Day 793 Why men pee on the toilet seat

30 03 2015

I finally got to get away down to Marble Falls Texas and spend it with one of my closet friends. No matter how long apart we don’t skip a beat. Also the drive was amazing. If you have never been in the Texas Hill Country you need to get down there and take in what we miss everyday.

I mentioned a few blogs back I wanted to show my humor and another side so here you go.  This blog will never solve the problem of men peeing on the toilet seat but Im here to offer some insight.  Just know women that men sit in pee too. At public events for some reason we wait until the last-minute have to run and sit down because it’s creeping out and we don’t check the seat. So there we are sitting in pee and creepers coming out. We do feel your pain  but not as often as you. Okay on to my point:

Why do men pee on the seat? We wait to long. Men are busy and we don’t have time to stop and pee until its make or break moment. Then we get there and the pee is about to go everywhere and we just shoot for the bowl. The bowl becomes the seat, the wall, the tank, the cabinet etc.. I have no idea wait we wait so long but we do then we leave a mess. Im sure you’re asking why don’t you just lift the seat. I promise we were taught to life the lid but not a lot. Life is a competitive for men sometimes I tell myself Im not lifting the lid because Im such a good aim Im only getting it in the bowl. Then we get some on the seat , just give up ,and it just happens more seems to get on the seat. We let ourselves down and lost the battle not the war. So we come back the next time and try again. In the middle of the night which is when most older men have to pee we don’t need the light on we’ve done this before we start pee, and then we start getting pee everywhere. Its late, Im tired and Ill clean it up tomorrow but tomorrow never comes. So the lady comes into the bathroom in the morning probably steps in pee and wakes you and ask you why did you pee on everything. The answer I gave just doesn’t make sense but its all we got. Also I know many men that have done this: you’re at someone elses house you can’t find the light switch and the pee is coming with or without you. So we pee then we panic because we just repainted the walls in dehydration yellow . We panic and grab the closet towel and clean it up. We don’t tell anyone and somebody comes in and uses  the towel but at least cleaned up. Here’s a helpful hint (if you’re at someones house smell the towel before you use it the chance of pee on it is highly likely.

Another reason: Sometimes the feeling you get from holding your pee for hours  feels so good we don’t care where we pee. When you done you get chills because it was so awesome. Its like marking your territory. You look at the pee and say that felt so good you just walk out like a boss!!

Sometimes were drunk. Were just glad we didn’t pee on ourselves but also poop. Its happened and happened to me. Peeing on the seat would be the least of our problems.

All men and boys and taught to shake when your done. So we shake and the remainder is there on the seat.. Our thought process is that it’s so little it will dry onto the seat and you ll never know.

Men if honest we like to perform dance moves and sing when we pee. Sometimes we get excited and then there it is. We got it on the seat, bowl floor, but we were singing in tune and our hips were moving like when we were in high school.

Women always say lift the seat and remember to put it down. Most remember to lift it but then the whole put the seat down thing!! Yeah we don’t do it because we hope you fall in the bowl of water sometimes. We can’t be honest and tell you that but its true.  How is that we lift the seat and pee on it. Well that’s our secret. You have yours we have ours.

Finally I promise you this. if you have a man who opens your car door for you you’ll never  know if he pees on the seat. Just trust me.

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One response

30 03 2015
Kev

lmao!

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