Day 1071 My mom’s Eulogy

4 01 2016

Thank you so much for the outpouring of support for my family. I had no idea what a whirlwind was until now.  On Saturday we buried my beautiful mother. The ceremony was amazing, beautiful and I believe it’s exactly what my mom would have wanted. One of my closet Brian Hackney officiated along with myself. My amazing daughter also got up and through her tears read her amazing thoughts. I was so proud of her and her courage when she was so scared. Then my sister found the courage to speak. I honestly thought she wouldn’t be able to but man she did such an amazing job and spoke so much of her heart. I then got my opportunity and I took a deep breath and choked back tears then started and that’s all I can remember. I wish I could tell you more or I was lying to you but I honestly can’t remember anything. I know God took  over because I was so worried about not being able to honor my mother and I’m always so hard on myself it’s probably better that way.

When I sat down and Brian closed you with an amazing message I told myself what happened. I had a few more tears then it was time to be strong again. I felt so disappointed in myself for not knowing how I did. Then people started telling many so many things about how great it was. I’ve received messages since Saturday and they were so touching. I’m not telling you this so I can look at me but to show you another example in the midst of so much pain and loss God is and was there. One of my  dear friends sent this to me today and I thought  I would share. It made my heart feel good and she would have been honest with me good or bad but maybe in my healing I needed to hear this:

First of all, I thought your choice of Brian to officiate was excellent.  He brought in a very real and relatable message that is sometimes missing at funerals.  I loved how he spoke, but didn’t preach.  I thought the message of grieving and being supportive of the family was just perfect.
Now to you…  I have never heard a better remembrance than the one you gave of your mom.  I am in awe of how you were able to speak in the first place, but even on top of that, your words and stories brought a mix of grief, humor, and love that created a powerful testimony to who she was and also to who you are.
Though I have thought it before and said it before, you have such a gift of speaking.  And to be able to represent that gift in your own Mom’s funeral testifies to your gift.  I have never seen you speak in person before; I was absolutely moved by the presence you project.  I can only imagine how that presence comes out when you are in a different setting.  I think perhaps when your mom saw you speak and give your testimony, she was moved by your natural gitftedness as much as your story.  God has plans for you Tyler… big plans.  There is something so special and inspiring in your voice, your manner, and your story.
Believe in yourself.  You are well worth believing in!
As I blog to heal and get my thoughts down so I can go back and read them so I can see where I was. I also hope that  they help you and  someone else. The emptiness is something I never felt, I feel like a ghost just floating alone, hoping I could call my mom or she’s going to call me but realizing that shes not. I love you all so much and pray that this new journey is one you will walk with me.
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One response

5 01 2016
MeRaw

I’m sure your mom is so proud of you and your daughter.
Take care x

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