Day 1257 Im engaged

22 07 2016

4 years ago I walked out of the courthouse in Denton Texas and with my divorce paperwork in hand said this was it. Never did I want to be married or be in love again. It hurt too much. Everything I knew and believed about relationships and women was flushed away with the gavel hitting the stand.  I was in the process of rebuilding me but that part I just didn’t want a part of. I went 6 months of dating nobody as I worked on repairing my bitterness, anger and the stitching back my heart. I started dating and hated it. I would meet a nice girl then get afraid and run like a kid playing hide and go seek at school. When I started believing in myself more I started to believe that maybe my goal was just to be a daddy, work and enjoy be single. I had done online dating, meeting my friends, (not recommended) and randomly asking someone for a date that I never met.

Last June I was done with dating. I was ready for God to just drop her in my lap otherwise screw it.  I got an email for 1 month free then pay for one month for online dating. I tried it and July 5th of last year was my last day. On July 4th I sent a message to a girl named Stephanie in Austin. It was long distance and that wouldn’t work but why not. She responded and we started messaging. She was in Iowa visiting family so I couldn’t meet her. August 18th I drove to Austin and went on a small date just to meet because I had to get back and go to work. She was stunningly beautiful and the best thing is at dinner she put her arm around my arm.  I left and said she was pretty cool but I can’t make that work. I suck at distance and I need someone here everyday. After going back and forth mostly her coming here. I decided in October I wanted to be her boyfriend. I went back and forth not because I didn’t like her or was starting to love her but my fears. I wasn’t worthy, this can’t be real.

The Monday before my mom died we had a serious conversation about Stephanie. She said son I love her and she’s great for you. Stop finding things wrong and find the things right. My mom died the next day! Since that moment she has been my rock. She had no idea what to do for a man who was so close to his my mom but she has done it. She loves me and my kids unconditionally.  She tries everyday to understand how weird I am. I love her and never knew what it was like  to love someone like this. Faults, quirks, great things. i love her.

Last Thursday we went to Puerto Vallarta Mexico for a short vacation: I had made plans to ask her to marry me but she had no idea. Everything fell into including the ring get through the airport screening. Last Friday night i hit my knee on the beaches of Puerto Vallarta and asked Stephanie Ann Lemburg to be my wife and she said yes. I was so nervousness and didn’t want to screw up. I succeded

Never give up, God said he will restore what the Locusts ate. Here is another part of rising through the ashes. I couldn’t be more blessed to have put down my will and accept his.





Day 1242 Remember when you were going to be great

7 07 2016

Hello long-lost blog world. I’m still alive. I guess I took a break from me and my brain for a bit. It’s a hard job but someone has to do it. 🙂 The summer is great and so are sun burns. So much so Im shedding my skin from what the sun did to me don’t worry. I don’t have a disease I’m just finding my 40-year-old skin.

Do you remember when we dreamed, remember when we hunted and weren’t the hunted, when we were going to be great, when nothing would stop us. Then life that we never knew or understood slapped us and even though we are still standing our knees are knocking but people can’t see it.  Remember when we weren’t afraid to fail. Maybe because we were 20 and stupid and now we know what life is capable of. We only see the negative of life and because of that we get afraid, apprehensive, we just stand there and say I want to be great BUT! Then we don’t! We get to our death-bed and say all the things we should have done and we speak them out loud but we thought them for 40 years. We settled, told our heart to stop, we forgot life is about ups and downs, but only want to talk about the downs. We lost our faith, not only in God but in ourselves. We don’t want to start over because “we can’t” but if tomorrow wasn’t coming we could. Nothing is easy! Not one damn thing and we know that.  We cannot let our past destroy us! We must stand up for ourselves because nobody else will. Decide today is my last day because it could be. Smile again, and push yourself places you have never been.  Tell yourself I can and will! No excuses!

Maybe Im writing this blog only for me! If so thats okay someone needs it.





Yep

6 07 2016




Guest Post: How Life’s Struggles Shouldn’t Rob You Of Its Joy

5 07 2016

Lessons From the End of a Marriage

My grandmother has faced so many enormous struggles in her almost 100 years on this earth. And it seems she has emerged from each one wiser and more joyful. Not because of the struggles, but because of her determination to not allow the bad days to steal her smile.

When my own bad days threatened to consume me, I thought of my grandmother and her continued joy. It seemed like a good mindset to strive for.

Guest poster Dave Scott has also reached that mindset and he shares with you his story along with some encouragement to keep your smile bright.

How Life’s Struggles Shouldn’t Rob You Of Its Joy

Life has never been easy for me.

There’s never been an ‘simple-street’ that I got to live on.

My journey on this earth has been one challenge after another, and it often times seems like one monumental conflict.

Can you relate?

I’m…

View original post 1,503 more words








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