Day 863 Just let me quit

7 06 2015

Have you ever walked into a warm wet blanket. If not come to Texas now. Its hit 95 for three days in row and since we still have standing water everywhere it’s so humid. Parts of my body stick together that just shouldn’t. Since I’m bald when I sweat it looks like the beads of sweat are having races down my head. Anyway it’s hot we knew it was going to be but it just slapped us all  in the face like when I used to talk back to my mom. Its hurts!! Carry on!!

I always wanted to help people. When you help people you only picture the good that comes from helping. You really never see when lives go haywire, or people die and take their own life. I have been very blessed to get in front of 1 or 1000 and tell my story. I only know its powerful and life changing because I get told every now and then. We get to spend a lot of times with Addicts in Rock Bottom Outreach. All of us were an addict in some form or fashion so we know the brain and thoughts of addicts and what addictions can do. It can be one of the best life altering moments when someones light bulb comes on and they change their life. All I or we do is open our mouth and tell our story. God takes over from there. Seriously if we took anymore credit then its about us and I’ve played that game. I lost at it every time.  What hurts the most when the light bulb goes out and it doesn’t come back on!

Last Wednesday we lost another brother. In February we had an event where we cooked hot dogs and hamburgers and our friend showed up drunk. The great thing about him was that even though he wasn’t comfortable in his own skin he showed up to serve God drunk and all. He never hid from his demons but he couldn’t rid him self of them either. Our director and I talked that he was going down the path of suicide and what more could we do. The answer is what we do for anyone, love them, hug them, be real, be Jesus and the rest is not up to us. When you’re in this environment you see destruction and spiraling out of control you know whats coming. For me I was in the destruction and I just had one brief second where I heard God and I’m still here. My friend is not he hung himself in a tree on Wednesday. I wish I could tell you that the 50 or so people who I know that have been rescued through the destruction are the ones I only think about. It’s the one like my friend Coy that hurt the worst. He had called me in April around 10:30 and just wanted to talk. he was drunk but I actually at that moment needed someone to talk too. He spoke for about 10 minutes at the end of the conversation he said just let me quit! I told him I can’t do that I love you I’m here until you don’t want to fight the battle. It’s not my job to let you quit its your decision. That haunts my mind a bit even though I know I and we did all we can do. It’s not the ones we help it’s the ones we don’t that hurt the most.

There is no life altering info I can give you except. There are people out there that want your life better, we are those people in Rock Bottom Outreach. No matter what we do sometimes the demons overcome even the best people. Reach out if you’re at the end, you’re not alone unless you choose to be. You have no idea how many people love you and would be so lost without you and I’m sorry we don’t tell you until you can’t physically hear it anymore.

God said it would be worth it but not easy. today it’s not easy!!




One response

7 06 2015

Sorry for the loss of your friend, Ty. That’s got to hurt. Yes, it came down to him. But still, it’s sad that he couldn’t fight hard enough to find the answer like you did.

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