Day 789 Have you had sex yet

25 03 2015

One of the toughest thing about being a parent is knowing what to do when you have a daughter that is getting older and the one time of month creeps on you and her. I was married for 13 years and didn’t understand it then and I’m darn sure I have no idea what to do with a little lady who has no idea whats going on or why. I’m sure God is laughing at me saying yeah figure this one Tyler.  We also started real baseball last night for my son. Baseball is great for my son because you put a weapon (baseball bat) in his hands and tell him to swing hard. Sometimes it’s not at the baseball though so were a work in progress.

A friend of mine for the past 10 years randomly sent me a message and after the pleasantries came right out and asked are you having sex yet. She said I read your blog and you mentioned in the past you haven’t and it really bothers me. She said her and her husband were talking about me Saturday at dinner and it’s just not healthy. I told her if I m a topic of conversation at dinner you guys really need to get out more and that gross to mention me with your dinner. haha.

Before I said anything I sighed and said a small prayer. What I’m TRYING to do with sex is so far our in left field compared to society so I expect few to understand. I could get all cocky and say in my lifetime I had sex with more than most reading this combined but in that is where my lesson is and was learned. What sex was meant to be was between two people who love and care about each other and every way, that nothing could break that bond. We all know what society says it is and I did an amazing job with divide and conquer with sex. I could do my deed and move and ACT like it didn’t hurt or bother me. Then you get bored with sex and trick it up and before you know it sex is some horrible, dirty, filthy, act that you do to just fill a void because of the pathetic feeling you have about yourself. I’m not going to lie there is a 5 minute window after it’s over that you feel pretty amazing but then all the STUFF climbs in your brain. Most guys will say Tyler you’re an idiot, you have no idea what you’re talking about, your stuff must be broken.  All I can say is okay. If you want to know what it takes to be a real man then come talk to me but until then I sit on my own island with my Wilson ball and try to be the best man I can be.

So my response to her was this: Sex hurts! No not to where I need to get a pill for that but the emotional and mental connection you create with someone runs deep like it or not. That whole friends with benefits crap is like having great inexpensive health insurance benefits it just doesn’t happen. Women want to feel safe and if you can’t keep her safe and trust yourself then how is going to feel that way. SEX doesn’t fix any problems only creates them. In a committed relationship it does create intimacy, love, safety and a connection like no other. Outside of that it creates jealously, greed, hate, and a lot of inadequacy. Men are encouraged to add up the women and we give each other trophies  for the number we have laid. It’s such a false teaching because our fathers didn’t teach us and it continues and it just passes it down. The amount of STD spreading around our great little country is horrible. I have enough problems with AIDS, HIV, herpes, etc.., You can never know if she is crazy if you’re having sex. Scientifically speaking the chemicals in our body will not allow us to see them for who they are because of the things physically we are doing. Thats a true study and finally I’m truly  trying to be what God wants. I struggle with my sexual thoughts, I cuss too much, I feel sorry for myself etc.. but at least I know today I’m not hurting anybody because I’m not wham, bam thank you mam and leaving a woman behind wondering whats wrong with me.

Im writing  from my perspective and a guy because that’s what I am. I know women are as guilt but I’m writing what I know. I will tell you this. Many women I have dated thought I was rejecting them when I said no. They have said the following things: Are you gay, are you a fag, is your  d%ck broken, you probably suck in bed. My only response each time was I’m so sorry you have never been respected and you don’t know that Im trying to show you there are good, respectful men. In my past I would have sex with each one at the snap of a finger but I have watched and learned.  Later when I got an apology from 2 of them they said I thought you didn’t think I was pretty, a guy has never told me no, and its the only way I know if you like me. My point exactly and both of those women said that what you’re doing is amazing and I’m not sure how you’re doing it but thank you.

So no its been and while and its my plan to stay sex free until she comes along! No promises I can because when I feel so lonely my past thoughts creep back in that I NEED it. I literally have to stop and pray God Im not strong enough to handle this. God is the only way Im here doing this . Thank God he’s watched every sex act in my life and still loves me and knows Im to weak to control this myself.  I have no other words of advice except that if you have looked in a woman’s eyes and see the pain it caused you don’t want to see it again, I have a daughter and I know the horrible things men say and think about girls and I have to be an example for her. So if you see me sitting like a castaway on my island with my Wilson ball just wave and pass some encouragement.

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Day 789 Have you had sex yet

25 03 2015

One of the toughest thing about being a parent is knowing what to do when you have a daughter that is getting older and the one time of month creeps on you and her. I was married for 13 years and didn’t understand it then and I’m darn sure I have no idea what to do with a little lady who has no idea whats going on or why. I’m sure God is laughing at me saying yeah figure this one Tyler.  We also started real baseball last night for my son. Baseball is great for my son because you put a weapon (baseball bat) in his hands and tell him to swing hard. Sometimes it’s not at the baseball though so were a work in progress.

A friend of mine for the past 10 years randomly sent me a message and after the pleasantries came right out and asked are you having sex yet. She said I read your blog and you mentioned in the past you haven’t and it really bothers me. She said her and her husband were talking about me Saturday at dinner and it’s just not healthy. I told her if I m a topic of conversation at dinner you guys really need to get out more and that gross to mention me with your dinner. haha.

Before I said anything I sighed and said a small prayer. What I’m TRYING to do with sex is so far our in left field compared to society so I expect few to understand. I could get all cocky and say in my lifetime I had sex with more than most reading this combined but in that is where my lesson is and was learned. What sex was meant to be was between two people who love and care about each other and every way, that nothing could break that bond. We all know what society says it is and I did an amazing job with divide and conquer with sex. I could do my deed and move and ACT like it didn’t hurt or bother me. Then you get bored with sex and trick it up and before you know it sex is some horrible, dirty, filthy, act that you do to just fill a void because of the pathetic feeling you have about yourself. I’m not going to lie there is a 5 minute window after it’s over that you feel pretty amazing but then all the STUFF climbs in your brain. Most guys will say Tyler you’re an idiot, you have no idea what you’re talking about, your stuff must be broken.  All I can say is okay. If you want to know what it takes to be a real man then come talk to me but until then I sit on my own island with my Wilson ball and try to be the best man I can be.

So my response to her was this: Sex hurts! No not to where I need to get a pill for that but the emotional and mental connection you create with someone runs deep like it or not. That whole friends with benefits crap is like having great inexpensive health insurance benefits it just doesn’t happen. Women want to feel safe and if you can’t keep her safe and trust yourself then how is going to feel that way. SEX doesn’t fix any problems only creates them. In a committed relationship it does create intimacy, love, safety and a connection like no other. Outside of that it creates jealously, greed, hate, and a lot of inadequacy. Men are encouraged to add up the women and we give each other trophies  for the number we have laid. It’s such a false teaching because our fathers didn’t teach us and it continues and it just passes it down. The amount of STD spreading around our great little country is horrible. I have enough problems with AIDS, HIV, herpes, etc.., You can never know if she is crazy if you’re having sex. Scientifically speaking the chemicals in our body will not allow us to see them for who they are because of the things physically we are doing. Thats a true study and finally I’m truly  trying to be what God wants. I struggle with my sexual thoughts, I cuss too much, I feel sorry for myself etc.. but at least I know today I’m not hurting anybody because I’m not wham, bam thank you mam and leaving a woman behind wondering whats wrong with me.

Im writing  from my perspective and a guy because that’s what I am. I know women are as guilt but I’m writing what I know. I will tell you this. Many women I have dated thought I was rejecting them when I said no. They have said the following things: Are you gay, are you a fag, is your  d%ck broken, you probably suck in bed. My only response each time was I’m so sorry you have never been respected and you don’t know that Im trying to show you there are good, respectful men. In my past I would have sex with each one at the snap of a finger but I have watched and learned.  Later when I got an apology from 2 of them they said I thought you didn’t think I was pretty, a guy has never told me no, and its the only way I know if you like me. My point exactly and both of those women said that what you’re doing is amazing and I’m not sure how you’re doing it but thank you.

So no its been and while and its my plan to stay sex free until she comes along! No promises I can because when I feel so lonely my past thoughts creep back in that I NEED it. I literally have to stop and pray God Im not strong enough to handle this. God is the only way Im here doing this . Thank God he’s watched every sex act in my life and still loves me and knows Im to weak to control this myself.  I have no other words of advice except that if you have looked in a woman’s eyes and see the pain it caused you don’t want to see it again, I have a daughter and I know the horrible things men say and think about girls and I have to be an example for her. So if you see me sitting like a castaway on my island with my Wilson ball just wave and pass some encouragement.





Day 28 Im dying my total days 13625

29 01 2013

Today was one of the weird days in Texas weather. I was driving with windows down and the wind-blown trough my scalp ( I have no hair) , then it started raining and the wind was blowing like the Wizard of OZ and I just turned my heater on a bot ago. Love Texas Weather.

I also got reprimanded for speaking about my ex here on the blog so I won’t be talking about her life and how it affects anything with me anymore.

I told all of you I was going to make amends,say I m sorry and tell people what they meant to me. I had another incredible lunch today with someone who today that I believe if I wouldn’t pushed her out of my life I would be married to her today. She was amazing and I treated her very badly but the apology was accepted very graciously. If I would just allowed people to love me I would have been a lot happier in my life. You know who you are and thank you!!

I m going to my first meetup tonight in Arlington. Wish me luck because I have no idea what this is, what to expect. At least I can tell someone new that doesn’t me all my dumb  my jokes

I’m dying and so are you I have lived 13625 Days: 20000 Days and Counting maybe one of the best books I have every read. Each chapter is 3 pages and is packed with life alternating information.  as I have said many times get busy living or get busy dying. Read the book and this will make sense. Sorry for being so dramatic.

Here are other people’s thoughts:

“I never trust anyone who claims to have all the right answers. But someone who can help me figure out all the right questions? That guy is gold. And that’s what Robert D. Smith delivers in 20,000 Days and Counting.”

— Dave Ramsey | New York Times Best-Selling Author and Nationally Syndicated Radio Host

 

“Inside these pages is a crash course in making the most of this adventure called ‘life.’ It’s simple, powerful, and perfectly reflects my neighbor in Nashville who always has a fresh way to look at any challenge I’m facing.”

— Jon Acuff | Wall Street Journal Best-Selling Author of Quitter: Closing the Gap Between Your Day Job & Your Dream Job

 

“Everything you need to know in order to create a basis for where you want to be is here in this book.”

— Andy Andrews, New York Times best-selling author of How Do You Kill 11 Million People?, The Noticer, & The Traveler’s Gift

 

“It’s no accident that this little book found its way into your hands. Don’t underestimate it. It will change forever how you think about your life. Read it. Absorb it. Live it!”

— Michael Hyatt | New York Times Best-Selling Author, Former CEO, Thomas Nelson Publishers

 

“When you’re pursuing a dream, it’s easy to be intimidated by “what you don’t know,” but Robert’s book provides practical steps on how to use “what you do know” to make your dream a reality! The principles in 20,000 Days And Counting are life changing!”

— Don Moen | Dove-Award Winning Artist, Songwriter, Musician, Producer

 

“Few people can hug your neck and kick you in the behind at the same time; Robert D. Smith is one! If you want the truth and nothing but the truth about making your life count, you want…no, you need this book now! This man gets it, and shares it powerfully with your best interests at heart. Things are about to change for the better in your life!”

— Rick Loy | Sales VP, AdvoCare International

 

“This book will make you passionate, excited, and utterly crazy about your life and the potential you possess. Be warned—people might stare!”

— Patsy Clairmont | Speaker, Author of Stained Glass Hearts

 

“20,000 Days and Counting captures the wisdom of the ages regarding how to live life on purpose.”

— Mark Miller | Vice President of Training and Development, Chick-fil-A

 

“This book will inspire readers young and old to approach their lives with enthusiasm and make every day count.”

— Carol Nygren | EVP & Managing Director, Women of Faith

 

“20,000 Days and Counting is as genuine as they come. Before writing the material, Robert D. Smith lived it.”

— Joseph G. Lake | Co-Founder, Children’s Miracle Network Hospital

 

“TheRobertD has unique and unprecedented wisdom that has made him the great accelerant to countless high-powered careers. In 20,000 Days and Counting he generously and abundantly gives you the inspiring principles to catalyze your next success. Who cares if you reach your goals? This book will guarantee you fulfill your life’s purpose.”

— Rory Vaden | Cofounder Southwestern Consulting, New York Times Best-Selling Author of Take the Stairs

 

“After reading 20,000 Days and Counting, you’ll get more out of your next 24 hours than you did out of your previous month.”

— Duane Ward | Founder/CEO Premiere International, LLC, Franklin, TN

Of all the principles shared the one that jumped out at me most was `Motivation is a myth.’ The author says:

“Believe me. You cannot motivate people to do any one thing. Even yourself. Never try to motivate yourself or anyone else to increase productivity. Instead, do the opposite: Increase your productivity, then the motivation will follow.

I reflected on my own experiences and could see the truth in this. My attempts at motivation in itself have often been very short-lived to downright failures. However, whenever I did just set my mind to it and accomplish a task, I found I was more likely to feel satisfied and attempt another.





Day 22 Just tell them

24 01 2013

I had one great day I drove every where but I got to eat lunch with a friend of mine from Jr. high. She is an amazing women who we shared a lot of life with. Let me preface before people freak out that it was not a date. She has an amazing husband and two children we wanted to catch up. I did most of the talking which I m sorry for but next time I will shut up. I made a promise to myself  this year to tell the people that have mattered most in my life how important they were to me and thank you. Don’t feel left out I haven’t got to everyone!!

After our 1.5 conversation I apologized for my crap, and thanked her for her friendship. I also told her that I was sorry that I never asked her out and she probably thought something was wrong with me because I never did. I will say that I had a huge crush on her and even though we shared a lot of things I never got the courage up to tell her or even explain why I didn’t. The biggest reason is my self-esteem has always been in the gutter. If came to telling someone off I was great at that but couldn’t say the good which brings me to the blog.

Just tell them! I mean the good stuff to a total stranger of that friend of 5 years of that person that you don’t know but you always think good thoughts about them. Yes even that person your thinking of now. Why when we have to tell someone something bad it just rolls off my tongue or yours, but when we want to tell someone your a great person, thank you for always being so happy, your hair looks great, your smile is contagious why won’t we. Or if you think they maybe hurt, scared afraid if I say something or they may reject me. All of these things are possible but what if the reverse happens. What if you saved that person, what if you made their day, what if your compliment changes their life. What if you tell someone how they mean to you and it changes your life. See free will works both ways. People always say that life turns out the way its supposed and I say yes and no. What if you would have said I think your amazing. Does your life change? People say well you wouldn’t have your kids that you have now, you wouldn’t have the life you have, but I would have another life it could be worse, better different kids. MAybe if we would have said something to that person our life changes for the better. Just something to ponder!

All I know that I m trying everyday to say something good to someone else because bottom line they need to hear it. I do get scared and fearful because I hate rejection. So far not one person has rejected me, or my compliment or my thank you. So I m going to make my amends, and I m going to say goods things because I love watching peoples faces light up and then my does too.

Thanks again to my friend for lunch and my friends that I will have lunch with in future!!








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