Day 1566 dad are you there

18 06 2017

Hi from beautiful Seattle Washington, Sometimes you need to get away. Life has weighed down on me the past 1.5 year half. So finally just picked a city and went. I could live in Seattle the high was 68 while here. Going back to 99 yikes.

This is my 12th year without my daddy and my 15th being a daddy.There are days it feels like he just left us and days I feel like hes been gone all my life. I remember so much more he taught me and thungs make so much more sense. Theres not a fathers day that goes by i wish i couldnt hug him pull back and look in his eyes and have him tell me hes proud of me. Since my relationship was strained so often i learned about being a daddy. It took me a while but because of that this day is full of so many emotions. My best responsibilty i learned  in life was getting a 2nd chance to  being a daddy to my 2 beautiful angels. Not one hour goes by where i dont think how to better their life and what can to to help them not go down my path. I know my kids love me and i hope when they grow old they consider me their hero.

The other opportunity from my dads relationship  is showing man and woman what being a dad can be no matter how far off the path you fell. 

I know so many that are afraid of messing up but put one foot in front of the other. You are a hero. Its not about a cape its about showing up. 

I love you daddies out there that put it all on the line knowing we have no ideas what were doing but loving our kids.

Happy fathers day and you matter.





Day 1566 Why didn’t you just ask

8 06 2017

Hello world: On Tuesday of this week I approved my book and it went to the printer. it took me 2.5 years to decided I was worth writing a book and anyone would read it. Yes Im excited but having it my hands will feel amazing. You better buy a copy pretty please.

Why? One of the most thought-provoking questions we can ask? On the other end is the answer. Sometimes its good and sometimes it’s not. So why do we stop asking Why as an adult. A few reasons I believe: We don’t care, the answer is going to hurt, we think we already know the answer. Little kids ask why all the time yes we get tired of hearing why and finally because we said so. That doesn’t stop them though.  Brian Dodge was a speaker I heard once and he said as an adult when we stop asking why our learning is over. How scary is that? So then we go to the famous art of assuming. Every time I assumed I was wrong. Do you remember the last time someone said Why didn’t you just ask me? You say I don’t know and walk away like why didn’t I just ask?

I’ll agree that when you ask sometimes the answer is awful. I asked my ex-wife when it was over do you love me anymore. She said no. My heart dropped to me knees I felt sick but I knew I needed to hear it. In college I asked a girl who was out of my league that I flirted with forever why wouldn’t you go out with me. She looked me in the eye and said I will you just have to ask me.

Why is  gathering wisdom, understanding, caring and respect. So the next time you don’t ask why just remember this is what you’re missing out on:

Showing someone you care, asking why is letting them you took time out for them their special, To eliminate confusion, To demonstrate humility to another, To enable a person to discover answers for themselves, To gain empathy through better understanding another’s view, To begin a relationship, To strengthen a relationship, To gain a person’s attention, To solve a problem.

Why you don’t ask these things are also possible: To find a culprit, To embarrass and shame, To appear superior, to create fear, To manipulate, To play the victim, as in, “Why is this happening to me?

Every time I don’t ask why I miss out on something. If you know me I ask a lot of questions not because I’m nosy but I care. I want to know you, I want to know what makes you tick, you’re special but I don’t know why until I know you. Its called conversation which I know is a dying art, but my best relationships are the ones where I know why and Im talking the dirty why too.

Why ask why. We need to know, someone needs to know you care. Love is asking why. Sometimes you don’t want to the but you might be pleasantly surprised what the answer really is.








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