Day 1178 Grass, dirt and some dust

27 04 2016

This time of year is so cool. So many festivals, sports, weather is good and then hell is unleashed in Texas with hail and tornadoes, kids events and work. Only problem is I forget to rest or sleep but they say you get a really good cat nap when your gone so I guess I’ll wait for my cat nap. Did you also know that the older you get you have to pee more. It’s ridiculous because the Dr says drink more water so I do then I pee while standing up in the middle of the night and almost fall asleep while I’m doing it. I know I have issues but its okay I’m in counseling!!

Most of you know that my mom passed in December. Most of you know that grieving is a process and sometimes you just don’t want to have to deal with it. My mom has a storage unit that she’s paid for 25 years and it was time to clean it out. So on Sunday my sister and I decided  it was time to quit avoiding the obvious and move on. Im not sure what we were worried about the smell of moth balls or the memories. With the help of my girlfriend and my sisters  boyfriend we started. All of our childhood toys were in the storage, cabbage patch, Barbie, little people, he-man, hot wheels, wrestling figures, our sports trophies, my college football letters. I never asked my sister much about it just kept moving on. Uncovering every dusty box, or dresser full of stuff. Every box I opened I wanted to cry, smile or kick the shit out of it because both of my parents are gone. I could remember the games we played, or the sports stuff when my parents came and watched. My sisters twirling stuff that they were so proud of her about. Each box was a memory that I kind of cringed because I knew that my past was sitting there looking at me. How hard my parents worked to provide for us. Then the boxes when my dad became disabled and i shoved things away so they wouldn’t remind me of him back then and now everything from my past is in a dusty box.

Please don’t feel sorry for me or pity me. I’m just keeping it real. Sharing feelings that maybe one other person feels so that don’t feel alone. My girlfriend had to get back to Austin so we left with most of the work done. Since I didn’t get home very often I stopped by my parents graves. One grave is where my life changed with forgiving my dad and the other was my mom who I still think is coming back. I just stood there looking at the grass on one and the dirt on the other. I couldn’t muster anything to say so I just told them both I loved them and drove off. I then drove to my old home. We sold it 2 years ago and I pulled up it was over grown the house was in complete mess. I drove around the property got out and smelled the air. It felt familiar  and also something I missed. I drove up to the end of the driveway  got out and looked backed and for the first time I realized that I’m actually getting older. I’m the leader of the Wood family, my past isn’t coming back and now that all my past is some grass, dirt and dusty boxes.  I shed my first tear for the day. Took a deep breath , got back in the car and said goodbye. Still not sure who heard it or who I was saying it to but life became more real  at that moment. The journey never ends!! Thank you God!

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One response

27 04 2016
Rob Baugher

Tyler, today you crossed over… Maybe in your world….. but definitely in mine. I read your post and it was honest and good. I typed in your name to see where I stored your other blog posts and I couldn’t find it. So I went to my ‘friends’ column and typed in your name. Today you crossed over to my friend list, welcome buddy, I am glad I know you. Rob Rob Baugher, CGR, CGB, GMB, CAPS, CGA, CGP, JC, EPA Lead Certified CEO

BAUGHER Inc ‘A Design & Remodel Company’

Homewood, AL 35209 (205) 283-1955 http://www.remodelit.info

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