Day 1005 I finally own a home again

28 10 2015

The roller coaster of life is something that we all struggle with. The highs are so great and when we start the downhill we can do nothing to stop it. If you followed my blog you know August 2011 I attempted suicide, I had lost my dad, my business, filed personal and business bankruptcy, found out I had diabetes, lost my marriage, car. dignity, pride, friends, ego. I was at Rock bottom and truthfully nowhere to go. June 2012 I moved out of my house. Essentially every major life event took place in that house. You can see the memories, feel them, smell them and feel them course through your veins. The first home I bought, I brought my children home to this., all the firsts of life were there. I’ll never forget that I asked my buddy Lew to wait in the moving truck while I said my goodbyes. I looked around touched some walls, look at the trees I planted in the backyard, went and opened the doors to my kids rooms for one last time. I started crying because I had no idea how I would ever own a home again. Blood, sweat, tears, every human emotion I had experienced was in the that house and I was walking out of it for the last time. I wiped the tears off my face said goodbye and thank you. My buddy Lew just said its alright man! Not much more I could say.

I moved into an apartment with the emptiness of feelings. My kids had to share a room, my dog had no yard and I was left with something that wasn’t mine. AS the months went by I started being thankful for what I did have. I started repairing myself and slowly stopped beating myself up for the mistakes. Then in 2014 I went and started the home buying process. I was told you had been self-employed and you didn’t make enough, you had bankruptcy and you needed to get rid of some debt. I was devastated and thought I guess this will never happen. My faith was tested and I lost. I had asked God and his answer was no. It was just no for a bit! In May of this year I dropped my pride and ego and asked someone help me. That they did and the pieces started falling into place. I wanted to be back out close to where my first house was so my kids surroundings would be the same. I looked at 8 houses and nothing made sense. The house I really wanted was so over priced I sad maybe next year. 5 weeks ago I drove past the house and the sign was still in the yard. I called my Realtor and asked her to look at the house and said contract fell through and  it had been overpriced. I looked the next day and made an offer. 2 days of negotiating and the offer was accepted. Then the hard part getting the mortgage done. To say it was a challenge would be an understatement, with divorce, bankruptcy, self-employed etc.. but it was done.

Last Friday at 2:00 I became a homeowner again. I sat in my car and the tears of joy, happiness, a life left behind all came falling out of my eyes. I was relieved, ecstatic, but mostly thankful. Thankful that God restores people like me. A world-class loser, who had lost everything, who gave up on himself, who was ready to quit and end it all. God saw me for who I am, when I wanted to quit on this journey and the person came along to say the right thing at the right time. If your reading this I’m a story of someone who was ashes and from those ashes God lifted me up and he said are you ready to follow me now. I had no choice. If you don’t believe in hope or that there is a God I’m living proof. It has not ever been easy but as I always say its been worth it.  Best thing now is I get to mow my yard again and clean up dog poop which actually makes me pretty happy that I can.

Thank you to the people that helped me. Your part of my journey have been so appreciated.

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8 responses

28 10 2015
MeRaw

Congratulations on your new home.

28 10 2015
tywood12

Thank you so much!

29 10 2015
Mike

This is a milestone, so congratulations. Hang in there!

29 10 2015
trudgingdestiny

So so proud for you!!!!

4 11 2015
L. T. Garvin, Author

This is awesome. …personal triumph! Congratulations.

5 11 2015
kerbey

Hurray–you got beauty for your ashes!

5 11 2015
tywood12

Thank you all so much

7 11 2015
emmagc75

Congrats! What an uplifting story.

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