Day 800 Why God Why

5 04 2015

Happy Easter! It was a great day for so many people. The best part is watching families get back together and celebrate. Lucky for me I had my babies we were so busy but had so much fun! My kids wound up with money from Easter egg hunting. I think our generation got screwed because I don’t remember money or tasty candy we had hard-boiled eggs that smelled like farts and candy that was harder than concrete. Also the Easter bunnies back then were creepy. They all had mange or some  disease that hadn’t been discovered.  Anyway sorry for the rant lol.

There is no greater peace for me than getting my babies for my week. On this Easter weekend I’m reminded that Jesus died for my sorry butt that I could have the chance to be a real father not just a guy who helped make babies. It’s never to late to start over no matter what u have done. I’m just thankful I’m here and my babies have an active father.

I was the worst  and still sometimes ask Why God why. Why for my past but today it’s why can’t a hear your voice more clearly, why can’t I find my purpose, why is my career so confusing, why can’t I find love and blah blah blah. I have heard these 3 things by 4 different people, why can’t I follow through, Why  does God always do this to me, why am I destined to fail, why do bad things always happen to me. Well after years of pain stacking research and lots of practice. Why God Why leads to we are just plain dumb and make some really horrible decisions. Do you think that a lot of the decisions we make on a daily basis that God would make them. No but he gave us free will. Thats a whole other blog. We do things based on fear, failure, other people and just our stubbornness to have to be right. Sometimes we do not make stupid decisions  one but two and maybe three times.  If we actually followed what God said and put on our heart we wouldn’t but saying why God why but thank you. I love watch people always say My life is so good and God is good because they got a job, or found true love, or got  a house but take each one of those thing sand they lose it or it’s not showing up and it’s why God why are you doing this to me. Maybe you shouldn’t quit that job or got fired because you mouth wouldn’t be quiet, or that house you blew your money on things you couldn’t afford and can’t pay your house payment. I’m sorry if you don’t pay your bills you lose your house, or I cheated on that person and they want to leave me now. Umm yeah treat people like crap and you get crap back.

Past month I’ve truly struggled with the why’s but now I’m blaming me. I know my heart and mind and I tend to lean on me because I’ve always worked it out. ( That was sarcasm folks) Doesn’t mean I don’t struggle or question God. People have told me you should never question God. If you really believe that because I didn’t voice God didn’t hear it you’re not getting it. Question God and having struggle creates conversation with God and that’s all he wants. Why God why should be I’m sorry Im dumb sometimes and make bad decisions but help me lean on you an don’t me. So rather than blaming God look at you and ask yourself would God make that decision or did I just drop the ball again. The answer your searching for you already know go with God he hasn’t been wrong yet!




One response

3 05 2015

I think you’re terrific! And I’m right there with you in the struggle.

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