Day 1067 My mom died yesterday

30 12 2015

We all know life can change in an instance and yesterday it did. My sister called me yesterday at 9:25 am hysterical and in between her tears she said mom is dead. I knew that it was not a joke of any sort. I asked her to calm down and she said the paramedics said she had been dead about 6 hours. The same way she fell asleep is the same way she died. She most likely died of a heart attack or blood clot. To say that sitting here in totally shock and numbness would be under statement. With my father I knew it was coming I got to say goodbye but not this time. I told my mom when she got home from work on Monday I loved her. I had no regrets with my mom. Dying peacefully is a great point but my only one now.

God didn’t ask me! People say when God is ready he will take them and that he did but my sister, our kids and I weren’t ready. How do you go from on a Monday shes still here then Tuesday shes not. I wish I could tell you I was mad, or confused but Im not. Ive cried a a lot in spurts. I lost it today when we picked the casket. We went through pictures at the funeral home, we gave her final clothes and I signed all the documents and sit in awe that it was over.

I know a lot of people have lost their parents and now I can sympathize with them but being 40 years old and filling like an orphan sucks. We do visitation Friday night and the service Saturday Im speaking about my mom at the service, I cant do justice to the women. She was truly the most amazing women I have ever known.

With my relationship with God being closer I get to put myself to work to make sure. As God and I go through the roller coaster I promise to continue to be vulnerable, honest and open as another journey starts for me. Please continue to read and encourage whenever you can.

Thank you so much for the people who have reached out, with so many great words, support, and love. If you pray we could use it now. If you don’t I’ll take a high five. Here’s to another unexpected journey! Love ya

 





Day 1065 What I figured out about being a man

28 12 2015

I wish and hope you all had an amazing Christmas. It was the warmest Christmas I could remember, then Saturday we had tornadoes and flooding and this morning we had snow. Needless to say I love Texas but the weather has so many faces of multiple personality disorder.

I’m really sorry I haven’t blogged. I lost a little passion for it but also not sure I was heading with it either. I hope 2016 I get back into it and continue helping people through my words.

As we all reflect on 2015 and what it did and didn’t do and prepare to start 2016 I know what I learned. I was wrong a lot more than right. I grew a lot more than I gave myself credit for but mostly what I learned is that when I gave more of myself my life was better. We as men always are searching whats the answer to being a better man or being a man who the world would want. If you have a relationship with God you will understand that we have to give back. Our time, our skills, our money. My biggest struggles this year came when my focus came on myself. How much more money could I make, how  do I advance my career,  how do I get more for my kids. I spent the majority of my life living a life of me. Only when I realized the more I give back it comes back to me, but if my focus is only getting back I failed. I have spent a lot of time speaking through Rock Bottom, counseling people when they asked, spending one on one time with my kids, give quietly to someone in need. When I took breaks and yes I did either because I felt sorry for myself, or just got greedy and wanted to do for me because nobody was giving me what I thought I deserved. When I started only asking God for things and not thanking him I felt lost and an overall feeling of I was missing the point. Serving others will always humble us and minimize our own problems and cause our worry to lessen because we really see what problems are.

I don’t believe in resolutions. I do believe in having a few goals, with plans,  but if I want to succeed and reach my goals my focus has to be on God and is plans for me to serve.  As you prepare your resolutions or goals. If they are only about you by week three of January your plans will probably be dead please add in serving some way.  If you want what is best for others I promise it’s so much better than wanting for yourself. This year be about others and you will be blessed. I wish you the very best. Love ya





Three Pieces of Divorce Advice I’m Sick of Hearing

7 12 2015

Lessons From the End of a Marriage

So I am fully aware that this rant is somewhat hypocritical. After all, I frequently dispense divorce advice that may or may not apply to a particular situation.

But I’m aggravated. Annoyed. Tired of receiving, either in the form of an article or sometimes personally-directed, these three pieces of divorce advice that make absolutely, positively, no sense at all in the context of my experience.

And yet, even with my indignation, I have to admit there is some truth to this advice and it has modified my decisions in my second marriage. After all, what good are the hard times if we refuse to learn from them? 🙂

—–

“Before you file for divorce, gather the important paperwork and make your financial preparations.”

By the time the possibility of divorce had even flitted across my brain, my husband had disappeared and with him, all of the files that contained important…

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