Day 1871 is the past the past

30 04 2018

Another week and another day getting Balder. Man the patch on my head if I let me hair grow just a little bit looks like i have mange.  Also the fact next week my daughter will be 16 I’m officially getting more seasoned. I don’t use the word old.

The past is the past or is it? I believe it is. What I did in my past will never change. I’m sorry, and wish more than anything I could change the pain i caused people, the people I stepped on to get what I wanted, the conditions I put on people that I wouldn’t follow, the relationships I wrecked because of fear, or the men I hurt because honestly it made me feel better.  I paid my penance and some days I relieve it. I will never forget what happened or what I did but I’m taking my past to help change people’s lives. I never thought one day I’m going to take this crappy relationship or whatever and help change people lives. I wish you could have been with me when my life started the tumble that I  saw coming (at that point it was too late). Would I blow my brains out, try to drown slowly, have a car crash, or just ove dose. I get it and I was alone during my walk by my choice. People who struggle with anger, self-worth, addictions, sex, manipulation. Why do i do this because people harbor their past and live in it. Living in the past will kill you one way or another. I want to help the people who want to learn from their mistakes and never stop moving forward, even when they take two steps back. For the people that have so much tied to their past relationship, but break those chains to start fresh. We’re a rare bird but we attract other rare birds which is one cool flock.

If you’re a person that constantly reminds people of their past, or you can’t forgive them of their past especially when trying to get better! You’re the one with the problem. Get out of the relationship. You need help. Don’t crush someone else because you can’t deal with yourself.

The past is the past and if you hold that against someone you need to be someone else’s past. People can never change if you continue to slap them with things that can’t be changed. Yes you can mend fences but what caused the fence to fall wont be forgotten. Its our job to look past the past and try to help that person move forward, if you cant, please step away, remember grace is a 2 way street

God died on the cross to forgive our sins from tomorrow, today, and yesterday. So stop playing God people, it is finished, let it go. He died for everyone, not the ones you can’t forgive. Dont try drinking a cup of poison and hope the other person gets sick.

Love you all.

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