Day 1700 So I met this girl

9 11 2017

The journey after divorce is a roller coaster. That might be an understatement. I started out with 6 months of no dating and then I dated a lot and often. I knew within about 10 minutes of every date well this wont work. After divorce you know what you want and don’t want if you don’t you shouldn’t step into another relationship. So I learned, I got frustrated, I got hopeless then I got engaged. It was good then my mom died. I went from having one parent to no parents. I wasn’t the same, and it was difficult on her to. We parted ways and you realize people do come in for seasons and it never makes sense to me but that’s God way so we go with it. Then I met this girl!

KAS and T

Im big on smiles, I’ve learned that on my worse days seeing someone smile can change my mood. So I was on an online dating site wasting time really when I was without my kids and her smile popped up. I was like wow her smile is amazing and she is super hott! Then her first line was mom of 2 angels in Heaven and I was intrigued. So I went through the generic questions and finally just asked to text. I had to know what the 2 angels in Heaven meant. Never in a million years did I think I would hear that her ex-husband killer her 2 kids and then killed himself. To stay I was speechless was crazy but me being speechless is unheard of. So while Ill gathered my thoughts i asked generic questions trying not to cross any lines. I was expecting my mind to push away because Im really good at pushing away but especially in this situation. Something was pulling me to her and not pushing. Yes Im drawn to helping others but this was more of I could love her.

We went on a date and typically she is very shy she said and she wasn’t and she looked so amazing. I was enthralled in listening to her. Trying to understand her story, how she made it, how she didn’t take her life. I couldn’t get enough of listening to her. She is the strongest woman I know. She helps others and strives to make others lives better. Shes so funny, witty, a little bit of a smart arse, but mostly she accepts me. I’m a weird dude, who has an opinion, who loves everyone, whose striving to make my corner of life better, who wants to change stereotypes and excuses, but mostly I wanted someone to understand grief and the pain that I carry and accept it and love me through it. Don’t give up on me and see the greatness I carry. Mission accomplished!

I have never met someone so selfless, that loves at a depth I’ve never seen, I believe because of what she has lost she sees what others can’t. She reminds me so much of my mom, strong, would do anything for anyone, and loves at a depth I had never seen. Everyone loves her and that smile can light up the darkest places in the world.

I would say I’m lucky but I don’t believe in luck. I believe in blessings and you get what you deserve it maybe tomorrow or 40 years from now but Im blessed to find what I prayed for  sitting alone in my high school football stadium when I was 18 years old.

God willing we continue to grow together and take our stories to help change the world, but mostly that we love each other with a love that neither of us ever experienced.  So thank you Karen Ashley for being on this amazing journey, you help make my world a better place. I love you! Love never ends

 

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Day 759 The greatest woman

24 02 2015

It happened the 2 inches of ice came and shut Dallas/Fort worth down. Everything came to a halt but I’m not good at sitting still so I went out and drove in it. It’s pretty cool to see a big city be quiet and still. I turned the heater up and the window down and appreciated the stillness. When I got back last night I sat outside for about 45 minutes and this came to me. There may not be a better sound than the silence of the outside when the ice/snow has shielded the ground and city of its sounds. In the silence we can hear so much more. It was worth ice coming!!

I love my mom! I don’t talk about her enough on my blog. There is no doubt in my mind that she is one of the greatest women ever put on earth. Shes 72 years old and you wouldn’t know. She has Parkinson’s and unless you watch her write you wouldn’t know really. There are starting to be some changes but mostly her left hand has to hold right hand when she’s writing. She’s stubborn but the stubbornness is what causes her to be so great. She doesn’t take no for an answer, she wont let you help her unless she’s really tired or letting you think she needs help lol. Shes tough and loving. She has always given tough love but the most compassionate love to. She has slapped my head when I buried it  in my bottom and given me the hug only a mother could. She has wiped my tears as a 39-year-old man and rubbed my head like when I was a baby and couldn’t sleep. I have watched her give her last dime to someone and it was usually my sister and I. If not somebody else. She has and always put herself above everybody and everything. She did it with a smile. She has been taken advantage of many times but it doesn’t stop her.

When everybody in my life was gone there she was and didn’t tell me I told you so. She may not understand me sometimes ( but who does) she tells me all the time she’s proud of me. If I’m being an idiot she tells me too and always corrects my bad grammar or my cussing. Being honest if she had to she could still kick my butt but please don’t tell her. When I don’t have the answers she may not either but I know she’s trying and just tells me she loves me. For my kids I could have never asked for a better Grandma. She spoils them and I mean bad, corrects them when necessary and listens to them like they are the most important kids in the world and  to her they are. She always insist to pay for everything and if you know her when her mind is made up just sit down. If you don’t she’ll make you sit down.

I used to think she’s the meanest lady in the world but because of God and my mom Im here today and thriving. She never gave up on anybody including me. I’m strong, a lover, a giver and a great man because she wouldn’t allow it any other way.

I’ve thought a lot about her lately and she is getting older and her Parkinson’s is getting worse. Besides me telling her I wanted the world to know how I was blessed with the greatest woman on this earth. I have no idea what I would do without you Billie Louise Wood. I love you mom.





Day 759 The greatest woman

24 02 2015

It happened the 2 inches of ice came and shut Dallas/Fort worth down. Everything came to a halt but I’m not good at sitting still so I went out and drove in it. It’s pretty cool to see a big city be quiet and still. I turned the heater up and the window down and appreciated the stillness. When I got back last night I sat outside for about 45 minutes and this came to me. There may not be a better sound than the silence of the outside when the ice/snow has shielded the ground and city of its sounds. In the silence we can hear so much more. It was worth ice coming!!

I love my mom! I don’t talk about her enough on my blog. There is no doubt in my mind that she is one of the greatest women ever put on earth. Shes 72 years old and you wouldn’t know. She has Parkinson’s and unless you watch her write you wouldn’t know really. There are starting to be some changes but mostly her left hand has to hold right hand when she’s writing. She’s stubborn but the stubbornness is what causes her to be so great. She doesn’t take no for an answer, she wont let you help her unless she’s really tired or letting you think she needs help lol. Shes tough and loving. She has always given tough love but the most compassionate love to. She has slapped my head when I buried it  in my bottom and given me the hug only a mother could. She has wiped my tears as a 39-year-old man and rubbed my head like when I was a baby and couldn’t sleep. I have watched her give her last dime to someone and it was usually my sister and I. If not somebody else. She has and always put herself above everybody and everything. She did it with a smile. She has been taken advantage of many times but it doesn’t stop her.

When everybody in my life was gone there she was and didn’t tell me I told you so. She may not understand me sometimes ( but who does) she tells me all the time she’s proud of me. If I’m being an idiot she tells me too and always corrects my bad grammar or my cussing. Being honest if she had to she could still kick my butt but please don’t tell her. When I don’t have the answers she may not either but I know she’s trying and just tells me she loves me. For my kids I could have never asked for a better Grandma. She spoils them and I mean bad, corrects them when necessary and listens to them like they are the most important kids in the world and  to her they are. She always insist to pay for everything and if you know her when her mind is made up just sit down. If you don’t she’ll make you sit down.

I used to think she’s the meanest lady in the world but because of God and my mom Im here today and thriving. She never gave up on anybody including me. I’m strong, a lover, a giver and a great man because she wouldn’t allow it any other way.

I’ve thought a lot about her lately and she is getting older and her Parkinson’s is getting worse. Besides me telling her I wanted the world to know how I was blessed with the greatest woman on this earth. I have no idea what I would do without you Billie Louise Wood. I love you mom.








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