Day 916 You can’t be mom and dad

30 07 2015

One of the many things I’ve learned since my divorce is that being a single parent maybe the hardest thing I’ve attempted to accomplish. You have your normal life of being an adult and then a parent to. At the end of the day there’s a lot more day than there is of you. You go back at the end of the day process and say I missed the boat on ABC but if you think about it you did pretty good. If your truly single and not in a relationship with the opposite sex you realize how much the other parent either male or female needs to be involved. sometimes they are but sometimes not. When there not I hear this. I have to be both mom and dad, or I guess I’m dad and mom. Nothing makes me cringe more than when I hear it. If you’re a woman you can read, every book, pray every day, but your DNA is not designed to be a man or understand as a man what your child needs. You might be cursing me or saying what an idiot but its true and that will never change. It’s not my opinion its fact. Women are caring, nurturing, loving, understanding, softer. yes  men have those characteristics and I do to but I’m not a woman. I’ve never carried a child or understand that bond nor can I ever. As a man to say that I’m all the things a woman is and I can do just as good of a job is laughable and vice versa. Men are risks takers, teach worth,  they are stern, they understand or see life in a different way, they like things most don’t, they respect differently and love totally differently. The bible lays out exactly how were different and whats expected of each.

So you want to argue with me and say you’re an idiot.If you read nothing else and understand nothing else let it be this:  If you’re a woman and tell your son your dad doesn’t matter I’m your dad, or your a dad and tell your daughter Im mom and dad what you have done is tell them that the other sex parent doesn’t matter. So what your telling them is that they being a woman or man doesn’t matter when they grow older and become a parent. I mean if one person that’s an opposite sex isn’t needed what will my role be. You take away what they were born or designed to be.  Tyler you don’t understand the other parent is absent. I do get it actually and it hurts you as a parent that the other parent just doesn’t give a damn but you are only who you are.

So what do you do. You only be the best mom or dad you can be. Don’t diminish the opposite sex parent. They will figure out eventually how the other parent is but they need to know that there are things that you can’t provide because you weren’t designed that way.  Help them find a mentor, push them to read about being a man, woman parent so they can appreciate what were doing but build who they are and what is expected of them as they become parents. I know this isn’t going to be a popular blog but I would tell you study this before you blast and if your into books read the oldest book made The Bible and see what is expected of a man and woman by God himself. No matter what your opposite sex parent is doing your job is to continue to be the awesome parent you are.

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Day 916 You can’t be mom and dad

29 07 2015

One of the many things I’ve learned since my divorce is that being a single parent maybe the hardest thing I’ve attempted to accomplish. You have your normal life of being an adult and then a parent to. At the end of the day there’s a lot more day than there is of you. You go back at the end of the day process and say I missed the boat on ABC but if you think about it you did pretty good. If your truly single and not in a relationship with the opposite sex you realize how much the other parent either male or female needs to be involved. sometimes they are but sometimes not. When there not I hear this. I have to be both mom and dad, or I guess I’m dad and mom. Nothing makes me cringe more than when I hear it. If you’re a woman you can read, every book, pray every day, but your DNA is not designed to be a man or understand as a man what your child needs. You might be cursing me or saying what an idiot but its true and that will never change. It’s not my opinion its fact. Women are caring, nurturing, loving, understanding, softer. yes  men have those characteristics and I do to but I’m not a woman. I’ve never carried a child or understand that bond nor can I ever. As a man to say that I’m all the things a woman is and I can do just as good of a job is laughable and vice versa. Men are risks takers, teach worth,  they are stern, they understand or see life in a different way, they like things most don’t, they respect differently and love totally differently. The bible lays out exactly how were different and whats expected of each.

So you want to argue with me and say you’re an idiot.If you read nothing else and understand nothing else let it be this:  If you’re a woman and tell your son your dad doesn’t matter I’m your dad, or your a dad and tell your daughter Im mom and dad what you have done is tell them that the other sex parent doesn’t matter. So what your telling them is that they being a woman or man doesn’t matter when they grow older and become a parent. I mean if one person that’s an opposite sex isn’t needed what will my role be. You take away what they were born or designed to be.  Tyler you don’t understand the other parent is absent. I do get it actually and it hurts you as a parent that the other parent just doesn’t give a damn but you are only who you are.

So what do you do. You only be the best mom or dad you can be. Don’t diminish the opposite sex parent. They will figure out eventually how the other parent is but they need to know that there are things that you can’t provide because you weren’t designed that way.  Help them find a mentor, push them to read about being a man, woman parent so they can appreciate what were doing but build who they are and what is expected of them as they become parents. I know this isn’t going to be a popular blog but I would tell you study this before you blast and if your into books read the oldest book made The Bible and see what is expected of a man and woman by God himself. No matter what your opposite sex parent is doing your job is to continue to be the awesome parent you are.





Dealing With Anger – You Have to Understand It Before You Release It

29 07 2015

Lessons From the End of a Marriage

It happens every summer without fail.

Once the heat settles in, the corners of the oppressive blanket tucked tightly around the city, the AC that is tasked with cooling the upstairs is simply not up to the task. The thermostat will be asked to lower the temperature to a bearable 75 and, although it tries valiantly to succeed, once the sun has reached its apex it simply cannot lower the mercury below a stifling 78.

Sometimes I have to laugh at my husband. He climbs the stairs to his upper-floor office and, after feeling the airless bear hug of the second floor heat, he lowers the thermostat from its usual 75 to 73.

As though asking the air conditioner, already running non-stop for much of the day, to try harder will somehow influence the ambient air.

Of course, it doesn’t work. The AC is simply doing the best it can…

View original post 1,487 more words





Day 913 All his strings broke

27 07 2015

You have those moments when parenting when you hear something that you didn’t know you would.  Before I get my kids back, I get nervous because I want to be a super dad but also please don’t let me mess up but every time I do which is okay and because of that this made my day: We were bringing all the their stuff inside from their moms and my son says: Daddy I want to be just like you, I want to be cool and funny like  you, have your cool haircut, get into a car accident and get out okay but most daddy I want to love you the way you love me and sister. I stopped in my tracks and I told him lets please not do the car wreck thing okay, but that means so much to me. I asked him to go inside I’ll be there in a second. I just cried there in the parking lot. Knowing my 6-year-old had those thoughts of me let me know no matter how many times I think I’m blowing it he doesn’t see me the way I see myself. I walked around with a little bigger chest than normal on Friday.

Since Thursday I received 3 phone calls from folks about I think I want to commit suicide. Side note: You want to serve God believe me he will give you ample opportunity. Most of the time people have had the talk with themselves but they truly don’t want to kill themselves they just want to know if their okay, if there going to be okay and what to do next. Ive learned what to say but mostly they are lonely and want to talk. Every time I hang up the phone I remember the day I was ready to end it all and better the world without me that takes me to last night. I went and saw Paper Towns and in the first 5 minutes of character development the two main charters are riding their bikes as young kids and there is a man who shot and killed himself. She goes up to the man and says it’s so sad. It later tells in the story he was a 36-year-old man who was getting a divorce and he couldn’t stand the burden or failure ( me). so he killed himself. She then looks at the other character and says all his strings broke. I was stunned because those are the words I had been searching for since that August day to explain how I felt.

If you have ever seen a piano or guitar with every string busted it’s a mess. Your thoughts are throw it away and start over. I felt at that moment in 2011 all of my strings were broke and its time to throw it away but with no starting over. When all your strings are broke there is no God at that moment, you see every mistake you, made worse than it really was, every emotion is sad and depressing, and every person you want to love you only sees you as a pathetic, nobody that will never change. We all know that is a truly a lie from the pits of hell but I promise if you’ve never been there its true and is only justified by the people who called me this week reaching out for help. It’s funny how blogs come together for me because Thursday since I’m a big strong guy people think I like helping them move heavy things. I’m always first on the list for some reason.  My buddy asked if I could come help move his piano from the living to the garage because he couldn’t fix all the strings and he was sending it out to get a remodel a guess. When we got it into the garage I lifted the lid about half the strings were busted and rolled up and the other strings were perfect. I asked him why he didn’t finish he just said he wasn’t good at it but they looked okay but sounded horrible. Then comes the movie. To see the strings that were all busted up and rolled up into ball or just hanging there looking worthless that was my life almost 4 years ago. To see what I used to think of myself but to see the other strings my buddy fixed that were in place, looked pretty good, but maybe didn’t sound perfect that is who Tyler Wood is now. Busted, bruised, rolled into a ball and supposedly worthless, have turned into a string that could be used, and when tuned properly make a beautiful sound when all the strings are finished the piano will probably sound better, work better and be used in a way it never would have. I finally found a metaphor that works for me and I have no idea how to play the piano but I know when its working and sounds good. I beg of you to let the brokeness of your life be found in a string of something for you. God did not make mistakes, you maybe lost right now, you might feel worthless, at your rock bottom, you may feel nothing is working out at all, but all your strings are not broken, they just need to be handed over to God for a little adjustment.





Day 913 All his strings broke

26 07 2015

You have those moments when parenting when you hear something that you didn’t know you would.  Before I get my kids back, I get nervous because I want to be a super dad but also please don’t let me mess up but every time I do which is okay and because of that this made my day: We were bringing all the their stuff inside from their moms and my son says: Daddy I want to be just like you, I want to be cool and funny like  you, have your cool haircut, get into a car accident and get out okay but most daddy I want to love you the way you love me and sister. I stopped in my tracks and I told him lets please not do the car wreck thing okay, but that means so much to me. I asked him to go inside I’ll be there in a second. I just cried there in the parking lot. Knowing my 6-year-old had those thoughts of me let me know no matter how many times I think I’m blowing it he doesn’t see me the way I see myself. I walked around with a little bigger chest than normal on Friday.

Since Thursday I received 3 phone calls from folks about I think I want to commit suicide. Side note: You want to serve God believe me he will give you ample opportunity. Most of the time people have had the talk with themselves but they truly don’t want to kill themselves they just want to know if their okay, if there going to be okay and what to do next. Ive learned what to say but mostly they are lonely and want to talk. Every time I hang up the phone I remember the day I was ready to end it all and better the world without me that takes me to last night. I went and saw Paper Towns and in the first 5 minutes of character development the two main charters are riding their bikes as young kids and there is a man who shot and killed himself. She goes up to the man and says it’s so sad. It later tells in the story he was a 36-year-old man who was getting a divorce and he couldn’t stand the burden or failure ( me). so he killed himself. She then looks at the other character and says all his strings broke. I was stunned because those are the words I had been searching for since that August day to explain how I felt.

If you have ever seen a piano or guitar with every string busted it’s a mess. Your thoughts are throw it away and start over. I felt at that moment in 2011 all of my strings were broke and its time to throw it away but with no starting over. When all your strings are broke there is no God at that moment, you see every mistake you, made worse than it really was, every emotion is sad and depressing, and every person you want to love you only sees you as a pathetic, nobody that will never change. We all know that is a truly a lie from the pits of hell but I promise if you’ve never been there its true and is only justified by the people who called me this week reaching out for help. It’s funny how blogs come together for me because Thursday since I’m a big strong guy people think I like helping them move heavy things. I’m always first on the list for some reason.  My buddy asked if I could come help move his piano from the living to the garage because he couldn’t fix all the strings and he was sending it out to get a remodel a guess. When we got it into the garage I lifted the lid about half the strings were busted and rolled up and the other strings were perfect. I asked him why he didn’t finish he just said he wasn’t good at it but they looked okay but sounded horrible. Then comes the movie. To see the strings that were all busted up and rolled up into ball or just hanging there looking worthless that was my life almost 4 years ago. To see what I used to think of myself but to see the other strings my buddy fixed that were in place, looked pretty good, but maybe didn’t sound perfect that is who Tyler Wood is now. Busted, bruised, rolled into a ball and supposedly worthless, have turned into a string that could be used, and when tuned properly make a beautiful sound when all the strings are finished the piano will probably sound better, work better and be used in a way it never would have. I finally found a metaphor that works for me and I have no idea how to play the piano but I know when its working and sounds good. I beg of you to let the brokeness of your life be found in a string of something for you. God did not make mistakes, you maybe lost right now, you might feel worthless, at your rock bottom, you may feel nothing is working out at all, but all your strings are not broken, they just need to be handed over to God for a little adjustment.





Day 907 I blew it Saturday

21 07 2015

On Friday night my buddy Jim and I went to a concert with the bands of Pennywise and Danzig. I had made a promise to myself that if Danzig came back to Dallas I would see them. They were my band I used to get my blood flowing before any sports or other blood flowing event needed. Needless to say they didn’t let us down. We also participated in the mosh pit. I had so much fun but boy my body was not a happy camper the next day. It’s good to remember that you still have it at almost 40 but you only have it for a day. Ha ha

If you know me at all you know I’m real, not judgmental and try real hard to live a good God-fearing life. You also know I still struggle and sometimes do some really idiotic things. Most of the stupid things I do are fear based and have nothing to do with the way God sees me but the way I feel and look at myself based on the past me. Its start with a real dumb thought and the next thing you know I’m burning down my life. Then I just pray the next day I wake up and I’ve snapped out of it. Saturday night hanging out with my buddy J. and he said something that stirred a feeling about how my trust in people or lack there of comes from ex marriage. It really made me think that man I thought I had come further than that. He was right though but it kept stirring and truthfully pissed me off Not at him but me. as the night went on I acted like I was okay and I wasn’t. We then went to another venue and ran into a friend that I love to death. Heard a story about how he was doing and it made me hurt for him so much. I got actually upset at that point that I was visually and verbally losing my temper. I was having a conversation and prayed God would settle my heart down but to avail. ( I know I’m leaving out details but I have some cleaning up of what I did so I won’t mention names). I wont apologize for what I said but I will apologize for what I did. We actually got into a physical altercation in the parking . It was truly all my fault. I should have walked away but I didn’t. It was the first time in 4 years I lost my head. I know my temper and have done great keeping me under wraps. All as I can say is I’m sorry to my buddy but not sure that will work. I’m still waiting!

So where did it come from: It came from the parts of me that made me think that my opinion or thoughts didn’t matter, I wasn’t important, that maybe I wasn’t who I thought I was. Sunday I drove to Waco so I had sometime to process and clear my head. The devil is real and if you don’t always keep your guard up Satan walks in and attacks everything he knows that you fear. He can kill so much inside you and Saturday night Devil 1- Tyler-0. I’m so embarrassed by my actions but after much thought it’s another on my list of actions that I will get to the bottom of and grow from. God never said don’t sin , he asked us to be convicted of them. Here I am raising both hands knowing full well its a mistake and that won’t happen again as long as I follow his path and not mine. Sometimes the ones that are perceived to be the strongest get the least support because people believe they don’t need it. I for one accept any and all support because I can’t do this by myself.  I blew it Saturday so here’s to being the man I am not the one I used to be. Thanks!!





Day 907 I blew it Saturday

21 07 2015

On Friday night my buddy Jim and I went to a concert with the bands of Pennywise and Danzig. I had made a promise to myself that if Danzig came back to Dallas I would see them. They were my band I used to get my blood flowing before any sports or other blood flowing event needed. Needless to say they didn’t let us down. We also participated in the mosh pit. I had so much fun but boy my body was not a happy camper the next day. It’s good to remember that you still have it at almost 40 but you only have it for a day. Ha ha

If you know me at all you know I’m real, not judgmental and try real hard to live a good God-fearing life. You also know I still struggle and sometimes do some really idiotic things. Most of the stupid things I do are fear based and have nothing to do with the way God sees me but the way I feel and look at myself based on the past me. Its start with a real dumb thought and the next thing you know I’m burning down my life. Then I just pray the next day I wake up and I’ve snapped out of it. Saturday night hanging out with my buddy J. and he said something that stirred a feeling about how my trust in people or lack there of comes from ex marriage. It really made me think that man I thought I had come further than that. He was right though but it kept stirring and truthfully pissed me off Not at him but me. as the night went on I acted like I was okay and I wasn’t. We then went to another venue and ran into a friend that I love to death. Heard a story about how he was doing and it made me hurt for him so much. I got actually upset at that point that I was visually and verbally losing my temper. I was having a conversation and prayed God would settle my heart down but to avail. ( I know I’m leaving out details but I have some cleaning up of what I did so I won’t mention names). I wont apologize for what I said but I will apologize for what I did. We actually got into a physical altercation in the parking . It was truly all my fault. I should have walked away but I didn’t. It was the first time in 4 years I lost my head. I know my temper and have done great keeping me under wraps. All as I can say is I’m sorry to my buddy but not sure that will work. I’m still waiting!

So where did it come from: It came from the parts of me that made me think that my opinion or thoughts didn’t matter, I wasn’t important, that maybe I wasn’t who I thought I was. Sunday I drove to Waco so I had sometime to process and clear my head. The devil is real and if you don’t always keep your guard up Satan walks in and attacks everything he knows that you fear. He can kill so much inside you and Saturday night Devil 1- Tyler-0. I’m so embarrassed by my actions but after much thought it’s another on my list of actions that I will get to the bottom of and grow from. God never said don’t sin , he asked us to be convicted of them. Here I am raising both hands knowing full well its a mistake and that won’t happen again as long as I follow his path and not mine. Sometimes the ones that are perceived to be the strongest get the least support because people believe they don’t need it. I for one accept any and all support because I can’t do this by myself.  I blew it Saturday so here’s to being the man I am not the one I used to be. Thanks!!








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