Day 1566 Why didn’t you just ask

8 06 2017

Hello world: On Tuesday of this week I approved my book and it went to the printer. it took me 2.5 years to decided I was worth writing a book and anyone would read it. Yes Im excited but having it my hands will feel amazing. You better buy a copy pretty please.

Why? One of the most thought-provoking questions we can ask? On the other end is the answer. Sometimes its good and sometimes it’s not. So why do we stop asking Why as an adult. A few reasons I believe: We don’t care, the answer is going to hurt, we think we already know the answer. Little kids ask why all the time yes we get tired of hearing why and finally because we said so. That doesn’t stop them though.  Brian Dodge was a speaker I heard once and he said as an adult when we stop asking why our learning is over. How scary is that? So then we go to the famous art of assuming. Every time I assumed I was wrong. Do you remember the last time someone said Why didn’t you just ask me? You say I don’t know and walk away like why didn’t I just ask?

I’ll agree that when you ask sometimes the answer is awful. I asked my ex-wife when it was over do you love me anymore. She said no. My heart dropped to me knees I felt sick but I knew I needed to hear it. In college I asked a girl who was out of my league that I flirted with forever why wouldn’t you go out with me. She looked me in the eye and said I will you just have to ask me.

Why is  gathering wisdom, understanding, caring and respect. So the next time you don’t ask why just remember this is what you’re missing out on:

Showing someone you care, asking why is letting them you took time out for them their special, To eliminate confusion, To demonstrate humility to another, To enable a person to discover answers for themselves, To gain empathy through better understanding another’s view, To begin a relationship, To strengthen a relationship, To gain a person’s attention, To solve a problem.

Why you don’t ask these things are also possible: To find a culprit, To embarrass and shame, To appear superior, to create fear, To manipulate, To play the victim, as in, “Why is this happening to me?

Every time I don’t ask why I miss out on something. If you know me I ask a lot of questions not because I’m nosy but I care. I want to know you, I want to know what makes you tick, you’re special but I don’t know why until I know you. Its called conversation which I know is a dying art, but my best relationships are the ones where I know why and Im talking the dirty why too.

Why ask why. We need to know, someone needs to know you care. Love is asking why. Sometimes you don’t want to the but you might be pleasantly surprised what the answer really is.





Day 916 You can’t be mom and dad

30 07 2015

One of the many things I’ve learned since my divorce is that being a single parent maybe the hardest thing I’ve attempted to accomplish. You have your normal life of being an adult and then a parent to. At the end of the day there’s a lot more day than there is of you. You go back at the end of the day process and say I missed the boat on ABC but if you think about it you did pretty good. If your truly single and not in a relationship with the opposite sex you realize how much the other parent either male or female needs to be involved. sometimes they are but sometimes not. When there not I hear this. I have to be both mom and dad, or I guess I’m dad and mom. Nothing makes me cringe more than when I hear it. If you’re a woman you can read, every book, pray every day, but your DNA is not designed to be a man or understand as a man what your child needs. You might be cursing me or saying what an idiot but its true and that will never change. It’s not my opinion its fact. Women are caring, nurturing, loving, understanding, softer. yes  men have those characteristics and I do to but I’m not a woman. I’ve never carried a child or understand that bond nor can I ever. As a man to say that I’m all the things a woman is and I can do just as good of a job is laughable and vice versa. Men are risks takers, teach worth,  they are stern, they understand or see life in a different way, they like things most don’t, they respect differently and love totally differently. The bible lays out exactly how were different and whats expected of each.

So you want to argue with me and say you’re an idiot.If you read nothing else and understand nothing else let it be this:  If you’re a woman and tell your son your dad doesn’t matter I’m your dad, or your a dad and tell your daughter Im mom and dad what you have done is tell them that the other sex parent doesn’t matter. So what your telling them is that they being a woman or man doesn’t matter when they grow older and become a parent. I mean if one person that’s an opposite sex isn’t needed what will my role be. You take away what they were born or designed to be.  Tyler you don’t understand the other parent is absent. I do get it actually and it hurts you as a parent that the other parent just doesn’t give a damn but you are only who you are.

So what do you do. You only be the best mom or dad you can be. Don’t diminish the opposite sex parent. They will figure out eventually how the other parent is but they need to know that there are things that you can’t provide because you weren’t designed that way.  Help them find a mentor, push them to read about being a man, woman parent so they can appreciate what were doing but build who they are and what is expected of them as they become parents. I know this isn’t going to be a popular blog but I would tell you study this before you blast and if your into books read the oldest book made The Bible and see what is expected of a man and woman by God himself. No matter what your opposite sex parent is doing your job is to continue to be the awesome parent you are.





Day 916 You can’t be mom and dad

29 07 2015

One of the many things I’ve learned since my divorce is that being a single parent maybe the hardest thing I’ve attempted to accomplish. You have your normal life of being an adult and then a parent to. At the end of the day there’s a lot more day than there is of you. You go back at the end of the day process and say I missed the boat on ABC but if you think about it you did pretty good. If your truly single and not in a relationship with the opposite sex you realize how much the other parent either male or female needs to be involved. sometimes they are but sometimes not. When there not I hear this. I have to be both mom and dad, or I guess I’m dad and mom. Nothing makes me cringe more than when I hear it. If you’re a woman you can read, every book, pray every day, but your DNA is not designed to be a man or understand as a man what your child needs. You might be cursing me or saying what an idiot but its true and that will never change. It’s not my opinion its fact. Women are caring, nurturing, loving, understanding, softer. yes  men have those characteristics and I do to but I’m not a woman. I’ve never carried a child or understand that bond nor can I ever. As a man to say that I’m all the things a woman is and I can do just as good of a job is laughable and vice versa. Men are risks takers, teach worth,  they are stern, they understand or see life in a different way, they like things most don’t, they respect differently and love totally differently. The bible lays out exactly how were different and whats expected of each.

So you want to argue with me and say you’re an idiot.If you read nothing else and understand nothing else let it be this:  If you’re a woman and tell your son your dad doesn’t matter I’m your dad, or your a dad and tell your daughter Im mom and dad what you have done is tell them that the other sex parent doesn’t matter. So what your telling them is that they being a woman or man doesn’t matter when they grow older and become a parent. I mean if one person that’s an opposite sex isn’t needed what will my role be. You take away what they were born or designed to be.  Tyler you don’t understand the other parent is absent. I do get it actually and it hurts you as a parent that the other parent just doesn’t give a damn but you are only who you are.

So what do you do. You only be the best mom or dad you can be. Don’t diminish the opposite sex parent. They will figure out eventually how the other parent is but they need to know that there are things that you can’t provide because you weren’t designed that way.  Help them find a mentor, push them to read about being a man, woman parent so they can appreciate what were doing but build who they are and what is expected of them as they become parents. I know this isn’t going to be a popular blog but I would tell you study this before you blast and if your into books read the oldest book made The Bible and see what is expected of a man and woman by God himself. No matter what your opposite sex parent is doing your job is to continue to be the awesome parent you are.





Day 540 Maybe I am a jerk

22 07 2014

Texas weather is always something to love and hate. Last week we had a polar vortex putting temps in the 80’s which is heaven. This week its 100 with 90% humidity. Its like your swimming when you walk. You go outside and sweat so much you smell like  a wet dog. I guess its wet dog for the next 60 days.

This will probably come across as whining so sorry but it’s becoming the truth. I’m beginning to think that honesty is not the best policy. Please don’t tell me you just need to be around different people. These are good people I’m telling the truth to. I’ve also learned that it’s how you say it. Some things you just  can’t put  a different way you just let them be said. I’m not a jerk, I’m a very honest, caring heartfelt person. I’m sick of feeling like a fool, the one whose always wrong, that I’m not strong, or a liar in disguise. People want honesty until it affects them. People can always pour it out but never pour it in.

I know people can live without me and vice versa. I know that every single person that has come and gone was there to teach me something. Some I know the lesson, some I didn’t and thought they were meaningless. I will never stop being honesty. I lived a life of lies and non words and it wrecked me. Just remember if you leave I can’t waste time and be taken advantage of because I’m a nice guy who has changed. Things could have been on what Might have been , standing on reason, arguing over different things. So if your leave you better get going on. It maybe for a short time or forever.

Just know I want you in my life but if we part ways there are no hard feelings I understand just don’t ask me to tell you anything but the truth. Sorry I whined, I get to write this blog and this is how i felt today.








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