Day 998 Do you really believe that crap

22 10 2015

Finally my friends outside of Texas it has cooled off. My head doesn’t smell like cooked bacon anymore and the leaves are changing into  mulch because the color here goes from green to dead. It is great at night when its 60 and you can walk around without dripping in sweat. Welcome Fall and pumpkin spice whatever.

I try a few times a week to  post to my Facebook something truthful and meaningful to me. In turn I hope someone else gets something out of it. It could be about God, life, kids, overcoming something etc.. I just hope that I read it and remember but also lives change. I know what its like to be in the depths of hell and I hope that people just have hope.

I posted last week: I’ve heard a lot this week I cant do this. To get to that point breaks my heart because the hopeless feeling is overwhelming.
My sophomore year of high school someone left this poem on my desk. I still have no idea this day who put it on my desk. The number of times I have read it, held it and cried are too many to count. It always helped me realize I have hope.
I hope it does for you and remember this:
If you’re reading this God is 100% on getting you through something that you thought you couldn’t handle. Have a great day please

Tyler Wood's photo.
I had a guy message me and said do you really believe the crap (he used another word) you post. I mean come on man life isn’t easy. Its hard and you post all of this stuff and there’s no way you believe it all.
I used to be very cynical and didn’t believe it. I always said that was for someone else. I mean look at my life how could any of those things possibly  work. Look at my life this stuff just doesn’t work for me.
Fast forward there are days where i post the things I do or write the blog because I need to see it. I stopped believing or feel far from God and all the things that are important to me. I feel like a non-believer at times that where Im at  is the best its going to be, That he doesn’t want any better for me,  where I am at in life is it. Then I have two people who wake me up. It might be a text or a slap in the face meeting.
Yes I believe this (crap). I got here because of it. The church did a horrible job when we grew up of letting us know that God (yes that God) wants the best for us in every aspect, relationships, love, money, job, helping etc.. There is no limit to his love.  It’s okay to be successful and wealthy as long as we are feeding his kingdom back and not taking credit for what he did.
I have to believe what I post, read and think. If I don’t I will be at my Rock bottom again. I NEVER want to be at that place of being alive but being dead. I know if I feel the crap of the world that people need to see the hope too. I do struggle and question but that’s normal. Staying in that place of non-belief is what will cause our downfall.
You have a story too. Please tell your story even if you don’t feel worthy. I’m no different from you at all I just listened to what God wanted and not me. I’m taking the 2nd chance and trying my best to make sure that “this crap” helps someone else and being convicted when I do wrong. So I’m off to find more crap to think about.
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One response

26 10 2015
rumpydog

I am familiar with that poem and hold its truth close to heart. Unlike you I don’t believe in God. But I do believe in me, and I know that all that I am today is because I didn’t give up on me. Even when it seemed no one else believed in me, I did. So here’s to me believing in me.

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