Day 1098 It looks like hell

Some of my best blogs have never been published. I write it I copy and paste it and let it be hidden. It’s the stuff that very few people will ever know.  Why because I ve learned that the world doesn’t like the truth. before I wrote this tonight I had a really good one about what I see when I close my eyes. It was wonderfully deep and raw but from it spawned this.

I would never try to change your beliefs. I would love to discuss but I have my own and so here it goes!  I believe in Heaven the way its been described by religion but Also my own beliefs. I know I will be reunited with every person that has died, taken their own life and misunderstood. I also believe that if you look for it there is heaven on earth. It seems as my time gets longer on earth I see more hell on earth. Let me explain!

I’ll use my life and the people in it. I wont use what society or the news says. I have had 5 people in my life that have committed suicide and all 5 were people who you would say you were shocked that it happened. One of them blew his head off and I went into the room. If you’ve never seen it all you say is why in world would this ever happen. I myself couldn’t deal with what the world was throwing at me and  went to take my own life. I watched my father rot literally in front of my eyes. HE couldn’t wipe himself, feed himself,  and didn’t know who we were. I knew a little boy who was molested for 4 years and it took 2 more years to find out. I see him now and he’s so odd and different. Can you imagine what in world he saw and what happened to him. We all know what cancer has done to someone. Car accidents that Mame or turn someone into something that doesn’t look human.

All say all of that to say this: So there is a place worse than what we see and feel on earth? I say no way! It’s why  when someone asked why I changed or why I should I always say I don’t want to be left behind here. I believe the earth is hell. It’s why when I leave this body the earth can have my body but God gets me.  What if I’m wrong. Well I go with everyone else and can irritate them “there”. In the mean time I will help has many people not feel or see the pain. I will try to find the best and the heaven that the earth does show us. Accept the truth and let’s get where we belong