Day 1752  Destroy that please

31 12 2017

Happy new years eve.  2018 so weird to say but glad we made it.  

Have u ever watched a building be blown up, a fire destroy a home, a car accident shrink a car to nothing. Those are devastating and heart breaking for sure.

Not everything that is destroyed is bad though. As we all reflect on the new year i would hope and pray for each person reading this that 2018 is a year that you destroy. Destroy anger, relationships, past brain trash, your divorce, your hate,  the death you already created thats causing us not to be able to live. 

WE CANNOT MOVE FORWARD WITH THE LIFE THAT IS INTENDED HANGING ONTO THE THINGS THAT KICK OUR ASS EVERYDAY.

I struggle with never being enough, not being able to believe enough in myself to get out of the well. 

I struggle with anger because since i cant let go of things that strangle me, so i get angry thinking that will fix it, what it does is drives me away from everything i love.

Im not strong enough to do this alone.  God actually likes me enough to know if you want to leave behind is holding you down he will take it away but i must want to do it by actions not words.

I have to let go, destroy what is destroying me, or look up this time next year writing another blog about the crap that has a hold of me.

You may read this this and say man Tyler you have issues, yes i do and always will. I dont want this garbage anymore, i pray for me its not about resolutions that nobody follows through on but destryoing whats plagued me since i was a 10 year old boy.

To live like nobody else, you must live like nobody else.

I love you and pray that you get what you deserve and you can smile a real smile in 2018.

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Day 1728 I bleed too

7 12 2017

Hello from a cold state of Texas. Monday putting up Christmas lights it was 84 today its 38 and we have snow flurries.  Merry Christmas to you all. Stop stressing you’ll get it all done! If not Christmas comes next year too.

The hardest thing I believe we as adults have to do now is be real! You would think that it would be real easy. People hide, I mean if this was a game  of hiding go seek, we have some real champions. People look you in the eye, tell you I’m fine, Im okay, its good. Then they walk away and go cry in the car. Im not sure when the stigma started that just give generic answers to people and I’ll be okay. It’s okay to admit that life sucks sometimes. I know we are all blessed and highly favored. We were all born that way but do you really think you’re fooling someone when it’s all okay. When you have been in the pits you know when someone is going through hell. You feel it, you know it, you understand that feeling. So why do we do it. Some say Im just trying to be positive, (You can put a dress on a pig it’s still a pig), some don’t know how to communicate, some have been told don’t say things like that, some are just to beaten down.

People care, proper to contrary belief. Not all but people care. You need the people who will let you bleed. not physically, I mean yes physically but not in this example, The emotional and mental bleeding which is healthy.

You have to get this crap out of you. Whatever your crap is You must bleed. I bleed quite often, sometimes by myself, I feel like a burden, I feel weak but then I realize I need others too. I want to be the strong one for everyone but my shoulders are only so big.

I know the holidays are tough especially the older we get, have a good cry, communicate your crap, yell but bleed it out to those who get you. If you don’t have  that person now you have something to do in 2018.  Being silent does not make you strong. bleeding out and being honest is a sign a strength and something someone needs from you too.

Make a memory this year, make that phone call you haven’t, tell someone how important they are to you. When you give a hug hold on just a bit longer. Love you

 








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