Day 772 Why would you ever treat me that way

9 03 2015

I had a great weekend. I got to gamble a bit , I got to relax Saturday night which is a rarity and last night I got to see one of my favorite Comedians Jo Koy. I haven’t laughed so hard for a prolonged period in my life. He just let the show come to him and used the audience. He also went 35 minutes longer than he should have. It’s so true that laughing really does make you feel better.

One of my points to push me over the edge is cheating. If you want to see me angry then lets walk down that road together. Bottom-line: It is NEVER okay. I don’t care how you grew up, if your parents did it, if it was done to you, or you just can’t  deal with life or people, and you feel your just going to do it. It always starts, well Im not attracted to you anymore, I don’t love you anymore, you just don’t get me. The problem  with cheaters is that nothing will make them happy. Until they realize that they deserve love, willing to be loved and stop blaming everyone else for their problems they will stay that way. PEOPLE DO NOT MAKE OTHER PEOPLE HAPPY. NEVER EVER! they can enhance your life but you’re the only person in charge of your joy or happiness. When you start thinking that the flawed,broken, scared person you are with is going to not let you down, or make mistakes. Then when they do you decide well here’s another person always not loving me or letting me down.

I will be the first to say I have never cheated on anyone. I could never imagine going behind someones back destroying trust, loyalty, faith and love because I was such a miserable sack of crap that I couldn’t be honest and tell the person that I lost my feelings for you and we need to end it. I have never heard one person say. I’m so glad I cheated because when I had to look that person in the eye and tell them what I did it was so much easier telling them after the fact than before I did it. I understand pain! Physical mental and emotional pain. I have absorbed it all and dealt more of it out so I understand why people do dumb dumb crap.

I saw this twice this weekend. One person said to me please don’t judge me. Judge you no but you’re an asshole and what does it solve. Even it was happening on the other side two wrongs never made a right. Here’s what I always find the funniest. Do you actually think the cheater isn’t going to cheat on you one day. One you start its easy to keep going. Do you really believe that in the midst of a relationship and when it gets real that your so special that your worth not cheating on. If so I have the winning lottery numbers you can buy from me. You mask it, say the right thing etc.. People cheat because they can’t stand themselves. Sure you made mistakes but the cheater is miserable and they throw it on everyone because it’s what they know. If a cheater gets cheated on they are absolutely floored and astonished like how could this happen to me.

I wish I could solve this problem. I have two good friends going through this. It breaks my heart because the pain is horrible. No matter what you blame yourself and no matter you never get away with it. All I can ask if this: If your cheating stop right now and ask God to save your sorry butt, pray like you never have. Then go get help for your problems not your partners problem because all you can change is you. Finally if your about to pull those pants down pull them up, go to your partner and tell them I have lost feelings for you and I’m not interested in making it better between us but before I do something stupid we need to divorce. breakup etc.. That will hurt but not nearly has bad as a bold face lie and slap in the face. The scars that cheaters create run deep but they affect everyone around you especially. you think its hard to tell your spouse after the fact wait until you have to look your kids in the eye and tell them what a piece of crap you are. God always forgives, people not so much. Zip your pants and tighten your belt please.





Day 772 Why would you ever treat me that way

9 03 2015

I had a great weekend. I got to gamble a bit , I got to relax Saturday night which is a rarity and last night I got to see one of my favorite Comedians Jo Koy. I haven’t laughed so hard for a prolonged period in my life. He just let the show come to him and used the audience. He also went 35 minutes longer than he should have. It’s so true that laughing really does make you feel better.

One of my points to push me over the edge is cheating. If you want to see me angry then lets walk down that road together. Bottom-line: It is NEVER okay. I don’t care how you grew up, if your parents did it, if it was done to you, or you just can’t  deal with life or people, and you feel your just going to do it. It always starts, well Im not attracted to you anymore, I don’t love you anymore, you just don’t get me. The problem  with cheaters is that nothing will make them happy. Until they realize that they deserve love, willing to be loved and stop blaming everyone else for their problems they will stay that way. PEOPLE DO NOT MAKE OTHER PEOPLE HAPPY. NEVER EVER! they can enhance your life but you’re the only person in charge of your joy or happiness. When you start thinking that the flawed,broken, scared person you are with is going to not let you down, or make mistakes. Then when they do you decide well here’s another person always not loving me or letting me down.

I will be the first to say I have never cheated on anyone. I could never imagine going behind someones back destroying trust, loyalty, faith and love because I was such a miserable sack of crap that I couldn’t be honest and tell the person that I lost my feelings for you and we need to end it. I have never heard one person say. I’m so glad I cheated because when I had to look that person in the eye and tell them what I did it was so much easier telling them after the fact than before I did it. I understand pain! Physical mental and emotional pain. I have absorbed it all and dealt more of it out so I understand why people do dumb dumb crap.

I saw this twice this weekend. One person said to me please don’t judge me. Judge you no but you’re an asshole and what does it solve. Even it was happening on the other side two wrongs never made a right. Here’s what I always find the funniest. Do you actually think the cheater isn’t going to cheat on you one day. One you start its easy to keep going. Do you really believe that in the midst of a relationship and when it gets real that your so special that your worth not cheating on. If so I have the winning lottery numbers you can buy from me. You mask it, say the right thing etc.. People cheat because they can’t stand themselves. Sure you made mistakes but the cheater is miserable and they throw it on everyone because it’s what they know. If a cheater gets cheated on they are absolutely floored and astonished like how could this happen to me.

I wish I could solve this problem. I have two good friends going through this. It breaks my heart because the pain is horrible. No matter what you blame yourself and no matter you never get away with it. All I can ask if this: If your cheating stop right now and ask God to save your sorry butt, pray like you never have. Then go get help for your problems not your partners problem because all you can change is you. Finally if your about to pull those pants down pull them up, go to your partner and tell them I have lost feelings for you and I’m not interested in making it better between us but before I do something stupid we need to divorce. breakup etc.. That will hurt but not nearly has bad as a bold face lie and slap in the face. The scars that cheaters create run deep but they affect everyone around you especially. you think its hard to tell your spouse after the fact wait until you have to look your kids in the eye and tell them what a piece of crap you are. God always forgives, people not so much. Zip your pants and tighten your belt please.





Day 613 STOP CHEATING NOW

30 09 2014

After always trying to make people laugh I will try again. What kind of roads do ghosts hunt? Dead Ends. Thats funny I don’t care who you are. Are you aware that tomorrow is the greatest month on the calendar. You know why because my mom and I were born in October. I know you understand now.

Besides the death of significant other there is nothing more painful than cheating. I would argue that cheating is worse because there is never an end to the thoughts of why. The pain runs deep and you can never say anything that makes it better. You fall in love with who you think will be your everything, you will be together forever, and you never think that this person that stood with you and said they wanted to be with you forever can just leave you and not really have an other emotion or word than I’m sorry!

There is nothing you can say or do to fix it. Whats done is done. There is not any way you can explain it away. You can’t tell your kids when there older this is why I did it. Your reasons suck because it’s this simple. I don’t love you anymore and if we stay together I don’t trust myself to not do something stupid. Why do people think that if I never say anything I will get away with it. You will get caught and after you get caught the damage is so much worse than just standing up and being real at the beginning. If you have been cheated on you know the pain and if you were the cheater then you have no idea what you have done to the other person and kids if you have them. I have heard but I did itt because blah blah this and blah blah that. My questions to them was if they did and said that to you would you except that. Nobody has ever said yes that acceptable.

I want you to forgive the cheater and make it work, but I understand that many times that’s a fairy tail. The guilt, the I don’t give a shit, or just the pain of someones past, keeps them from making it better. This is a hot button for me because three people dumped on me yesterday. One who was cheated on, two that did the cheating. The two that did the cheating asked me in June and July to help them, give them advice. I did and I said if you get alone with this person you will fall. So yesterday both of them came to me and said I messed up bad. How do I fix it. One of them a lady asked me to come sit with her when she tells her husband. I almost laughed that she would drag me into it. I understand the other person is at fault for not fulfilling your needs and is flawed but THERE IS NEVER A REASON TO CHEAT.

The grass is greener on the other side of the fence is the dumbest thing ever said. If you would stop looking over there and water your own grass its pretty damn green on your side too. See what the cheater doesn’t understand while your cheating is the following: The other person that is “so great” is flawed, your only seeing their best side, you don’t know how loud they snore, their nasty habits, why their cheating with you, their anger, their past, family. All you get is the lies and the stories they want you to hear. the divorce rate for second marriage is 87% good lord wake up and realize that it’s just not worth it.  I know their there are many reason to divorce but to cheat never. You’re a coward and its all comes back and bites you in the ass later so your playing roulette and you will lose.

If you’re seeing that person at work,  gym, church (yes church), starbucks and you start having that person telling you what you want to hear and you’re doing the same to them. get up and cut it off now. If you are cheating STOP NOW! Go fess up and deal with the broken crashed life that is coming but do it because remember you used to love that person and release both of you from  your hell. Or fess up and get on your knees and beg for forgiveness and get yourself some help and pray to God that the person takes your sorry butt back. I have seen relationships heal. It can and will happen but only by Gods grace. Rant is over !!!!





Day 613 STOP CHEATING NOW

30 09 2014

After always trying to make people laugh I will try again. What kind of roads do ghosts hunt? Dead Ends. Thats funny I don’t care who you are. Are you aware that tomorrow is the greatest month on the calendar. You know why because my mom and I were born in October. I know you understand now.

Besides the death of significant other there is nothing more painful than cheating. I would argue that cheating is worse because there is never an end to the thoughts of why. The pain runs deep and you can never say anything that makes it better. You fall in love with who you think will be your everything, you will be together forever, and you never think that this person that stood with you and said they wanted to be with you forever can just leave you and not really have an other emotion or word than I’m sorry!

There is nothing you can say or do to fix it. Whats done is done. There is not any way you can explain it away. You can’t tell your kids when there older this is why I did it. Your reasons suck because it’s this simple. I don’t love you anymore and if we stay together I don’t trust myself to not do something stupid. Why do people think that if I never say anything I will get away with it. You will get caught and after you get caught the damage is so much worse than just standing up and being real at the beginning. If you have been cheated on you know the pain and if you were the cheater then you have no idea what you have done to the other person and kids if you have them. I have heard but I did itt because blah blah this and blah blah that. My questions to them was if they did and said that to you would you except that. Nobody has ever said yes that acceptable.

I want you to forgive the cheater and make it work, but I understand that many times that’s a fairy tail. The guilt, the I don’t give a shit, or just the pain of someones past, keeps them from making it better. This is a hot button for me because three people dumped on me yesterday. One who was cheated on, two that did the cheating. The two that did the cheating asked me in June and July to help them, give them advice. I did and I said if you get alone with this person you will fall. So yesterday both of them came to me and said I messed up bad. How do I fix it. One of them a lady asked me to come sit with her when she tells her husband. I almost laughed that she would drag me into it. I understand the other person is at fault for not fulfilling your needs and is flawed but THERE IS NEVER A REASON TO CHEAT.

The grass is greener on the other side of the fence is the dumbest thing ever said. If you would stop looking over there and water your own grass its pretty damn green on your side too. See what the cheater doesn’t understand while your cheating is the following: The other person that is “so great” is flawed, your only seeing their best side, you don’t know how loud they snore, their nasty habits, why their cheating with you, their anger, their past, family. All you get is the lies and the stories they want you to hear. the divorce rate for second marriage is 87% good lord wake up and realize that it’s just not worth it.  I know their there are many reason to divorce but to cheat never. You’re a coward and its all comes back and bites you in the ass later so your playing roulette and you will lose.

If you’re seeing that person at work,  gym, church (yes church), starbucks and you start having that person telling you what you want to hear and you’re doing the same to them. get up and cut it off now. If you are cheating STOP NOW! Go fess up and deal with the broken crashed life that is coming but do it because remember you used to love that person and release both of you from  your hell. Or fess up and get on your knees and beg for forgiveness and get yourself some help and pray to God that the person takes your sorry butt back. I have seen relationships heal. It can and will happen but only by Gods grace. Rant is over !!!!

 





Day 326 I want that cheating feeling

2 12 2013

This is a great time of year. We just gave thanks and now we get to give! I had my babies for the entire week of  thanksgiving. It seemed to go by so fast but I truly cherish things more than “before”. Football results were good for my teams as well! My Cowboys are on the verge of the playoffs which makes me so happy.  I also got to go black Friday shopping with my daughter. Its somethings he really wanted to do and I hadn’t been yet so it was great! People are rude but the deals are good for at least a 1 time of going! My daughter had the line of the week when she said if this doesn’t get you a girlfriend you better throw in the towel! The truths of a child!

Please hear me out after reading the title of this blog! I have never cheated and I hope that I would never do it in the future. If I said I never would them it would probably happen. I spoke to a guy and I actually understood his feeling.  Since I started this journey I have gotten a different perspective on life good and bad and I’m trying to take that to help other people. Mostly men but anyone who truly wants a different way of doing things. Two Fridays ago I had a guy call me that was refereed. The lady that refereed him said he’s at rock bottom and needs someone to listen and possibly some words of encouragement. He called and said I don’t know where to start so me being who I am asked him : Tell me why you cheated on your wife? He said can I tell you some other things first then about cheating. Anything to get him started in conversation. He told me about some addictions , work, past family etc.. I listened asked a few question then listened some more. It lasted about 30 minutes then he told me about the cheating!

He said he had been madly in love with his wife and then “life” started happening. They grew apart and just stopped listening to each other even though both of them would tell each other what was wrong and what they needed. I’m not finding blame here I’m trying to tell how I understand! He said like every cheating story goes: She started to ask about how I was doing, she was someone who would listen. In my head I was like blah, blah. Then he said something I could understand. I just wanted someone to love me for me, I didn’t want to have to perform, I wanted someone to think I was funny and good-looking. She was honest with me but didn’t make me feel like an idiot, She never belittled me. She loved me in the definition of what love should be but it was wrong. He said I know now after my wife found out, that I lost both of them. In a sick way I never had that with my wife, we were in dumb love and I wouldn’t take that feeling back because I never had it. So we talked some more and I told him I would like to meet him after the holidays.

I thought about what he said probably 100 times that he wouldn’t take that feeling back! Here’s where I can relate. The last 4 years of my marriage were a joke! I think I have been very fair talking about my failures as a husband. That cheating that this guy spoke to me about I wanted so bad and even today. I know he got his through false pretense but here is what I want to.  Even if it was for a short-lived time, for the person I’m with to think I’m the best thing ever, (with all of my faults), that I don’t have to perform, she thinks Im funny, and good-looking, she was always honest with me and me with her but she never belittled me. I struggle enough with my own crap I don’t need the one I love to keep dumping on my pile! I think that you find that in someone older that has already been there and done that. I know what a man is supposed to and will write about that more too, but why do people have to find that short-lived, passion and love in cheating. Why can’t two people who fell in love continue fanning the flames, rather than flaming out. It’s sad that I would take 1 day of that cheating feeling just so I know its real! When your best friend is  truly your best friend maybe you find it but I’m not sure! I’m not saying it’s not out there I just know that I crave what the guy told me and it seems I only here about it when people cheat.

I know this will probably being taken out of context and I would never advocate cheating or have I but man would I love to be loved that way just one time!

 





Day 326 I want that cheating feeling

1 12 2013

This is a great time of year. We just gave thanks and now we get to give! I had my babies for the entire week of  thanksgiving. It seemed to go by so fast but I truly cherish things more than “before”. Football results were good for my teams as well! My Cowboys are on the verge of the playoffs which makes me so happy.  I also got to go black Friday shopping with my daughter. Its somethings he really wanted to do and I hadn’t been yet so it was great! People are rude but the deals are good for at least a 1 time of going! My daughter had the line of the week when she said if this doesn’t get you a girlfriend you better throw in the towel! The truths of a child!

Please hear me out after reading the title of this blog! I have never cheated and I hope that I would never do it in the future. If I said I never would them it would probably happen. I spoke to a guy and I actually understood his feeling.  Since I started this journey I have gotten a different perspective on life good and bad and I’m trying to take that to help other people. Mostly men but anyone who truly wants a different way of doing things. Two Fridays ago I had a guy call me that was refereed. The lady that refereed him said he’s at rock bottom and needs someone to listen and possibly some words of encouragement. He called and said I don’t know where to start so me being who I am asked him : Tell me why you cheated on your wife? He said can I tell you some other things first then about cheating. Anything to get him started in conversation. He told me about some addictions , work, past family etc.. I listened asked a few question then listened some more. It lasted about 30 minutes then he told me about the cheating!

He said he had been madly in love with his wife and then “life” started happening. They grew apart and just stopped listening to each other even though both of them would tell each other what was wrong and what they needed. I’m not finding blame here I’m trying to tell how I understand! He said like every cheating story goes: She started to ask about how I was doing, she was someone who would listen. In my head I was like blah, blah. Then he said something I could understand. I just wanted someone to love me for me, I didn’t want to have to perform, I wanted someone to think I was funny and good-looking. She was honest with me but didn’t make me feel like an idiot, She never belittled me. She loved me in the definition of what love should be but it was wrong. He said I know now after my wife found out, that I lost both of them. In a sick way I never had that with my wife, we were in dumb love and I wouldn’t take that feeling back because I never had it. So we talked some more and I told him I would like to meet him after the holidays.

I thought about what he said probably 100 times that he wouldn’t take that feeling back! Here’s where I can relate. The last 4 years of my marriage were a joke! I think I have been very fair talking about my failures as a husband. That cheating that this guy spoke to me about I wanted so bad and even today. I know he got his through false pretense but here is what I want to.  Even if it was for a short-lived time, for the person I’m with to think I’m the best thing ever, (with all of my faults), that I don’t have to perform, she thinks Im funny, and good-looking, she was always honest with me and me with her but she never belittled me. I struggle enough with my own crap I don’t need the one I love to keep dumping on my pile! I think that you find that in someone older that has already been there and done that. I know what a man is supposed to and will write about that more too, but why do people have to find that short-lived, passion and love in cheating. Why can’t two people who fell in love continue fanning the flames, rather than flaming out. It’s sad that I would take 1 day of that cheating feeling just so I know its real! When your best friend is  truly your best friend maybe you find it but I’m not sure! I’m not saying it’s not out there I just know that I crave what the guy told me and it seems I only here about it when people cheat.

I know this will probably being taken out of context and I would never advocate cheating or have I but man would I love to be loved that way just one time!

 





Day 326 I want that cheating feeling

1 12 2013

This is a great time of year. We just gave thanks and now we get to give! I had my babies for the entire week of  thanksgiving. It seemed to go by so fast but I truly cherish things more than “before”. Football results were good for my teams as well! My Cowboys are on the verge of the playoffs which makes me so happy.  I also got to go black Friday shopping with my daughter. Its somethings he really wanted to do and I hadn’t been yet so it was great! People are rude but the deals are good for at least a 1 time of going! My daughter had the line of the week when she said if this doesn’t get you a girlfriend you better throw in the towel! The truths of a child!

Please hear me out after reading the title of this blog! I have never cheated and I hope that I would never do it in the future. If I said I never would them it would probably happen. I spoke to a guy and I actually understood his feeling.  Since I started this journey I have gotten a different perspective on life good and bad and I’m trying to take that to help other people. Mostly men but anyone who truly wants a different way of doing things. Two Fridays ago I had a guy call me that was refereed. The lady that refereed him said he’s at rock bottom and needs someone to listen and possibly some words of encouragement. He called and said I don’t know where to start so me being who I am asked him : Tell me why you cheated on your wife? He said can I tell you some other things first then about cheating. Anything to get him started in conversation. He told me about some addictions , work, past family etc.. I listened asked a few question then listened some more. It lasted about 30 minutes then he told me about the cheating!

He said he had been madly in love with his wife and then “life” started happening. They grew apart and just stopped listening to each other even though both of them would tell each other what was wrong and what they needed. I’m not finding blame here I’m trying to tell how I understand! He said like every cheating story goes: She started to ask about how I was doing, she was someone who would listen. In my head I was like blah, blah. Then he said something I could understand. I just wanted someone to love me for me, I didn’t want to have to perform, I wanted someone to think I was funny and good-looking. She was honest with me but didn’t make me feel like an idiot, She never belittled me. She loved me in the definition of what love should be but it was wrong. He said I know now after my wife found out, that I lost both of them. In a sick way I never had that with my wife, we were in dumb love and I wouldn’t take that feeling back because I never had it. So we talked some more and I told him I would like to meet him after the holidays.

I thought about what he said probably 100 times that he wouldn’t take that feeling back! Here’s where I can relate. The last 4 years of my marriage were a joke! I think I have been very fair talking about my failures as a husband. That cheating that this guy spoke to me about I wanted so bad and even today. I know he got his through false pretense but here is what I want to.  Even if it was for a short-lived time, for the person I’m with to think I’m the best thing ever, (with all of my faults), that I don’t have to perform, she thinks Im funny, and good-looking, she was always honest with me and me with her but she never belittled me. I struggle enough with my own crap I don’t need the one I love to keep dumping on my pile! I think that you find that in someone older that has already been there and done that. I know what a man is supposed to and will write about that more too, but why do people have to find that short-lived, passion and love in cheating. Why can’t two people who fell in love continue fanning the flames, rather than flaming out. It’s sad that I would take 1 day of that cheating feeling just so I know its real! When your best friend is  truly your best friend maybe you find it but I’m not sure! I’m not saying it’s not out there I just know that I crave what the guy told me and it seems I only here about it when people cheat.

I know this will probably being taken out of context and I would never advocate cheating or have I but man would I love to be loved that way just one time!





Day 21 Here I go again on my own

10 09 2012

Sorry for the title that crappy 80’s song was on my mind. I need to clear the air on one topic. I know I haven’t been clear on my sexual issues. I can’t out of respect of my ex but never in my life have I cheated, not even in Jr. high. I hate adultery, cheating etc.. So I had issues but it was not that.

I start a new class tonight at Gateway church called new relationships. Its about how not to screw up your next relationship. I think we all need it. I m not going to do this again. I made my mistakes and I want to learn from them.

People want to know what I do for a living. I m a General Manager for a construction company in Dallas. I used to own my own company doing remodeling and home building. I went to work my sub contract that worked for me. I m also an Ambit Energy Consultant. I m also A highly paid blogger. Okay just a blogger. Lastly I am a want to be comedian.

I struggled on what to write tonight. I still have my life rules I m working on and I will get back to those.

So I ll get back to me and start trying to wrap up what got me to be divorced. October 2010 we went to a Remodeling conference in Kohler Wisconsin. I brought my ex and my two employees. This is where my ex and office manager started their beginning to help destroy our relationship. Thats’ a blog for another day. Just know if someone has been divorced 4 times getting their advice is not going to help you in the long run. At this conference I realized I was going to either sale the business or close it down. I had lost my spirit and hope for it. Once that happens the business is doomed to fail. If I would have listened to my ex that week and weekend I would have known she didn’t love me anymore, and she was done with me. I got a list. If you start writing a  list crap is going downhill. All I know Is I walked out of Wisconsin that weekend more lost, lonely, and hollow than any other point in my life. Worst part I had no spouse to turn to. She was done with me. I got back home and went to my fathers grave and and asked him for guidance but as usual if he told me I wasn’t listening. I told him at his graveside that i would never come back and that I was done trying to talk to him.
There was an event that happened at Thanksgiving that I can’t mention but someone came to our Thanksgiving that to this day I must have been the stupidest man alive to allow.

I m going to class. Smile and smile when you don’t want to. Pass this blog on.








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