Day 845 Divorce is the only answer

20 05 2015

I’ve tried to tell my friends that aren’t in Texas how much we have received in two months. I know after 4 years of drought floods come but hey were good now. Lets send the rain to California. One lake was 32 feet down in February which means on 21% of it was filled. After lasts night rain it 9 feet down. The lake that is closet to us was 12 feet down and now its 6 feet above level.  What it means is that we took our rain dance to far. Milli Vanilli said it best Blame it on the rain. Okay I’m sorry I typed that out but hopefully you laughed.

If you have read my blog for very long you know I despise divorce. Not only for the adults but the kids are never the same. I could give you stats and blah blah about why about keeping you family in tact is best but I’m sure you’ve heard it all.  I’m a proponent for fighting to the bitter end (no pun intended) to save your family. I know because I did it. I wasn’t perfect in trying to plug all the wholes in the boat but when it was over I knew I did everything within what God gave me to save my marriage. I walked away with no regrets. I mean none. The church and Christians have done a horrible thing to divorcees to shame them about divorce and quoting what the bible says. I can read my bible and I know what it says about divorce but I can also show you in the bible where God dislikes bad marriage and the the life we have. God never wanted us miserable, broken or hopeless. That’s a promise! The broad paint brush that people use is so funny because if you bring up their sin they want to move on from that and just focus on what divorce is doing. I’m here to give another side.

Yes there are exceptions to every rule so lets through that out. 1.Sometimes people suck at being married. They just aren’t or won’t be capable of being faithful. Sure you can get help but they usually follow what they saw growing up and that circle hasn’t been broken yet. Just because God created us to be together doesn’t mean everyone is cut out for it. If you get married in your teens or early 20’s your destined to fail. You change so much in your 20’s that by the time you get to 30 you have no idea who the heck is the person you married is. I know this for a fact. The ones that married in there 20’s (again not all) have to trick up their life sexually etc.. with a job that travels so they didn’t see each other. 3.God has left their marriage- You got married in a church and that was the last time you were there,  or you went to church so your neighbor saw you went but God is page 20 of your newspaper.

4. Its takes two to be successful in a marriage and especially if you’re trying to repair it. YOU cannot fix a marriage if you’re the only one getting help because YOU CANT CHANGE SOMEONE ELSE. They can change but you can’t change them. If you divorce someone because the snore you’re an idiot. Everybody has things that the other person isn’t going to like. That’s the magic of marriage is taking the difference in two opposite people and make a beautiful cracked vase out of it.

If your physically being abused get out now. That typically doesn’t change and once the first punch is thrown it only gets easier to continue for you to be the punching bag of choice. Otherwise I say this, alcoholism, verbal abuse ( thats a 2 way street), drugs, family curses ,relatives, religious difference, greed, laziness, selfish etc.. With each one of these and more you don’t just leave your spouse. The vows said for better and worse. Not this is getting hard now leave. You fight your butt off to love, guide,  get counseling, direct, lead, hug, cry, fear for your spouse but sometimes after you have given your all. It’s okay to hang up and move on. People with demons won’t change, it’s always someone else  fault and I promise you have to hit Rock Bottom and lose it all to realize what you had. Some will never change and that’s not your fault. If you have given it your all God’s going to love you no matter what. He knows if you truly gave it your all or when it got tough you just quit.

Your only a failure in life when you don’t try! You get married it gets hard you quit, yes then you failed. Im tired of knowing that I have a lot of great people getting beat down because they got divorced. I know they tried and I know how bad your heart hurts, from betrayal, failed dreams, broken souls kids tears. If you have never been down the journey of being divorced it’s probably better you stay in your glass house and keep your mouth shut.  To my divorced peeps. Mend the heart, open it up again and find someone who didn’t quit and fought their butt off then ask God to show you his way and not your own.




One response

20 05 2015
Pete Deakon

Hey Tyler,

I think you’ve probably read that I’m reading a bunch of NT Wright. I doubt you have, but what I love (most of the time) about how you talk about Christianity is that you’ve got a solid understanding of the real-deal theme of it. (As if I’m some expert. ha.) Anyhow, for me, the historical record supports the fact that Jesus totally forbade divorce. The whole adultery exception was something the early church made up because divorce was (is) so prevalent that people were freaking out about His decree against it. But I don’t think that was His point. I think His point was that divorce is wrong because the only way to not get a divorce is for both parties to have a quite literal coming to Jesus moment and change into better people. But they didn’t, we don’t and our kids won’t. Whatever. The bigger point His total forbidding of divorce, to me, is that we’re all sinners. Until I got a divorce I really thought that I had lived a pretty sin-free existence. Only afterwards could I finally see that I cannot live up to the highest standards. Anyhow…I plan to post a bit more on some of the stuff I’ve been reading in the future. Fascinating either way. Keep up the effort, bud.


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