Day 44 No creativity

4 10 2012

Well thank u to the Texas Rangers and Dallas Cowboys for making me vomit in my mouth this week. I actually cussed out loud when Josh Hamilton dropped a routing flyball. Nobody cares though so I will move on.

My daughter made from scratch spaghetti and sauce. It was amazing dinner. She enjoys and is actually really good at it. We had parent teacher yesterday with myself and the ex and it was great. My daughter got flowing remarks and is also teachers pet. What can I say she is a chip off the ole block. Lol


I don’t have a lot of creativity today so I m going to steal from the Huffington Post article sent to me by my friend Javier.Single Fathers: Wearing Many Hats And Still Dating With Charm

This article was written by: Kimberly Seltzer LCSW is a Therapist, Matchmaker, Personal Image Expert and Dating Coach at The Art of Charm.

Here are six things all single dads need to do when dating again:

1. Compartmentalize your life to create balance. Many single fathers describe feeling like they have split-personality disorder. Bouncing from leading a meeting as CEO of your company to playing with your son to meeting someone new for a date can be daunting. Instead of letting all of those roles blend together, take the time to cultivate each one. For instance, if you are at work, try to put most of your energy into your professional goals and think about your date afterwards. Also, make sure you have allotted some time to shake off that role before heading into the next. If you have a date right after work, allow some transition time to relax. Listen to music, talk to friends and change your outfit. Much like a costume change in a play, switching outfits is important to help you get into your new role. Avoid running from one event to another without some down time in between.

2. Embrace the benefits of being a single dad. It is easy to focus on the negatives — the heartbreak and emotional turmoil of divorce. Instead, embrace the positives of dating the second (or third, of fourth…) time around. Many women say they actually prefer dating a divorced man with children because they are more giving, caring and know what it is like to be in a long-term relationship. They also already have children so there is less urgency, desperation and fear of a biological clock ticking.

3. Exercise the mind. Stimulate and challenge yourself mentally. Acquire a skill and learn about things you might not have been able to master when married. Discover a new career, go back to school, take classes, learn a language or read books. By doing this, you might tap into a new part of you and have more to talk about when you are on dates. Women love men who are interesting and can carry good conversations.

4. Feed the spirit. Create calmness, balance and inner peace within yourself by finding you time. As a single father, you are expected to be both mom and dad, all while having to bring home the bacon. It’s important to do things for yourself and to let off steam. Join a basketball league with other dads, get a massage, take a vacation or go to a concert. Maintain old friendships and encourage new ones with other single men so that you have a social life outside of parenthood. Having a good group of friends will give you more opportunities tobe social and increase your chances of meeting women.

5. Take care of your body. Many times as a parent, you don’t carve out the time or have the energy to exercise. But exercise is a great way to refocus your energy, get in shape and have that you time. Also, you’ll sleep better and have more energy for your kids. If you truly can’t find the time to exercise, make it a part of other activities. Run around with your kids, walk with a friend, and be sure to schedule those activities the same way you do with work and errands. You can also get into your body and out of your head by taking a salsa lesson or an improv class to regain your confidence. Remember that the majority of communication is nonverbal, which is extremely important in capturing a woman’s eye. Women love men who are comfortable in their body.

6. Get a great dating image. Your date clothes should look different than your corporate and daddy clothes. Overall, your dating image should be cool, youthful, sexy and updated. Get rid of the pleated pants, college basketball shirts and acid-washed jeans. Women really pay attention to how you dress when forming a first impression. Make sure you look at your wardrobe and see if it makes the statement you want. Always go out looking your best, whether you are going to the grocery store or walking your dog. Dress in a way that makes you feel confident because you never know who you might meet.

Getting back out into the dating world as a single parent can feel overwhelming and exhausting, but try to have fun and enjoy the freedom. Think of it as an opportunity to find yourself again!

I think I m heading in the right direction. If not I have a small checklist.

Love ya pass this along

Day 28 Cool Whip and Blue Balls

17 09 2012

Most of you probably thought something perverted. Shame on you because I m an angel and would never say or think anything like that. :}  I love cool whip! Might be the best food ever. I also looked at buying my daughter a blue soccer ball today. Now that we have that out of the way.

Tonight is the first official New Relationship Class at Gateway Church. I m looking forward to it so I can learn how to move forward and not screw up anymore relationships. The singles ministry at this church is amazing. It probably has over 500 people in it.

Got to have a great talk today with Jim and Scott. Its amazing how many of us men have issues with money and sex. Its great thought to have friends to hold you accountable. If you only talk about the Cowboys, weather and girls theirs so much more.

The richest person is the one who in contented with what he has. Robert C. Savage. One of our biggest fears for us humans is scarcity. Many of us are afraid of not having enough of whatever it is they need or want. and so we strive to get to some point in the future when we finally think we have enough.. We all fool ourselves into believing that one day we will have everything “all set” we will have all the money, possessions and love we crave. In all honestly we never really ever will have enough.. Abundance means that all things are possible and that there is more than enough of everything for everyone right here right now. I never would have bought stock in my life. I was a stock market crash waiting to happen. When it did  I had nothing and I mean nothing.. When I got to my knees not by choice I go t peace. The first time  in life that there was nothing to do  but be. I still have a ton of struggles but I m at peace. Being in the now allows  me not to find fault. Don’t float through your life completely detached from the past an blind to the future, but stop and feel like your feet are firmly planted and feel the peace.

Rule 7 and the rule I learned the hardest Others are only Mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.. You have 4 minutes to make an impression if you like or dislike  someone.. Our reactions though are how we perceive our self. I will continue this more tomorrow.

Thanks for reading and pass this along. Love ya all

Matthew Winters (Honest Thoughts from a Pastor)

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