Day 1095 What I learned from being Shallow

1 02 2016

AC comes back on this weekend  as we reach 80 on Sunday. I know people are so happy but those same people complain about their allergies and bugs you can’t have them both people!! Oh I also want a blizzard just one time not the kind at Dairy Queen but where you can make real snowmen.

If I typed this out and said I wasn’t shallow almost my whole life that would be a huge lie. Sure guys are more physical creatures blah blah but I was worse. Looks were actually the only thing I cared about. Oh sure I would tell the girl all the stuff I was supposed to but honestly it was physical. I told “her” every chance I had how beautiful she was and sure she liked but what about who she was. The reason you either fall in or out of love with someone. The make or break stuff. Well I knew it but I never explained it. The way I was raised or maybe I forgot to but I didn’t get Tyler you are this and that. I did get I’m proud of you but I never knew why really. So in my marriage or dating life before my marriage I was always so astounded when I complimented your looks but never told you about the important things and “she complained” I would always tear her down real well with what I didn’t like but I never filled her heart with the things that mattered. It was either I didn’t want to, didn’t know how to, or just wouldn’t.

Last year my daughter I was talking to her and told her I’m so proud of you Morgan and she asked me why. She had never done that. I always tell her everyday shes beautiful. I just told her because she was my daughter. Guess what that’s not enough!! I went into counseling and talked about it and started reading online. If we don’t want to be superficial and don’t want our kids to focus on looks then we have to teach them that. We also have to teach adults that. True there must be physical attraction if your going to date , what about what you want to find in someone. What about just a friendship. If you’re building up someone telling them all the great things about them ,they will begin to believe it. If all we concentrate on is looks then that’s all we will find. Have you ever met someone who is beautiful and after getting to know them they became just an ugly human. Or you meet someone and say they are cute  and then you get to know them and your eyes open and you see them so beautiful.

For me I’m the second. I’m cute but once you get to know me your like why isn’t he on chubby GQ. lol. I have a great responsibility to my kids and anyone in my circle to  tell them they physically look good but also what makes them so special. If we spend more time telling others to find the beautiful person inside then our relationships become more lasting and fulling.

If you have never watched Shallow Hal go rent it download it or whatever we do nowadays. I was Jack Black in the movie. If your relationships are failing then try find the beauty inside. I’ve worked so hard to let my kids know their inner beauty and it’s still a struggle because all of theirs lives I just concentrated on the outside. Especially with girls and women, society all ready beats them up enough about their looks its time for men to make a stand and teach them what matters. Relationships and marriages didn’t fail because of looks they failed because you never knew what to look for and when the newness of the looks faded you were like crap I don’t like this person. Take it from a recovering Shallow Hal looks matter but its the ones inside that last forever.

 

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