Day 1017 Why depression has me now

10 11 2015

Im sorry for not blogging much lately which I will explain later. Thank you for those that have checked in on me. My family has depression that goes back at least two generations on each side. It’s hard to say it won’t happen to you until it does. Well welcome to my now and I’m not writing so you worry I’m just writing so you hopefully understand and will check on your friends and family. Life has plenty of ups and downs and the blues or sadness comes from that for sure but when you have depression sometimes there’s no reason. Here is definition:Sadness or downswings in mood are normal reactions to life’s struggles, setbacks, and disappointments. Many people use the word “depression” to explain these kinds of feelings, but depression is much more than just sadness.Some people describe depression as “living in a black hole” or having a feeling of impending doom. However, some depressed people don’t feel sad at all—they may feel lifeless, empty, and apathetic, or men in particular may even feel angry, aggressive, and restless.So here I am with really no good reason to be depressed. My life is pretty good and here I am though. I’m making it through the day by coaching my self up. I’ve been here before and now that I know what it is i know I have to get it under control or the mind spirals out of control. I feel lifeless, empty at times and then in turn that makes me mad or angry. People who have never dealt with depression will tell you, just suck it up or my Christian friends you’ve allowed the devil in your life just pray it away. I sigh and want to smack them. Thats not the way it works. It’s a chemical imbalance in the brain and you have to help it. I went to the Dr last week and about to make the most about-face medical changes I have made in a while. I have to make changes to medications and change the way I eat. I also can’t isolate or stop living my life. Its a huge damper from where I’ve been to where Im at. Its frustrating, confusing and just stupid to feel this way but I do.This time of year is hard for so many people, especially the ones that put on a great show for you then go and hide inside themselves away from you. For me please keep praying I need all I can get but also look at your friends, ask questions. I know God can do anything but if I just sit here and do nothing, nothing is what I will get. Remember people who fight depression don’t want to feel this way and you can’t just snap your fingers and make it go away.

Source: Day 1017 Why depression has me now




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