Day 470 What these eyes have seen Part 2

15 05 2014

I have a request for you my followers and readers. Would you please like and comment on this blog posts for me. I’m keeping stats to show someone and the likes and comments help me justify what I’m trying to show.

One of the hardest days in a long time happened yesterday. The great thing about having a friend that will speak truth to you is that you see things that you ignored or just didn’t know. I have carried for probably 25 years and just thought it was normal. I was somewhat called out by my friend and also encouraged. After I hung up I pulled over and cried. I asked God to relieve this burden I had been carrying all by myself. I had a better day today. I saw things a tad bit different as well.

I got a few questions about why Im writing this blog. Mostly you get to know me but also where my inspiration comes from. It helps others know that no matter what they have done they are not alone and there is someone there with them if they choose to accept the feelings.

I realized in high school that if you’re an athlete and hurt that nobody cares until you can help them again. I know what its like to watch the last assets your parents have been taken away. I learned about being isolated and where your mind can go if you allow it. I was never so happy to get a phone a call that saved my life because I was ready to take it. That when a girl in high school tells you she loves you that you can go weeks on that feeling. The overwhelming joy of Padre Island and the guilt you can leave with from there. When you need money you will do just about anything to make sure you can eat. That high school graduation is really the last time you will see the people you grew up with. That pulling a trigger never solves anything. That the things you learn in high school about sex don’t translate to your marriage.

If you treat people right and go out of your way people will go out of their way for you. College was fun and that I lived a full throttle life. There are certain places in Austin you shouldn’t go. Having people fear you is not a way to live life. People do die from taking drugs. Holding a friend in your arms watching him take his last breath never leaves your thoughts. The people you hate or dislike could one day become your best friends. If you quit once you will quit again. First real loves will always stay with you.  Just try it you may not like it but you will have a story. Being drunk 38 days in a row will flunk you out of school. What happens at Rugby parties should stay at Rugby parties. My fraternity was awesome and we had a fun that can’t be explained.  A 3 second decision will change your life. Just kiss her what do you have to lose. You will finally appreciate your parents. Never forget about the little guy. The comal River in New Braufuls is cold and will cause you to swallow your dip and never dip again.  Drinking a bottle and a half of Jim Beam will cause  you not  to remember your last fraternity formal and you will lose your girlfriend. Open the door for a woman every time. Skip class and go fishing it s a story you will never forget. Just ask her out she may say yes. Being only the second college graduate in your entire family is an awesome feeling. Be thankful that your dad was able to muster the strength to sit through your graduation because he promised you he would. When you get your first offer letter for a job where your making more money than you can count don’t spend it before you start your job.

One more part and I will be done. Thanks for always reading.

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Day 470 What these eyes have seen Part 2

14 05 2014

I have a request for you my followers and readers. Would you please like and comment on this blog posts for me. I’m keeping stats to show someone and the likes and comments help me justify what I’m trying to show.

One of the hardest days in a long time happened yesterday. The great thing about having a friend that will speak truth to you is that you see things that you ignored or just didn’t know. I have carried for probably 25 years and just thought it was normal. I was somewhat called out by my friend and also encouraged. After I hung up I pulled over and cried. I asked God to relieve this burden I had been carrying all by myself. I had a better day today. I saw things a tad bit different as well.

I got a few questions about why Im writing this blog. Mostly you get to know me but also where my inspiration comes from. It helps others know that no matter what they have done they are not alone and there is someone there with them if they choose to accept the feelings.

I realized in high school that if you’re an athlete and hurt that nobody cares until you can help them again. I know what its like to watch the last assets your parents have been taken away. I learned about being isolated and where your mind can go if you allow it. I was never so happy to get a phone a call that saved my life because I was ready to take it. That when a girl in high school tells you she loves you that you can go weeks on that feeling. The overwhelming joy of Padre Island and the guilt you can leave with from there. When you need money you will do just about anything to make sure you can eat. That high school graduation is really the last time you will see the people you grew up with. That pulling a trigger never solves anything. That the things you learn in high school about sex don’t translate to your marriage.

If you treat people right and go out of your way people will go out of their way for you. College was fun and that I lived a full throttle life. There are certain places in Austin you shouldn’t go. Having people fear you is not a way to live life. People do die from taking drugs. Holding a friend in your arms watching him take his last breath never leaves your thoughts. The people you hate or dislike could one day become your best friends. If you quit once you will quit again. First real loves will always stay with you.  Just try it you may not like it but you will have a story. Being drunk 38 days in a row will flunk you out of school. What happens at Rugby parties should stay at Rugby parties. My fraternity was awesome and we had a fun that can’t be explained.  A 3 second decision will change your life. Just kiss her what do you have to lose. You will finally appreciate your parents. Never forget about the little guy. The comal River in New Braufuls is cold and will cause you to swallow your dip and never dip again.  Drinking a bottle and a half of Jim Beam will cause  you not  to remember your last fraternity formal and you will lose your girlfriend. Open the door for a woman every time. Skip class and go fishing it s a story you will never forget. Just ask her out she may say yes. Being only the second college graduate in your entire family is an awesome feeling. Be thankful that your dad was able to muster the strength to sit through your graduation because he promised you he would. When you get your first offer letter for a job where your making more money than you can count don’t spend it before you start your job.

One more part and I will be done. Thanks for always reading.





Day 460 Its over

5 05 2014

Spent my weekend in Austin in the Texas Rugby Championships. Got to sight see and if you have never Austin has everything. People, food, bats, and places. Ate well and healthy and somewhat healthy.  The one thing I was disappointed in was the unfriendliness of people. I try to speak and wave to a lot of people. The response back was almost none. It’s the first time it had ever been that way there maybe because the high Saturday reached 95 and it was to hot for May.

For 17 years I have played the most physically violent sport on the plant. I have loved it and hated it. I have won state championships, played in Western US championships, played teams from all over the world. Have won way more than I lost and been very humbled with butt kickings that taught me so much. Saturday we lost in the TRU championships in Austin. The first 15 minutes we played better than we had all year. We got inside the 5 yard line 3 times and only scored once. If you have placed sports you know that can be a killer and it was. The outcome sucked but I was so proud of how we played.  I walked off the field for my final time. I have been playing the past 7 weeks with a  fractured ankle so saying walked was an understatement. I actually teared up when I got to he sidelines because I’m no longer an athlete. I’m retired(I promise this time) I have played contact sports since I was 5.  33 years later my body is a mess but I’m a warrior and couldn’t be more proud of what I accomplished over the 33 years. Its hard knowing that I REALLY am done but its time to find something else to do. Rugby has given me my best friends and tons of memories both Good and bad.  No I get Tuesdays, Thursday nights back and Saturdays. Not much more to say but what a ride!





Day 460 Its over

4 05 2014

Spent my weekend in Austin in the Texas Rugby Championships. Got to sight see and if you have never Austin has everything. People, food, bats, and places. Ate well and healthy and somewhat healthy.  The one thing I was disappointed in was the unfriendliness of people. I try to speak and wave to a lot of people. The response back was almost none. It’s the first time it had ever been that way there maybe because the high Saturday reached 95 and it was to hot for May.

For 17 years I have played the most physically violent sport on the plant. I have loved it and hated it. I have won state championships, played in Western US championships, played teams from all over the world. Have won way more than I lost and been very humbled with butt kickings that taught me so much. Saturday we lost in the TRU championships in Austin. The first 15 minutes we played better than we had all year. We got inside the 5 yard line 3 times and only scored once. If you have placed sports you know that can be a killer and it was. The outcome sucked but I was so proud of how we played.  I walked off the field for my final time. I have been playing the past 7 weeks with a  fractured ankle so saying walked was an understatement. I actually teared up when I got to he sidelines because I’m no longer an athlete. I’m retired(I promise this time) I have played contact sports since I was 5.  33 years later my body is a mess but I’m a warrior and couldn’t be more proud of what I accomplished over the 33 years. Its hard knowing that I REALLY am done but its time to find something else to do. Rugby has given me my best friends and tons of memories both Good and bad.  No I get Tuesdays, Thursday nights back and Saturdays. Not much more to say but what a ride!





Day 453 I thought I killed my weeds

28 04 2014

I love Denton Texas. Its weird and its so personable.  It’s a little Austin Texas and it had started being developed the last 10 years. You can do just about anything here. Every year we have the Denton Arts and Jazz Festival. It brings on about 30 different acts Blues, Jazz, Country and some light rock. Vendors and fair type food. Our Rugby club gets to work security for the gates and I usually get to work the main stage. Last night I counted in over 5600 people of all shapes, sizes and colors but the best thing is everyone is friendly. I would say it was my good looks but I’ll stick to everyone is friendly.  If you have never been please come to  the Arts and Jazz Fest its a great time.I’m writing this blog so I can go back and read it over and over. If you happen to get something out of it I hope you can move you to make a few changes. We talked in church today about unforgiveness and bitterness. The church was pretty quite and nobody seemed to have to go tot he bathroom either. People listened even me.. No matter how far I have come I still have both bitterness and unforgiveness for people.  My list is smaller but I thought I was done with it until I heard this message today. When I had my house I loved planting a garden. The one thing I hated was those pesky weeds but I my tried hard everyday picking those weeds. If I didn’t my garden would have started to be choked out then eventually is would die. Our life is like our garden. Unforgiveness (weeds) will lead us to start growing the bad things day by day and then before you know it the good in our heart and life is gone which then develops bitterness. We have to pick those weeds and start now because once bitterness sets in  we start  saying I can’t do (forgive, we can’t love, we can’t see people for they are). We actually can but we won’t because of our harden heart . UnForgiveness and bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping for the other person to get sick. We start finding peace in the pain. We begin to believe that we are above the spiritual laws of the kingdom.I thought I was done with my weeds of unforgiveness. Sitting in church I realized I am still bitter. Its caused me to close off my heart and not to trust. You can’t love someone when you haven’t forgiven. You can’t live the life that you deserve when your bitter. You can’t believe in yourself and when the weeds start choking you we are destined to choke out and die. At least I know the weeds I need to pull. I will ask a few to hold me accountable and as usual I always have something to work on. This isn’t something Roundup works on either. You have to pull them at the root. So here’s to earning my green thumb.

 





Day 453 I thought I killed my weeds

28 04 2014

I love Denton Texas. Its weird and its so personable.  It’s a little Austin Texas and it had started being developed the last 10 years. You can do just about anything here. Every year we have the Denton Arts and Jazz Festival. It brings on about 30 different acts Blues, Jazz, Country and some light rock. Vendors and fair type food. Our Rugby club gets to work security for the gates and I usually get to work the main stage. Last night I counted in over 5600 people of all shapes, sizes and colors but the best thing is everyone is friendly. I would say it was my good looks but I’ll stick to everyone is friendly.  If you have never been please come to  the Arts and Jazz Fest its a great time.

I’m writing this blog so I can go back and read it over and over. If you happen to get something out of it I hope you can move you to make a few changes. We talked in church today about unforgiveness and bitterness. The church was pretty quite and nobody seemed to have to go tot he bathroom either. People listened even me.. No matter how far I have come I still have both bitterness and unforgiveness for people.  My list is smaller but I thought I was done with it until I heard this message today. When I had my house I loved planting a garden. The one thing I hated was those pesky weeds but I my tried hard everyday picking those weeds. If I didn’t my garden would have started to be choked out then eventually is would die. Our life is like our garden. Unforgiveness (weeds) will lead us to start growing the bad things day by day and then before you know it the good in our heart and life is gone which then develops bitterness. We have to pick those weeds and start now because once bitterness sets in  we start  saying I can’t do (forgive, we can’t love, we can’t see people for they are). We actually can but we won’t because of our harden heart . UnForgiveness and bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping for the other person to get sick. We start finding peace in the pain. We begin to believe that we are above the spiritual laws of the kingdom.

I thought I was done with my weeds of unforgiveness. Sitting in church I realized I am still bitter. Its caused me to close off my heart and not to trust. You can’t love someone when you haven’t forgiven. You can’t live the life that you deserve when your bitter. You can’t believe in yourself and when the weeds start choking you we are destined to choke out and die. At least I know the weeds I need to pull. I will ask a few to hold me accountable and as usual I always have something to work on. This isn’t something Roundup works on either. You have to pull them at the root. So here’s to earning my green thumb.





Day 453 I thought I killed my weeds

27 04 2014

I love Denton Texas. Its weird and its so personable.  It’s a little Austin Texas and it had started being developed the last 10 years. You can do just about anything here. Every year we have the Denton Arts and Jazz Festival. It brings on about 30 different acts Blues, Jazz, Country and some light rock. Vendors and fair type food. Our Rugby club gets to work security for the gates and I usually get to work the main stage. Last night I counted in over 5600 people of all shapes, sizes and colors but the best thing is everyone is friendly. I would say it was my good looks but I’ll stick to everyone is friendly.  If you have never been please come to  the Arts and Jazz Fest its a great time.

I’m writing this blog so I can go back and read it over and over. If you happen to get something out of it I hope you can move you to make a few changes. We talked in church today about unforgiveness and bitterness. The church was pretty quite and nobody seemed to have to go tot he bathroom either. People listened even me.. No matter how far I have come I still have both bitterness and unforgiveness for people.  My list is smaller but I thought I was done with it until I heard this message today. When I had my house I loved planting a garden. The one thing I hated was those pesky weeds but I my tried hard everyday picking those weeds. If I didn’t my garden would have started to be choked out then eventually is would die. Our life is like our garden. Unforgiveness (weeds) will lead us to start growing the bad things day by day and then before you know it the good in our heart and life is gone which then develops bitterness. We have to pick those weeds and start now because once bitterness sets in  we start  saying I can’t do (forgive, we can’t love, we can’t see people for they are). We actually can but we won’t because of our harden heart . UnForgiveness and bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping for the other person to get sick. We start finding peace in the pain. We begin to believe that we are above the spiritual laws of the kingdom.

I thought I was done with my weeds of unforgiveness. Sitting in church I realized I am still bitter. Its caused me to close off my heart and not to trust. You can’t love someone when you haven’t forgiven. You can’t live the life that you deserve when your bitter. You can’t believe in yourself and when the weeds start choking you we are destined to choke out and die. At least I know the weeds I need to pull. I will ask a few to hold me accountable and as usual I always have something to work on. This isn’t something Roundup works on either. You have to pull them at the root. So here’s to earning my green thumb.








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