Day 26 Surprise or not

27 01 2013

I went from not knowing what to do to have a packed weekend. My buddy Scott had an interview and had to stay in Austin. Friday night I went to a relationship class called Understanding men. It was a coed class and I learned a ton. The one thing I think that women have no idea about men is that we are very fragile. We are built to be strong and we are but your words can crush us or make us feel like were on cloud nine. A compliment for a man can go on for three months if you tell him your proud of him and see if he doesn’t change. It’s not about who does it first or who continues it but you will see a change.  There is about this between men and women called  Love and Respect by Eggerichs. If a man knows you respect him he will do anything for you but let him believe you don’t and he stops dead in his tracks. He may not even know it. I encourage married couples, single, new relationship to try a class. If you’re doing everything correct you’ll know for sure but if not we can always learn something.

I get a call from my daughter at 11:10 Friday night and she’s crying. I was panicked and she said ” Mommy is getting married”.  (Surprise or not I knew this was coming)I gathered myself and told her that we had already discussed this and as long has mommy was happy that we have to be happy. This will never be the place to discuss this topic but it is difficult on my daughter which then becomes my problem too. Good luck to us all!!

I spent yesterday morning working and then spent the afternoon at Ambit energy simulcast. It is one amazing company that is the 7th fastest growing company ever. The ethics and morals of the company will take it to the best ever and I am so glad to be a part of it. After the event we had a team dinner and I was motivated and the excuses were killed by the leaders. It’s always good to be in a room of can do and not I can’t. I went to Winstar after that and enjoyed the tables and slots for a bit and actually did okay.

Finally I’m a retired Rugby player. My body has had enough and finally I’m smart enough to listen to my body. I went back to Rugby for the wrong reasons. 1. I was lonely and wanted to be with a group of guys that I at least had something in common with. 2nd I felt like I had to prove something to myself after the way I left the field injured. I did all the proving I need to that in 8 months I walked back out there after a severe broken leg. I’m finally maturing so now I will use my skills to help run the club from a board perspective.

Keep reading I’m going to talk about that I believe can change lives. Every chapter is only three pages and so freaking powerful.



Day 24 Look back but dont stare

14 09 2012

When I write this blog every night about my past it feels so unnatural, because I’m no longer the guy to dwell on the past. My life  has been full of peaks and valleys and because of that sometimes I have been able through this blog or other means to teach others about what is possible, but if I always look back  I could have never seen the road ahead. If your driving your car down the road intent getting to a certain  destination  it is physically impossible to look backward and drive forward. Eventually you’re going to crash. I crashed hard and we all will. The  choice then is look back or look forward. Do you know why the windshield is bigger than the back window?

When we are depressed and at our worst we feel locked up in our pain and how bad things are. We always dwell on our mistakes we have made and how OTHERS have done us wrong. The pain and confusion is multiplied because we keep looking at what happened and reliving it even when its not true. We always feel drained and hopeless because we never look forward with positive expectation. When we attach the bad from the past to the present  we are unhappy about the past, present and future. Does anyone agree or am I typing crap here.
Manufacture your happiness and its hard. People love misery and will try there best to pull you down. Smack the crap out of yourself and stop it. I wasn’t meant to broke, busted and disgusted with myself. You weren’t either.Remember happiness is just an emotion. And all emotions are manufactured and therefore can be deconstructed and made new.

I went to Flint Texas today near Tyler. It was a 2.5 hour drive there and back. Went to see a house fire and provide an estimate.  Life sucks for people when they feel there only way out is to set there house on fire to get money. I walked around the house and say the gas trail and new they were in trouble. I asked a few questions and told the lady they they had commented arson and did the fire department spend a lot of time there last night . She said they but they didn’t commit arson. I showed her why they did and then she confessed about an hours worth of info. They were dying a slow death financially. It broke my heart and I had a tear roll down my eye. I told her I feel for her and gave her a bit of my story. At the end I told her to go confess to the authorities and it would be a lot simpler. She said since it was her husband idea that she would tell the authorities that. I think she was being funny but not sure really.  I got to think a lot about them and my own situation in life. I am truly surrounded with great people in my life. I m very blessed and what those people pour into me helps me everyday. Finally I can pour back into them and this time its not a bunch of shit.

Here’s a funny joke from my daughter. Do you know why the turtle crossed the road? To get to the shell station.  I know someone just laughed. I did . My kids come back tomorrow and I couldn’t be happier. I went outside a bit ago and its 68 degrees outside. We are almost to fall and its great. I call this weather naked weather but I ‘ll stop there.

Please pass this blog along. If it helps one that’s one more than it would have. Love ya all

Day 22 Faith, Hope, and Love and the greatest of these is love

12 09 2012

Day 22 Faith, Hope, and Love and the greatest of these is love

via Day 22 Faith, Hope, and Love and the greatest of these is love.

Day 22 Faith, Hope, and Love and the greatest of these is love

12 09 2012

Had an amazing night doing an Ambit presentation. Thank you to Kim, Maria, Laura and my sister for coming out. Actually got to sit down and do 5 hours of work in Starbucks today. That is a great people watching spot. People are really serious about their coffee. I had a lady sit next to me today that I swear passed gas for an hour. She wanted to blame it on me I m sure but I didn’t do it I finally caught her raise up a bit and said that’s ridiculous. That’s funny she was so embarrassed she left. If I did I would have at least said excuse me. Its okay to laugh because if your 80 farts are still funny.  Okay moving on now!

The relationship class last night was different. We had worship for an hour and then met afterwards. The actual classes start next week. Its good to be in an environment where people are nearly has said and on the verge of tears. knowing that there is real hope was very encouraging. A great group of people and some that intrigue me a bit. Ha ha

I ve been writing my life rules I want to follow if you have been reading this blog long Rule 6

“There” is nothing better than “here.” I always wanted to be there and was never happy in my here. Talking the good times of the past rather making good times now. Many of us believe once I get this goal, a promotion, more money, a better spouse, etc.. then I will be happy. Once we get that goal then we look for some other for of happiness and we never obtained it yet. If all we do is long for something else then guess what  we never get.If you skip over now hoping  in to get the next “There” we miss the feelings and emotions of the present moment. Best example is our kids. Our biggest human challenge is not to look past our now. Its hard though because we have dreams, goals and aspirations and these drive us, but those same things can pull us away from our enjoyment of now.

Gratitude: When you stop comparing what is right here and now with what you wish were you can begin to enjoy what is. Cheri Huber

Faith, Hope, and Love and the greatest of these is love. LOVE IS NOT A FEELING BUT A DECISION. I am so sick of hearing well I don’t love him or her or I just don’t feel love for that anymore. Love is not a feeling its a decision. The hardest one you will ever make. You either do or don’t. There are days I m sure you don’t feel it but you still make the decision to do so. If love was easy there would be no divorce. So keep trying to make a love a feeling and you will wind up by yourself, with not but your feeling. Make the decision to love no matter what. The feeling of fighting your ass off to love someone is a hell of a lot better than knowing you gave up.


Day 21 Here I go again on my own

10 09 2012

Sorry for the title that crappy 80’s song was on my mind. I need to clear the air on one topic. I know I haven’t been clear on my sexual issues. I can’t out of respect of my ex but never in my life have I cheated, not even in Jr. high. I hate adultery, cheating etc.. So I had issues but it was not that.

I start a new class tonight at Gateway church called new relationships. Its about how not to screw up your next relationship. I think we all need it. I m not going to do this again. I made my mistakes and I want to learn from them.

People want to know what I do for a living. I m a General Manager for a construction company in Dallas. I used to own my own company doing remodeling and home building. I went to work my sub contract that worked for me. I m also an Ambit Energy Consultant. I m also A highly paid blogger. Okay just a blogger. Lastly I am a want to be comedian.

I struggled on what to write tonight. I still have my life rules I m working on and I will get back to those.

So I ll get back to me and start trying to wrap up what got me to be divorced. October 2010 we went to a Remodeling conference in Kohler Wisconsin. I brought my ex and my two employees. This is where my ex and office manager started their beginning to help destroy our relationship. Thats’ a blog for another day. Just know if someone has been divorced 4 times getting their advice is not going to help you in the long run. At this conference I realized I was going to either sale the business or close it down. I had lost my spirit and hope for it. Once that happens the business is doomed to fail. If I would have listened to my ex that week and weekend I would have known she didn’t love me anymore, and she was done with me. I got a list. If you start writing a  list crap is going downhill. All I know Is I walked out of Wisconsin that weekend more lost, lonely, and hollow than any other point in my life. Worst part I had no spouse to turn to. She was done with me. I got back home and went to my fathers grave and and asked him for guidance but as usual if he told me I wasn’t listening. I told him at his graveside that i would never come back and that I was done trying to talk to him.
There was an event that happened at Thanksgiving that I can’t mention but someone came to our Thanksgiving that to this day I must have been the stupidest man alive to allow.

I m going to class. Smile and smile when you don’t want to. Pass this blog on.

Day 18 Sex yes I said that horrible word

8 09 2012

Okay now that I have your attention. How can you miss something so much you don’t have. I m on day 388 now without it. Its been so weird that I have gone this long but its part of the healing process but also I was married for a part of that time and also there have been no takers. LOL.

I m reading a great blog by a beautiful lady in Australia and she talks about being single and going without sex. She’s a great writer and very funny check it out.

Its good to see there are people dealing with the same issues with the sex topic but sad how we have so little control over it. I messed my marriage up because I made it the focus and not the things that were important. I always wonder what happened after the newness or a relationship wore off why sex died. If you spend all your time focusing on the negative that’s what you get. Guys please remember we can get off really easy you better take care of your lady and meet her needs or you going to wind up in mess. No pun intended.

First big family function tomorrow after the divorce . The crap has already started today but I knew it would. It’s about my son and come hell or high water he will have a great day. I spent about an hour in Toys R US today. That place is awesome. I rode a bike around in the back seeing if I liked. The guy asked me what I was doing and I said like a smart ass a place where a kid can be a kid. I’m not sure he was amused. Boys are also easy to buy for you can buy a dollar car and know its going to be great. Girls on the other hand are amazing but man are they expensive. So tomorrow at Safari park there will be a bunch of kids, birthday cake and crying. I m not sure why I hear more tears at a birthday party but kids are always crying.

I m reading a book right now called Get Happy now by Joesph McClendon. I heard him last week at the Ambit conference. It was great.  A quote from him ” You are God’s artist, life is the canvas and your imagination is your paint. So dip your brush in your desire and create a masterpiece. Even if you make a mess turn it upside down and still call it art”

He talks about a huge gap and knowing something and doing it. It doesn’t matter what you know. It matters what you  do that creates change. I ve been a slower learned to that. I had to wait until crisis to do the change. . All I know is that I have to be willing to listen and receive new information. but then I have to choose happiness. I actually believe in the past I made a choice to be miserable. . We all know that we have to change, and usually know what it is but knowing and doing is totally different. Just like climbing in a car to start it there are a series of things that have to be done before it starts. Our mind is the same way.

Tomorrow the UNT Eagles play and I m going to hang out with a few good friends and my Fraternity which was Theta Chi. If you around come say hi.

Day 13th Dips

3 09 2012

So sorry to those who missed the blog that I didn’t write the past two days. It has been amazing busy with the Ambit Energy Conference and I spent 11.5 hours finally after 2 years taking my concealed handgun class. It was a long days but I heard a bunch of great stories and meet some awesome people. Out of a possible of 275 points and score 268. My cleburne roots came back I guess. I missed one the written test so now I can get my license. If you haven’t taken the class its very well worth.


The ambit conference was amazing. On Friday morning I got to here a PH. D John McClendon a psychologist from LA. First and foremost if you can ever here him or book him to speak make sure you don’t miss it. He was so funny and made fun of all of the excuses that we make. HE made a few profound statements that stuck with me.

Leaders do their part first and last. You usually here that leaders are the first but its the leaders that stay around tot he end are what matters.

Ambit and John MCCleddon both talked so much about help others and making their business better and making them money. The more you give the more you get back.

A few others things I took with me: Hindsight is 20/20 but so is foresight  if you open your eyes. Its in the past unless you continue to put it in front of you. Make sure you laugh not only in the good but in the bad as well.

Today in Church we talked about Dips. Not the ice cream or that person that our parents called about not to hang around, but life dips. For those that don’t know in the past few years there these things have happened to me: My father died, my exes father died, I lost my best friend, I filed business bankruptcy, personal bankruptcy, I lost my business, I lost myself, and finally I was divorced.

Those are the life dips that they were speaking of today. We all have the highs then the dips or the lows are coming.  When the lows come you have to do the following:

1. Determine what got u there 2. IS it self inflicted 3. Accept your situation, 4. What is on the other side

I made it through to the other side. I m on the up swing of my life changing. I can honestly say the statement that God doesn’t put more in front of you than you can handle. I thought was crap. I definitely pondered leaving the world because it was too much. I can’t honestly be more thankful than  I am for what has happened. I needed to change and all 0f these life events have helped shape me to where I m. I m excited to see what’s on the other side. I have better friendships, relationships, a better understanding of being a father. I didn’t get what I wanted when I was going through this but i got what the Lord wanted me to have.  Just hold on there is something great on the other side of the dips.


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