Day 933 You only live once

16 08 2015

Good morning from San Francisco CA. Going from 100 to 73 degrees is a great reprieve . My buddy Jim and I on a whim decided we want to see some baseball and just picked San Francisco a couple of weeks ago. I missed my first event with Rock Bottom Outreach since I became a part which really bothered me but after talking to me peeps and looking at pictures it was another amazing event.  We went to the game last night and it was the Giants and Nationals. Giants won 12-6 It was the coolest sports experience of my life and I mean that. The atmosphere was electric, everybody was decked out in gear even babies, the food was amazing, theirs not a bad seat in the stadium. The stadium sits right on the pacific ocean its breath-taking to leave your seats and oh look the ocean. San Francisco was in a heat wave yesterday it reached 84 degrees, but the sun goes down and in the middle of the game its 65 with the ocean breeze. I never knew this but everyone was friendly and seemed genuinely happy. Jim and I both are very outgoing and everyone we struck up conversations with spoke back or joked back.

Every year in January we have new years resolutions. I make goals no more than three and really strive to make them work. On the 28th of December another friend Jason got in my grill a bit about living my life. He said I know you have always been guilty about buying yourself things and doing things for yourself but you have to stop. you have paid your penance to life, your friends and family. Who you were and where you were is no more its time to do for you. I really struggled with this a lot. If I do or get anything for myself I feel real guilt. I feel I’m taking from my kids or somebody else I could help. I really went to God and Brian in my counseling sessions about this. All I heard over and over is that I did not make this world for you not to experience it. There are so many beautiful things in my own backyard that I hadn’t done. If I was free spending money and not taking care of responsibilities that’s one thing but I’m not. I truly believe that God did not make us to wake up at 5am to go to work to get home and at night go to bed at 10 and do it all over again and not live any life. Routine is a life killer, and that has been proven time and time again. Living life is giving back to others, experiencing mountains, a beach, or just the open road. I have 4 friends that today have never seen a beach and for me that’s sad. God made beautiful things not only just because but that’s what life is about is experiences and memories. I have done some really cool servant work, seen some great concerts, went to some cool hole in the wall places, drove on the open road and in all of that God seemed more alive and well in me than when I’m just in my normal routine.

My favorite line from my favorite movie is from Shawshank Redemption, Get busy living or get busy dying! Im learning to live I’m not great at it but I’m trying. One day I will have someone to share that with me and that’s just the next piece of the puzzle. Until then were going to see Alcatraz which is ironic because a few times in my life I thought man I might be in their if my anger doesn’t change. Lucky for  me Alcatraz is closed and so it that part of my life.

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