Day 123 My final Hurdle

23 12 2012

I hope at least once in your life you have watched a track and field meet. The athletes are amazing and do things that many of us would not believe. I’ m always amazed at the 400 meter hurdles. To run full speed around a track and jump a hurdle and never miss a stride is awesome. When they get to the last hurdle that is the difference in winning and losing.. It gets a lot of hurdlers and sometimes the best, but when they make it over they have very little left but know the finish line is within reach and the hardest part is over.

That’s my life right now. 2012 has sucked but been amazing at the same time. I m at my last hurdle and all I have to do is clear it. I have been with my children at every big moment and event in their life.  I have been thankful that I have had the opportunity and many times made that a priority. Christmas morning is an amazing time for a parent I know it’s for the kids but that is the day you see expressions on your kids faces that you will never see any other time of the year. This year I miss that moment. The divorce robbed me of that. I think I m doing the right thing though even though it breaks my heart. I have my kids and we only have to share Christmas day but I think for my kids sake that it would be best that they spend Christmas eve night with their mom and wake up in their home. It’s the only home they have known and it’s not an apartment like I live in.  I thought a lot that this was my final punishment /hurdle in my divorce journey for helping screwing up my marriage and being such a shitty guy for 4 years. It’s just another step in remembering what I did and try to never repeat myself. A lesson learned so the next women will get the best of me and so will me children. It honestly hurts more that I ever imagined but the sacrifice for my kids are worth it.

I know my last hurdle is in less than 48 hours. I have made it around the track this year. I missed some hurdles fell over some, and cleared many. I am at the last hurdle  and can see the finish line. I have to muster this up one more time and reach the finish line. I ve had a lot of great people cheering me on and I don’t want to let myself, friends or my children down.

Look out world 2013 is the year of Tyler Wood releasing his inner badass.

Merry Christmas

Day 29 Parenthood oh crap

19 09 2012

I m sure people have seen the Axe body wash commercials for men. Well I bought some and I m suing for false advertising. After I got out of the shower their were no hot women waiting for me or smelling me. What a bunch of crap.

I honestly had no idea what to write about but I do after tonight. Parenthood is amazing and I couldn’t be more thankful. There are moments like tonight that make sure scratch your head and yes wash your hands. We went on a trail walk and before we went I asked does anyone need to go to the bathroom and of course nobody needed to go. We got about 1/2 mile down the trail and my son said he needed to poop. I said can you hold it and he started the poop dance. No I can’t hold so the trail is very remote and nobody was around but what is a little boy to do when nature calls. Yes my 4 year old took his first outdoor poop. He had a hard time mastering the outdoor poop squat be we didn’t get any on his cloths. The one thing the great outdoors does not have is toilet paper. My son was not allowing a leaf to his butt so off with the underwear. Yes underwear are great for toilet paper but I wasn’t about to throw them away. I had no pockets so my Iphone and dirty underwear were in my hands. We even went to the park. I m sure your asking why didn’t u just put them in your pocket. I was wearing athletic shorts with no pockets. So thank Gosh for soap hot hot water and great laughs. When we got home my son asked to take a bath because his butt was squishy.  Some days crap happens.

Today dragged on forever until tonight. I need to practice my rules better because today I wished I was in another place. For all that know me I love Southern California. The weather today in Texas reminded me so much of San Diego and Santa Barbara. If I didn’t have kids I would have moved there after the divorce. I love the the people the weather and yes the women are okay too. My plan is to get ahead financially enough that at least once a quarter I can head out there. Its not running from problems but just getting to something different.

Change is one of the most major issues we all face. There are two types of change Involuntary and Voluntary. Involuntary change is where we adapt to our surroundings habitually and unconsciously. Voluntary change is deliberate and even though  we might not like what we have to do we take the initiative and systematically, consciously make a change in behavior and thought. Most change is involuntary or unintentional. We do adapt well and the fast pace of life dictates that we must or get left behind. Media does a great job of letting us know that we have to adjust our way of life . I believe this now that if someone can achieve something then I can and so can anyone else. We can also do it faster and better. I have changed and we all continue to change. If you have any doubts about that  consider this: You used to poop your pants. That’s; right at one point in your life you felt completely comfortable with dropping  a load right there in your diaper. You didn’t think anything of it and it seemed to be the right thing to do. Then at some point you learned that you needed to make a change and you did.  For MOST of us it was a progressive change, but it did occur. At other points in our lives change occurs in the blink of an eye.


Day 25 I have my kids

15 09 2012

Wow its an awesome feeling to have my kids. I wrote on facebook today that Most amazing sound ever is my kids laughter!. We went grocery shopping and bought food for all of our planned out meals. I m getting the hang of this but if I didn’t my daughter would kick me into shape.

Another busy day and some counseling. There are some days that you want to punch your counselor because their right and you don’t want to hear it. I signed a pledge on something and got called out today. I m glad I was called out but damn it made me mad in the long wrong I know I will be better.


I m still an immature about farts. Click on the link above and read it I almost peed myself.

Since  m still in writing my rules. I will continue with Rule 6: “There” is no better than “here” I wrote previously about I finally live this way. I remember I would always say . If I could just get this to change (money I made, city I lived car I drove etc..) Things would be different. When I got what I wanted I actually loaned for things I gave up. I had to learn Gratitude  and appreciating now and not the “there”. We have to learn to reinforce the gratitude lesson. Its way to easy to overlook the gifts yo have when you focus on what you don’t have and what you need to obtain.

Here are a few suggestions to get over and learn gratitude:

Imagine what life would be like if you lost all you had. Its better to think it than lose it.  Trust me.

Make a list of the things your grateful for everyday. Do this especially on the days you feel their is nothing to be grateful for.

If you want I can take you to places and you will see how much you have.. I don’t care how you learn this just please do. Just make the space in your mind for appreciation so you can live now.

No matter what  remember you have to learn Unattachment. The hardest lesson to learn is not to be attached to the results of your actions. . Release the need of expectation if your not grateful.

Continue to pass this blog on If one person gets something out f it. It was a great day. Love you all.

Matthew Winters (Honest Thoughts from a Pastor)

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