. My fraternity was awesome and we had a fun that can’t be explained.  A 3 second decision will change your life. Just kiss her what do you have to lose. You will finally appreciate your parents. Never forget about the little guy. The comal River in New Braufuls is cold and will cause you to swallow your dip and never dip again.  Drinking a bottle and a half of Jim Beam will cause  you not  to remember your last fraternity formal and you will lose your girlfriend. Open the door for a woman every time. Skip class and go fishing it s a story you will never forget. Just ask her out she may say yes. Being only the second college graduate in your entire family is an awesome feeling. Be thankful that your dad was able to muster the strength to sit through your graduation because he promised you he would. When you get your first offer letter for a job where your making more money than you can count don’t spend it before you start your job.

One more part and I will be done. Thanks for always reading.





Day 470 What these eyes have seen Part 2

14 05 2014

I have a request for you my followers and readers. Would you please like and comment on this blog posts for me. I’m keeping stats to show someone and the likes and comments help me justify what I’m trying to show.

One of the hardest days in a long time happened yesterday. The great thing about having a friend that will speak truth to you is that you see things that you ignored or just didn’t know. I have carried for probably 25 years and just thought it was normal. I was somewhat called out by my friend and also encouraged. After I hung up I pulled over and cried. I asked God to relieve this burden I had been carrying all by myself. I had a better day today. I saw things a tad bit different as well.

I got a few questions about why Im writing this blog. Mostly you get to know me but also where my inspiration comes from. It helps others know that no matter what they have done they are not alone and there is someone there with them if they choose to accept the feelings.

I realized in high school that if you’re an athlete and hurt that nobody cares until you can help them again. I know what its like to watch the last assets your parents have been taken away. I learned about being isolated and where your mind can go if you allow it. I was never so happy to get a phone a call that saved my life because I was ready to take it. That when a girl in high school tells you she loves you that you can go weeks on that feeling. The overwhelming joy of Padre Island and the guilt you can leave with from there. When you need money you will do just about anything to make sure you can eat. That high school graduation is really the last time you will see the people you grew up with. That pulling a trigger never solves anything. That the things you learn in high school about sex don’t translate to your marriage.

If you treat people right and go out of your way people will go out of their way for you. College was fun and that I lived a full throttle life. There are certain places in Austin you shouldn’t go. Having people fear you is not a way to live life. People do die from taking drugs. Holding a friend in your arms watching him take his last breath never leaves your thoughts. The people you hate or dislike could one day become your best friends. If you quit once you will quit again. First real loves will always stay with you.  Just try it you may not like it but you will have a story. Being drunk 38 days in a row will flunk you out of school. What happens at Rugby parties should stay at Rugby parties. My fraternity was awesome and we had a fun that can’t be explained.  A 3 second decision will change your life. Just kiss her what do you have to lose. You will finally appreciate your parents. Never forget about the little guy. The comal River in New Braufuls is cold and will cause you to swallow your dip and never dip again.  Drinking a bottle and a half of Jim Beam will cause  you not  to remember your last fraternity formal and you will lose your girlfriend. Open the door for a woman every time. Skip class and go fishing it s a story you will never forget. Just ask her out she may say yes. Being only the second college graduate in your entire family is an awesome feeling. Be thankful that your dad was able to muster the strength to sit through your graduation because he promised you he would. When you get your first offer letter for a job where your making more money than you can count don’t spend it before you start your job.

One more part and I will be done. Thanks for always reading.





Day 444 I want to tell you a story about someone

31 03 2014

Denton Rugby acted like the Dallas Cowboys and when it mattered we got our butts kicked 37-0. We were already in the playoffs and acted like we won something. I think we learned a valuable lesson and we get to see the same team again in May in the state playoffs.  If you have kids you know there are sometimes you just shrug your shoulders. I wonder how people who have two girls do it as parents. Girls are so easy when their little and then Jr. high hits and all hell breaks loose. Girls are mean too. Boys we punch each other and then were good for a month or two.

I heard this quote last night and I’m not sure who I head it from but man it makes you think: “The biggest lie we tell ourselves is that we will have more time.” We all know it’s not true but when were laying there taking our last breathes all we do is talk about the things we should have done.

I want to tell you a story about someone I know: I ve known this fella for a long time, and he was hard nut to crack but he’s finally getting it. I remember him best from high school so that’s where I’ll start.  This guy was someone who had two personalities  and not many knew one side of his personality. People thought he was always friendly, smiling, hard worker and was an example of what to be for other kids growing up, he was a spiritual leader not only for his family but for other students he was also a fan with the women but just to be friends with like a big a brother. and did a lot for others. Which he did. What others didn’t know is that he hurt, he was rejected a lot, made fun of, poor, challenged God whenever he got the chance, would fight and enjoyed watching the blood pour from another persons body. He loved women and would search for anyone who would accept him. He lacked self-confidence but even though he stood alone as a leader was fearful people would see through him and maybe even reach out to him to help, but he was too proud. He had multiple operations before he left school which took away is only real ticket out of the mess he grew up in and now there was nothing to separate him everybody else. He was just a normal guy and that was crippling for him. He wanted to move far away after high school but he could only make his way to West Texas. All that did was get him further from his past  he thought but just made it lonely and more confusing on why his life turned in the direction it did. He thought the best way for people to like him was to fear him. His first semester of college he got beat up so bad it took 5 weeks to heal, when he did he got revenge so and that when the fight was over he pulled the urinal off the wall and beat the three guys with it and pissed on them when it was done just so they wouldn’t forget him. He would sit in the stands at night and pray for a women who would be exactly what God wanted. Yes every night!  He wouldn’t let anyone get close but he sure wanted that. He searched for friendship and love in so many of the wrong places that sometimes he found it. He left West Texas and headed back to Fort Worth to find the football life he was supposed to be. When he got to TCU he found people he didn’t fit in with, a lost passion for football mostly life. Only serious conversation he ever had with his father ended with hatred even more for his father. He also treated the people who cared for him that most like crap and asked them to leave him alone. Fast forward and he gets to UNT and joins a fraternity. This is the same guy that had never had a drink in his life but he had to fit in somewhere because he fit in nowhere. He drank and drank some more and weighed 37o lbs. Who would want that guy! One beautiful blonde did and she turned his life upside down. She did things and made him feel in ways he never had but like everybody else she left him and broke his heart into the tiniest of pieces. He loved or thought what was love and it was gone. With it came more hatred, revenge, harsh words, and pain inflected on anyone who crossed him. How he didn’t end up with a VD, in prison, or dead is beyond him. He lived this most full throttle life of anyone he knew and if you asked or dared his answer was yes.

Then in January 1998 a women walked into his life and changed his whole entire thought process. He knew 3 months into it that he was in love and would get married. He had made plans for their 30, 40 and even 80′s, but on their wedding day he knew it would never last, but said maybe it will workout. He tried to become something he wasn’t, live a life he didn’t want, and impress someone he couldn’t. He was blessed with two beautiful children that he didn’t appreciate because he didn’t appreciate anything and hated every inch of himself.  Luck would have it that again would crush him and take his dignity, family, business, friendships, marriage, and his whole being was destroyed. So much so on a Tuesday morning he planned to take his life so “others” could benefit from his life insurance and not be a burden any longer. God intervened and actually for the first time talked to him so he could here.  Since that fateful morning he has become a new man, still flawed and dead inside some days, but he his honest, fun-loving, charismatic, loves to make others laugh, would do anything for anybody, great husband material one day and an example for others to follow.

If you haven’t guessed that someone is me Tyler Wood. I was asked last night why do I blog and what do you get from it.. I blog because I have a story that has changed my life but is changing others just because I decided to open my mouth and be vulnerable. Im nobody special just a guy who almost took his life so I could  learn to help others so they won’t take theirs.

 





Day 444 I want to tell you a story about someone

31 03 2014

Denton Rugby acted like the Dallas Cowboys and when it mattered we got our butts kicked 37-0. We were already in the playoffs and acted like we won something. I think we learned a valuable lesson and we get to see the same team again in May in the state playoffs.  If you have kids you know there are sometimes you just shrug your shoulders. I wonder how people who have two girls do it as parents. Girls are so easy when their little and then Jr. high hits and all hell breaks loose. Girls are mean too. Boys we punch each other and then were good for a month or two.

I heard this quote last night and I’m not sure who I head it from but man it makes you think: “The biggest lie we tell ourselves is that we will have more time.” We all know it’s not true but when were laying there taking our last breathes all we do is talk about the things we should have done.

I want to tell you a story about someone I know: I ve known this fella for a long time, and he was hard nut to crack but he’s finally getting it. I remember him best from high school so that’s where I’ll start.  This guy was someone who had two personalities  and not many knew one side of his personality. People thought he was always friendly, smiling, hard worker and was an example of what to be for other kids growing up, he was a spiritual leader not only for his family but for other students he was also a fan with the women but just to be friends with like a big a brother. and did a lot for others. Which he did. What others didn’t know is that he hurt, he was rejected a lot, made fun of, poor, challenged God whenever he got the chance, would fight and enjoyed watching the blood pour from another persons body. He loved women and would search for anyone who would accept him. He lacked self-confidence but even though he stood alone as a leader was fearful people would see through him and maybe even reach out to him to help, but he was too proud. He had multiple operations before he left school which took away is only real ticket out of the mess he grew up in and now there was nothing to separate him everybody else. He was just a normal guy and that was crippling for him. He wanted to move far away after high school but he could only make his way to West Texas. All that did was get him further from his past  he thought but just made it lonely and more confusing on why his life turned in the direction it did. He thought the best way for people to like him was to fear him. His first semester of college he got beat up so bad it took 5 weeks to heal, when he did he got revenge so and that when the fight was over he pulled the urinal off the wall and beat the three guys with it and pissed on them when it was done just so they wouldn’t forget him. He would sit in the stands at night and pray for a women who would be exactly what God wanted. Yes every night!  He wouldn’t let anyone get close but he sure wanted that. He searched for friendship and love in so many of the wrong places that sometimes he found it. He left West Texas and headed back to Fort Worth to find the football life he was supposed to be. When he got to TCU he found people he didn’t fit in with, a lost passion for football mostly life. Only serious conversation he ever had with his father ended with hatred even more for his father. He also treated the people who cared for him that most like crap and asked them to leave him alone. Fast forward and he gets to UNT and joins a fraternity. This is the same guy that had never had a drink in his life but he had to fit in somewhere because he fit in nowhere. He drank and drank some more and weighed 37o lbs. Who would want that guy! One beautiful blonde did and she turned his life upside down. She did things and made him feel in ways he never had but like everybody else she left him and broke his heart into the tiniest of pieces. He loved or thought what was love and it was gone. With it came more hatred, revenge, harsh words, and pain inflected on anyone who crossed him. How he didn’t end up with a VD, in prison, or dead is beyond him. He lived this most full throttle life of anyone he knew and if you asked or dared his answer was yes.

Then in January 1998 a women walked into his life and changed his whole entire thought process. He knew 3 months into it that he was in love and would get married. He had made plans for their 30, 40 and even 80′s, but on their wedding day he knew it would never last, but said maybe it will workout. He tried to become something he wasn’t, live a life he didn’t want, and impress someone he couldn’t. He was blessed with two beautiful children that he didn’t appreciate because he didn’t appreciate anything and hated every inch of himself.  Luck would have it that again would crush him and take his dignity, family, business, friendships, marriage, and his whole being was destroyed. So much so on a Tuesday morning he planned to take his life so “others” could benefit from his life insurance and not be a burden any longer. God intervened and actually for the first time talked to him so he could here.  Since that fateful morning he has become a new man, still flawed and dead inside some days, but he his honest, fun-loving, charismatic, loves to make others laugh, would do anything for anybody, great husband material one day and an example for others to follow.

If you haven’t guessed that someone is me Tyler Wood. I was asked last night why do I blog and what do you get from it.. I blog because I have a story that has changed my life but is changing others just because I decided to open my mouth and be vulnerable. Im nobody special just a guy who almost took his life so I could  learn to help others so they won’t take theirs.

 








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